TWENTY-THREE #2
The one when he was pissed off and silently seething.
My skin prickled with goosebumps. He glanced around to make sure no one was paying him any attention before looking back at me and slowly shook his head.
Oliver turned towards me with a cup in each hand. His knuckles on both hands were sore and red. Whatever he’d done, he hadn’t done it fixing fences.
He handed me the cup.
I took it but remained standing. I wasn’t about to sit around a table with Henderson there.
‘There’s banana loaf if anyone wants it,’ I said. ‘Apparently Grainger’s been singing my praises about it.’
Both Grainger and Henderson wandered over with their drinks. Grainger casually stepped around the back of Henderson and stood next to me.
‘I’ve heard a lot about this banana loaf,’ said Henderson. ‘Can I put in a special request?’
I sensed Oliver tensing, but he said nothing.
‘Sorry. I don’t do requests,’ I said. I took a sip of my drink and turned to Grainger. ‘How’s the ankle?’
‘Well, I was going to speak to you about that,’ said Grainger. ‘It’s a bit swollen today.’
‘Swollen? Badly?’ I asked. ‘I should look at it.’
‘Yeah. That’s what I thought,’ said Grainger. ‘You got five minutes?’
‘Now? Yes.’ I put my cup down. ‘Your lodge?’
Grainger was already moving, and I followed him out of the canteen barn and over to his lodge, noting how well he was moving for someone with a sore ankle.
We went inside his lodge, and Grainger sat down, took off his boot and sock, before placing his foot up on the sofa. I went over and inspected his ankle.
‘Doesn’t look very swollen to me,’ I said.
‘Well, would you look at that, it’s gone down,’ said Grainger. ‘You probably don’t need to examine at it after all.’
‘Oh, I think I do,’ I said, kneeling at the side of the sofa. I began a physical examination of the ankle which absolutely was not swollen. ‘Does that hurt?’
‘No.’
‘That?’ I applied pressure around the ankle and foot.
‘Nope. Told you, it’s all good now.’
‘What about this?’ I pinched a hair on his ankle. He yelped and pulled his foot away. ‘You deserved that.’ I stood up. ‘If you just wanted to get me alone, you should have said.’
‘Maybe you should let the boss know I’m all right. Don’t want him fussing.’
‘Yeah, maybe I should.’ I washed my hands at the sink. ‘I’ll see you later.’ I paused with my hand on the doorknob. ‘Thanks, Grainger.’
‘You can thank me by baking something other than banana loaf.’
I made my way over to the canteen barn, but before I got there, Oliver emerged.
‘How’s Grainger?’ he asked.
‘Nothing to worry about,’ I replied. A small silence settled for a moment, and my gaze rested on Oliver’s knuckles. ‘What did you do to your hands?’
‘Punch bag.’
Another small silence. I didn’t know what I was waiting for, but if it was for Oliver to expand, it seemed I was going to be waiting a long time.
‘Do you want to talk?’ I asked.
I could see the relief on his face, and his shoulders visibly relaxed. ‘Yes.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I over-reacted. I was out of order. I’m sorry I put you in that position.’
I liked that he didn’t say he did it for me, when I knew that in part was the reason. He wasn’t trying to justify his actions. He was simply apologising. He knew he’d messed up.
‘I understand why you did it,’ I said. ‘But I’m used to holding my own.’
‘I know that. I got it wrong. I mean it when I say I’m sorry.’
‘I need you to stand beside me, not in front of me.’
He studied me for a moment. ‘I know that too.’
Before I could reply, a movement from behind Oliver caught my attention. It was Henderson coming out of the canteen barn. I watched his face harden as he saw us.
‘I’m ready when you are, Boss.’ He sauntered over with his hands in his pockets, standing expectantly beside Oliver.
‘Thanks, Alex,’ said Oliver, adopting his business tone. ‘If you can get back to me on that with your final assessment, we can work out how to move forward on it.’
‘No problem. A few teething problems to iron out, but I think it’s worth persevering. I’d really like to, anyway. It’s my passion project.’
I saw the corner of Oliver’s mouth twitch in amusement.
‘Yeah, mine too,’ he replied.
I headed back to my lodge before I gave the game away as a wide grin broke across my face.
Even looking at the mess I’d left the kitchen in couldn’t dampen my spirits. I hummed along to the radio as I set about tidying. The radio station was unusually playing some hits from when I was a teenager.
It wasn’t long before order had been restored in the kitchen. I picked up my phone and googled some recipes, just to prove to Grainger I wasn’t a one-trick pony when it came to baking.
I didn’t register it at first as the radio presenter was talking between songs. But something he said made me stop scrolling. I looked towards the radio.
He’d said, “Welcome to Y2K Radio.’
Another tune from the 2000s began playing. I stood upright and went over to the radio. I never listened to that station. I was a Radio 2 listener.
My hand shook a little as I tilted the radio so I could read the digital display. Y2K Radio filled the screen. I snatched my hand away as if the radio were burning hot.
I backed away, my eyes staring at it while Avril Lavigne blasted out “Complicated”.
I tried to rationalise it. Had I changed station at any point? I was certain it wasn’t me. Would it have been Oliver when he was here, and I just hadn’t noticed until today? I wanted it to be that option because the alternative didn’t bear thinking about.
I went into the bedroom and looked at my bags on the floor.
It was hard to push down the urge to pick up the holdall and rucksack and just leave. But I’d made up my mind I was going to stay and finish whatever it was with Henderson, and I intended to do just that. It wasn’t just about me anymore.
My phone pinged a message and made me jump. It was Oliver.
Can I see you before I go?
Before he went. Something in my chest shifted at the words.
I didn’t want him to go, I knew that. But whether I wanted him to stay simply because it was him or for what he represented.
Safety. Someone between me and what I was running from.
They felt the same but probably weren’t, and I couldn’t tell right now.
I messaged back.
I’d like that.