48. True
Something was wrong with Noah.
Aside from the quick smile and kiss he gave me when I walked out of my cabin this morning, he’d been cool and quiet, two words I never associated with this man.
Was he nervous about my reaction to him and Greyson? Why was he gripping my hand like he was in labor? The fingers on my right hand tingled and we hadn’t even made it up the mountain yet.
“Noah, baby, what’s wrong?”
I stopped walking, only a few feet away from where we were supposed to get on the ski lift and raised a brow.
His reflective visor was pushed up on his helmet, giving me a glimpse of the storm clouding his troubled gaze.
Unable to keep the worry out of my voice, I cupped his face and asked, “Is this about what you told me at dinner last night? I told you, I’m happy for you. Both of you.”
Noah didn’t move away from my hold on him, but shook his head just as an attendant tapped his shoulder and asked if we were ready to get on.
He looked apologetic when he pulled his visor down and tugged me toward the lift moving our way. A second later, we turned in time to sit on the chairlift with our poles across our laps. And even though my hands were getting a break from Noah’s iron grip, I could still feel the phantom pressure of his touch through my gloves.
What was he thinking about?
After he lowered the bar over us, Noah sat back and released a ragged sigh. Then he said four words I never wanted to hear on a normal day. But especially not when I was on a ski lift carrying me away from flat land with no easy escape in sight.
“We need to talk.”
My knee-jerk reaction to that phrase would forever and always be panic.
“Noah, I swear to god, if you brought me up this mountain to break up with me…”
“No,” he rushed to say. “I never want to break up with you, True.”
The quiet sincerity in his voice knocked the wind out of me, but it still didn’t explain why he was acting so…off. “Then what is it, Noah? I’m worried about you.”
Another heavy sigh escaped him as the vastness of the snow covered mountains stretched in front of us the higher we climbed.
“We have approximately three and a half minutes left on this lift, so I need you to let me talk. Ask as many questions as you want when we get off.”
My stomach churned, but I nodded even though we were facing forward and he couldn’t see me before uttering lowly, “Okay.”
“I have ADHD, I’m dyslexic, and it took me six years to graduate college. I knew I had ADHD in high school. But I didn’t get tested for dyslexia until my third year of undergrad, so I did bad in a lot of classes before anything changed. Financial aid wouldn’t cover my last year and a half, so my parents had to take out extra loans to help me. My mother was throwing it in my face when you met her in the dressing room. But I paid them back, Red. Every dollar, plus interest.”
He paused while the ski lift rocked slightly with our ascent and I tried to make sense of why he was telling me all of this. And why now…
Noah cut into my thoughts and my undivided attention swung back to him. I didn’t want to miss anything, whether I knew why he was telling me or not.
“I’ve been too sensitive for my parents my whole life and they always make sure I know it. They resent me because I wasn’t an easy child and they had to give me more support than my older sister. They feel like I owe them loyalty because of that. In my dad’s eyes, I should be in Charlotte, doing whatever he tells me is best. And my mom agrees with everything my dad says, so…”
He went quiet but my thoughts were deafening by this point.
“I’m telling you this because they booked a room at the resort. I knew they would be in town for my sister’s vow renewal, but I didn’t know they would stay a week. And I wanted you to hear this from me.”
Not them, in case they tried to bring it up to belittle me in front of you . He didn’t say it, but it was loud and so fucking clear from his desperate tone. I wanted to throw my arms around him in a hug, but our poles and the bar blocking our torsos made that impossible.
“Noah…none of that stuff changes anything for me.” My throat ached around the angry lump lodged there.
His parents were a different type of vile. I would never be able to erase the urgency in Noah’s tone from my memory while he tried to tell me everything “wrong” with him like they were something worth not loving him for.
I hated that he hadn’t told me those things because he trusted me but because he was scared they were going to be used against him.
“These aren’t dirty little secrets, Noah. I don’t need a warning label to know if I wanna be with you, and I’m sorry anyone ever made you feel like that was the case.”
“You don’t care?”
“Why would I care? You’re still the smartest, kindest and most thoughtful man I’ve ever been with. There’s nothing you can’t do in my eyes. And I love that about you.”
He nodded once, and I couldn’t see his eyes behind his visor but I could tell from the way his body deflated, that he was feeling lighter.
“Okay, let’s talk about something less serious,” I prompted as we came up on our hill.
Cones marked off where we needed to be and Noah lifted the bar in time for us to hop into the powdery snow on our skis.
The momentum from the jump sent us on a short glide toward the sign marking this as a green slope. I was trying to get used to the way the skis felt under my feet when Noah turned to me and said, “I’m thinking about getting nanny cams in the house so I can check on Duchess throughout the day.”
A laugh tumbled out of my throat and I threw my head back, giving myself permission to get lost in the airy feeling after the weight of our conversation. “Oh my god, Noah.”
Two hours and twice as many breaks later, Noah and I were back on the lift. I was out of breath, my legs were gonna hurt for a few days and I fell five times on the easiest slopes on the mountain. And it was the most fun I’d had in a long, long time. I laughed so much I hoped my voice wasn’t hoarse by the time we got to the reception tonight. I didn’t want to meet his sister with no voice.
I studied the clear, blue sky with a serene smile and asked Noah, “Why wasn’t anybody else skiing with us? Is it because it was the bunny slope?”
“Nah, that’s our most popular slope. People come through with their kids, even if they know how to ski. But our season doesn’t officially start until December 1 st this year. That’s why it was just us.”
Oh . When Noah guided us back to the lift, I thought the only reason we’d been able to get on for a ride down was because he worked here. Now I knew it was because nobody else was getting on and off of them.
“That’s why you wanted me to come today?”
“Yea, I wanted some quality time with you before shit got crazy.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
Butterflies went wild in my stomach. It didn’t make sense how much harder I fell for this man every time he opened his mouth. His soft-spoken words had a way of making me forget anything that wasn’t him in the moment.
“You can come back anytime you want, though. You don’t have to stay at the resort to get a day pass for skiing or excursions. I can take you zip lining. And after we get a good storm, snowmobiling in the woods will be the move. So, probably January. It’s my favorite after snowboarding. Greyson is really good at it too. Whatever you want, we can take you.”
Whatever you want.
If he and Greyson weren’t careful, I was going to get addicted to those words.
Before I was ready, it was time to get off the lift and head back inside the lodge.
Noah helped me out of my skis and returned our equipment to the attendant at the rental counter. Before we could make it fully inside, Greyson was greeting us with a pinched expression, his gaze softening a fraction when it landed on us.
“Have fun?” he asked, following us to the bench a few feet from the door. He knelt in front of me and started helping me out of my ski boots without a word while Noah went to the lockers lining the wall to get my shoes and bag.
Greyson helped me unbuckle my helmet, yanked my gloves until my fingers were free and ran his hands up and down my snow pants, over my thighs, trying to make sure I was warm. “I can’t believe Noah got you out of bed this early.”
“Worth it,” I said with a giddy sigh when Noah reappeared with my stuff.
His helmet was still on but he eyed Greyson with a furrowed brow. “Why you out here in the middle of the morning?”
“Because your parents are here and I wanted to warn you.”
My stomach dropped, draining all the warm fuzzy feelings I had in a heartbeat.
Noah went still beside me. “It’s only ten o’clock. Check in is at one.”
Greyson pushed out a heavy breath. “Yea, I know. But they insisted they should still be able to check in early because they went through the trouble of driving from Charlotte to beat the traffic.”
“What traffic?” Noah huffed, his voice cold and harsh. “It’s fucking Bliss Peak.”
With a dry laugh, Greyson rose to his full height and echoed, “Yea, I know.”