55. Sienna
SIENNA
The look in Calvin’s eyes as he delivers that line—hell, everything he’s said since we sat down—tugs at my heart.
He might be brave enough to openly tell me that I’m the only one he’s ever seen a future with, and while I might keep the words locked inside, it’s safe to say the feeling is mutual.
Every guy I’ve ever gotten close to has been compared to him. To that incredibly sweet boy who made me laugh for two blissful weeks.
But as the years went on, I started to believe it was all a figment of my imagination, and that guys weren’t really like that.
But it’s real. He’s real. Sure, he’s made some mistakes, but who hasn’t?
“I swear to you, darlin’, I never touched or even considered touching another woman last night. Speak to the guys. Call Hailee. They’ll all say the same thing—that I spent the night pining after you and drowning my sorrows that the guy who took me out of action is about to step into my barn.”
“Nash won’t replace you. He could never replace you.”
“No, he’s replacing Brody. Which, in all honesty, isn’t a great loss. It’s clear that Monroe was the one taking the weight on our second line. Without him, Brody is floundering. Nash will certainly mix things up.”
“Do you think they’ll put him on the first line with Rett?” I ask, unable to stop myself from diving headfirst into a safer conversation.
“If I were Coach, no. Individually, they’re both fierce grinders. You don’t want them on the ice at the same time. Rett and Monroe are perfect. Nash and—”
“You?” I ask, skipping ahead a few months.
He grimaces, still struggling to imagine a time when he’s back on the ice.
“Or maybe you’ll be back with Rett, and Nash will play with Monroe.”
“Maybe,” he mumbles as I pull his second hand from the bowl and give it the same treatment as the first.
“Whatever your GM and Coach have planned, I’m sure it’ll work out.”
“As long as Kodie doesn’t kill him first.”
“Did he say anything more about what happened between them?” I ask, just as curious as everyone else about the feud between them.
“Nope. He was just pissed. Kodie isn’t a talker at the best of times; he’s a locked vault when he’s pissed off.”
When I press down on the muscle between his thumb and forefinger, he groans just like he did before.
It’s the most erotic sound I’ve heard for a while.
My thighs squeeze together, and I squirm on the chair, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Calvin.
“I love having your hands on me,” he tells me.
I don’t say anything in response for fear I might confess something I’m not ready to yet.
“Have dinner with me before you leave for your parents’,” he blurts, filling the silence.
“Calvin,” I warn.
“I’m not brushing over everything and pretending it’s all good. I just…I need to see you before you go. I want to prove to you that everything I’ve said is true.”
“I don’t really have any time. I’m working late every night. The only evening the salon is closed is so we can have our own Christmas party.”
“So we’ll have a late dinner after you’ve finished.”
I stare at him, desperately wanting to agree, but also terrified that he’ll sweep me back into his orbit without me realizing.
Would that be such a bad thing?
“When are you going out with the girls?”
“Saturday night. And I fly out on Sunday.”
He nods, realizing he’s running out of time.
“Thursday night?”
“I have clients until nine.”
“I’ll cook. I’ll have it ready for you the second you get in. You can wear your pajamas if you like, and then go straight to bed after.”
He does make it sound tempting.
“At my apartment,” he adds.
“Oh?” I’d be lying if I said that didn’t pique my interest. I’m dying to see his place, to see if it’ll help me figure out a few more pieces of the Vinny/Calvin puzzle.
“Yeah. It’s about time you came up.”
I should say no. I promised myself I’d hold him off until the new year. That I’d give myself this time to think about everything that’s happened and make a well-thought-out, rational decision about my future.
But sitting here now, staring into his eyes, all I want to do is say yes.
I’ve missed him so much. I’ve missed out on evenings together, watching him cook, eating his food. I’ve missed snuggling up with him in bed and waking up beside him the next morning.
But he lied to you.
I shake that thought off.
“Okay,” I finally say.
His lips twitch, but he doesn’t allow himself to smile. Not yet. “Yeah?”
I take a moment before I agree, soaking in the hope and happiness that are glittering in his eyes.
“Yeah.”
There’s the smile. It’s so wide it lights up his eyes. It’s a smile that the rest of the world doesn’t see. They get the cocky smirk. That smile…that’s just for me.
It makes me feel special in a way I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.
It stays on his lips as I clip his nails and finish his manicure.
“There, you’re all done. What do you think?”
“Beautiful,” he states without looking at his hands, his focus purely on me. “And the best manicure I’ve ever had.”
“The only manicure you’ve ever had?”
“It would still be the best, no matter what.”
I shake my head at him as I begin tidying up.
“What now?” I ask, nerves starting to flutter in my stomach.
I may have agreed to dinner, but that’s two days away.
Is he just going to leave now?
“I got a rideshare here. I was hoping that maybe I could drive you home?”
Alarm bells ring, but I easily ignore them. I’m not ready for our time to be over yet.
“Okay,” I whisper.
I suddenly realize how tense he is when his entire body deflates and he slumps in the chair.
My chest aches. I’m not the only one who’s been hurting.
The need to reach for him burns through me, but I keep my arms locked at my sides.
“I’ll just tidy up. I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes,” I say as I begin moving around the room, putting products back on shelves. His eyes follow me everywhere, ensuring goose bumps prick my skin, and my blood heats.
“Can I help with anything?”
“No,” I say a little too forcefully. “Sorry, I—I’ll be right back.”
I rush out of the room like the hounds of hell are chasing me, and it’s not until the staff room door closes behind me that I take a breath.
“Fucking hell.”
I pull my cell out as I walk across the room and discover messages from my best friend.
Bea: I’m sorry, but you two need to talk.
Bea: Call me later x
I shake my head at her antics, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a small smile on my face.
Sure, Calvin and I might have a few things to work through, but seeing him made me realize just how much I’ve missed him.
I grab all my things, and I’m back in the salon in record time.
I find Calvin staring at the wall of photos we’ve been building since Bea started this place.
“You love your job,” Calvin comments, his eyes moving from image to image of us all laughing and joking together on nights out.
“Yeah, I do. But it’s the others that really make it. We’ve got a great little family here.”
“I can understand that,” he says, turning to me.
His eyes find mine before he lets them trail all the way down to my toes.
Fire licks inside me, and when his eyes find mine again, they’re blazing just as hot.
I swallow nervously but find myself stepping closer to him.
His lips twitch, but his smile doesn’t quite emerge as he reaches for my hand.
I might have been touching him for the last thirty minutes or so, but that was work. I didn’t feel the sparks shoot up my arm like I do now.
My breath catches as he twists our fingers together and tugs me closer.
Only an inch remains between our bodies, and the heat radiating from him burns in the best kind of way.
I stare up at him, my heart beating erratically in my chest, my temperature soaring.
His eyes bounce between mine as he rolls his lips between his teeth like he’s stopping himself from saying something.
Time stretches on and no words are said. They’re not needed.
The silence in this moment is enough. All the things we’re not saying wrap around us, and it takes all my self-control not to close that final inch and step straight into his body so I can feel his strong arms wrap around me like the most comforting blanket.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers finally.
It’s so soft, so quiet that if I weren’t this close, I probably wouldn’t have heard it.
“I know,” I whisper back.
“I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know,” I repeat.
There’s nothing but regret and pain in the depths of his eyes.
“I need you, darlin’. I had no idea how hard I was fighting until you came back into my life. It was like I was finally able to breathe again. Last night, after hearing the news…all I wanted was to come home to you. Knowing I couldn’t fucking killed me.”
Emotion burns the backs of my eyes. I hate that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.
Hell, I’ve hated that he hasn’t been there for me when I needed him, but I’m aware that I’m the one who kept him away.
He messaged me every day. He apologized over and over again.
He was there, literally right above my head a lot of the time, but I kept the door closed.
I’m starting to realize now that I was hurting myself more than anything.
I drag in a deep, ragged breath before whispering, “I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m right here.”
His breath tickles over my face as he exhales. Then he leans down and rests his forehead against mine, never once breaking our eye contact.
“Just you, darlin’. The only thing I need in life is you.”
A few more seconds pass before he finally speaks again.
“Come on, let’s get you home,” he says, taking a step back, although he doesn’t release my hand until we’re standing out the front of the salon so I can lock up.
The second we get to my car, he pulls open the passenger seat and gestures for me to climb in.
“I’m driving you home, remember?” he rasps when I stare up at him with a frown wrinkling my brow.
Unable to argue, I do as I’m told, and the moment he’s joined me and pulled onto the street, he reaches over and reclaims my hand.
We drive in silence, but it’s comfortable and everything I didn’t know I needed.
By the time we pull up into the parking garage, my eyes are heavy, and the effort it’s going to take to get up to my apartment seems a little too much. But Calvin isn’t about to let me sleep in my car, and he tugs me out, wraps his arm around my shoulder, and takes me right to my door.
“Thank you for not kicking me out earlier. Thank you for listening to me.”
I stand there with my keys in my hand, hit with a sense of déjà vu of times gone by.
The temptation to allow him in is strong, but I’m not forgetting everything that happened because of an apology and a few sweet words.
“I’ll see you Thursday night?” I say, forcing myself to do the right thing.
A smile lights up his face. “I can’t wait. See you soon, darlin’.”