3. Mountain Man Has Layers
CHAPTER 3
MOUNTAIN MAN HAS LAYERS
JOANIE
I ’m half an hour late to Foggy’s. I couldn’t figure out what to wear. Do I throw on my usual super casual clothes because this is No Big Deal, or do I dress up a little? You know, show off the assets. And how do I dress up without looking like I’m trying too hard? Am I trying too hard? And who am I trying to impress?
Dorkus Maximus, we all know the answer to that one.
Someone is doing a pretty good job of singing a Weezer song as I spot Colin at the bar talking to Zane. It’s like seeing two bulls in a field having a business meeting. I always thought Zane was a giant, but compared to Colin, he’s almost average. Colin has layers of padding in the best places, but you can see the strength and muscle underneath. His biceps constantly push the limit of whatever shirt he’s wearing, usually something flannel.
If the guy ever decided to wear a henley, the collective hunk-loving population of Wavecrest would not survive it.
I slide up next to Colin at the bar, looking around for familiar faces. I spot my friend Meredith and her boyfriend Stuart pulling some tables together. I didn’t think karaoke would be Meredith’s thing—too many people making unpleasant sounds—so I’m glad to see her here.
Alice, Foggy’s owner and bartender, lays a coaster in front of me. “Hey Joanie, what can I start you off with?”
“Gin and tonic, please. Extra limes.” She pours my drink, a little heavy on the tonic because she’s seen what happens to me when it’s heavy on the gin.
Colin turns away from Zane and gives me a chin nod, like I’m just one of the dudes. Yep, totally friendly. Zane leans over and gives me a wave.
“Hey, Joanie. How’s the new book?”
“Great!” The hero looks like our friend Colin here. You know, totally normal .
Zane leans even farther forward. “Between you and me and this guy,” he jabs his thumb at Colin, “I want to thank you for your last book. Alice read it to me, and it was very...edifying.”
That’s me, the local budget sex therapist. This isn’t the first time someone’s told me that my books have spiced up their sex lives.
“Happy to help.” I tip my glass at him in a salute.
“Maybe I should read that one,” Colin says, and I choke on my drink but recover quickly.
“You mean you haven’t already?” I tease. “Does your relationship need spicing up?” I don’t think Colin’s in a relationship, but the thought has acid churning in my throat that I hide behind a teasing smile.
He raises his right hand and wiggles his fingers. “Nope, we’re doing just fine.” Then he winks at me. The thought of Colin having relations with his hand has my thighs clenching so hard I get a cramp as I snort out a laugh.
Dale, another bartender and the best source of town gossip, comes up to Colin and holds a bar towel in front of his sexy smile. “Put that away, handsome. We don’t need that kind of panty-dropping energy on karaoke night. I can only listen to so many renditions of ‘Pony’ and ‘Wicked Game.’”
Colin ducks his head and spins his glass around on its coaster. Zane laughs. “Leave the guy alone, Dale. He can’t help that he looks like that.”
“We can stop talking about me now.” Colin’s voice is low and...is that a blush?
“Are you blushing?” It’s out before I can stop myself because, really, what’s the point of a filter? I want to run my finger along the pink on his cheeks where they peek above the thick beard. His cheekbones are other-worldly...sharp and dramatic. And familiar.
He clears his throat. “Maybe?” His blush deepens, and I want to buy a sweater in that exact shade of red. He leans both elbows on the bar and covers his face with his hands. “Can we change the subject please?”
“Fine. What are you singing tonight, Face?” I tease, testing out a new nickname for him. The romance writer in me, which, let's be honest, takes up about eighty percent of my personality, always tries to find the perfect nickname for the people around me. And I kinda maybe want Colin to be a bigger part of my life.
He’s so frustratingly hard to read. Sometimes I catch his curious glances at The Base, but I can feel that he keeps himself separate from me more than our other colleagues. I know I can be a little cringe sometimes, but I’m a fucking delightful ray of sunshine.
The thought of him getting up on a stage to sing in front of a crowd scrambles my world view. He’s not an attention-seeker, and there’s no way he likes the spotlight, even if he sometimes sings or hums quietly to himself throughout the workday.
Colin turns towards me, his hair swinging over one eye and his usually lush lips disappearing into a flat line. “Face?” I hold back a wince at his icy voice. “I’m vetoing that one.”
He turns back to his beer and takes a sip. The tense set of his shoulders makes me regret all my life choices of the past five minutes.
“As is your right,” I say brightly, trying to get us back on track. But I don’t understand his aversion to that particular name. He has to know how gorgeous he is. Maybe his good looks make him uncomfortable. But if I was a dude who looked like him, I’d be showing my face off to everybody. Have you seen my face? Look at my face! I’d become completely insufferable.
“Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something better,” I assure him with a pat on his very meaty, very nice shoulder.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” The ice is gone from his voice, filled again with a gentle warmth. I could write a whole sonnet on the way he cocks his eyebrow at me.
“So, Mr. Nickname As Yet To Be Determined, what are you going to sing tonight?” I joke, because there’s no way.
“My song choice is a surprise.” His eyes glimmer with a little bit of smug mischief.
“Wait, what? You’re really getting up there? I thought you were joking.” A snapshot of big mountain man Colin taking the stage and crooning into a microphone flashes in my head, and parts of me squeeze together that probably shouldn’t while I’m in public.
“You’ll have to wait and see. What about you? Changed your mind about singing?”
“Nope. I like all the people here and want them to keep liking me.” Nobody wants to hear too-loud me grab a microphone. My throat tightens just thinking about it.
Dale leans his elbows on the bar. “You two should do a duet. It would be the cutest thing ever.” Dale just got engaged to his long-time boyfriend, so everything is happy and relationshipy with this guy.
Colin stares at me like he’s considering it, and I get lost for a moment. But I shake my head. “I don’t want to bring him down with my wounded goose voice.” He laughs and winks at me before taking a sip of his beer. That wink does unmentionable things to my insides. Things that will probably go in my next book.
COLIN
Sitting next to Joanie, having a conversation with her, one that verges on flirting...it tears apart all the effort I’ve put into keeping my distance. I want to be as close to her as I can get, if the way I’ve been abusing my dick in the shower every morning is any kind of sign, but things would get beyond awkward if all my secrets came out.
Do I want to get up there and sing my heart out to her? Kind of yes. Can I afford for her to look into my eyes and stare at my face for the length of a song and have everything click in her brain? I’m not sure I’m ready to risk it. But she’s worth it , my stupid heart says.
Stuart manages to find a table for The Base members, and Joanie sits across from me, next to Tien. He’s a web developer for a company in Atlanta who’s been a member of our little coworking community almost since the beginning. His wife, Mindy, sits on the other side of him.
Mars is next to me, and I hope he manages to hold onto his drink so I don’t get a lap full of beer. I like the guy, but he’s a walking disaster. A sitting one too. His eyes are glued to the door, and when it swings open, he almost knocks over his glass, as expected. Luckily, I’m fast enough to catch it before it spills. We’ve all learned to give Mars a wide berth, poor schmuck.
Ivy, a newer member, walks over to the table and sits next to Mars, giving each of us a smile in greeting. And now I understand why Mars is even more of a disaster tonight than usual. He’s not looking anywhere but at Ivy. I feel you, buddy.
I turn back to the conversation Joanie’s having with Mindy. “Oh my god, I’m a huge fan,” she gushes to Joanie. I smile into my beer. Joanie’s just...Joanie, so seeing someone fangirl on her is amusing. “I have all your books, including the first series. So hot.” My hand tightens around my beer.
“Thanks. Can I tell you a secret? I wasn’t sure what kind of love stories I wanted to write, and I just kind of fell into billionaire romance. I think I was inspired by all the super sexy models in suits I came across when browsing the stock photos sites.”
I take another sip of beer, my attention focused on Joanie. Mindy puts her chin in her hand, completely invested in Joanie’s every word.
“So why did you switch to mountain men? Not that I’m complaining,” she hastens to say. “I love those big, growly grumps.”
“She really does,” Tien mutters with an exaggerated frown.
“I lost interest in the billionaires and felt inspired to write big, gruff men.” Joanie’s eyes flick to me then back to Mindy. There’s no ignoring the blush that takes over her face, and she’s making it awfully difficult to stay away from her.
JOANIE
Colin’s name gets called for karaoke, and I watch him amble to the stage. I still don’t believe it. He’s not shy, but he’s not the most outgoing person I know. And I can’t picture him singing the usual karaoke offerings.
“This goes out to all my coworkers,” he says into the mic. A small cheer goes up from our table. Before the opening notes of whatever song he’s picked start, he strips his flannel shirt off, revealing his dark gray T-shirt.
My jaw unhinges, and I don’t think I’m the only one. If there was a contest for hottest thicc boy, Colin would win in a landslide. If his T-shirt was sentient, it would whimper at being stretched so hard over his biceps and chest. Colin’s a slab, with a belly and a defined chest. I want to beg him to smother me.
Behind the bar, Alice gives a two-fingered whistle, and a table of women in the corner start hooting and hollering. It’s like Harry Styles got up there, but Colin’s the size of three of him.
Then the opening notes of Dolly’s “9-to-5” start, and the place loses its collective mind. The man can sing, and this is obviously not his first time singing this song because there’s choreography. Mindy and I glance at each other then stand up. I cup my hands around my mouth and don’t stop hooting and hollering for the whole song.
His hip movements alone might make me faint. I’m going to need more alcohol. Unexpected tears clog my throat when the rest of the bar starts singing along. A room full of people belting the same song never fails to get me choked up.
The song ends but the applause and shouting don’t. Colin bows several times then does a cute oh go on wave with his hand. He gives the mic to the emcee and heads back to the table. I’m still clapping and bouncing on my feet, overcome with the strangest feeling that I have to show him how great he was up there. I have to do …something.
So I do.
COLIN
I reach our table, and everyone is still clapping and cheering, but I can’t keep my eyes off of Joanie. I can feel my blood pumping, adrenaline coursing through my veins as her arms fly around my neck, and she hugs me with surprising fierceness.
My brain goes a little fuzzy while my dick jumps in excitement. Yes, now please , he says. Joanie’s pressed to me, her warm breath against my neck. “Oh my god, that was amazing. I’m sorry I ever doubted you,” she shouts. My hands are at her waist, trying not to knead the soft flesh while pulling her closer.
I know the instant she realizes what she’s doing. Her body stills, but she doesn’t pull back right away. Thank the cosmos for small mercies. I need more of that Joanie warmth. I give her waist one last squeeze, testing if she wants to keep the hug going or end it. Either way, these few seconds are the best I’ve had in a long time.
She pulls back, looking at my throat instead of my face, tugging her sweater back into place. The sweater I had wrapped in my fists two seconds ago. The one I’d like to see on my bedroom floor. I swallow heavily. “Your turn. What are you going to sing?”
“If you think I’m brave enough to follow that performance you’re out of your beautiful noggin.”
My first instinct is to duck my head and hide behind my hair. But I just had Joanie fucking Ferrell in my arms so I can embrace a moment of braveness. I cock an eyebrow at her, a smile starting to overtake my face. “Beautiful, huh?”
“Oh shut up, you know what you look like—we talked about this. You are objectively hot. Get over yourself.” She waves her hand up and down my body like my physical appearance offends her. My smile spreads even wider.
Are we flirting? This is flirting, right? Is it working?
Joanie’s eyes open wide and her mouth pops open. She smacks me in the shoulder. “Holy shit, I just thought of the perfect nickname for you.” I should probably be afraid of the gleeful look on her face. “Pipes. Yes, it’s perfect. Because nobody knew you had such a set on you. Get it?” She’s practically dancing with how pleased she is.
“Cinnamon Roll is another option, but that’s a mouthful.” Her hands make a ba-da-ching movement that makes me laugh.
“Pipes…I’ll allow it.” My cheeks are going to cramp from trying to look serious.
Stuart pops up next to us, startling me. Or maybe he’s been standing there the whole time. “A couple of us are going to play pool. You in?” he asks both of us. Joanie’s eyes light up even more.
“Hell yes. Come on, Pipes, let’s play some pool.” She grips my forearm and drags me towards the tables in the back.
“So we’re really doing this Pipes nickname?” I tease.
“Yeah, congratulations. Don’t abuse the privilege.”
“Is it because that’s the best karaoke performance you’ve ever witnessed?” I know I’m fishing at this point, but I can’t stop bantering with her. It earns me an eye roll, and my smile is so wide that it’s painful. With a couple beers in me, and the adrenaline from singing leaving my body, I feel loose-limbed and a little topsy-turvy. Like I’m on a spinning teacup ride, and Joanie is the one spinning me around. Like at any moment I’ll collapse from the sheer fun I’m having.
Flirting is fun. Flirting with Joanie is like going to Disneyland.