17
Jia grabbed her slippers, gently opened the front door, and quietly let herself out onto the front porch. Mimi had already
retired to her bedroom for the night, and even so, she respected that this time of day had become sacred for Jia.
Jia couldn’t remember ever seeing the sunset in New York. It was either light outside or dark outside, and there wasn’t much
difference in her mind. The light was often blocked by the tall buildings, the dark usually brightened by the city lights.
But out here in the desert, it was like the sky was announcing when it awakened or went to sleep. It let everyone know by
projecting stunning and vibrant shades of reds, oranges, and pinks until it had gone where it needed to go.
It was breathtaking.
And it felt especially magical here at Sunset Hills where no one came outdoors after dinner.
Where Jia could sit on the curb of her favorite corner, the one where she had an unobstructed view of the outline of the mountains to her right, the wind turbines to her left, and the sun providing the backdrop to them all as it went down, in complete peace and quiet.
She felt him before she saw him. He walked quietly. And she might have teased him the first time they’d walked down this sidewalk
on this street, making him think she’d felt unsafe, but maybe she always knew for some reason that that was the furthest from
the case. He was a caretaker in his own way. He worried, he took close care, he made sure everything was safe for his granddad.
“Hi,” she said. She didn’t turn to look at him, didn’t watch him as he came up beside her.
He remained standing but looked straight ahead just like she did. Not taking his eyes off the show the sky was putting on.
“Hi,” he said back.
She patted the ground next to her, inviting him to join her. Maybe he didn’t want to bother her. Maybe he sensed this time
was important for her to experience. She wanted him to stay.
She usually faced this time of day alone. But today, she felt willing to share.
He sat down on the curb next to her and stretched his long legs out in front of them on the street. He crossed his feet at
the ankles and leaned back on his hands.
Who knew how long they sat there in silence. The yellow gave way to pink gave way to orange gave way to red, rust, brown,
black.
And then Jia let out her breath like she did every time the night fell.
“Wow,” he whispered.
“Yeah,” she agreed.
Neither of them made a move to leave.
The streetlights flickered on, and the temperature finally felt bearable.
“It’s special,” she said.
“I never took the time to experience it before.”
“What brought you out here tonight? Couldn’t sleep?” Jia asked.
“Still getting used to that seven o’clock bedtime,” Henry said.
Jia laughed. “Yeah, it’s a totally different life than back in New York.”
“It really is. I thought I’d feel stifled by the heat and the slowness. But there’s something really calming about it.”
Jia nodded, knowing he probably couldn’t see her. But he’d nailed it. That was exactly how it felt out here. Calming. Though,
she’d probably add that it was magical too. The area. The people. Everything. She’d known this even as a kid.
She knew it even more now. She just didn’t know how she could hold on to it.
“Are you staying here much longer?” he asked.
She stiffened at the question, like Henry was reading her mind. Maybe surprisingly, no one at Sunset Hills had asked her that
question. As nosy and gossipy as the crowd could be, they were experienced in life enough to have a live-and-let-live attitude
toward each other.
But there was always a countdown clock over Jia’s head. And it was getting perilously close to the end.
She didn't want to think about it. Sure, it tried to make its way to the forefront of her mind. She’d always just pushed it
to the back and wouldn't worry that her stay had an expiration date.
But her parents were getting more impatient.
And life, whatever that meant, was waiting to be resumed.
Jia didn’t have a job. She didn’t have an apartment.
And she would no longer have a life of her own.
She’d be moving to Florida to live with her parents, to work at their job, to do what they wanted her to do.
She worried about all the activities she’d started up for the residents here. She fretted about the relationships she’d fostered.
She couldn’t just leave them, could she?
“Unclear,” she replied. “You?”
“I leave next week,” he said.
“Important lawyer stuff to get back to,” she said.
He let out a huff. “Something like that.”
“Did you always want to be a lawyer? Did you go to middle school with a suit and tie and sign your name with Future Esq?”
“You got something against lawyers?” Henry teased.
“Something like that,” she echoed. He probably thought she’d meant because of him. What he didn’t know was she’d had an aversion
to lawyers long before she’d ever worked and been fired from a job. It had all started in the home. “My parents are lawyers.”
“Ahhh, I see. Well, the answer is yes, I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. I like . . . order. And rules. And accountability.”
“Life isn’t always that black-and-white, though,” she replied. “Sometimes life needs to have some color. Freedom to evolve,
figure things out.” This was something she was realizing for herself more and more.
Henry visibly cringed at her words.
She barked out a laugh. “Allergic to the freedom to evolve?”
“My parents are free spirits,” he answered.
She twisted her mouth, nodding, understanding.
“We probably make our therapists a lot of money.”
“Since I was twelve,” he answered.
She raised her eyebrows as she turned to get a good look at him. “Impressive. Sixteen for me.” She really liked a man in therapy.
“Therapy is sexy, ya know?” She nudged him with her shoulder.
“Yeah? OCD, ADHD, anxiety, and panic attacks do it for you?”
“Talk dirty to me,” she teased. But she wasn’t kidding. She liked a man who’d been diagnosed. First step in learning how to
manage it all.
“I’m serious, though. I think a man in therapy is sexy,” Jia reiterated.
Henry didn’t look her way. In fact, he didn’t even move an inch. He either didn’t hear her or she’d shocked the shit out of
him. Unclear.
“You must think a woman in therapy is messy,” she added, saying anything to break the silence.
It was then that he reacted. He turned his head toward her, lifted his hand, and placed it softly on her cheek. “I don’t think
you’re messy.” He held her gaze. She wanted to look away. She didn’t want words that would make excuses for the type of woman
she was. She knew she was a mess. “No.” The one word from his lips spoken as law. “I think you’re . . . vibrant. Enchanting.
Bold. It’s like you don’t realize something is tasteless until seasoning is added, and then your eyes are opened and you know
you’ll never be the same. You can never go back to bland.”
She held her breath, uncertain how to respond.
Jia had rarely heard words like those before, and definitely not describing her.
They felt like they carried more weight, these old-timey words here in this old-timey place, spoken about her.
No one other than Mimi had ever made her feel like she made their space better.
“And I didn’t realize until now how sexy that could be,” Henry admitted.
Jia leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. She took in a deep breath, taking this moment in. When she opened her eyes she
found Henry staring at her lips and then quickly looked away. He pulled his hand back from her cheek, and Jia immediately
missed its steadying touch.
“Yeah, so my parents think I just need to relax, smoke some weed, go find myself,” he said, a sad chuckle following.
“Mine think I need to focus and try harder. Oh, and move to Florida, apparently,” she said.
They both dropped their heads and laughed.
“Is that why Dennis means so much to you?”
“He basically had to raise me when my parents were off exploring the world. They would just dump me at my grandparents’ house
without any notice of when and for how long. It was easier when my grandmother was alive. But we lost her to cancer when I
was in high school, and Dennis needed time to grieve. So I figured out a way to take care of myself as much as I could. I’ve
basically been on my own since I was sixteen.”
Jia felt a pang in her chest thinking of young Henry on his own. No wonder he was so strict on rules and boundaries. He needed
them to survive. “That had to have been hard.”
“What about you? Mimi?” he asked.
“She’s my biggest cheerleader, wants me to live my best life.” Jia smiled thinking of her grandmother. “I’m kind of on the
other extreme—I’m twenty-seven and my parents haven’t left me alone a day in my life. Shit, I didn’t mean it like that.” She
didn’t want him to think she was downplaying his pain or struggle.
“No, no. I can see how that would be super difficult and frustrating. I don’t think either of us had it easier than the other.”
Jia nodded. “They just . . . worry about me. But I wish, well, I wish they’d let me live my own life. Let me breathe . . .”
She let out a deep breath as if needing the physical manifestation of what she was hoping for. “Guess we’re both the classic
case of Our parents ruined us.” Jia said it as a joke, but it hurt nonetheless.
“I don’t think you’re ruined at all.”
Jia could feel Henry’s eyes on her. Instead of turning to meet them, she closed hers, trying to stop the emotions she was
feeling. She liked him. She liked him a lot.
“They’re good people, everyone here at Sunset Hills. I’m definitely gonna have to come back and visit more often,” Henry said.
“I hope you do,” Jia said. Why it mattered so much to her, she wasn’t sure. Jia had the ability to love deep and love wide.
Maybe that was why she was so careful not to get too attached. There was too much change that always happened in her life.
Commitment caused upheaval. It was best to just enjoy the moment and the ones in it and then move on. She thought of people
like she thought of seasons: She enjoyed them while they were there, but ultimately, they came and served a purpose and then
left, for someone new to take their place.
Jia loved in em dashes and ellipses . . . with possibilities. But she ended every relationship with a period. Final. On to
the next.
This curiosity to know more about Henry, to spend more time with him, to wonder when she’d see him next, it wasn’t like her.
And that scared her.
But it didn’t matter. Because Jia was becoming more certain that New York was not where she wanted to be anymore. And she didn’t get the sense Henry felt the same way.
Plus they were two very different people. Henry was a successful, powerful lawyer. His life was on the rise. Jia was unemployed,
unhoused, with no prospects. They were going in opposite directions.
“I should get inside before Mimi sends the search party,” Jia said. She needed to stop whatever was happening here.
“Yeah, me too.” Henry stood up and reached down, offering his hand to help Jia.
She took the offer and let him pull her to her feet. She raised her eyes to meet his, not realizing how close they were standing
to each other.
Henry looked down at her, an intensity in his gaze that took her breath away. Jia leaned closer as he moved toward her. He
let go of her hand and wrapped his around her waist. Jia put both her hands on his chest as Henry drew her in against him.
His face lowered to hers. She lifted her chin as his lips came to meet hers for a kiss.
So much for stopping anything.
Jia freed her arms and wrapped them around his neck. She rose to her toes and pulled him down closer to her. Henry’s tongue
pushed into her mouth, and she tilted her head so he could get even deeper.
Henry’s hands moved to her ass, and he squeezed. Jia let out a gasp. “Fuck,” he said.
“Yes, please,” she whispered. “Just maybe not out here on the street corner.”
His shoulders moved up and down as he tucked his head into her neck and laughed. He kissed her once on the skin just below her ear and lowered farther to the base of her neck. She squirmed.
“Ticklish,” he said. She remembered he’d said the same thing to her the first night they’d been together.
It felt both fresh and familiar. And Jia could so easily give in to the desire for more. She liked him. She liked being around
him. But it felt a little like the universe had put them at odds each step of the way since that first time. Were they meant
to overcome the obstacles or just accept that the odds were stacked against them? She didn’t know.
And she didn’t think she was quite ready to try.
She stepped back out of his hold. He released his arms and let her go.
“Good night, Henry.” She held on to his hand for just a second longer, before letting go.
“Good night, Jia.”
“Thanks for watching the sunset with me.”
“Thanks for letting me. I see now why it’s so important to you.”
Jia wasn’t sure what he meant by that. How did he know how much she cherished this time each day? Had he seen her out here
before?
Henry crossed the street, and the two of them walked parallel to each other, a road between them.
Just as Jia opened her front door, she looked over her shoulder to see Henry doing the same. He lifted his arm in a wave,
and she waved back.
In her peripheral vision, Jia thought she saw the curtains of the house next door move. But she hadn’t felt a breeze, and
since everyone was likely already asleep, she brushed it off to the night playing tricks on her eyes.
She walked inside and lifted her fingers to her lips, remembering the way Henry’s felt kissing hers. And wondered if the night was playing tricks on her heart as well.
He’d seen her out there every single night watching the sun go down. He wondered what it was she thought about in those few
minutes of the day’s transition. He’d wanted to ask.
He just never had a reason to join her.
Henry saw the light on under his granddad’s door, so he knocked gently.
“Come in,” Dennis called out.
“Hey,” Henry peeked in seeing Dennis tucked away in his bed. “I checked outside about that crying cat you thought you heard?
All clear. Not a cat in sight.”
“Okay, good to know. Thanks for going out there.” Dennis smiled and then let out a yawn. “Could you turn the light out?”
“Sure thing,” Henry said as he turned off the switch and shut the door.
Dennis: Got Henry outside. He came back about an hour later.
Mimi: Way to go. Jia just came in too.
Betty: I peeked through my window, and they were definitely together out there.
Mimi: And they don’t know ’bout us, nudging, meddling.
Betty: At this rate, they won’t even need us.
Gladys: Yahoo . . . it’s working!
Dennis: It’s definitely working.
Mimi: Night, everyone!
Dennis: Night!