CHAPTER THIRTEEN #2
“You’re very brave, sweet one, and capable, too. I’m proud of you for unmanning him so easily.”
“You are?”
A soft light fills me. I’d suffer a thousand Sir Gilead’s if they all led me to the shedu’s compliments. No one has ever said they’re proud of me. No one has ever called me brave. Except him.
“I am ridiculously proud, yes.” He casts a glance to the corner. “Should I remove him to his room, or kill him?”
“His room?”
“I smelled him as I passed a doorway in the other wing. I’m certain Lady Mary thought to let him sleep off his overindulgence.”
Very likely. And Sir Gilead certainly held other motivation for remaining close.
“Charlotte?”
The shocking thought that I could request a man’s death and Alad would see it through turns bliss into something else. Something feral. Something needy. This mythological monster will kill for me. There’s power in that knowledge. There’s security I never thought to feel. And… arousal.
If I wasn’t afraid Sir Gilead would wake, I’d mount him right now.
His chuckle and the light in his eyes tell me he understands my thought. “It’s the same after any battle, which is why more children are born nine months later than at any other time.”
“Oh.”
A moan sounds from the corner. Alad raises his brow and waits for my decision.
“Don’t kill him. He deserves it, but I don’t want you to borrow trouble.”
Alad rolls his eyes. “You worry too much for my safety, sweet one. I’m untouchable.”
Except he’s not, though I suppose I’m the only one of us who realizes it. The confident shape-shifter doesn’t seem impressed by danger at all, but our time holds all sorts of peril never contemplated in his age. “His rooms. Please.”
“Fine, but I shall alert Mary to what transpired. This piece of filth will no longer be welcome in this home.”
“I think that’s her decision, isn’t it? Or the duke’s?”
Alad leans in and brushes a gentle kiss against my lips. “No. It’s mine. You’re mine, and any who hurt you will have to deal with me.”
I don’t argue further. He lifts Sir Gilead by the legs and flips him around and over his shoulder, taking care to bang the baronet’s head against the doorframe as he exits. After he disappears, I go to my mirror and examine my face and hair, putting myself right again.
Not too many minutes later, Alad stalks through the door, so powerful in his lion-man form again that the air seems to ripple around him. Each padded step brings with it a sense of danger. He may not bear a lion’s head, but I feel the fate of his jaws snapping around my neck.
“You left the library so suddenly. I entered earlier to return this.” His leg transforms to arm and hand, and he plucks my journal from the floor where he must have dropped it earlier. He strides closer.
So close to the bed, his great size is exacerbated. The tall frame, which requires a set of two stairs for me to reach the mattress, only puts the bed’s surface mid-body to Alad.
“Thank you.” I slip the journal beneath my pillow. “Are you angry with me?”
“Not with you, no. And neither is Lady Mary, who happened across us as I dragged Sir Gilead through the doorway of his room. When he awakens, I believe he will find he’s quite overstayed his welcome.
” A sudden smirk lights in his eyes. “I wasn’t altogether careful with his head.
He’ll awaken with some bumps and bruises. ”
“Good.”
“Bloodthirsty, wench?”
A laugh escapes me. “And which book did you read to obtain that line?”
“One of the gothic romances, I think.” His expression becomes more serious. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, Charlotte. I read parts of your journal before I realized what I was reading.”
“And once you realized?”
A small smile twists his handsome face, lifting his plush lips. “I had to continue. I felt your plight. Your desperation. I don’t judge you, Charlotte. I admire you.” He holds his gaze steady upon mine, those incredible golden eyes so compelling, I can’t look away.
“I judge me.” The words slip from me without my leave, but they’re the truth, a truth I’ve been slow to admit even in my journal.
“At least, I did, but when Sir Gilead offered me the future I believed I deserved, a future as his mistress, I heard your words in my head. I don’t want to become a monster.
And so, I won’t. I’ll embrace my past because, after all, it’s led me to you. ”
With a powerful thrust of his legs, he leaps onto the bed, shaking the furniture. He pats the space beside him as he lounges upon his side. “Will you come lie with me?”
“Why?”
“So we might discuss our futures together. So I know I can cover you in an instant, protecting you from unanticipated danger. So I don’t have to rest at a cold distance while my heart dares to dream.”
Shivers run up and down my spine. His deep voice does something to me. His words do something more. Undefinable. Irreparable. And sharp like destiny.
I recline carefully, facing him, but with space between us.
“Other way. Turn around.”
Frowning, I do as he asks. I wedge myself so my bustle presses to his furred belly. His arm latches around my waist and draws me up into him. More shivers race up and down my frame, but they’re nothing to the incredible heat flooding my blood.
When he whispers, his breath scalds against my ear. Goosebumps erupt along my flesh. My body creases, the worst case of emptiness creeping between my thighs I’ve ever experienced. Thoughts of his cock slipping under my skirt and into me are difficult to push aside, yet I must.
This closeness we share is enough. I can’t endure the soul-cutting pain of penetration again. Can I?
But part of me wants to see.
“When I was cursed, Gilgamesh was in the process of having Karu dressed for seduction. He intended to send her into the arms of the beast of the forest, thereby taming the monster.”
“How awful.” But my words are a lie. All I can see is me approaching Alad, terrified, yes, but also wanting.
“It was. Here’s my confession, sweet one, since I know yours: I was ready to walk away from Gil, but I don’t think I would have saved her first. No, don’t say anything,” he adds, stilling me when I start to turn towards him.
I settle back and wait.
“I should have attempted to save her, though I’m not sure I would have succeeded. Likely not. And Gil is—was—a wily sort, and far more intelligent than most credit him with being. Part of me thinks he sent Karu to Enkidu just to jolt me out of my obsession with her.”
I don’t like hearing he was obsessed, but I say nothing.
“That is my guilt. I bear it. I understand it.”
“Your guilt? I’d say that he’s the one who should feel guilty. He betrayed you.”
“Maybe.” He remains silent for a moment before adding, “Yes, he betrayed me, but I loved him so much that each of his betrayals—of me or of others—flayed me. And with each hurt, all I wanted to do was appease him so that my pain would stop. I appeased him so I could continue on with him, even at the price of other people. But I see my mistakes now. I won’t make them again. ”
“It’s easier to see a flaw than fix it,” I respond, keeping my voice soft. “I know from personal experience.”
“Perhaps.” A long sigh escapes him. “Gil’s curse upon me was set to break when a whore stroked my i?arum. I told you this. My concern is that he added other terms, terms I didn’t hear as I was becoming stone.”
“Such as?”
He shrugs, the ripples in his enormous muscled length flowing like water against me. “I thought myself in love with Karu. It would be like Gil to save me from my entombed state by a whore’s touch… pardon…”
“It’s fine. I am what I am.” And suddenly, I really am fine with my past. After so many years of hating myself, the lack of bitterness is uncanny. Exulting. Effervescent. “Besides, if I wasn’t a whore, I couldn’t have awoken you from stone.”
“There is that.” He nuzzles the side of my neck, the press of his lips lighting fires right down to my soul, before he lies back with a long sigh.
“I can’t help but wonder if love is required to keep me from turning back into stone.
It’s why I need to find Gilgamesh and learn the full terms of the curse.
Given your likeness to Karu…” He takes a deep breath before continuing.
“I believe that I must earn your love to stay flesh.”