Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
It’s move-in day on campus, which means the quad I visited last semester with Mom is now packed with more students, furniture, and boxes than I thought possible. People dart around like ants, moving quickly and with purpose in lines on their way to their dorms.
“Will, I think you’re this way,” Margie says, holding the paper she printed off the computer this morning with move-in instructions.
“Yup,” he says, then opens his mouth and burps obnoxiously.
I fan the air. “You’re a pig.”
“Oink oink, baby.” He winks at me.
Margie pats Mom’s arm with a look that says they’re nearly free of the two of us. “I’ll get him settled in, and then I’ll come see Opal’s dorm. We’ll get an October Dog from Frank’s before we leave.”
“Did you remember your stuffed bunny, Opie?” Will teases, already walking away.
I scowl, and when they’re far enough away, I say, “I should’ve gone somewhere else.”
Mom draws her brows down, lips pressed together as she analyzes me. “Your plan was always to go to Havenport. How can you say that?”
I stomp my foot, a petulant toddler. “Because he ruins everything, Mom. I know you, Margie, and Ruth went here. I know it means a lot to all of us, but my god, I can’t get away from him. It isn’t enough that he’s always there at home? Now I can’t even escape him when I leave.”
“Escape him? Oh, honey.” She throws an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against her side as we walk.
“I know you and Will haven’t always gotten along, but you’ll be glad you have him one day.
When I’m gone. Will and Cory are your family, you know?
The closest thing you’ll have someday, anyway.
Besides, it’s a big campus. There’s a good chance you’ll never see him. ”
“Somehow, I doubt that. He’s like death. He follows. He lurks.”
She kisses my head through a laugh. “That’s a bit dramatic. It’s not going to be as bad as you think, I promise. Now, where’s Jess? Is she already here?”
My new roommate. I met her at orientation. Her dad owns a restaurant near campus, and Mom spent most of the ride home complaining that he never once looked up from his phone. “Her dad dropped her off this morning. She’s already upstairs unpacking.”
Mom gives a look of disapproval, like it’s proving her point. I ignore it, jogging up ahead with the two oversized bags of my clothes.
When we reach the dorm, Mom and I are both out of breath. Jess has the door propped open, and she sees us before we enter the room.
“Hey, roomie. Hey, Mrs. S.” She moves to open the door wider, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Jess is literally the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Tan skin, chocolate-brown eyes, dark and wavy hair, a perfect smile. It’s hard not to feel plain around her.
“They haven’t changed much, looks like,” Mom says, staring around the room as we get further inside.
The dorm is smaller than a hotel room, with two twin beds pushed against the opposing wall and a small bit of walkway in between them.
Each bed has a desk at its foot, and we share a nightstand between us.
She plops the box in her arms on the mattress and begins unpacking my bedding.
“Did you see what they’ve got planned for Welcome Week?
” Jess pulls out a folder, then drags a stack of papers out of it, flipping until she’s found what she was looking for.
I drop my bags and move toward her, resting against her bed while we scan the listed events.
“Mostly just icebreaker stuff, but there’s a food truck party tonight and then a concert on Saturday. I haven’t heard of the band.”
“Go to everything,” Mom suggests. “Trust me. You’ll be glad you did. Attend every event possible. Be the most social you’ve ever been. You’ll be exhausted by the time it’s over, so tired you feel it in your bones, but the connections you make will matter.”
“This is where Mom met her two besties,” I explain, not looking up. “So she’s a bit evangelical about it.”
Jess smiles. “I plan on dragging her to everything, Mrs. S. Don’t worry.”
Mom smooths my comforter and sets to work on my pillowcase. “Good. You should leave your door open when you’re here, too. For the first week or so. It’ll give you a chance to meet your dormmates. And stop by any open door. Don’t just wait for people to introduce themselves.”
“Mom,” I say, my voice low, cheeks warming. “We’ve got it, okay? You’ve already told me all of this.”
“I know.” Finished with the bed, Mom sits down on the edge.
“I’m sorry, I’m just excited for you. Havenport was such a magical place for me.
One of those periods that you look back over and realize you should’ve appreciated it more, that life would never be good in that way again.
You girls are about to have the best time of your lives.
” Her eyes twinkle with the truth of it, and she turns her head, searching for a distraction.
“Do you want help hanging up your clothes? We should put them away.” She stands, and so do I.
“It’s okay, Mom. I’ve got it. You should go find Margie.”
“But—”
“Mom.”
Her lips curl into a soft smile, and I know she sees the tears I’m trying not to let fall.
The brave face I’m forcing. As scared as she is to let me go, I’m scared too.
She rests a hand on my shoulder. “Oh, all right. You’re right.
I’m starving anyway.” She pulls me into a long hug, stroking my back.
Then she says, “Okay. Okay. I’m going. Have fun.
Be safe. Call me. Every Saturday, remember? ”
“Every Saturday,” I vow.
“I love you.”
“Love you.” My voice cracks, and my cheeks flame. I cannot cry in front of Jess.
And with that, she’s gone.
And I’m officially on my own. Well, except…
Except Will Kendricks is somewhere on this campus, breathing my air. Existing. Ruining.
I tell myself it won’t matter. This college is big enough to swallow him whole, and if I’m lucky, maybe it’ll do just that. Within this place, I can carve out a world that’s all mine. I can finally be the version of me that might exist without Will looming nearby.