Chapter 5 Serena
SERENA
He sits back in his chair with an unreadable expression and for a moment, I think the exam is going to be standard. He answers my questions with short, professional responses. It isn’t unkind, but it’s distant in a way that I both demanded and subsequently hate.
Then I reach for his arm. The moment my fingers touch his skin, electricity shoots through every inch of my body. His muscles tense beneath my grip. I hear his breath catch. I pull my hand away and my eyes fly to meet his.
He's watching me with an intensity that steals the air from my lungs. "Is that really what you want? You are okay with this being only one night.”
No. Of course not. Only an insane person would willingly walk away from the best sex of their life.
"Yes." I wrap the cuff around his bicep, and my knuckles brush the edge of his tattoo. I remember tracing that tattoo with my tongue. I remember the sound he made when I did. "I wouldn’t say it’s what I want, but I know it's the only option and I’ve made my peace with it."
"There's always another option." There’s a growl to his words that makes heat pool low in my belly.
"Not for me." I turn the cuff on and watch the numbers instead of his face. "I have responsibilities. People who depend on me. I can't afford to be reckless."
"Being with me would be reckless?"
Being with you would be the end of me.
"Your blood pressure is elevated," I say instead of answering. "One thirty-two over eighty-eight."
"Wonder why." There's a hint of that smile again, tugging at the corner of his mouth.
I want to scream. I want to kiss him. I want to run out of this room and never look back. Instead, I remove the cuff and make a note on his file. "Any injuries or concerns I should know about?"
"Just one." He catches my wrist as I reach for the stethoscope. His grip is gentle but firm. "Broken heart.”
My chest tightens. “Blaze—"
"I know there are rules. I know this is complicated.
" His thumb traces a slow circle on my pulse point, and I wonder if he can feel how fast my heart is racing.
"But I'm not going to pretend that night didn't mean something. Because it did and we both know it. I’ve never experienced anything like this. "
I should pull away. No, I should report him for inappropriate contact.
No, that would be crazy given the fact that I practically willed this moment into existence.
I should do a hundred things that aren't standing here letting him touch me like I belong to him. But I can’t think of a single one with him this close to me.
"It meant something to me too." The words slip out before I can stop them. They are quiet, fragile, and undeniably true. "But that doesn't change anything."
"It changes everything."
A knock on the door makes us both jump. I yank my hand back just as Maya pokes her head in.
"Serena? Your next appointment is here early."
"I'll be right there." My voice sounds almost normal… I think. "We're just finishing up."
Maya disappears, and I turn back to Blaze. He's standing now. He’s close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off his body.
"You're cleared," I say. "Physically, you're in perfect condition."
"And you? You want me to believe that you’re completely unaffected." He trails a single finger up my forearm and watches as goosebumps ripple up in the wake of his touch.
I'm a wreck. I’m ruined for anyone else. I think about you every second of every day and it's driving me insane.
"My health isn’t your job Mr. Reynolds." I step back and give him a half smile, desperate to put a safe and professional distance between us. "Take care of yourself, Blaze."
I turn and head toward the door. I’ve got one hand on the handle when his voice stops me.
"Serena. This isn't over. Not even close."
I don’t turn around because I can’t. Instead I walk out without answering and break my own heart. My hands are still trembling when I reach the hallway.
The surge of adrenaline plays tricks on me for the rest of the day. Each time the door opens, I half expect to see Blaze walking back inside. He doesn’t, of course. But the chances that we will run into each other are high.
I can’t react like this every time I see the man. Maybe I should be more like Vivi and uproot myself altogether on a whim and transfer. Maybe I should quit and become the world’s most unlikely influencer.
The thoughts don’t stop swirling. By the time my shift ends, I'm running on fumes and caffeine. My head hurts more than my feet and I’m more than ready to put the chaos of the day behind me. I'm halfway to my car when my phone buzzes.
Vivi: Can we talk tonight? It's important.
I frown at the screen. Vivi never thinks anything is important.
Me: Everything okay?
Vivi: Yeah. Just... I might be making some changes. Need your advice.
My stomach lurches. God knows what it could be.
Me: Okay, I'll bring wine.
An hour later, I find her at the apartment we used to share before I got my own place closer to the base. She's curled up on the couch with that same distracted look she had at the bar. I hand her a glass of wine and she barely takes a sip. That’s when I know I’m in for something big.
"Okay." I sit across from her. "Let me hear it.”
"I might..." She picks at the label on the bottle. "I might be leaving town for a while."
My breath catches. "What again? No. Why? Where would you go this time?"
"I don't know for sure yet, but this time it could be my forever place. I’m thinking South Carolina." She finally looks at me, and there's something in her eyes I've never seen before. Something soft. Hopeful. "There's this guy, Serena."
“Okay, the one you were texting at the bar?"
She nods. "You aren’t going to love-love this plan, but hear me out. I think it could be something…"
My gut instinct is to tell her to be careful and slow down. I don’t want her to throw her whole life away for some dude she barely knows. But then I think about Blaze.
I think about the way he looked at me in that exam room and how I felt when he touched my wrist. Maybe I’m the crazy one and Vivi’s been on the right path all along.
"Well, I didn’t expect this one.” I let out a laugh and squeeze her hand.
"Okay, when you make your decision, here’s what I think.
Don't blow up your relationship with Jenny over at The Rusty Spur. If you leave, give her enough notice to find another bartender to help Mick, God knows how he’ll adjust to a new person.
That way if you leave, Jenny might keep the door open in case you need to come back to a stable job. "
She rolls her eyes. “I know, I know. I’m not going to do it. I’m just thinking about it…”
I laugh because we both know what that means. As I drive home that night, I can't shake the feeling that everything is about to change. Not just for Vivi, but for me too.