CHAPTER TEN
Three months later.
The coffee was bitter. In the several weeks she’d been frequenting this little bar, she’d never had a coffee that wasn’t exceptional.
Kate was strict about drinking only one a day, and so it was an insult beyond bearing to have it wasted on one as unpalatable as this, but she was desperate.
She’d been kept up all night by the revelers in the downstairs apartment.
She had been on the cusp of going downstairs to complain when they’d begun calling loudly, Buon Anni!
Was it really the first day of the year? Kate threw back the last of her macchiato and placed the delicate cup on the bar.
“Grazie, ciao.”
“A domain, singorina,” the handsome young man called after her.
She waved and pushed out of the door. It was bitingly cold. Kate pulled her jacket more tightly around her shoulders and began the walk through the winding streets of Firenze back to her small apartment. She passed the florist and admired the beautiful flowers, as she always did.
“One day you buy the bunch, si?” The woman called with a grin, and Kate smiled. At least, she did her best to impersonate the kind of smile she’d seen on other people. It seemed to be similar to what she remembered doing, before Benedetto.
Something kicked inside of her and she sighed.
How she loved flowers. Only now, even they reminded her of him.
More specifically, of the farm house in Tuscany.
She pushed one foot in front of the other, moving closer and closer to the flat.
But she was unable to control her mind as well as she could her legs.
The farm house was only perhaps thirty minutes from Florence. She’d thought about hiring a car and driving past it, to see how strong she was. But it was too difficult to imagine. How could she bear to see that house? The house she’d come to love, as she loved Benedetto?
“Buongiorno.” She waved at her neighbor and then fumbled for her keys in her bag. She slid the heavy brass key into the lock and pushed the door inwards.
There was no relief from the frigid cold there.
She bent down to pick up a pile of letters on the floor and sifted through them.
None of the envelopes bore her name. Then again, that was hardly surprising.
Melania was the only person who knew where Kate had moved to, and only because she’d allowed Kate to stay on doing basic administrative jobs from the safety and privacy of her home.
Kate placed the pile of mail neatly on the communal table and took the stairs quickly. She unlocked her own door and opened it, rubbing her hands together as she stepped inside, before pulling the door shut behind her.
A frown flickered across her face as she saw the flowers in the middle of the table.
Flowers just like she admired every day at the little street cart in the alley.
Her heart began to race as her eyes quickly scanned the room.
And there he was.
Benedetto Arnaud, conjured from her memories, standing in her small kitchen, staring back at her as though he too couldn’t believe his eyes.
She loosened her scarf self-consciously, leaving it hanging around her neck and down her front.
He looked so good; dressed in a charcoal suit with a crisp white shirt unbuttoned at the throat to reveal his thick column of neck and hair roughened chest. She swallowed, pushing down on the instant flash of desire.
That was a base physical reaction. It had no place in what she should feel for him.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded, dropping her handbag to the floor and taking another step into the flat.
“You need to start living in apartments that have better security,” he responded, attempting a joke to ease both of their discomforts.
But Kate didn’t smile.
She couldn’t. She couldn’t see Benedetto again. Not now, not ever. She swallowed and took a step away from him, towards the wall on the other side of the room.
“You have no right to be here.” She shook her head. “You broke into my apartment.”
“I had to see you.”
Her enormous eyes were closed to him. She was cold and unavailable, as he’d believed her to be when first he’d met her.
“No, you didn’t,” she responded caustically. “Ben … I can’t …” Kate felt as though she’d been winded. She dug her hands in her pockets, simply for something to do. Her heart was pounding so fast she couldn’t believe that he didn’t hear it. “I just can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what, Kate?” He murmured, taking a step towards her. She flinched as though he’d struck her and Ben felt pain slash his core.
“This is over. You and I said … we’re over. You can’t be here. My father …”
“You cannot live your entire life in hiding. You cannot fear him forever, cara.”
“Don’t. Don’t call me that,” she snapped angrily, pacing away from him.
“And I was doing better until I met you. Do you know how long it took me to settle into life in Rome? How long it took me to feel like I finally had a place that was my own? A little slice of earth I could call home? And you ruined that. You’re going to ruin it again. ”
A muscle jerked in his cheek. “I did not come here to ruin your life.”
“Then why did you?” She stalked over to the windows, and stared down at the street below. The beautiful street that she had come to love, would soon form another part of her past. How could she stay here now? “No one is meant to know where I am.”
“No one does. Except me.”
“If you found me, he will too.”
Benedetto raised a hand in front of him, imperiously commanding her to be quiet. But Kate’s emotions were going haywire.
“You can’t be here!” She shouted. “You can’t just … break into my flat! Again! I need you to go.”
“I came here to talk to you.”
“We have nothing to talk about,” she snapped, pulling the ends of her pony tail over her shoulder and toying with the hair nervously. Did he know? Had he somehow discovered the truth about her?
His lips twisted in a sardonic grimace. “That is completely untrue.”
“My father …”
“Is in prison.”
The words dropped into the room like tiny little pieces of flint. Kate stared at the ground as though she might even be able to see them hitting the floor. Is in prison. Is in prison. My father is in prison.
“I don’t understand.” Her enormous eyes sought his. “When? What happened?”
And shock kept her immobile, even when he crossed the room and stood right in front of her. “I found Connor.” Benedetto’s eyes searched hers. She stared up at him, waiting for him to continue. Kate wasn’t sure she would be able to speak, even if she knew what she wanted to say.
“He was working in Australia, doing research for a Supreme Court justice. Living in fear, as you were, of Augustine.”
“Why?” She stammered, her expression completely unreadable.
“You do not want these details, dear Kate …”
“Why?” She repeated through gritted teeth.
Benedetto weighed his words carefully, afraid that Kate was about to pass out.
She was so pale, so fragile looking. “Augustine exercised his power over Connor to make sure Connor never revealed what he knew. Please do not make me discuss how, for I do not think you want to hear it.” He pressed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his.
“Suffice it to say, your father knew how to get to Connor, and Connor took the threat seriously.”
Kate shuddered. “But Connor told you …”
“Connor did better than that,” Benedetto corrected darkly. “He had kept documents that proved your father’s guilt. If I had not felt jealous as hell of the man, I might even have walked away liking him.”
Kate shook her head. “You had no reason to be jealous of Connor,” she whispered.
Benedetto arched his brows cynically. “Of course I do. Kate, you slept with him. You cared for him. How do you imagine I would not envy this man?”
She swallowed. It didn’t mean he cared for her.
Or that he ever had. It meant only that he viewed her as ‘his’, someone he had possessed for a time, as one might a pair of shoes or a coat.
“That’s absurd. And irrelevant.” She forced her eyes to meet his.
“You’re serious about this? Dad being in jail? ”
“Si. I was close to having enough evidence to take to the authorities before meeting you.” He frowned, his expression somber. “If I could go back in time, I would do that, Kate. Instead of indulging a childish need to wound a man not worth such consideration. And to use you as my instrument.”
Kate nodded. “You and me both.” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth. “Why are you here?”
He furrowed his brow. “I thought you would want to know about Augustine.” He shook his head then, a rueful expression at the corners of his eyes. “And I wanted to see you.”
Her stomach rolled. Anxiety caused perspiration to gather at her hairline. “I’m glad you told me, but it doesn’t change anything.” She sidestepped away from him, putting distance between them physically.
“No, it doesn’t,” he agreed with the appearance of calmness.
Kate lifted a hand to her stomach on instinct and then dropped it. Guilt perforated her gut, but she knew it was for the best. “Can you please go, Benedetto?”
“No.” His smile was wry. “I don’t think I can. Having seen you again I don’t know why I waited until now to do this.” He propped his shoulder against the wall, perfectly affecting the appearance of nonchalance.
“To do what?”
“To tell you that we should still be together.”
She sucked in a breath and shook her head instinctively. “No. That’s not possible.”
“Of course it is possible,” he contradicted. “Especially now. You can come out in the open. Live with me in Rome. Live with me freely, and openly. Come back to me, Kate.”
“No,” she snapped angrily, clenching her hands to her side so that she didn’t give in to the instinct to slam her palms against his firm, muscled chest. But fury was whipping around her!
Fury that he would think he had any right to come back into her life.
To find her, again, when she’d gone to such lengths to be hidden.