Chapter Fourteen #3
"We need to talk," Alistair said one evening, finding her alone in the music room. "Really talk. About what comes next."
She had been sitting at the pianoforte, not playing, just running her fingers silently over the keys. The music room had become a kind of refuge for her; a place she could be alone with her thoughts, away from the watchful eyes of servants and the constant presence of a curious six-year-old.
But she wasn't alone now. He was here, standing in the doorway, looking at her with an expression that made her heart turn over in her chest.
"I know," she said.
He crossed the room and sat beside her on the piano bench, close but not touching. The intimacy of the position sent shivers down her spine.
"I have a plan," he said. "Or the beginning of one. But I need to know…" He stopped, his expression vulnerable in a way she rarely saw. "I need to know that you're certain. That…This is what you want. Because once we begin down this path, there's no going back."
"What path?"
He took a breath, and she could see him steeling himself, gathering courage for whatever he was about to say.
"The path that ends with you as my wife."
The words stole her breath. Wife. He was talking about marriage. A duke, proposing to a governess.
"That's impossible," she whispered.
"Nothing is impossible. Only difficult." He took her hands, holding them between his own. "I know there will be a scandal. I know society will talk. I know my peers will disapprove, and your position will be questioned, and there will be a thousand obstacles between us and happiness."
"Alistair…"
"Let me finish." He lifted one hand and pressed it against his chest, over his heart.
"I've spent the last six years being the duke everyone expected me to be.
Cold, controlled and proper. I've made all the right choices, said all the right things, maintained all the right appearances.
And what has it gotten me? An empty house, a brother who barely knows me and a life that looks perfect from the outside and feels like a prison from within. "
"That's changing. You're changing."
"Because of you." His eyes burned into hers. "You walked into my life and showed me what I was missing. You thawed something in me that I thought was frozen forever. And now…"I can't go back to the way things were. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. With you."
"But the scandal…"
"It will pass. Scandals always pass. In a year, in two years, in five, no one will remember or care that the Duke of Northmere married his governess. They'll only see that we're happy. That we have a family. That we built something real out of something impossible."
"You make it sound so simple."
"It's not simple. It's the hardest thing I've ever contemplated." He raised her hands and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "But it's also the only thing that makes sense. I love you, Eliza. And I want to spend the rest of my life proving it."
Tears filled her eyes. She blinked them back, not wanting to cry, wanting to be strong enough for this moment.
"What about Henry?" she managed. "What about the estate? What about all the people who depend on you?"
"Henry adores you. He would be thrilled to have you as a sister.
As for the estate and the tenants…" He shrugged, a gesture that was surprisingly casual given the weight of what he was proposing.
"They care about whether I'm a good landlord, not about who I marry.
And I think… I hope that being happy might actually make me a better landlord.
I've been so focused on duty for so long that I forgot why duty matters in the first place. "
"And why does it matter?"
"Because it's in service of something larger. It is for family, community and love." He said the last word quietly, like it was still new to him, still fragile. "I forgot that duty without love is just... going through the motions. But you reminded me."
Eliza sat silent, overwhelmed by the enormity of what he was offering. Marriage to a duke. Scandal, whispers and the disapproval of everyone who mattered. But also love, security and a home of her own, children of her own, a life with the man who had somehow become everything to her.
"Don't answer now." He released her hands, giving her space. "Think about it. Take all the time you need. But know that when you're ready, I'll be waiting. However long it takes."
He rose from the piano bench and walked toward the door. At the threshold, he paused and looked back at her.
"Whatever you decide," he said quietly, "know that I meant every word. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I will spend the rest of my life being grateful that you walked through my door, even if you decide you can't walk through it with me."
He left.
Eliza sat alone in the music room, her hands resting on the silent keys, her heart pounding and her mind racing and her whole world tilting on its axis.
Marriage…. To a duke.
It was impossible.
It was wonderful.
It was everything she had never dared to dream.
And she had no idea what to do about it.