23. Calvin
CALVIN
The second our lips collide, I feel like that preteen boy again.
Nerves rattle through me, and my hands tremble as my lips brush against hers tentatively.
Sienna has no idea, but she was my first kiss. And I’d be more than happy if she were my last, too.
Honestly, I’m expecting her to change her mind and rip the rug right out from under me.
But she doesn’t.
Instead, she lifts her arms, wraps them around my neck, and pulls me closer, kissing me harder. And I am fucking here for it.
Her purse and jacket hit the floor with a thud so that I can reach up and cup her jaw as my lips part, my tongue sneaking out to taste her.
I might have kissed more women than I can count over the years, but the second her tongue comes out to join mine, they’re all wiped away. Every other sexual encounter is forgotten. Every other woman no longer exists.
There was the kiss we shared that summer on our last night together, and then there’s this.
There’s nothing in between.
Just us.
My fingers sink into her hair, allowing me to tilt her head back a little more so I can deepen our kiss. The second I lick into her mouth, she lets out this little groan that hits me right in the dick.
I’m so fucking hard for her right now, it should be embarrassing. But I’ve been waiting for this for fifteen years, and it’s so much better than I thought it would be.
Time ceases to exist as she drags her tongue against mine, tasting me while I indulge in remembering everything about her.
The only thing that would make this better would be if she remembered too.
The need to tell her everything burns through me, but the fear of her being pissed at me for hiding it from the beginning is only growing, and it forces me to keep my mouth shut so I can indulge a little longer.
Her fingers sink into my hair, pulling at the too-long length at the nape of my neck as we devour each other.
One moment it feels like our kiss has lasted forever, and then, our lips part and I realize that it was nowhere near long enough.
I lean in to start all over again, but Sienna’s hand presses against my chest, stopping me.
I blink, trying to drag my head back to the here and now.
Big, dark gray eyes stare up at me, and when my gaze drops, I find her swollen lips glistening and oh-so tempting.
“Darlin’?”
She blinks at me, and I swear to God she’s putting all the pieces together.
Her lips part, and I’m convinced the game is up, that she’s about to rip me a new one for lying to her for months, but that’s not what happens. Instead, her mouth curls into a coy smile before she whispers, “Good night, Calvin.”
I stand there immobile as she bends down to collect her abandoned purse and jacket, and only seconds later, she’s got her key in her hand, and she’s pushing her front door open.
I snap out of my Sienna-induced trance just before she disappears into her apartment.
“Sweet dreams, darlin’,” I rasp, making her pause and look back at me.
The wicked glint in her eyes tells me exactly what she’s going to be dreaming about, and fuck if I don’t almost come in my pants right there and then.
I bite my tongue to stop myself from asking for an invite inside.
I meant what I said earlier: Sienna isn’t like the women I usually spend time with.
I don’t want her for tonight; I want her forever.
And somehow, I need to prove that to her, because no matter how many times I say the words, I don’t think she believes me.
I stand there long after her door has fallen closed and she’s flicked the lock. I can’t bring myself to walk away. But eventually, I give myself a talking to and head back toward the elevator.
My apartment feels colder and emptier than ever, which is stupid, since no one has been here besides the guys. But suddenly, my need to see her in my space is unignorable.
I walk through my apartment, ignoring my gym and going straight to my bedroom. Tonight, I don’t need to exhaust myself to force all my fears about my future from my head. I’m not even thinking about hockey or what the next steps in my career might look like. All I can see is her.
I strip down to my boxers, grab my cell, and crawl into bed with a smile.
The group chat with the guys is blowing up after their win tonight. It seems they’ve gone out to celebrate, and they’re already pretty drunk from the nonsense I’m reading. Especially from Linc.
“Fucking idiots,” I mutter before closing their chat and opening another one.
Marilyn: How’d the date go?
Calvin: Epic success.
As if he were waiting for me to reply instead of enjoying his night, the message is read instantly.
Marilyn: Oh yeah?
Calvin: You sound like you’re doubting me.
Marilyn: It’s just that dating is very different from what you usually do.
Calvin: I know how to treat a woman properly.
Marilyn: Good to know. So, is there going to be a second date?
Calvin: Abso-fucking-lutely.
Marilyn: Good night all round then.
Calvin: Too right. Congrats on the two assists tonight.
I’m proud of Hayden. He’s playing like the pro he is, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting. I hate that I feel so bitter about it. He deserves it. He’s a kickass D-man. I just…fuck. I’m just a selfish cunt who can’t deal with the reality that life has dealt me.
Marilyn: Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Any ideas for date number two?
Calvin: Yeah, I’ve got a few things in mind.
Marilyn: You know where I am if you need anything.
Calvin: Thanks, man. I’ll let you get back to celebrating.
Marilyn: You mean helping Parker get Linc home?
I chuckle, thinking of all the times we’ve had to do that for each other.
As much as I hate not being on the ice, I also miss hanging out with the guys. Being away from home all the time is hard, but they make it worth it. Every single time.
Calvin: Enjoy that.
I let my cell fall to my stomach for a few minutes as I run ideas around in my head for what I can do with Sienna next.
I know which one I want to do, but I don’t know if it’s too much too soon.
Surely, it’ll be the final clue she needs to work out who I am.
But…as much as I’m scared for her to discover the truth, I’m also desperate for her to know.
I want her to understand just how much she means to me. How I’ve never forgotten her.
Tugging my nightstand drawer open, I pull the album out again. I swear, I haven’t flicked through it this much since the day I put it together. But I can’t stop.
The second I find our picture, I don’t just stare at it; instead, I slip my finger inside the wallet and pull it free. Absently, I throw the album into the drawer and prop the photo of the two of us against my bedside lamp.
The happiness in her eyes draws me in, as does her easy smile.
She’s so happy here. It fucking wrecks me to know that not long after this was taken, she found herself subjected to bullies who made her think less of herself. No one should have the power to do that to anyone.
She was perfect then, and she still is now. Somehow, I’m going to help her see that.
I open a new tab on my cell and start browsing ideas for our next date. I’m lost in my research when a new message comes in. A wide smile spreads across my mouth at the name at the top of my screen.
She’s still thinking about me.
Sienna: Thank you for a great night.
I can’t wipe the grin off my face as I begin replying.
Calvin: You’re more than welcome. Already looking forward to the next time…
Sienna: Did you mean what you said earlier?
My heart slams against my ribs. I understand her reasons for doubting me.
I've never shown signs of wanting to date or settle down before, and from what I can tell, she’s been watching me pretty closely and is aware of the life I lead.
But if she’s been watching, why hasn’t she figured it out?
It’s not a secret where I’m from or what my life was like before hockey.
Maybe her stalking skills need some improvement—or maybe she’s an even better actress than I give her credit for and she’s known all this time.
No. That can’t be true. There would have been clues. I’d know if she knew.
Calvin: Every. Single. Word.
And I did. There’s only one woman I’ve ever wanted to date.
That I could see a future with. I thought that maybe I was clinging onto a memory that I’d built up to something it never was in my head over the years.
But now she’s here and standing right in front of me, I know that none of it was fake or just a part of my imagination.
Sienna Wentworth is the one for me. The only one for me.
Sienna: Then I’m looking forward to our next date.
“Fuck,” I breathe, suddenly feeling the pressure.
It needs to be perfect. It needs to be something worthy of her.
Of us.
Calvin: Me too. More than you know.
I quickly close out of the chat before she can reply and open another.
Calvin: I have a question.
Darcy: Shoot.
Calvin: Can I ride a horse?
The message is read, but it takes long seconds before I get a reply. And when it comes through, it’s not the slightest bit helpful.
Darcy: I don’t know, Killer. Can you ride a horse?
Calvin: Yes, I can ride a horse. Damn well, in fact. But am I allowed to ride a horse?
Darcy: I don’t know if I should be taking this conversation seriously or not.
“For fuck’s sake.” I laugh, aware that this is crazy as hell.
Calvin: I’m serious. In a few weeks, maybe a month, can I ride a horse?
I can only imagine what his expression looks like on the other end of this.
Darcy: I would never recommend any of my players to get on unpredictable animals…
Calvin: What if I told you that I can read their minds?
Darcy: I would still tell you that it’s a bad idea.
Calvin: Thanks for the advice, I’ll give it some serious consideration.
Darcy: I don’t know why you bothered asking.
Calvin: Because this conversation has been so much fun, don’t you think?
Going back to my previous conversation, I stare down at Sienna’s words, desperate not to end our evening yet, but I’m also cautious of pushing too hard.
Calvin: Are you in bed?
Sienna: Maybe. Are you?
Fuck it, maybe I can push a little.
Calvin: Yep, and thinking about you and that kiss…