Chapter 22
KENNA
I haven’t seen Laney all day.
Even when she held a knife to my throat, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman alive. A sentiment I knew I was itching to tell. My knee bounced in trepidation at the thought, but deep down, I knew it was fantasy. She told me to leave.
It’s strange. For my entire life, I lived without attachments. Even the older woman I bedded was a play, a strategy to find relief in that dull house. Still hurt when she used me too, but I got over it. It was always a means to an end.
This, however. Laney, however. Was something more.
My blood drummed in her presence. Be it last night at the threat of her violence or in that dark school bathroom, we were shaped from the same thought. Mother forbade me from crying, but wetness collected in my eye, drawing a path down my cheek as I stood in the courtyard that meant so much to her.
I had to fix it. But to do that, I had to strip bare. The Ravencrofts didn’t deserve such candour, but Laney did as she always had with me.
A sharp trill erupted from my back pocket. When I pulled the burner phone out to see the caller ID, I audibly groaned.
“For Fuck’s sake,” I muttered but wanted to scream.
I stepped into the woods to find a quiet area. After twenty minutes of crunching leaves under my boots, I sat on a tree stump and returned her call.
“Leave me alone.”
“Kilina! That’s no way to speak to your mother. What’s the fucking hold up?”
“Nothing.” I said, my voice reminiscent of my teenage self. “It’s a waiting game. You know this.”
“No, you’re a sharpshooter, Kk. Get your head up from between her legs long enough to do it.”
God fucking dammit, Sorren. Who else had he told?
“Don’t get distracted like you did last time or so help me God, I won’t trust you again–”
“I killed her, didn’t I? Job done. What more do you want?” My heart raced. “And what about your trust? This was my operation.”
“Your brother killed Edward in three days of surveillance.” Somehow, I didn’t believe he did it. It was too neat to be one of us. Karsteins always threw a stick in the mud before we made our mark, we were stubborn, and we wanted to be known. I was taught to hate the Ravencrofts at the same time that I was taught my ABCs, we didn’t allow a single bullet mercy to be the final demise for Edward Ravencroft. It was too easy.
“A two up, two down house in the Scottish Highlands is a different ballpark to an entire estate, mamma. This place is crawling with cameras.”
“And he did it all alone.”
“So can I! Trust me.” I pulled the phone from my ear and aligned the microphone with my mouth as I gritted out, “There are others here. Why?”
“Because. “Your” operation got derailed by a girl.” I wanted to interject, but she didn’t give me the chance. “The daughter must be real cute, huh? She wasn’t before. Puberty hit her hard?”
I stayed silent and shook my head repeatedly.
She only laughed. “Typical, Kilina. Wait until I tell your father that it’s true. And he wanted to believe in you.”
I ignored her. “Get these other men out of my operation, mother.”
“I sent one in for reconnaissance before you arrived, sure, it’s not my fault you got so slow I had to send in back-up. That’s on you. Sloppy fucking operation, your father taught you better than this . Does this name mean nothing to you? ”
“It means everything.” I conceded. “But trust me. I can do it.”
“Edward Ravencroft’s funeral has been scheduled.”
“Yeah, I know, there’s a whole procession in town.”
“Don’t let me down.”
“Won’t.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.” I hung up.
When I departed from the darkness of the woods, Sorren was there waiting for me. I gave him the cold shoulder, but still threw a punch into his side as I passed for good measure. He worked under me. Don’t get it twisted.
But like a good puppy dog, he followed me inside the house. Round each corner. All the way to the family kitchen away from the other soldiers. Laney showed me it one night when she had a midnight craving for red velvet cake. I was shocked they had some. I wasn’t used to this rich people world.
After I found some day-old pasta in the fridge, I plopped down at the secluded table in the corner. “Look, who got let out the dog cage.” He didn’t find it funny, but I did.
He sat across from me before he spoke. “Kenna, they know.”
“No.” I lifted a fork in his face. “They think they know. I’m not in handcuffs yet. Unlike you.” No, you stared down the barrel of a gun.
“You will be.” He said far too soberly for my lunchtime reflection. “And I was only there because I was slightly aggressive toward Forrester. Dumb fucker. ”
Couldn’t agree more. He deserved his fate.
“But look how fast they killed my brother after they found out. I didn’t get a goodbye.”
Perhaps, I should have been more sympathetic, but the snark refused to simmer down within me. He almost had me killed, but he knew my identity and he showed me that he wasn’t above disclosing sensitive information. “Did they even know you’re related?”
“No. And don’t tell them that.”
“Well, there you go then.” I mocked with my hands up. “And…I would never. That’s suicide. I’m not stupid.”
“Just…” He tried to find the words. “It’ll be too late once they realise. There’s chatter in the barracks. They’re looking for a traitor. Whether it's authenticated or not, they will shoot first and ask questions later.”
Oh, I know.
“I’ll be fine.” But I wasn’t fine. In moments like these I wanted a pair of arms around me. Usually, I wasn’t picky with who, but lately there’s only one person I’d like to hold me, and I haven’t seen her since last night.
After a long pause, Sorren noted a sombre truth I wished could be erased from my thoughts. “She can’t save you.”
In my bones, I knew it, but it was in my mind where twisted thoughts of a loving paradise were facing off with visions of romantic tragedy. I won’t betray my family. But I also can’t betray her.
I stared at the table and gently shook my head. A pit forming in my stomach.
“I won’t save her either.” He continued. “I saw the tape, she was the one to do it. She killed him and then, she sat across from me in his office. Prim and proper. Sweet even . All I could see were flashes of Dylan’s mangled and bruised body. Tell me why I can’t exact revenge on her.”
“You know that it was Richard Ravencroft’s hand to play.”
He bolted up from his seat and slapped his hand down on the table. “She… She buried that bullet in his brain–I can’t let that go.” Tears sprung in his eyes, but his pupils were wide open. Intense with want. Then he looked directly at me. “Forget Richard, I want to kill her.”
I shook my head again, pained, it was a hard image to paint in my mind. If I were him, I wouldn’t think twice. He was far more noble than me. Much more disciplined.
Then, a shy smile crossed his face, and my heart sank. “Maybe, I already am.”
I stared at him, multitudes of possibilities passing through my head.
“Killing her, I mean. You know the anxiety medication she takes?”
“Migraine.” He cocked his head at me, so I clarified. “It’s migraine medication.”
He nodded before speaking again. An agonising pause. “I soaked her pills in tea tree oil.”
No. “Sorren!” I shot up from the table. From the doorway, eyes tracked my movements in a split second before continuing on. That moment of hesitation, that doubt, could kill me. I lowered my voice into a calm tone. Oral intake of tea tree oil was toxic at best, lethal at worst. I needed him to understand. “Replace those pills immediately! This is my operation, stand down. Trust me, please.”
With heavy lids, he blinked slowly as if he were staring at someone he pitied. I didn’t need pity. I’d survived too much for it to be minimised by a lesser man. Don’t get caught in a war of hearts, blood will always be thicker.”
Did he think he knew better than me? “Hearts can change.” I hoped. Attachments were dangerous but I knew in my healed heart that she was worth it.
“Blood can’t.”
“Please, don’t. Avenge him , don’t ruin yourself for revenge. My father,” I chuckled thickly, "Nailed it in my head. The reward is sweeter with a cause. Pity, murder, and violent rampages are a temporary reprieve. A cause to fight for? One that ends in victory? Long term delight. This. ” I circled the area with my finger. “This will be ours. Soon enough. Eyes on the prize, Sorren.”
His breathing had slowed during my speech, but fire still burned in his eyes. When he turned his flames to me, I tried not to flinch away from the heat.
“Is it true…” He stopped and started a couple times. “Uhh…Is it true that your father beat you?”
“He loved me.” I lifted my head to stare over his shoulder. “In his own way. I’m stronger because of it.”
“You still have faith in your family name?”
“Of course.” I stood from my seat. I need to bin her meds. Right now.
“Why?”
“Because I’m stronger because of it.”
This was worse than I imagined.