Chapter 27 #2
Dawn holds out her arms and spins around, showing off her ruby-red A-line skirt with the bow around her waist. It complements her new hair color, which is now a deep red brown.
Over the years, Dawn has sported every color in the book—red, jet black, platinum blonde.
But she’s stuck within the spectrum of red the longest.
She freezes, examining my office makeover. “Still looks like a Powerpuff Girl threw up in here.” She holds up her hands before I can answer. “Is Spencer taking over this office now?”
I roll my eyes as I exhale. “No. She’s not.”
“Then she got you good.”
“It was somewhat deserved.” I shrug.
She curls her lips in amusement. “Glad you’re so self-aware these days.”
“Mhm.”
“Anyway, why am I here? I got your email requesting I grace you with my presence.” She pulls out the chic pink-colored, golden-legged chair across from my desk and flutters her lashes. “I’m here. I’m gracing.”
“How close are you with Julia?” I ask right away.
Dawn’s brows lift into wide arches, surprise painting her face. “Much closer than you are.”
“I’m trying to fix that. I’ve been a little?—”
“Cold? Distant? Rude? Spiteful?” she helpfully supplies.
I level a stare. “I was going to say busy.”
“I think my suggestions were more accurate.”
Are all the working women in my life so lippy? Goodness fuck. “Anyway, I want to do something nice. I need a big gesture that can begin to make up for my behavior. Any ideas?”
Dawn crosses her legs and leans back in the chair. She’s quiet as her high-heeled foot bounces in place. “Her charity event,” she finally says.
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you get your invitation? It’s this weekend. Julia is hosting her first big charity event for post-prison rehabilitation.”
“No.” By no, I mean I haven’t checked my mail in weeks. There’s a mound of envelopes by the entry table I have yet to open. “I wonder why Dad didn’t mention it to me?”
“Probably gives you too much time to plan an excuse. I think his new strategy is confronting you the day before. Your support would mean a lot. They’re trying to raise twenty million dollars in one night. It’s a huge undertaking and she’s nervous.”
I place my forehead in my palm. Dammit. I’ve been the worst son.
“I’m going. I’ll definitely be there. I’ll buy Julia a big congratulatory present for hitting her goal.
” If she can’t hit the number on her own, I’ll cover the rest. “What kind of cars is she into? Do they still make Ferraris in pink?”
Dawn gives me a look that screams, you dumbass . “Maybe try the Barbie dealership and see if Mattel can make you one to scale.”
“Ha-ha,” I deadpan.
“You know what Julia would really like?” Leaning forward, she taps the edge of my desk. “Quality time. She just wants to be friends, Nathan. Despite what your incorrect intuition is telling you, she’s not marrying your dad for money.”
I exhale deeply. “It’s weird though, right? A thirty-year age gap? I mean ten or less I’d understand. But what the hell do they see in each other?”
Dawn shows me a knowing smile, the same one she wears when she’s about to mother me. “It’s not about what they see. It’s about what they feel . When they’re together, they’re happy. That’s all that matters to them. Or have you forgotten how good ‘happy’ feels?”
My lips twitch into a grin, my poker face betraying me. “I’ve been a little happier lately.”
“Hm. I wonder why?” Dawn asks with such sarcastic flair. She purposely glances at Spencer’s empty desk. “Where is your assistant today?”
“Sick. I was thinking of taking off work and making sure she’s okay. She sounded pretty rough on the phone.”
“That’s a good idea. Love sickness has no cure. You can only treat the symptoms.” Dawn winks.
I flatten my expression. “Careful with the L word. That’s…not what this is.”
“Then what is it?”
I take a moment to consider. “To be honest, I don’t know.”
“What’s holding you back?” Dawn folds her fingers together like a professor who is quizzing me and already knows the answer.
I wet my lips, preparing myself for the dreaded question I’ve had in my mind since the moment I met Spencer.
“Do you think the closer I get to another woman, the more I’ll lose Elise and Claire?
” I tap my temple twice. “I made Spencer an Arnold Palmer the other day. I brought it to her by the pool and said, ‘I made your favorite.’ She had no clue what I was talking about?—”
“Because that was Elise’s favorite drink.”
I nod sullenly. “Memories are starting to get muddled the more time I spend with Spencer. I don’t think I’m ready to…lose them.”
“Nathan,” Dawn says, leaning forward once more.
She reaches over the desk holding her hand out, asking for mine.
I place my hand over her warm fingertips and lightly squeeze.
“I promise I’m not saying this to hurt you, but you already have.
You lost them. And it’s awful and unfair.
But when you accept that, you can start to heal. ”
I try to pull away but she grasps on tighter. “Don’t,” I demand.
“You lost love, but there’s more to find.
And remember, every day you keep those barricades around your heart up, you’re depriving someone of you .
The real you. The ‘you’ we all miss. The ‘you’ we’ve seen glimpses of now that Spencer’s come around.
You’ve always been a selfless guy. If you can’t try for you, then try for her . ”
The best part of me wants to yank Spencer into a fairy-tale romance and see her eyes light up when I tell her I’m never letting her go.
The worst part of me is bitterly angry that lately, when I close my eyes, I don’t see Elise’s big, emerald-green eyes.
I don’t see her light freckles. Sometimes I forget what she looks like.
But every curve, dimple, and angle of Spencer’s face is etched into my mind in crystal clear high-definition.
I rise, pulling myself free of Dawn’s embrace. I hold my breath as I make my way to my piano bench. I’m relieved when I lift the lid and it still stands lopsided. Pushing the papers aside, I find the photo I took of Elise and Claire on the day I proposed.
Returning to my desk, I place the picture on top of my desk, then retrieve a roll of tape from my top drawer. Of course all my office supplies have been replaced. Even my scotch tape is now in a glittery-pink dispenser. Damn, Spencer is thorough.
I tape two corners. Satisfied the picture is secure, I look up to meet Dawn’s stare. “There. Now I have a reminder.”
“Okay,” she says simply, flashing me a tight smile. I can’t tell if she’s proud of me, or disappointed.
“I’m still going to go check on Spencer though. Could you see if my dad could take the meeting with Casey at ten? Today’s his first day. I don’t want to ditch him entirely.”
She nods. “James’s schedule is open this morning. I’ll let him know.” She gets up, takes two steps, then spins around. Planting her ass right back down, she looks me dead in the eye. “I need to tell you something.”
I wave her off. “My dad already told me about his dirty dealings with Casey. Don’t worry, I fully intend on setting him straight?—”
“No, Nate. I saw Claire a couple weeks ago at that spa day. Charlie invited her best friend to join us.”
I nearly choke on the silence between us. A medley of emotions rips through me. Fear, excitement, jealousy…but anger most of all. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Is it my job to?”
I glare at her, clenching my jaw. I take a few calming breaths and remind myself that my anger is misplaced. Dawn didn’t take Claire from me. Ruby did. Purposely warming my icy tone, I ask, “How is she doing? Did she ask about me?”
“She didn’t seem to recognize me.”
“You were a platinum blonde when Elise died.”
Dawn bobs her head in agreement. “But she looked happy and healthy. She and Charlie get along really well.”
Shock still trembles through me in waves, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. “Charlie and Claire…I…” How did the PI not inform me of this? Probably because he’s only tracking her deadbeat father and conniving grandmother. “Does Spencer know who she is to me? Does she know about Elise?”
“No. It wasn’t my place to say. But it’s going to come out eventually, don’t you think? Better she hears this story from you.”
I nod. I’ve put this off for so long, but now it’s inevitable. It’s time.
“Nathan, I know what’s going through your head. Just try to think of how this impacts Charlie.”
“Charlie?” I question, my face screwing up in bewilderment. “What does that mean?”
“Imagine how hurt Charlie will be if she thinks your friendship is just a ploy to get close to Claire. Take it from a mother of a daughter, girls her age are like crows. They’ll take grudges to the grave. You understand?”
She effortlessly reads my mind. Admittedly, the first thing I thought of was telling Charlie she should invite her best friend over to her cool, new house.
But Ruby would never allow that. In fact, if Ruby knew Charlie was living with me, she probably would take Claire away from Charlie.
Ruby’s favorite thing to do is wait until a powerful bond is formed, then hack away at it with a machete.
“I understand.”
“Good.” Dawn rises again, this time smoothing out her skirt. “I’ll get that meeting on the calendar. I’ll email the new guy too and let him know what’s going on.”
“Thank you,” I say distractedly, eyes fixed on the little redheaded girl in the photograph.
“What’s his last name? We have about six Caseys in the directory.”
“He’s probably not in the directory yet. Casey Conrad.” When I finally pull myself away from the photo, Dawn is staring at me with wide, panicked eyes.
“Conrad?” She’s not blinking. “Do you happen to know if he played football in college?”
“No clue. He graduated from UNLV about five years after me. Yet another reason Dad thought we’d hit it off. Why?”
“No reason. It’s just strange.” Dawn suddenly looks weary. Like a fresh wave of worry just capsized her boat.
“What’s strange?”
She lifts one shoulder. “I’m praying it’s a coincidence, but I have a voodoo doll named Casey Conrad.”
I quirk one eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little old for voodoo dolls?”
She cuts me a look. “Did you just call me old?”
“What? No. I said, aren’t you a little old for voodoo dolls ? As in childish revenge.” She answers my question with more silence and more of that piercing, unblinking stare. “You have a Nathan Hatcher voodoo doll, don’t you?” I cringe.
“Yes. But don’t worry, I don’t poke him much.” She shows me a villainous smile. “I have work to do. Tell Spencer I hope she feels better.”
With that, Dawn rushes out of my office the same way she always does when she’s setting off to put out a fire.