38. Greyson
When I woke up two mornings later, it wasn’t because of my alarm. I didn’t even know if it was morning yet. All I knew was that the woman beside me was whimpering. True’s head thrashed against the pillow before she jerked onto her side and muffled cries left her throat.
“True, baby, wake up.”
The moan I got in response made panic cloud my other senses. That moan sounded like she was in pain. Like she needed help.
Grabbing my glasses, I hopped out of bed and dropped to my knees by her side. My fingers fumbled with the lamp until a soft glow lit the room.
Then I tried to do the impossible and keep my eyes on her face while they scanned her body at the same time, looking for the source of her pain.
She wasn’t bleeding. Her hands weren’t clutching any part of her in pain. And still, the whimpers and moans continued.
She kept pushing out air through her nose in heavy puffs before whining low in her throat. “No…Promise, please.”
My brow furrowed when I inched closer, trying to make out the mumbled words.
“Please don’t do this to me.”
More panic twisted in my gut when her hand fisted the bottom of her night shirt. Her breathing grew choppier and her face screwed up.
My hand landed against her cheek but she flinched away from my touch the second I made contact. Her eyes were still closed, but tears had started squeezing from the corners, wetting her face while sweat covered her skin.
“No…no…Promise!” She had her shirt balled so tight in her grip, I was waiting for the sound of cotton tearing.
Bile climbed up my throat while I watched her fight. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. Didn’t know how to fix it, and the ache spreading in my chest only punctuated my helplessness.
“Just stay…why are you doing this?” A few silent seconds lapsed into a full minute, and I thought this was finally over, until she cried out, “This is so fucked up! You’re so fucked up for doing this!”
She’d already thrown the cover off of her, but her legs tangled in the sheets and the frustrated groan that followed had me rushing to undo that. I felt useful, like I was finally doing something to help.
Until the sole of her foot connected with my pelvis and it took everything in me not to double over in pain.
“True,” I breathed on a wince. “Tell me what you need, baby. Please.”
She wouldn’t respond. Wouldn’t open her eyes. And when sobs wracked her body to the point that she was hyperventilating, I ran down the hall and woke up the only person I thought could fix this.
“Noah, please.”
He grimaced against the light I turned on in the hall, but looked up at me with concern. “What’s wrong, Grey?” he asked groggily, rubbing at his eyes. “The house on fire or something?”
“It’s True, I don’t know—” was all he let me get out before he jumped up and raced down the hall to my room in just his boxers.
For a while, I stood in his doorway, my breathing ragged and my heart working overtime. I heard True’s sobs intensify, bleeding into my ears and reminding me that I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I didn’t know what she needed. And I let those thoughts get the best of me until quiet replaced the crying. Even then, I didn’t know whether to be relieved or fucking terrified that it was something else now.
My feet carried me back to my room on autopilot, and I stopped at the foot of my bed at what I saw.
Noah had managed to wrap his body around True, enveloping her like a weighted blanket while she cried into his chest.
The talking had stopped. The fighting had stopped. She let him hold her and her defenses weakened little by little.
“It’s okay, mama.” He kissed over her tears and whispered words into her ear I couldn’t hear. But that was the point. They weren’t meant for my ears because he knew they were what True needed. Even half-asleep he knew exactly what she needed and gave it to her without thinking.
I stood there, watching them, until dawn finally broke and a hazy, purple glow settled over the room.
True was sleeping and Noah looked like he was finally getting drowsy again. Every time he blinked, his eyes stayed closed for longer. He still had her wrapped up in him, his arms and legs everywhere she was. It was…intimate. And it felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there. Ignoring the pang in my chest, I walked over to the nightstand, turned off the lamp, and walked into my bathroom.
The first thing I did was snatch off my glasses and cover my face with my hands. “What the fuck was that?” I asked the empty space, rubbing the heel of my hands over my burning eyes. I swore I hadn’t blinked once since I woke up, too busy watching the woman in my bed in fear that I would miss something.
Without my glasses, my reflection was a blur in the mirror. And it was a problem I didn’t rush to correct. Everything was out of focus and it mirrored the thoughts running through my mind. What was wrong with True? And why did helping her come so easily to Noah, but not to me? I bent over the sink and splashed water over my face. The cold spray of the tap washed away some of my lingering panic and I breathed easier after going through the motions of washing my face.
My heart was still pounding too hard, but the outward state of my body felt like mine again.
I put on my glasses, pushing them up my nose and heaved a deep sigh before opening the bathroom door.
True and Noah’s breathing blanketed the room and no other sound came from them. They were sleeping. They were good. I allowed an ounce of relief to work through me before I walked in the closet and got dressed. I didn’t check the jeans I stepped into or the sweater I pulled over my head. As long as I was covered, I didn’t care. I sat down on the ottoman in the center of my closet and realized my hands were shaking when I tried to put on my socks.
“Calm the fuck down, Grey.”
A minute later, I had on my shoes for the day and grabbed a scarf on my way out.
The purple light of dawn had been edged out by orange by the time I was in my room again. Noah was finally asleep and True had her head hidden so deep in his chest that I could barely see her face. With my hands in my pocket, I walked over to the tiny sliver of my king-sized bed they occupied.
My heart rate mellowed out and the tightness left my chest. Finally.
They were okay, I repeated in my head until I believed it. The two people I adored more than myself had each other and they were okay .
On instinct, I bent over and grazed my lips across True’s hair before doing the same thing to Noah’s temple.
Then I made sure I had my phone and walked out the house after grabbing my keys.
It was the first time in two years I hadn’t made coffee at home or made Noah breakfast, but I needed a minute. A few minutes.
It was five-thirty in the morning when I pulled off from our yard. Two hours before I usually got to work. But it would be quiet at the resort. And quiet—away from home—was what I needed right now.