NINETEEN
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Alex
Trust him. He was asking me to trust him. I hadn’t trusted anyone in a long time, but with Oliver, it was different. I knew that, but it scared me too.
I wanted to reach out to him. To touch him. To ground myself. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to walk away.
‘I do trust you,’ I said, my voice small. I cleared my throat. ‘I really do. It’s just…’
‘Scary? I know.’
He didn’t move, and I knew he was waiting for me.
It was a trait of his I’d come to appreciate more than anything.
He never rushed me. Never pushed. Always held back.
Maybe a bit too much sometimes. He’d never said, but I could tell he wasn’t quite giving me everything.
The irony wasn’t lost on me that we were both trying to navigate our future under the shadow of our past.
I reached for his hand, my fingers finding his. He returned the hold.
‘I don’t want to leave, but I’m scared to stay,’ I said.
He nodded. ‘I know that too.’ He paused. ‘I’ll be honest, Lexi, whatever you’re running from, whoever you’re running from, you will be safer here than anywhere else. I can promise you that.’
I knew a promise from Oliver wasn’t given lightly. He was the kind of man who said what he meant. He didn’t make empty promises. Over-promising and under-delivering was not what this man was about.
‘I don’t know who is sending me the photos,’ I said eventually.
‘This isn’t the first time?’
I shook my head. ‘I had a text message picture. It was taken outside your offices when I went for the interview. And now this.’ I held his hand a little tighter. ‘The flowers. I thought they were from you.’
Oliver ran his finger along his bottom lip. ‘Any ideas who is behind it?’
‘Not really.’
‘Not really kind of means you have a suspicion.’
‘It’s a long story.’
‘I’m not in a rush.’
‘Your flight.’
I didn’t want to hold him up, but I also didn’t want him to leave. And I also hated that I needed him right now.
‘It can wait.’ He took my other hand, and when I didn’t resist, he put his arms around me, drawing me into his chest. I rested my head there. Hearing the steady beat of his heart. He kissed the top of my head. ‘Shall I make us both a coffee? We can talk then.’
I appreciated that he gave me some space to get things clear in my head without having to launch into what happened unprepared.
While he waited for the kettle to boil he went outside to tell Paddy they wouldn’t be leaving just yet.
I could see Paddy nod and head over in the direction of Grainger’s lodge..
Oliver came back in, made our drinks and sat down on the sofa next to me, placing the cups on the table. He put his arm around me and again kissed the top of my head. I stayed there. It was easier to speak if I wasn’t looking at him.
‘A couple of years ago, when I was in the army, we were on a training weekend. Simulating battle traumas and rescues. We were in a helicopter, lifting a casualty to hospital across this lake. The helicopter had just taken off when there was a mechanical failure, and we ended up in the water.’
‘Fuck.’
‘We all got out, but one of the officers had swallowed a lot of water. Basically, he’d drowned. His heart had stopped. I performed CPR and mouth-to-mouth on him on the banks of the lake successfully.’
‘You saved his life.’
‘Yeah.’
I sat up as the memory of the accident appeared in my mind’s eye. I could feel the warmth of Oliver’s hand resting lightly on my back. His thumb gently caressed me.
‘After the incident, the officer came to thank me personally for saving his life. He seemed like a really genuine person. We hit it off and started seeing each other. We weren’t in the same chain of command.
We were equal in terms of seniority at that point.
A few weeks into our relationship, I started to feel claustrophobic.
Something had shifted and I didn’t like it.
I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time.
He was attentive. Too attentive. Insistent on things being done his way.
You know where this is going, don’t you?’
‘Controlling,’ said Oliver.
‘Yeah. And that will never end well. So I ended the relationship.’
‘How did that go?’
‘You can probably work it out yourself. But just so you know, he didn’t want to end it. He appeared to accept it at first, but then he started making life difficult for me. It was a shit-show in the end. I left the army because of it.’
I still couldn’t quite bring myself to tell Oliver everything. But I hoped I had given him enough for now.
‘And you think this is him? The photos? The flowers?’ Oliver asked matter-of-factly. Not in a way that suggested he didn’t believe me. In his methodical way, he approached everything.
‘I don’t know who else it could be.’ That was the truth. ‘But I don’t know what he’s hoping to gain by doing it.’
Oliver didn’t say anything for a long time. I waited. I knew he was weighing it all up.
‘If you want, I can make some discreet enquiries and see if we can find out who sent the flowers. And maybe where the letter was sent from. It’s your call.’
‘I don’t want to sit here and do nothing. I know I was on the brink of running, but that was my knee-jerk reaction. It’s what I’ve always done.’
‘I know. But it hasn’t stopped it from finding you here, so now we confront it. We head it off. We get proactive. You just say the word.’
I knew he was right. I’d always known that was the only way to deal with it, but I’d never had the resources to do so before. Following me here to Risk meant I could never escape. If I were found here, I would be found wherever I went.
‘I thought I could outrun it,’ I said.
‘It’s a temporary fix.’
‘Okay,’ I said at last.
Oliver took out his phone. ‘What’s his name?’
I hesitated. I hadn’t said his name out loud in a long time. Oliver was watching me.
He passed me his phone. ‘Type it in if you prefer.’
I added the name to Oliver’s notes app.
Captain Samuel Henderson, RAMC, Aldershot. Promoted to Major 2 years ago.
‘Don’t do anything without checking with me first,’ I said, handing the phone back to him.
He paused for a second before he replied. ‘I won’t.’
‘Thank you.’
I knew agreeing to that wasn’t easy for Oliver. He wasn’t the sort of man who stood back and waited to be invited to solve a problem. But he was doing it for me, and that held more meaning than he could know.
Oliver put his phone down on the table, put it on speaker and made a call. I saw the screen with Dom’s name on it. His brother answered in three rings.
‘All right?’ came Dom’s voice through the speaker.
‘I need you to run a name for me. Samuel Henderson.’ He reeled off the details I’d given him. ‘Find out what he’s doing now and where he is.’
‘Anything I need to worry about right now?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Copy that.’
Oliver ended the call.
‘Dom was special forces. Ten years. He’s got contacts everywhere.’
‘Makes sense.’ I checked my watch. ‘I’m not trying to get rid of you, but shouldn’t you be going?’
‘In theory.’
‘Oliver… I don’t need you to babysit me. I’ll be fine on my own. Besides Paddy and Grainger are here. And Dom is here soon with the new members of staff. I’ll be fine.’
‘I’ll get Dom and the new lads up here tomorrow.’
I raised my eyebrows. ‘That’s short notice.’
‘All part of the job. To be honest, I’d sooner be here myself.’
‘I know. But you can’t just drop everything. You’ve got Noah to think about.’
He let out a sigh. ‘Yeah. You’re right. I just…’
‘Just like to be in control.’
‘Not in that way.’
I smiled. ‘I know. Now go back to London. Noah will be expecting to see you.’
Oliver got to his feet. ‘Ring me if you’re at all worried about anything.’
‘I will.’
‘I mean it. Anything. Any time. Day or night.’
‘Oliver.’ I kissed him just to stop him talking. The tension I’d been holding eased as I deepened the kiss. He responded, pulling me closer to him. I really didn’t want him to go. My body certainly didn’t. ‘When is your flight?’
‘Whenever I want it to be,’ he replied between kisses.
I’m not sure what part of me needed Oliver first. My mind or my body. My hand found its way under his jumper and t-shirt, before sliding up to his chest. Oliver let out a small groan.
‘This is unfair distraction tactics.’
‘You either need to be distracted or leave and let me distract myself,’ I said, finding the buckle of his belt.
He pulled his head back. ‘That would not be gentlemanly of me.’
‘But I don’t want you to be a gentleman.’ God I needed him in a physical way. I was already wet just thinking about him.
‘You sure?’
‘Never been more so.’
In one swift movement, he had picked me up, his hands under my arse.
I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me through to the bedroom.
He sat me down on the bed and stood in front of me.
He whipped off his jumper and t-shirt, while I unfastened his belt and jeans.
Then I lay back on the bed and began to undo mine.
We maintained eye contact as I slipped my jeans off. He was already out of his clothing, naked once more before me. God, he was beautiful. He held his cock, moving his hand slowly back and forth as I undressed.
‘Leave your panties on,’ he said, his voice gruff.
I slipped my hand down the front of them and began rubbing my clit and pushing my finger inside me. I was so wet, my fingers just slipped in and out.
‘Fuck me,’ I said. ‘I need you to fuck me.’
He climbed on the bed and lay down next to me, his hand sliding down over mine inside my underwear as he kissed me. His tongue finding mine. His hands moved to my hips, as if he was about to move me on top of him. ‘Come here,’ he said, his voice thick with desire.
I pulled back. ‘You on top.’
He paused, his gaze holding mine, as if checking with me. I nodded. Then he rolled over on top of me, supporting his weight with his hands either side of my head.
I reached down, pulling my panties to the side, lifting my hips and circling them around the end of his cock. ‘I need you.’
As he slid into me, I knew this was more than just sex. This was me pushing back at whoever was trying to get to me. They couldn’t take my free will from me. This was giving a bit more of myself to Oliver. Giving him permission to help me.