10
The pink dye refused to wash off.
Adhira stood over her bathroom sink, aggressively scrubbing at her fingertips with a rough towel, but the faint, stubborn stain of crimson gulaal remained etched into the whorls of her skin.
Every time she looked at her thumb, her breath hitched.
Her body betrayed her, forcefully dragging her back to the courtyard.
She could still feel the scorching, damp heat of Shreyash's neck.
She could feel the erratic, frantic thrum of his pulse jumping directly against her palm.
She closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cool mirror, and let out a shaky, frustrated exhale.
What did I do? Her heart gave a violent, heavy thump against her ribs.
Just the memory of his dark, dilated eyes looking down at her, completely undone, terribly vulnerable, yet burning with an unspoken intensity made a heavy, pooling heat twist deep in her lower stomach.
She had stepped completely out of line. She had touched him with a raw, demanding intimacy that still made her skin prickle with electricity twenty-four hours later.
She turned off the tap with a harsh twist, her mind a chaotic, spinning mess of guilt, confusion, and a terrifying, addictive desire to do it all over again.
"Adhi?"
Her mother's voice filtered through the slightly ajar bedroom door. "Are you out of the shower? Come to my room for a minute. Shut the door behind you."
Adhira wrapped her damp hair in a towel, pulling on a loose t-shirt and track pants. The serious, hushed tone of her mother's voice immediately snapped her out of her sensual daze. She walked down the hallway, pushing open the door to her parents' bedroom.
Her mother was sitting on the edge of the large teakwood bed, folding a silk saree. She didn't look up immediately, carefully smoothing out the gold embroidery.
"Ma? Is everything okay?" Adhira asked, lingering near the doorframe, her fingers nervously twisting the hem of her shirt.
"Come sit," her mother patted the mattress beside her.
Adhira walked over, perching stiffly on the edge. The air in the room felt suddenly thick, charged with a heavy, traditional weight that made Adhira's throat go completely dry.
"I know you have just started college, beta," her mother started softly, finally looking up. Her eyes were sharp, calculating, but wrapped in a warm, maternal guise. "And your father and I promised we wouldn't rush you. But sometimes, life presents things earlier than we expect."
Adhira's stomach plummeted. The lingering warmth of Shreyash's memory turned instantly to ice. "Ma... what are you talking about?"
"An alliance has been brought to us," her mother said gently, reaching out to cover Adhira's trembling hand.
"Its a very, very good family. They're traditional and well-respected and they're settled nearby too so we can take care of you as well.
The boy is brilliant, kind, and his mother and I...
we spoke and I think she is very nice. We bonded instantly. "
The walls of the bedroom suddenly felt like they were caving in. Adhira stared blindly at the folded silk on the bed.
An alliance. In her first year? She was barely twenty.
But this was how it happened in their community.
If a 'good family' showed interest, you didn't let them walk away just because the girl was young.
You finalised it with an engagement and then when the girl completes her studies, they get married.
A hushed conversation on a Sunday morning, a meeting, a nod, and suddenly, your entire future was chained to a stranger.
"Ma, I... I'm in my first year," Adhira choked out, her voice barely a whisper. She pulled her hand back slightly, her chest tightening so hard she could barely draw breath. "I don't know if I'm ready to..."
"No one is asking you to get married tomorrow, Adhira," her mother said firmly, holding her gaze with unwavering intensity.
"It would just be an engagement. A promise.
But a family like this... a boy like this...
if we let them look elsewhere, we will regret it for the rest of our lives.
Your father and I both want you to meet him this weekend.
If you don't like it then we won't force you after that, just take a look beta. "
Adhira opened her mouth to argue. The fierce, stubborn fire that usually fueled her flared up, ready to burn the conversation to the ground.
She wanted to scream that she didn't care about a good family.
She wanted to yell that she couldn't possibly sit across from a stranger when her hands were still stained with the memory of someone else.
But she looked at her mother's expectant, resolute face. Adhira had been raised to respect her parents' wisdom above her own rebellious impulses. They were letting her pursue engineering; the unspoken contract was that she would trust them with her ultimate settlement.
She swallowed the thick, burning lump of bile rising in her throat. She dug her fingernails into her own palms to keep from violently shaking.
"Okay," Adhira whispered, her voice entirely hollow, stripped of all its usual fire. She forced a rigid, mechanical nod. "If... if that is what you and Appa think is best. I'll meet him."
Her mother's eyes softened into a look of profound, secret triumph. "Good girl. You won't be disappointed, beta. I promise you."
Adhira didn't hear the promise. She stood up on numb legs, murmuring a quiet excuse about needing to dry her hair. She walked out of the room, her spine kept perfectly, painfully straight until she crossed the threshold of her own bedroom.
The moment her door clicked shut, the invisible string holding her together snapped.
Adhira stumbled forward, her knees giving out completely. She collapsed onto the floor beside her bed, her hands flying up to cover her mouth as a ragged, brutal sob ripped through her chest.
She dragged herself up just enough to press her face into the side of her mattress, muffling the agonizing sounds tearing out of her throat.
Why does it hurt so much? She couldn't breathe. The grief didn't just feel like sadness, it felt like a hollow, gaping wound opening up right behind her ribs.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and instantly, a flash of deep, striking dimples invaded the darkness behind her eyelids.
She saw the way Shreyash had held the umbrella entirely over her in the pouring rain.
She saw the quiet, devastating reverence in his dark eyes right before she touched his neck yesterday.
A fresh, violent wave of tears spilled hotly over her cheeks, soaking into the bedsheets.
She grabbed handfuls of her duvet, her knuckles turning white.
The denial finally broke, completely shattered by the absolute terror of losing him.
She wasn't just confused by her actions during Holi.
She was completely, hopelessly, irreversibly in love with Ayan's quiet and infuriatingly gentle best friend.
And she had just promised her mother she would go for a match meeting to belong to another man.