SIX
THIS SHOULD BE FINE
Alex
‘Am I going to get any painkillers now you lot have finished playing silly buggers?’ called out Grainger as we all came back into the lodge.
‘Hang on a sec. Just coming,’ I called back.
Silly buggers? He was right, but it had been good fun.
Oliver clearly enjoyed having fun with Noah.
Although at one point he and Paddy got very competitive, and Noah and I stood back and watched two grown men revert to boys for ten minutes.
It was all so surreal, and I smiled to myself, thinking not for the first time that day that I could never have predicted any of this in a million years.
I went in to see Grainger with his painkillers. Actual painkillers. Not the medicinal totty he’d asked for.
‘About bloody time,’ he said, swallowing them down with a glass of water. ‘Now what are we doing about food?’
‘Don’t worry, I’m on it,’ came Oliver’s voice.
‘There’s your answer,’ I said, going out of the room, but leaving the door open. ‘Do you want a hand?’ Oliver was inspecting the contents of the fridge.
‘No, you’re all good. You sit down for a while.’
I didn’t argue and took a seat in the fireside chair, where I found my gaze being drawn towards Oliver.
He was obviously very comfortable in the kitchen.
He was still wearing his office shirt and trousers but had rolled up the sleeves.
The fabric pulled slightly across his shoulders as he reached into the fridge.
Nice, toned forearms, dark hair, and what looked like a hint of a tattoo poking out on his inner forearm from beneath the rolled-up cuff.
I wondered what the tattoo was of and if he had any others.
I was so lost in thought, it wasn’t until Paddy coughed––a short, deliberate sound, that I realised I had been watching Oliver. I looked over at Paddy. He raised his eyebrows at me, the picture of innocence. Shit. I had been busted.
‘I’ll put the radio on,’ said Paddy, taking out his phone.
He must have connected it up to the speakers because a few seconds later, the cabin was filled with the sounds of Frankie Valli declaring he couldn’t take his eyes off someone. Paddy busied himself adjusting the volume, not looking at me. The absolute sod.
A short time later, Oliver served the food. No fuss, no fanfare, just plates appearing on the table in front of us like it was the most natural thing in the world. He took one into Grainger before joining us at the table.
I kept my eyes on the food, on the table, on literally anything that wasn’t Oliver.
I was doing great right up until he leaned across me to reach for my glass and fill it with water.
I caught the scent of him, wood smoke, and that scent of mild blackcurrant and bergamot that I had smelled in the car with him earlier and completely lost my concentration.
I reached for my fork and knocked it onto the floor.
When I straightened up, Paddy was already looking at me from the opposite side of the table.
He said nothing. Just took a sip of his water, picked up his knife and fork, and resumed eating.
After dinner, I offered to clear the table, but Oliver insisted he and Noah would do it.
‘You’ve got enough to think about with your patient in there,’ he said with a smile.
‘Yeah. Don’t forget about me,’ called out Grainger. ‘Someone needs to take me to the bathroom. And, no, not you, Doc.’
‘For fuck’s sake, that’s me, then,’ muttered Paddy. He got to his feet and went through to Grainger. ‘Right then. Arms around me.’
‘Ugh. This reminds me of nights out on the town,’ grumbled Grainger. ‘Although to be fair, I’ve had worse Friday nights than this.’
‘I haven’t,’ muttered Paddy. ‘Fifteen years in the army and I’m reduced to this.’
I chuckled at the exchange. The two men were obviously mates, despite the pretence they hated each other.
Ten minutes later, I was back in the Grainger’s bedroom, Paddy having deposited him on the bed after bathroom duty.
‘How are you feeling?’ I asked, as I checked Grainger’s pulse and temperature.
‘I’ve felt better.’
‘Hopefully, you’ll be out of here tomorrow. Try to get some sleep now,’ I said.
‘I’m not a child who needs tucking up,’ he grumbled. ‘You sound like my mother.’
‘Do you want me to come and read you a bedtime story?’ called out Paddy from the other room.
‘You can f––’
‘None of that,’ I cut in. ‘Not with little ears about.’
‘Jesus, now you really do sound like my bloody mother.’
‘Sweet dreams,’ I said with a smile.
‘Shut the door on your way out.’
I closed the door and couldn’t help grinning as I went back into the living area.
The log burner was doing a good job of heating the room now.
Noah was watching something on his dad’s phone, tucked into Oliver’s side like he’d always belonged there, in that comfortable informality that I had often craved for as a child.
‘The grumpy old git likes you,’ said Paddy as I sat down in the chair by the fireside. He passed me a cup of coffee.
‘Weirdly, I quite like him too,’ I said, taking the cup. ‘Thanks.’
The moment felt cosy. Warm fire, hot coffee, Noah, and Oliver chilled out. I could feel myself wanting to relax.
I looked up from my cup and saw Oliver studying me. It was the same expression he’d worn when we first met that morning. Not a hostile look. Just businesslike.
‘So, when are you expecting to have your first guests here?’ I asked, more to fill the silence than anything else.
Oliver reached over for his laptop on the side table. ‘Veterans in the next six weeks,’ he said, opening the device. ‘Tourists later in early spring, once we’re up and running a bit. Still got some renovations to do up the lodge for our holiday guests.’
He crossed the room and handed me the laptop.
There was a map of the estate, with the loch in the middle.
‘Is this the whole estate?’ I asked, looking at the map in front of me.
‘Most of it. Here on the left are the lodges for the veterans, and near that we have the stables. And over here is the wellness suite. Gym, spa, sauna, swimming pool, meditation rooms, and a medical room are on the other side. Obviously, where you’ll be based,’ he explained,
crouching down and resting his arm on the chair.
I noticed he said where I would be based. Was that confirmation I had the job, or was he just thinking hypothetically?
‘Looks great. And the south side where we came in?’
‘That’s where Risk Lodge is, and that’s where the paying guests will stay. They’ll have access to the wellness centre too.’
‘And with the veterans, what sort of numbers are we looking at?’
‘Five initially. See how it goes. There’s scope to go up to ten, but that’s the limit. It really depends on individuals, staffing levels, etc. We don’t want to dilute the support the veterans need.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ I was glad he wasn’t just in it for the money. He obviously cared about his clients. ‘What about living quarters?’
‘Oh yeah, so the staff quarters are where we are now, that’s here on the map.
We’re at the back of the estate, beyond the veteran’s lodges.
There’s a rear entrance to the estate with a gatehouse, that’s where I’ll be living with Noah.’
He moved the screen across. ‘You’ll be based in one of the staff lodges obviously.’
Again, there was that idea that I might already have the job.
I hoped so. This was the perfect place for me right now.
Tucked away in a corner of Scotland, where no one knew me.
If it all went well, I might even be able to stay here for longer than the usual six months I managed to stay in one job before feeling the need to move on.
I needed stability, and Risk could provide it.
‘You said we were about six miles from the nearest town?’ I asked.
‘Yes. Risk is on the coast.’
‘That’s where I’m going to school,’ said Noah.
‘Oh, nice. Have you been for a visit?’ I asked, wondering what his mum thought about him living up here.
‘Yes. Last time we were here.’
‘It’s just a small school,’ said Oliver. ‘A bit different to what he’s used to, but that’s half the reason for coming up here.’
‘It’s a big change,’ I said. ‘For both of you.’
‘It is. But we’ll manage. Noah will still get to see his friends from London in the holidays and when he’s visiting his mum.’ I didn’t miss the restrain in his voice and guessed there was far more to it that he wanted to let on.
Before I could think of anything to say, Noah spoke. ‘Will you miss your friends if you live here?’
‘It’s easy to stay in touch with people,’ I said.
It was also easy to not stay in touch, but I wasn’t about to say that.
‘What about your mum?’ Noah was still watching the phone.
‘Er… I talk to my mum every day, so it will be okay.’ I got to my feet and picked up my cup. ‘Fresh coffee?’ I asked, moving across the cabin to the kitchen area.
‘Thanks,’ said Oliver. ‘I’ll get Noah settled first.’
Noah voiced a minimal protest, but ten minutes later Oliver returned to the kitchen, having got his son to bed. I was standing at the sink washing up my cup. Paddy had disappeared outside for a smoke and to make a couple of calls, he’d said.
‘Hey, sorry about Noah asking too many questions,’ said Oliver, picking up a tea towel and drying the plates from earlier, which I was sure didn’t need drying.
‘It’s okay. He was fine.’
‘Your mum. Does she live near you?’
‘Not exactly.’
‘You won’t mind being up here away from her?’
I slowly placed the cup I was washing onto the draining board and flicked the soap suds from my hands. I turned to face Oliver.
‘My mum isn’t alive anymore. She died ten years ago.’
Usually, when I told someone my mum was dead, they reacted a bit flustered.
It was that funny thing people did when they felt awkward, and I could usually see them doing the maths and working out that my mum died when I was pretty young.
Or they rushed in with platitudes because, again, they felt awkward. Death did that to people.
Oliver did none of those things. He paused. Then spoke. ‘That must have been tough,’ he said, simply stating a fact.
‘Yeah. It was.’
‘And still is, I imagine,’ he said quietly. ‘But you learn to carry it differently over time.’
He didn’t look at me when he said it. He kept drying the same plate.
I turned back to the sink. ‘Yeah. You do.’
‘You must have been, what, early twenties?’ he asked. No, sorry for your loss, no changing the subject.
‘Twenty-two.’
He nodded. ‘Young. What about your dad?’
‘My dad hasn’t been in my life for even longer. And not because he’s dead.’ I paused. ‘Although he may well be. I’ve no idea.’
Oliver set the plate down and picked up another. ‘Even tougher in that case.’
‘Well, life goes on, as they say.’
‘They say that when they don’t know what to say.’
‘Is that what you say?’
I don’t know why I was poking him for an answer, but I was intrigued by him. There was a lot more going on behind those eyes than I had given him credit for. A lot more.
He considered my question for a moment. ‘What do I say? Nothing, usually.’
‘What about your parents?’ I asked, deflecting the conversation away from my circumstances.
‘My parents are divorced. I see my mum regularly. She helps out with Noah.’ He placed the now dry plate down. ‘My dad remarried and finally go the daughter he wanted.’
‘You have a half-sister. That’s nice.’
‘Sister. We don’t bother with the half bit.’ He gave a smile. ‘Mia. We’re all a bit protective of her, which she absolutely hates.’
We finished with the dishes, and I accepted a nightcap from Oliver. Grainger’s whisky.
‘Just between us,’ said Oliver in almost a whisper as he handed me a glass and sat down on the sofa.
‘He’ll kill us if he finds out,’ I whispered back.
‘He’s got to catch us first.’ He raised his glass in my direction, and I did the same with mine. ‘And he’s going nowhere with a fractured ankle.’
My phone pinged out a message alert from my pocket. I probably should have left it, but I took it out and looked at the screen.
Unknown sent a photo.
My thumb hovered over it for a second. I glanced up. Oliver was watching me with that steady, unreadable look of his.
I swiped it open.
The tumbler stopped halfway to my mouth.
It was me. Taken this morning as I walked up to Laker Security offices.
The picture hadn’t been taken with a long lens camera from a distance.
It was up close. Pavement level. Whoever took it had been right there, close enough to touch me, and I’d walked straight past them without a flicker of instinct.
They were close enough that I hadn’t even known they were there.
That was the most unsettling thing of all.
I closed the message quickly and pushed my phone back into my pocket. When I looked up, I realised Oliver was still watching me.
‘The job’s yours,’ he said quietly. ‘If you want it.’
‘I want it.’
‘Good.’ He took a sip of his drink. ‘You can start whenever you want. Either in London or up here. You don’t have to decide straightaway. Have a think and let me know when you’re ready.’
‘Thank you. I appreciate that.’ And I did. Far more than he would ever know.