Chapter 29 #2
“Piper, you’re brilliant. Like, intimidatingly smart. You’re funny when you let yourself be. You care so deeply, it scares you. You build apps to help people find love because you believe everyone deserves it—everyone except yourself.”
Tears prick my eyes. “Ry—”
“I’m not done. You’re the friend who remembers my mom’s birthday. Who stays up debugging my code even when you have your own deadlines. Who takes care of other people’s plants like they’re precious.” She squeezes my hand. “You’re so incredible, Pipes. I just wish you could see it.”
“Why can’t I?” The question comes out broken.
“Because some asshole in college made you feel like you had to earn love by being useful. And now you’re so scared of not being enough that you sabotage things before they can confirm it.”
I tear the muffin in half, watching crumbs scatter. “What if I really like Ethan and already ruined it?”
“Then you start by fixing the real problem—how you see yourself. Not for him. For you.” She steals a piece of muffin. “Besides, that boy is probably sitting in his room right now, hating himself for what he said.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know hurt people don’t say things like that unless they’re bleeding inside.” She pauses. “But that’s his shit to deal with. Yours is learning that you’re worth choosing. That you always were.”
“That sounds terrifying.”
“Yeah, well. The good stuff usually is.”
My phone buzzes. For one wild moment, hope flares—maybe it’s Ethan, maybe he’s ready—
Miles
Can we talk?
The muffin turns to cardboard in my mouth.
“What?” Riya notices my face.
I show her the text. Her expression darkens.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Now? After months of nothing?”
“He has impeccable timing,” I mutter.
I stare at Miles’s text. For years, these words would have sent me spiraling. Now they just feel... tired.
I stare at the message. Sure, he said he wanted to meet up, but I didn’t think he was serious.
After avoiding all my messages since summer, now he wants to talk?
“I don’t know if I should answer,” I say.
But even as the words leave my mouth, I know I’m lying. I’m going to answer. Because despite everything—despite Ethan, despite growing, despite finally wanting something real—part of me is still that girl who waited two years for Miles to notice her.
And maybe, I need to face her before I can move forward.
“Piper,” Riya warns.
“I know.”
“Do you though?”
What about
Coffee tomorrow? Just to talk.
Harper's asking questions.
My throat tightens.
“Don’t,” Riya says, reading my face. “Whatever you’re considering, don’t.”
“But what if—”
“What if nothing. You don’t owe him anything.”
“It’s not about owing him. Harper’s asking questions. What if she knows something?”
“Knows what?” Riya’s eyes narrow. “What exactly would she know, Piper?”
I look away, heat creeping up my neck. “Just... things.”
“Things.” Her voice goes quiet. “Piper, look at me.”
I force myself to meet her eyes.
“I know there’s more you haven’t told me. About you and Miles.” She sets down her coffee carefully. “Last term, you were... different. After summer. Coming back looking hollow. Jumping every time your phone buzzed.”
I take a deep breath.
“I was scared,” she continues. “You lost weight. It was like watching you fade away, and I didn’t know how to help without pushing you further into whatever was happening.”
Tears prick at my eyes. I hadn’t realized she’d noticed. I thought I’d been so careful, so good at hiding it.
“I wanted to say something,” Riya says softly. “But you seemed so fragile. Like one wrong word would shatter you completely. This term has been better and recently…you’re back to your old self. Better even, happier.”
“Ry...” My voice cracks.
“I’m not asking you to tell me. Not until you’re ready.
” She reaches across the table, covers my hand with hers.
“But I need you to know that whatever happened, whatever you did or didn’t do—I’m here.
No judgment. Just... here. Maybe...” Riya’s eyes light up.
“Maybe this is perfect. Maybe this is your chance to finally close that chapter. To tell him exactly what you should have said months ago.”
“Which is?”
“That you deserve someone who chooses you loudly. Publicly. Without hesitation.” She grins fierce and proud. “Someone who doesn’t make you feel like a secret.”
A tear escapes, sliding down my cheek. “You must think I’m pathetic.”
“I could never think that. I think you’re wonderful. And I think Miles took advantage of that.” She squeezes my hand. “I don’t think you should meet him. But if you need to clear something up, to close that chapter properly... then go. Do what you need to do.”
“Really?”
“Just... be careful. Remember who you are now, not who you were then.” She pauses. “And maybe remember that you have me.”
I swallow hard, throat thick with unshed tears. “Thank you. For seeing it. For not pushing. For... everything.”
“That’s what best friends do.” She signals for more napkins as I wipe my eyes. “So? What’s the plan?”
I type back with shaking fingers.
CC’s tomorrow at 6pm. One hour. That’s it.
Not our spot?
No. CC’s or outside CC’s. Or I’m not coming.
“Too little, too late,” Riya mutters, reading over my shoulder.
“This is probably a mistake,” I say.
“Probably,” she agrees. “But sometimes we need to make mistakes to move forward.”
“Very philosophical.”
“I have my moments.” She pulls out her wallet. “Just promise me something?”
“What?”
“After tomorrow, whatever happens, you’ll stop letting Miles have power over you. You’ll tell him what you need to say, hear what he needs to say, and then you’ll walk away.”
“I promise,” I say, hoping I mean it.
“And Piper? When you’re ready to talk about last term... I’ll be here. With wine and zero judgment.”
Fresh tears threaten. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Sure you do. Now come on, let’s get out of here before I start crying too and ruin my reputation as the tough one.”
We head back into the afternoon sun. I think about Ethan, about trust and honesty, about all the secrets I’m still carrying.
Tomorrow I’ll face Miles. But maybe after that, I’ll finally be ready to stop carrying this alone.
Maybe I’ll finally be ready to tell someone the whole truth.
Just not today.