Chapter Six Marius
Marius woke up to sunshine in his eyes and groaned.
He turned and buried his face against Carden’s back.
There was a perfect little constellation of freckles or birthmarks below his right shoulder.
He kissed every single one of them until Carden made content noises.
He smiled against Carden’s skin. Flashes of last night came back to him.
Carden really was fucking lovely. Marius felt giddy with the feeling of having him close.
He kissed up Carden’s shoulder to entice him to turn around so he could get at his lips.
“I’m sleeping,” Carden mumbled.
“Are you sure?”
“Why? What would I be doing when I wasn’t sleeping?” Carden asked, and Marius could hear the smile in his voice.
“Hmm, you could be doing me,” Marius whispered in his ear and then nibbled it gently.
Carden shuddered. “I’m not sure if I remember how to top,” he joked, but there was something in his voice that Marius didn’t like.
He wanted to pull Carden around and look at him, but then he rethought that.
Maybe it would be easier for Carden to open up if Marius didn’t stare at him. Didn’t see his face.
“Has it been that long?” Marius asked playfully. “I think it’s like riding a bike. You can’t really forget how it’s done.”
Carden wriggled a bit, and Marius put his arm around his hip to pull him closer. He liked the warmth and closeness and the feeling of Carden’s soft, pale skin against his own.
“It has been a while,” Carden answered eventually.
“Your last boyfriend didn’t like to be fucked?”
“He didn’t.” Carden’s tone was clipped. “I don’t really want to talk about him, okay?”
“Fine with me,” Marius said and then kissed Carden’s shoulder again because it was right there and he had easy access to it. And it was lovely, so fucking lovely, he wanted to write a song about it. If he did, his band would give him shit for it, but whatever. “This is an open invitation.”
“Hmm?”
“You fucking me, me having your gorgeous cock inside me. I mean, as soon as you say the word, I will spread my legs for you,” Marius said with just a bit of a leer to take the seriousness out of the conversation.
He meant it, but he didn’t want to force what seemed now to him a heavy topic this early in the morning.
“I’ll let you know when the mood strikes,” Carden said. “You have anywhere to be today?”
“No. We have two weeks off now to come down from the tour and to write more songs, I guess.”
Carden turned around then and looked at him. His blond hair was so pale it nearly looked white in the soft morning light. It was soft to the touch and tousled. Marius wanted to eat him up.
“You write most of the songs, right?”
“Yeah,” Marius answered.
“Will you write about me?” Carden asked, shyly.
“Probably, most likely.” Creamy skin, those haunting eyes. Yeah, there was a song in his somewhere, about all these things he felt when he looked at Carden. When he was close to this lovely boy.
“I never had a song written about me. A girl once wrote me a poem when I was fourteen, but nothing ever came of it.”
“Obviously,” Marius replied. “Was it a good poem?”
“It was very heartfelt, I guess? And it rhymed.”
“Oh well, if it rhymed, it must have been pretty good,” Marius said.
Carden grinned. “I bet you didn’t write a single poem that rhymed in class. I bet you thought that was overdone and stupid.”
“We didn’t write that many poems, but we had to write a Christmas poem once. And you are correct. It didn’t rhyme. It was the only poem that didn’t rhyme,” Marius said.
“Did you get shit for it from the other students?” Carden asked.
“Not really. No one really bothered with me. I guess by then they were used to my weirdness,” Marius replied. He had been bullied as a kid and as a teenager at school, yes, but weirdly enough not for his grades, which were pretty good, or the shit he said in class.
“You didn’t have many friends at school, did you?”
“No, mostly I hung out with kids from other schools or who I met in parks or record stores,” Marius replied. “How about you? I bet everyone loved you.”
Carden smiled. “Yes, they did, because I’m pretty. Pretty people are always popular no matter how shitty their personalities are.”
Which was sadly true, but he didn’t think Carden of all people had a shitty personality or had been mean to his fellow students.
“I don’t have a shitty personality,” Carden continued. “I’m also talented.”
“You are,” Marius said, because those last words sounded like Carden was making fun of himself, and Marius didn’t like it.
“Thanks.” Carden kissed his nose. “Wanna get up and shower? Have some coffee, maybe? I do have tea, if you prefer. I read somewhere that it’s better for your voice.”
“Coffee is absolutely fine,” Marius replied. Not that he needed it to get going. He was already wide awake.
“No shower?” Carden teased.
“Is it bad that I kind of got used to not showering that often when we were on tour?”
“You’re not on tour anymore, and we sweated a lot last night.”
“You did most of the work,” Marius replied. A picture of Carden riding his cock flashed through his mind and made him groan. For the first few thrusts, Carden had been watching Marius’ cock disappearing inside his body; his eyes had been trained on it. It had made Marius even harder.
“I did,” Carden said, “so I need a shower for sure.” He climbed out of bed, and Marius watched him walk to the bathroom door in all his naked glory. Ass and back on full display.
“Fuck,” he said and then laughed because he couldn’t help himself. He was just so fucking happy.
◆◆◆
The apartment he shared with the twins smelled dusty and unused.
As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he had wanted to open it right back and walk to his car, get in, and drive to Carden’s place.
Carden’s place had smelled like coffee, faintly like paper and paint, and them.
The bed was still a mess when Marius made himself leave.
And now he was back at this place that neither of them considered home, and he didn’t want to be here.
The first thing he did was open the windows; that would get rid of the smell, at least. He wondered where Bennet and his brother were and why they weren’t here.
Probably because they disliked the place as much as he did.
He stared out the window for a moment and then sighed.
“You’re being ridiculous,” Marius said to himself and then started on his laundry.
Midway through throwing things into the machine, his phone rang. He smiled when he saw the caller ID.
“Miss me already?” He asked.
“Is it stupid?” Carden asked, sounding unsure and shy and vulnerable.
“No, it’s not, or if it is, then, well, I’m sitting in that boat right beside you,” Marius replied. “When I came home, I resented it for a minute there,” he added. It was kind of a confession, but it didn’t feel like one because he was telling it to Carden.
“You shouldn’t resent your home,” Carden replied. “It’s your castle after all. The only place you can really be you.”
“Well, I’d rather be me with you right there beside me,” Marius replied.
“For the first time in a long time, I didn’t resent my shitty studio,” Carden said, and before Marius could reply to that, he went on, “It’s because I can still smell you on my sheets, and your mug is still in my sink, and your presence kind of lingers here, right beside me. I like it.”
“You resented your studio until now?” Marius asked.
“Maybe not resented, but it never felt like a place to make a home,” Carden answered.
“I’m glad you’re not feeling about your place that way anymore.
I like it. It seems I like it better than my own right now.
” None of them had meant for this place to be a home.
It was just a roof they could sleep under when they were in the city, between tours, between shows.
It had made sense to rent something cheap together when they had been at the beginning of their careers.
And this was the cheapest place with a washing machine they could find.
“Maybe you should come over then, soon,” Carden replied.
“How soon?”
“I don’t know, right now.” Carden said. They had spent the whole morning and afternoon together. It was six in the evening right now, and Marius had been home not even an hour.
“I’ll just finish throwing in the laundry.”
“Don’t start it,” Carden said. “Because I don’t think you will be home to hang it up to dry.”
“And why wouldn’t I get home to do it?” Marius teased.
“Because you will be tied to my bed? Or pinned under me, whatever you prefer.”
“Maybe we can take turns doing the pinning?” Marius said.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Carden replied and then hung up on him.
Marius threw his dirty laundry in the hamper, grabbed clean clothes, closed the window, and nearly ran down the stairs to his car.
◆◆◆
“You look fancy,” Armin said as he looked Marius up and down. They hadn’t seen each other in over a week. “A bit too fancy for a brunch with your bandmate.”
“I hadn’t had time to do laundry,” Marius replied. It was Monday, and he had spent the whole weekend with Carden, mostly naked. He hadn’t needed clothes. The only clean ones were the fancy ones. Armin wasn’t really upset that Marius cleaned up and looked good. Armin was fishing.
“I know, I saw your shit in the hamper when I crashed at our place,” Armin said, but it was also an invitation to spill all his secrets willingly.
Marius gave him a look. “I’m starving.”
“Did something strenuous over the weekend?” Armin asked in his most innocent voice.
Marius was on to him, and they both knew he would spill about Carden anyway, sooner or later, but Marius was determined to make it later.
He waved down a waiter, and Armin sighed mock suffering and then perused the menu. Marius already knew what he wanted.
“The pancakes, the fruit salad, coffee, and orange juice, please,” he rattled off his order.