46. Sienna
SIENNA
I’ve been on edge all day, and it’s because of Calvin this morning.
He was…he was weird. I get that going on a date when you’ve only ever been a fuckboy must be a little strange.
It would be normal for him to be nervous.
But it was more than that. Honestly, every time I’ve checked my cell today, I’ve been expecting to find a message from him canceling tonight.
I’ve spent all day with a heavy ball of dread sitting in my stomach, and I haven’t done a very good job of hiding it, either.
Lessy, Savvy, and Rachel believed it was just nerves. But Bea knew better. She could sense my unease, but because I have no idea what’s going on, it was hard to explain how I’m feeling.
And now that I’m standing here, waiting in my living room, the nerves are hitting even harder.
I still don’t know what we’re doing. The only clue I’ve been given is to wear warm clothes, and that doesn’t really narrow anything down. Maybe whatever we’re doing is going to be outside.
I’m wearing knee-length boots, thick leggings, a heavy knit sweater with a tank beneath it, and I’ve got my coat, scarf, and bobble hat. It’s overkill in LA, even in the winter, but I want to be prepared.
At 7 p.m. on the dot, my buzzer goes off, sending the butterflies I’m barely controlling in my stomach into chaos.
“It’s all going to be okay,” I tell myself.
Everything with Calvin has been surprising but easy so far. Other than his weird demeanor this morning, I have no reason to believe anything else.
After throwing my purse over my shoulder, I walk toward my front door and drag in a deep, calming breath before reaching for the handle.
My breath catches the second my eyes land on the man standing on the other side of my door.
He’s wearing a gray beanie hat with his long hair curling around the bottom of it, a black hoodie, and a pair of dark jeans.
I take a few seconds to appreciate the sight before I make my way back up to his face.
His chin is covered in a couple of days’ worth of scruff, his signature smirk is in place, and his eyes are dark and hungry.
Hungry for me.
My stomach knots and my thighs squeeze together, because despite whatever’s going on tonight, there’s one thing I can’t ignore.
I want him.
I always have.
But previously, I’d admired his hotness from a distance. And now, I know that the surface-level hotness I used to appreciate barely scratches the surface for just how incredible this man is. Getting to know him properly over the past few weeks has been nothing short of mind-blowing.
It’s also not enough.
“See something you like?” he taunts, his deep voice dripping with lust.
Maybe we should just stay in.
“Yeah,” I muse. “I think I do. Did you want to come in?” I ask, moving aside so he has space to enter.
“If I come inside now, there’s every chance we won’t end up going out,” he teases.
Is that such a bad thing?
It’s only been a few days since we’ve fooled around, but already, I’m desperate to experience it all over again.
“Later then?” I ask, my stomach a riot of nerves and excitement.
He reaches out, twists his fingers with mine, and tugs me forward until I collide with him.
Lifting his free hand, he brushes his knuckles softly across my cheek before tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“Later,” he promises before dropping his lips to mine.
It starts gently, but only a few seconds later, my tongue sneaks out, licking across his bottom lip. A deep groan rumbles in his throat.
“Addicted to you,” he mumbles into our kiss. “Could die kissing you and be a very happy man.”
His words have my heart dancing in my chest.
Our kiss continues for long seconds before he finally pulls back and gazes down at me through lidded, hungry eyes. I’ve never been more grateful for my quiet hallway as I stare up at him with my chest heaving.
“Ready to go?” he asks, recovering faster than me.
I know I’m ready for something.
Fire races to my cheeks at the thought, something Calvin doesn’t miss.
“Never stop blushing,” he murmurs. “It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
“One of?” I ask, hitching my purse higher on my shoulder before double-checking I’ve got my keys and letting my door fall closed behind me.
“Yeah,” he agrees as he leads me toward the elevator. “I’ve got a list. It’s getting really fucking long.”
“How are you so perfect?” I ask as we step into the enclosed space.
A self-deprecating laugh tumbles from his lips. “I’m far from that, darlin’.” A darkness I don’t like flashes in his eyes.
“You are to me.”
As if he can’t accept those words, he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine as we descend through the building.
I expect him to say something, but when the doors open, he takes my hand and steps out as if none of that happened.
Then he’s leading me through the parking garage. It doesn’t escape my notice how much easier he’s moving these days. He really is making incredible progress. Or at least, to my untrained eye, he seems to be.
“M-my car,” I stutter when he continues walking past it.
“We don’t need it tonight.”
“We don’t?” I ask.
He hasn’t been able to drive this whole time. Does this mean…
I glance over in time to see him pull a single key from his pocket.
“Calvin?” I whisper.
He presses an unlock button, and a car a few spaces away lights up.
“Fancy,” I tease as we move toward the electric-blue Mercedes. I have no idea what model it is, but one look tells me that it’s worth more than every car I’ve ever owned put together.
He walks straight to the passenger door and pulls it open.
“There you go, darlin’.”
But despite him holding the door open, I don’t move to get in. Instead, I slide my hands up his chest before resting my arms over his shoulders.
“So, your appointment went well this afternoon?”
“About as good as it could. They’re happy with my progress.”
I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my lips.
“That’s awesome. You’ll be back on the ice before you know it.”
“You’ll still be there, right?” he asks, cupping my jaw.
“I’ll be there,” I promise.
“Wearing my jersey?”
I nod, my smile growing. “Wearing your jersey.”
“Promise?”
I frown, my eyes bouncing between his. I hate the doubt I see there, and it only brings back the unease I’ve been fighting all day.
“Calvin, are you sure you’re—”
“Do you promise, Sienna?”
I’m sure panic flashes through his blue eyes at the thought of me not being there for his return to the ice.
“Yeah. I promise. No matter what, I’ll be there.”
His shoulders relax, and he leans in to steal a quick kiss before instructing me to get in.
It feels so weird sitting in the passenger seat, and it only gets weirder when he climbs in beside me and wraps his hands around the steering wheel.
Holy hell, that’s hot.
“I’ve hated you having to drive us everywhere,” he admits as he presses the start button and puts the car into drive.
“Aw, you loved being a passenger princess and you know it,” I tease.
“I prefer you being my passenger princess,” he states, reaching over to rest his hand on my thigh as he effortlessly navigates us out of the garage and onto the street.
A smile twitches at my lips, warmth from his palm spreading through me.
“Where are we going?” I ask once we’ve been driving for over an hour, even though I know he isn’t going to tell me.
“You’re not very good with surprises, are you?” he teases.
“What gave me away?”
“You hungry?” he rasps.
“Kinda, yeah.”
With one hand holding the wheel tightly, he reaches behind my seat before revealing a grocery bag.
“What’s this?”
“Appetizer,” he states.
I study his profile as he continues driving, heat simmering just under the surface.
“Keep looking at me like that, and I’ll start thinking I’m the only thing you want in your mouth.”
My chin drops as a shocked squeak spills from my lips.
“I…uh…I…”
“I’m teasing, darlin’.”
“Maybe I’m not. I’ve never given anyone a blowjob while they were driving before.”
“Motherfucker,” he grunts as he tugs at his jeans.
I can’t help but giggle at his over-the-top reaction.
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” I ask, continuing to ignore the bag in favor of him.
“How much I want you. How much you turn me on. Just thinking about you drives me wild.”
My face heats again.
Sure, I’ve had men say all kinds of stuff to me before, but I’ve never believed it in the way I do when Calvin says these things.
“The feeling is pretty mutual,” I confess as he twists our fingers together.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Silence falls between us for a few minutes, and when Calvin next speaks, he surprises me all over again.
“I never thought I’d find this,” he confesses quietly. “I know what everyone thinks of me. Fuckboy who won’t ever settle down. But that’s not true.”
“I know,” I assure him.
“I mean, I…yeah, I hooked up with a lot of women. But that was only because I never found one I wanted to spend more time with. If I’m being honest, most of them annoyed me, and the less time I spent with them, the better.
They only wanted me for one thing. And yeah, I guess you could say the same of me.
But I knew things would change if I were ever to meet you. ”
“Me?” I squeak.
“Yeah,” he confirms as he turns to look at me. “You. Everything changed the moment you came into my life.”
He works his jaw as he turns back to focus on the road. I sense there’s so much more he wants to say, but he’s holding back.
Allowing him the time he needs to process his thoughts, I dive into the bag to see what kind of food he packed.
“The mystery continues,” I muse as I pull out an array of fancy picnic food.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I got everything.”
“And this is just the appetizer?” I ask, staring down at the food in my lap. Sausage rolls, samosas, olives, chorizo, sushi. He’s not lying; I’m pretty sure he did buy everything.
“Yeah, there’s more in the trunk.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “So we are going for a picnic.”
He glances over with a smirk on his face. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”
“Nighttime picnic in December is a little left field, I gotta say.”
“Maybe. But it’s going to be worth it,” he assures me.
It’s forty-five minutes before I start to get a good idea about where we’re going, and it only confirms my picnic idea.
But…but why? Why out of everything are we in Joshua Tree National Park after dark on a Friday night?
“Are you meant to be driving down this track?” I ask, unable to ignore the fact that we’ve missed numerous parking lots.
“I called in a favor.”
“Of course you did,” I tease.
“If my leg wasn’t fucked, we’d walk, but that isn’t an option right now, and I really wanted to bring you out here,” Calvin explains before he pushes the door open and climbs out.
Without thinking, I do the same, and he growls at me when he rounds the trunk and discovers I didn’t wait for him.
He shakes his head and pops the trunk, letting me see everything he’s organized for this date.
“How far have we got to carry all this?”
“Not very.”
“Uh…”
“Can you take the blanket? Don’t worry, it’s heated.”
I nod and tuck the fabric under my arm before following him.