Chapter 44
Rian kisses me like a man dying of thirst, and the only thing that can quench his need is my taste.
His hands fist my ruined gown, gripping hard—too hard—as if he’s afraid I’ll slip away if he loosens his hold.
The force should frighten me.
Instead, it cracks something open in my chest.
Because beneath the hunger, beneath the frantic desperation of the kiss, I feel his fear.
For me.
The realization steals what little breath I have left, and I let myself sink into the bruising kiss.
The horrors of the night blur at the edges of my mind. The fire. The screams. The moment dark power flowed from my fingers and ended a man’s life. It all fades.
There is only Rian.
Only us.
My hands slide up and dive into his black hair. I rake my nails over his scalp.
A groan tears from his chest. He pulls back just enough to suck in a ragged breath.
“Mother save me, Elara.” He presses urgent kisses along my cheek and jaw. “I thought I lost you.”
The words hit harder than the kiss.
I’ve never seen the Shadow Prince so…untethered.
My heart clenches. “I’m okay.”
His arms lock around me, crushing me against him, as if he cannot stand even an inch of space existing between us.
His head drops into the space between my neck and shoulder, his breath hot against my skin.
For a moment, we stand still, clutching each other.
Then the haze lifts.
Reality crashes back in.
Nance’s whispered apology echoes in my mind. My temple stings from the strike.
“Did you find Hali?”
“She’s on board,” he answers immediately. “Along with the others.”
The knot in my stomach untwists. “Really?”
He nods, his hands sliding from my back to my arms. His thumbs trace slow, gentle circles over my skin, but his eyes are sharp as they scan my body.
“What about the Fae?” I search his face. “Anders, Silas, and—”
“Darius?” Shadows coil in his eyes.
“Y-yes.” My throat tightens. “Is he okay?”
“I’d say Darius is better than okay.” A faint, incredulous smile tugs the corners of Rian’s lips.
His fingers trail down my forearm. My unmarked forearm.
“You really did it,” he adds in a reverent whisper.
“I did,” I whisper back with a subtle smile that falters with my next thought. “But I think it hurt my magic.”
He frowns. “Why would you say that?”
I press my lips together, uncertain if I should tell anyone about the strange voice inside my head. Or how it commanded me to release it from unknown bindings.
“Hey.” Rian’s voice gentles. “Whatever it is, you must know your secrets are safe with me.”
I blink, and my rapid pulse slows.
Gods help me… I believe him.
And even if Rian thinks I’m crazy, I trust he won’t share the information.
I trust him.
I swallow my reservation and say, “The first time I tried to heal Darius…I heard a voice.”
His fingers stop their enticing circles. “A voice?”
I nod. “I thought it was the curse fighting back, but after healing Darius tonight, I know it’s something different. Something…else.”
The words feel ridiculous the moment they leave my mouth, but I don’t take them back. I know what I heard.
“And what did this voice say?” Rian’s question is controlled.
Careful.
I dip my gaze and focus on his throat where his steady pulse thrums beneath tan skin.
“It demanded to be released. It…it said to release the binding. Before it was too late and Darius’s curse overwhelmed me.”
Rian’s tone sharpens like a knife. “The curse attacked you?”
“Yes, but the voice protected me.” I lift my gaze and bite my lip. “I think…I think the voice is my power. I think they’re the same.”
Dark smoke curls in Rian’s eyes. “Why would you think that?”
I lift a single shoulder. “It’s just a feeling.”
A feeling I’m sure is right.
Rian exhales a heavy breath loaded with unspoken words. “What else did the voice say?”
My gut clenches. This is the part where my sanity might be questioned.
“‘I am all those who came before,’” I murmur, searching his stoic features for a reaction. “Do you…do you think it means my power once belonged to someone else?”
Throughout my story, Rian kept his composure.
But at that question, shadows snap from his back. One tendril whips out and strikes the table littered with maps, knocking it on its side with a crash.
I jerk away, but Rian’s hands hold me steady.
All warmth drains from his face as the mask of the Shadow Prince falls into place.
“Rian?” My stomach tightens. “What’s wrong?”
A haunted shadow flickers across his stare, but it’s gone in a blink. “Nothing I can tell you right now.”
I pin him with a determined stare. “You’re hiding something from me.”
Again.
His thumb continues to stroke my cheek. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to slaughter the entire crew on this ship on the off chance one of them overhears us. We need them for the journey ahead.”
My jaw drops. “You can’t be serious.”
“On the contrary, Elara.” Flecks of blue peek through his dark irises. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure your safety.”
The violent promise should horrify me.
Instead, warmth unfurls in my chest.
Gods save me…
I’m a mess.
Rian’s hand moves to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before sliding down to rest at the curve where my neck meets my shoulder.
“I heard you speaking with Erik,” he says. “About Helen.”
I blink at the abrupt shift in conversation. “What about her?”
“I owe you an apology.” The muscle in his jaw ticks. “I’m the reason she alerted Erik to your presence in Virendrell.”
“Because of Iris?”
Helen made it clear she wanted Rian to be with her daughter.
But is she truly so wicked that she would allow enemies into her beloved city just to get me out of the picture?
Rian isn’t that much of a catch.
Liar.
I hush my inner voice.
Though, it has a point.
Rian is set to inherit the throne from the Shadow King. I can’t think of a match that would be more favored by an ambitious mother.
“Helen’s and Erik’s mothers are childhood friends,” Rian says. “Despite the rift between Virendrellians and Sea Fae, they remain close.”
I connect the dots.
“Erik is Sea Fae?”
He nods.
My brows draw down. “So the pirates were Sea Fae?”
“No.” Rian’s hands slide away as he steps back.
His shadows right the table he knocked over and pick up the papers that fell to the floor.
He moves in front of the table and studies the map of Eranthia. “The pirates were a distraction.”
I shift to stand at his side, watching as he traces the borders of his homeland with his finger. “A distraction?”
“So Erik and his elite force could find you.” He looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Is it true you killed one?”
Karl’s unseeing eyes flood my mind while Steinn’s guttural snarl fills my ears.
“Yes,” I whisper, heart heavy.
“It’s not your fault.” Shadowed tendrils wrap around my arms. Rian takes my hand. “Hali told me what happened. You were trying to defend her and Nance.”
That doesn’t make it right.
I stare at the base of his neck. Shadows slither across his flesh, preening under my attention.
Now it’s my turn to change the subject.
“This is the Sea King’s ship,” I say.
“Technically, it’s a pirate ship the Sea King commandeered after its previous owners decided to raid one of his islands.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Why would the Sea Fae come to Virendrell for me? What did Helen tell them?”
“The truth. That you’re an infamous healer from the continent.”
I wouldn’t have said infamous…not until I healed Darius, I guess.
I purse my lips and lift my gaze. “Why would she tell them that?”
“Because the Sea King is sick, and his family is desperate to heal him. She knew they’d come for you.”
Cold realization surges through my veins. “Was that your plan?”
“Pardon?”
I tug my hands free and step back.
“We were travelling to the Sea Fae before the Pelagor attacked.” I pause, searching his eyes for the truth. “Was your plan to offer my services to their king in exchange for his alliance?”
“No—”
“Were you going to reveal my light magic to them?” I ask, my blood roaring in my ears. “Were you going to reveal my part-Fae blood to them before telling me?”
“Of course not!” Rian reaches for me.
I take another step back.
My hands start to shake.
The shadows hovering over Rian’s shoulders billow into a dark cloud that blot out the dim lantern light before they flow back into his body.
“Elara,” he says, voice low. “You are not a bargaining chip. You are mine to protect.”
“Only because you needed me for Darius.”
Now that I’ve healed his friend, there is no reason for him to—
“Perhaps I have not made things clear. Let me rectify that now.” Rian closes the distance between us with predatory grace.
Instinct sends me stumbling back until my knees hit the edge of the bed. I press my toes into the wooden floor to avoid falling.
Rian reaches me and takes my hands again, pressing my palms flat against his chest. “You are MINE, Elara.”
Butterflies stir in my stomach. “I want to believe that, but—”
“Then believe it.” He presses my hands tighter against him. “Feel my heart. Feel how it beats for you.”
My mouth dries. “Y-you can’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t even know me. Not really.”
Rian and I have known each other for weeks. Not months. Not years. He can’t speak of me like this. He can’t possibly feel this way about me.
But I do, Rian’s silky voice weaves through my mind.
I gasp and pull back.
Rian holds my hands firm. His dark eyes bore into mine, insistent. Passionate.
My soul knows yours, Elara Stonebloom. It recognized you the moment I saw you in that meeting hall.
My heart thuds wildly.
Nothing else matters. None of the half-truths or the secrets I am forced to keep. His thumb caresses the back of my hand. None of it means anything compared to the fact that my soul is yours.
Warmth floods my veins, but I cling to my doubt like it’s the only thing that can keep me afloat in this volatile sea.
“Stop it.” I swallow hard. “Talk to me out loud.”
Rian obliges. “Hours ago, you said you wanted me. Is that no longer true?”
Of course it’s still true.
I keep my lips closed.
“Was it the Lover’s Temptation talking?” he presses. “Do you not desire me?”
The tiniest flicker of pain sparks in his dark eyes, compelling me to be honest.
“I want you, Rian, but—”
“No more buts.”
A hand slides behind my neck. The other holds both of my hands to his chest. His rapid heartbeat thrums against my fingertips.
“Allow me to court you, Elara,” he says. “Allow me to prove myself. To prove what I feel for you is genuine. It is not fleeting. It is real. We are real. Please.”
My heart flips. I’ve never heard the Shadow Prince beg for anything.
“You’re the prince,” I remind him, though the protest comes out breathless and far weaker than I intend.
“I am.” His fingers slip from my hands, wind around to my back, and trail slowly down my spine, drawing me flush against him with care. “And you’re mine.”
The possessive words should send alarm racing through me.
But desire flares hot in my core.
My ruined gown brushes against his battle-worn clothes, silk and dirt against leather and shadow. His power curls through my hair like fingers, winding around loose strands as though even his magic cannot resist touching me.
My forehead furrows. “You implied things could work because I’m part Fae, but—”
“I didn’t imply.” His head lowers until only a breath separates us. Warm air ghosts across my lips. “We will work, Elara. I vow it.”
The lingering darkness within me draws tight, desperate, yearning for me to give in.
For one suspended heartbeat, neither of us moves.
Then restraint snaps.
Our mouths collide in a kiss filled with relief, triumph, and weeks of unbearable tension shattering like glass.
His hand fists in my tattered gown as though he cannot pull me close enough, and I melt into him without hesitation.
This isn’t surrender.
It's a choice.
We both want this.
We want each other.
And after everything, after deals and secrets and wars and corrupt leaders, I’m suddenly certain of one thing:
There’s no sense in wasting the time we’ve been given.
Rian glides my gown’s strap over my shoulder and kisses my collarbone.
I arch my back, leaning into the heady sensations. His arousal presses against me. Moisture gathers between my thighs, and Rian releases another toe-curling groan.
“You’re perfect.” He moves and kisses the other side of my neck, guiding the strap down my other arm. “Utter perfection.”
My top slips down, exposing the thin, lacy corset Thea tied around my rib cage.
Rian’s nostrils flare, and darkness dances in his gaze. “You’re beautiful.”
My hands slide to his arms, then dip down his torso. My fingers find the laces of his trousers.
“So are you.”
Rian’s lips crash into mine once more, and I rush to untie his pants, my hands trembling with nerves and want.
A knock slams against the door.
We freeze.
“Uh, Rian?” Jaxon calls through the closed door.
Another knock.
“Not now,” Rian snaps.
His fingers drag up my spine before tangling in my hair. He places an open-mouthed kiss to my throat that makes my knees weak.
“Sorry, brother, but this is important.”
Rian’s growl tingles against my skin.
He draws back, and his eyes lock on mine for one suspended heartbeat before he tears his gaze away from me and turns toward the door.
“What is it?” he barks.
Jaxon’s regret seeps through the thick wood. “There’s a ship on the horizon…and it’s flying King Marek’s colors.”