Chapter 12 Hrad
HRAD
The way Alisha says it leaves no doubt. There is a certainty in her voice that rolls right through me and settles low in my belly as if I have been waiting to be chosen my entire life. It is what every Honey warrior wants. But she does not want me; she wants to save her people.
It is permanent.
We can’t pretend?
I laugh softly, trying to ignore the bitterness around my heart. She doesn’t want me. And I do not want to mate. Certainly not a human who doesn’t understand what it means. No, it cannot be faked. Someone will reach into my pants and check.
Her frown deepens, creating a furrow between her eyebrows. What do you mean?
Exactly that. Aside from being stronger and faster, there are certain changes…to my meq.
Her gaze flicks down to the front of my pants, and once again I find myself wishing for my clothes, not the tight, colony-issued pants, that leave far too little to the imagination. Or perhaps it is that human men have little to contain.
What kind of changes?
I pull my hand away. This is not the conversation I want. I fold up the blanket and shove it into my bag. I should eat another packet of sludge. However, I don’t know how long we’re going to be in the forest for.
“Hrad…we need to talk about this.”
I pause, crouched by my bag, then I take a drink of water, not sure what to say without sounding unreasonable. “No we do not,” I growl. “Unlike your people, my people mate for life. If my mate leaves me, I risk death or at the very least madness.”
“I understand—”
I turn and stand, keeping my voice low even though there is no one around. “If you did, you would not suggest it.”
“I suggested because I do not see another way.”
My lips curl in a sneer. “I am not a weapon to be used and then discarded. You may be able to walk away, but I cannot. You will risk my life to save theirs?”
She takes a step back. “Do you think so little of me?”
Last night, I did not. Last night, if she had suggested it, I may have been weak enough to agree. But last night my body craved her, or at least the idea of her. Once again, I see human women cannot be trusted.
Yet my brothers trust their mates.
They found love and happiness and made a home.
It is me who is broken.
“You are a leader who will do anything for her people.”
“You are part of my team,” she hisses.
We should be talking silently, but I don’t want to touch her in case I agree to this foolish plan.
“That is not true. I am tolerated by the colony. I suspect some will be quite happy if I did not return.” At least the other tribe killing me will be quick.
“Going mad from the loss of my mate is a cruel death that I do not wish on anyone.”
“I will not abandon you.”
“You will sacrifice your own future happiness to save Erica? You will tie yourself to me, knowing that there are those in the colony who hate my kind?”
“They hate your kind because you mate for life, and you make them look bad.”
I snort. “They make themselves look bad. I had no hand in that.”
She laughs and looks away. “We cannot abandon Erica.”
We can abandon Erica. “We need to protect the ship and hope they have not damaged it, so it cannot fly.”
“I’m going to contact Charlie’s team. Then we are heading to the ship…will they have left and taken Erica to the settlement?”
I contemplate her question for a couple of heartbeats.
“If there were five of them. It is likely that two will remain with the ship. It is possible that after they return to the settlement and discus the findings, they will send out search parties, as they will expect more than two people on a ship that size.”
“So the odds are that we will be found.”
There are only two options. “We are found, or we flee.”
“They are both shitty options. Because if we are found, you are killed. And if we flee, my people will return, and they will kill, and then any chance we had of learning something and possibly creating a trading partner is gone.”
“If your people arrive here with guns, and kill, it will not take long for word to spread. And when it does, more ships will cross the ocean. Your people are better armed, but there are more of us. It is a war that no one wins.”
She draws in a breath and clasps the back of her head with both hands, tipping her face to the sky. “We should’ve landed near one of your brother’s tribes.”
“That would not help. They may still have taken Erica, and any other woman. Especially after seeing that they can be taken as mates.”
“You’re assuming that everybody wants a human mate. You don’t.”
“Because I don’t trust…” That is the wrong word. “I trust you with this mission. But it is my life you are seeking to use.”
She steps in close so there is barely any space between our bodies. “Which I am trying to save you, you stubborn asshole.”
I glare at her. “You are trying to save Erica.”
“I am trying to save everyone. Including you. If they find you, the best protection I can give you is to say you are my mate.” There are only a few finger widths between our faces.
“You don’t even like me,” I growl.
Her eyes narrow. “I did yesterday. Today, not so much.”
“Same.”
“Fine.” She steps back and pulls out a packet of sludge and downs it while glaring at me, like it’s some kind of challenge to see who blinks first.
“Do you want to be mated to a man you don’t like?
“Like that isn’t my fate? Some geneticist has already marked out my perfect match. I don’t have a choice. You could’ve had any woman in the colony. Plenty have offered.”
“They do not want me; they just don’t want a human. They like the idea of someone loyal to them, but I do not trust they will be loyal to me.” I will not be cast aside again. That is the only choice I can make.
Her eyes are hard as she considers me. “I can promise that.”
“I do not want a mate out of duty.” I tap my chest. “Being chosen is something almost sacred to my people. I’m a banished fourth son.”
“Yeah, and? Does that mean you’re never supposed to find love?”
“Yes. We are raised and pushed out of our tribe. Told to raid other tribes for women and wealth with promises of being able to return.” Lies that give false hope to the banished and soothe the loss for the unfortunate family with four sons.
“They send you on suicide runs, expecting you all to die.”
“It is more of a chance than the fifth-born son gets. He never draws his first breath.”
She folds up the packet of sludge. “You’re not eating.”
“I don’t know how long we’ll be out here, so I’m treating it as emergency rations.”
“There are emergency rations ion the ship.”
“You’re assuming we can get into the ship. Killing two of their warriors is not a great start to diplomatic relations.”
“Who said anything about killing? Can you stun them long enough for us to get into the ship?”
“Possibly…assuming they don’t stun me first.”
“For all we know, Hugh or Erica shot one of them.”
“Then we should assume the warriors now have your weapons. It didn’t take us long to figure them out, so it won’t take them long. They may have already raided the ship for everything useful.”
“And if we’re unlucky, they’ve damaged it, so it won’t fly.” Her face contorts as she yells a silent curse and turns in a full circle.
I understand the frustration she’s feeling, but this is not something that can be solved immediately. “Pull up the camera feed. Let’s see what we’re dealing with.”
There are three cameras online, which means Charlie’s team was successful in setting one up. None of them shows us anything useful.
“There’s a camera on the rear of the ship that I might be able to access.
It’s used for landing in tight spots, so we don’t damage the back end.
” She sits on her bag and types on the screen, pulling up new screens.
Then we have a lovely view of the ground beneath what I’m assuming is the ship.
“Hang on.” She circles her fingers on the screen, and the image moves. “Oh.”
Hugh is dead from the amount of blood on his clothes and the way he is staring, blank eyed at the ship. His whisperer is still in his ear, and his weapon is on his belt.
I sit next to her. “They never heard them coming.”
“I bet he got cocky with his drone, and someone decided to follow it.”
That was my fear when they first started flying them. But what do I know? I’m a barbarian who doesn’t understand technology. I may not understand how it’s made, but I understand it well enough to use it.
We stare at the screen watching all four camera feeds. And I scan our surrounds with my kam, hoping that no one gets close to our position.
“Charlie hasn’t replied,” she murmurs, her voice little more than a whisper.
“They may be hiking already.” But even on my lips, that sounds like a weak excuse.
“You don’t believe that.”
“I am beginning to think it’s unlikely. They may have been intercepted by the hunting party.”
“I’m going to send an emergency burst.”
Alisha mouths another silent curse, though it’s clear from the curl of her lips and the fire in her eyes she wants to scream in frustration. “What the fuck went wrong?”
I study her for two heartbeats. “Do you want my honest opinion?”
She closes her eyes as if torn between asking for a comforting lie and the hard truth. She sighs. “Of course I want the truth.”
“We were too close and used too much tech. Most of your leaders didn’t want to listen, but a simple diplomatic mission may have yielded better results. Particularly to one of my brothers’ tribes.”
“Only Tiril and you thought that was a good idea.”
Because we were the only honey warriors at the table. “I wonder why that was?”
She glances at me, as if warning me to shut up, then shakes her head. “Yeah, you know your people better.”
“This tribe is not my people. I can make guesses about how they will behave, but that is all.”
“What will happen to Charlie?”
“It depends on whether someone puts the whisperer on, and then how much the captured humans reveal about the colony.”
She grimaces. “They are scientists, not soldiers.”