Chapter Twenty-Three
Lucy
“Ineed you to open your eyes for me.”
“Stay awake, baby.”
“I’m right here.”
“Please don’t leave me, Lucy.”
The murmur of voices and a loud, consistent beeping pull me from the voice in my head. The bright fluorescent lights are making it hard to open my eyes. My head is foggy as I strain to hear what’s happening around me.
“He was right, though. I should have believed him.” Ren’s voice rings out full of exhaustion.
“It wasn’t your fault. None of this is anyone’s fault. You have to stop beating yourself up.” Nash’s voice is raspy as he speaks.
“He’s right, Ren. You couldn’t have done anything to save her from this.”
Ember? What’s she doing here? Where am I?
I see a flash of red and a tree in my head as Ren’s voice gets defensive and a little louder. “I shouldn’t have let her drive back by herself.”
Shit. I was in a wreck. That red truck did this.
I blink my eyes open a few times before their blurry outlines appear, my vision trying hard to focus while they keep arguing. Finally, I can see them—Em, Ren, and Nash. There’s a tightness in my chest as I fully take them in.
“At least he found her. Let’s be thankful for that.” Ember’s voice cracks, and I see she’s holding my hand in hers, so I give her a light squeeze.
Her head swings to face me, and I see the redness in the whites of her eyes and the puffy bags under them. “Lucy?”
I nod my head before her eyes fill with more tears and she launches herself at me, stopping at the last second. She slowly and carefully pulls me into the best hug she can.
“You look like shit,” I whisper to her, my throat sore and dry.
“You don’t look much better.” Her voice is full of emotion followed by a chuckle.
I try to laugh, but the pain in my side stops me short.
I let out a small groan, and Ember releases me.
Grabbing my water cup, Em puts the straw to my mouth, and I chug as much water as I can before Ren comes to the other side of the bed.
Laying a gentle hand on my arm, he leans in to place a kiss on the top of my head.
“Hey, Love. Glad to see you awake.” I give him a small smile as I look towards Nash.
“Hi Darlin’.” His smile is wide, and there’s a shine in his eyes. He clears his throat before saying, “I’ll go grab the doctor.”
With Nash walking out of the doorway, I look around the room.
He’s not here. Why would he come?
I turn my attention back to Ember and Ren.
“How are you feeling, Love?”
“Like I ran into a tree.”
Embers holds back a laugh, and Ren chuckles. “There’s my girl.”
“How long have I been here?”
Before anyone can answer, Nash returns with Dr. Rose on his heels.
“Hi Lucy, I’m Dr. Rose. Glad to see you awake. How’s your pain level?” Her soft blonde hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, while her deep blue eyes are behind glasses, which she pushes up the bridge of her button nose. Her gentle smile puts me at ease immediately.
“I’m not sure. My head is pretty foggy, and my ribs hurt a little when I laugh.” My voice comes out dry and low.
“Yeah, we did have you on a high dose of medication to help with the pain, which is also why you’ve been sleeping a lot. We started lowering the dose this morning.” I glance out the window and notice it must be late afternoon already.
“How long have I been here?” I look back at Dr. Rose.
“A few days.” She pushes her glasses up again as I stare at her.
“Four days. You came in with a cut on your head, which wasn’t that deep, but head wounds tend to bleed a good amount.
You also presented with a concussion and bruised ribs.
You were very fortunate that’s all you walked away with.
You must have an incredible guardian angel watching over you.
” She clicks a few buttons on her tablet before returning her gaze to me.
“If you need anything or the pain worsens, hit the red button on your left there and a nurse will be in to check on you. I will be back tonight to check in again as well.” She nods to all of us before turning and walking out.
I click the button to sit the bed up further and wince when I move too far forward. Everyone is quiet, so I focus on Ember.
“When did you get here?” I ask her.
“I got in the night of the accident. Someone named Miles picked me up. Says he’s the fire chief,” she says nonchalantly.
My mouth falls open as I send daggers to Nash and Ren with my eyes.
“Why couldn’t one of you pick her up? You made Lawson do it?
” My voice is full of disbelief as the guys look between each other, trying to come up with a good enough excuse I’ll accept.
“I’ll get back to you two in a minute.” I return to Ember.
“You weren’t supposed to be here until next week. What happened? Where are you staying?”
“Oh! Miles has a cute little cabin next to his house that he’s letting me stay in.
He’s too nice. Also, you were in a fucking car wreck, Lucy.
Why wouldn’t I drop everything to be here for you?
Honestly, you gave me the perfect excuse to quit that shitty job and tell my boss to go fuck himself. ” She shrugs her shoulders.
“There’s a lot to unpack in what you just said, but let’s start with telling your boss off.
” I side-eye the guys before Ember starts her story time of what happened after she got the call from Ren about my accident.
I try to keep myself from laughing too much, but it’s hard when three of my favorite people are in the room with me.
We talk for a few hours about anything and everything before the nurse comes in, letting us know visiting hours are over.
After saying their goodbyes and making promises about visiting again tomorrow, I look out of the window. The last rays of sunlight are fading behind the distant mountain range. Pink and orange hues paint the sky, and I can’t help the small ache in my chest.
“Lucy?” Nash stands in the doorway, and I turn my gaze to him. “He does care about you.”
Tears well in my eyes, and I swipe them away before saying, “But he didn’t come. He doesn’t want to see me.” I shake my head and turn back towards the window.
“He hasn’t been home longer than he sleeps. He’s going through his own shit. Your wreck rattled somethin’ in him.” Nash’s voice is full of empathy, which causes anger to spread through my body.
“I don’t see how that would affect him. He wasn’t even there.” The venom in my voice is rough, but when Nash stays quiet, I swing my head his way.
His face is full of confusion and then realization. “You don’t remember? He found you, Darlin’. You didn’t come home, and it was Cole who went to find you. You were covered in blood and couldn’t stay awake. He thought you were dying.”
Tears fall, streaming down my cheeks. “His voice. I was hearing his voice in my head before I woke up.” My own voice cracks saying the words out loud.
“Get some sleep, Darlin’. We’ll be back in the morning.” Nash hesitates before stepping out of the door.
He saved me.
The sun is behind the mountains, darkness taking over my view from the window. I lay my head back as my mind reels with the information Nash gave me until I give in to the exhaustion coursing through my body.
My eyes fly open as my chest heaves, causing a wince and a whimper to escape my throat. Getting my bearings, I look around the room. There’s a dark figure in the corner of the room, slumped in the chair. Panic climbs up my throat until I hear a whisper of my name.
“Cole?” I ask just loud enough. The figure sits up straight, and I see hands move to their head before he spots me with my eyes open.
Leaning forward, the moonlight hits his face and I notice the dark circles under his eyes.
I carefully ease the bed into a more upright position before he makes a move.
Standing up, Colson slowly makes his way to the chair beside my bed and sits back down. Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling at this moment.
“Colson, what are you doing here?” I whisper.
“Damn, Rich Girl. I don’t even get a hello?” He lets out a halfhearted chuckle. I stare at him until he answers. “I just wanted to check on you. I didn’t think you’d be awake.” His voice is soft. When he looks up at me, relief shines brightly in his eyes.
I reach out and touch his face. “You saved me.”
He leans his face into my hand. “I almost didn’t.”
“But you did. You saved me, Colson.” I rub my thumb across his cheek. His eyes meet mine again, and I see the shine that’s covering them. “Thank you for coming.”
I see the fatigue in his eyes and on his face.
His normal hazel eyes have no fight behind them.
His breath hitches before the first tear escapes his eye.
I wipe it away for him as he says, “I didn’t think you were going to make it.
I thought I was going to lose you, too. I don’t want to lose you, Lucy. ”
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, Cole.”
He scans my face, my expression curious. He smiles gently.
“You called me Cole, not Colson.”
“Yeah, well, you called me Lucy instead of Rich Girl. Come hold me.” We both let out a quiet laugh before I scooch over on the bed and he carefully lays next to me.
I rest my head on his shoulder and carefully lay my leg across his, my hand on his chest. He holds me close, and the warmth coming from his body reminds me of sitting by the fireplace at Nana’s house. That thought makes me smile.
“Nash said he hasn’t seen you in a couple days.” My voice is barely audible.
“I’ve been doing stuff.”
“He said you were having a hard time.” I match his movements and draw circles on his chest.
Colson lets out a long sigh followed by a hard swallow. The silence between us is deafening until he finally says something.
“I’ve never told anyone what I’m about to tell you.
Nash has his ideas, but he doesn’t know everything.
Ren either.” He pauses, and I find I’m holding my breath.
“My mom wasn’t very well. Mentally, emotionally, or physically.
She hardly ever got out of bed, and when she did, it wasn’t for very long.
My father said she had postpartum depression.
It started appearing when I was a few months old.
He said it started with little things. Laundry not getting switched over, dinner not being cooked, things like that.
He said it escalated to the point where she would be in the same spot he had left her in that morning when he got home late.
When he noticed it was affecting my care, he hired a nanny to help out, but that only lasted until I started school.
That year, Dad lost the best job he ever had, and we struggled.
By then I was more independent than most kids my age.
I could make simple foods and get myself dressed.
It was around this time Dad started drinking.
Mom was only getting out of bed to use the bathroom, and sometimes she didn’t even get up for that.
Dad says he tried to get her help, but she wouldn’t go to the doctor or talk to anyone.
I would bring her food and water like a fucking dog in the mornings and at night.
” Colson’s chest shudders, and I remain quiet, not pushing him to continue.
“Anyway. When I was eight, I had a pit in my stomach all day. It started as soon as I woke up that morning and lasted all day through school. I wanted to leave at lunch, but I knew Dad would get mad at me, so I stayed. I ran home that day. Faster than I had ever run in my life. I threw the door open and headed straight to my mom’s bedroom.
When I got to her door, the pain in my stomach was making me sick.
I opened the door and there she was, lying on the bed.
I was so focused on seeing her face, I didn’t notice the blood on the bed or wall until I walked around the bed.
I ran to my neighbor's house, and they called 911.
She had grabbed a gun from the closet and shot herself after I left that morning.
I remember that even though my stomach had been hurting, I was happy because she had told me she loved me that morning.
She said I was her favorite person in the world and that she was so proud of me.
After that, Dad’s drinking got worse, and he took everything out on me. Said it was my fault she did it. That if I had never been born, she would still be here and they would be happy. I was angry. At her, at him, at myself. The guilt ate me alive for years. That pain and anger never went away.”
Tears fall from my eyes onto his chest. “I’m so sorry, Cole. You didn’t deserve that.” I grip him tighter, holding him the best I can in the position we’re in.
“I know I didn’t. But that’s why I was so scared when I found you. I was worried I was too late, like I was with my mom.” His voice cracks, and my heart physically hurts for him.
“You weren’t too late. I’m right here. You saved me, Cole.”
“Say it again.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
“My name. Say it again.”
“Cole.” I add a seductive tone to the word, and he chuckles. “You’re so weird.”
“Only for you, Lucy.”
We lay there quietly until the steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms wrapped around me lulls me into a peaceful sleep.