Chapter 29
Nathan
W hat the fuck just came over me? I went too far. She’s not going to forgive me for this one.
I sit on the pool ledge with my legs in the water.
Even at night, with my shirt off, it’s too fucking hot.
The pool is warm and doesn’t offer any real relief from the arid heat.
I’d be far more comfortable inside my air-conditioned house.
Except, I’m stuck. She told me to leave, but how can I?
I’m halfway between my house, where I should go, and Spencer’s bedroom, where I want to be. I’m in my own personal purgatory.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
Spencer, I care about you a lot, but I never dealt with the grief of losing the woman I loved, and the child who called me Dad.
I skipped denial, dove into anger, dabbled in bargaining. Depression is where I really shined. I showcased my despair by isolation and assholery, as Spencer would call it. But somehow everything fell off the rails at acceptance.
Spencer, I’m scared if I let myself fall for you, like I know I could, I’ll lose what’s left of Elise.
I shouldn’t be happy, replacing my family with a new one. I don’t deserve it. Not when I failed Elise in every way imaginable. Not when her daughter is being raised by one of her sworn enemies.
Spencer, I ? —
Mweep.
Puzzled, I look up to find the source of the squeak. What the shit?
Spike stands at the edge of the pool, clear on the other side. His eyes are down and he’s ducking his head trying to touch his nose to the water. He can’t quite reach.
“Spike,” I command. “Back up.”
He ignores me because…well, he’s a guinea pig, and as far as rodents go, Spike is not the brightest. I watched him once as he chewed on his paw, screeching in agony as he inflicted his own pain.
Ducking his head again, he tries to lap at the water.
“Spike! It’s chlorinated, you dodo bird.”
By now his paws are wrapping around the ledge, showing off his creepy hand-talons.
Gross. I pull myself up, deciding who to alert to this potential disaster.
Spencer would probably like to see me floating face down in this pool at the moment, so I opt for Charlie.
I bet she’s still awake. We’re going to have a serious talk about double-checking that Spike’s cage is locked.
Then again, he’s probably only out because I accidentally left the front door of the guesthouse open when I was bouncing back and forth all night between taking care of Charlie and Spencer.
I steal one more glance at the multicolored rat-pig as I yank my feet out of the water. He’s not wearing his diaper. “You shit all over my pool deck, didn’t you?” That would be the perfect insult to the injury of this night.
It’s going to be fine. As soon as Spencer’s feeling better, I’m going to beg her on both knees to stay.
I don’t know what dumbfuckery came over me, but the last thing I want is for Spencer and Charlie to leave.
I’m not a perfect man, but no one else has made me want to do better.
Around Spencer I feel jealous, on edge, constantly confused and out of control, but the point is I’m feeling .
And for that, I should go fetch the moon she hung.
My back is turned, and I’m on the bottom step leading up to the main house when I hear a distinct plop. I whip around to see a small, dark shape floating back to the pool surface. Guinea pigs can swim, right?
Spike breaks the surface just long enough to let out a few mweep , mweep , mweeps , before he’s swallowed up by the pool again. He doesn’t resurface this time.
Oh, fuck me. Jeans still on, I sprint to the edge and dive into the pool.
Opening my eyes in the chlorine water, I ignore the momentary burn.
There he is. Almost at the bottom, I scoop Spike up before he hits the pool floor.
Kicking as hard as I can, I hold him above my head to get him oxygen as fast as possible.
Hand around his belly like a claw, I keep him above the water until I can get us to the closest ladder.
After setting him down on the pool deck, he collapses. His belly is swollen, probably having taken a few glugs of water, but I think I got to him in time. I hope. I’m on my knees growing impatient, waiting for him to breathe. But his eyes are closed and he’s too still.
For fuck’s sake, do not let tonight be the night Charlie’s beloved pet dies. She’ll never forgive me.
“Spike,” I growl. “Get up.” I poke his swollen belly hard with two fingers, trying to see if I can push the water out. “ Please. I swear I will never insult you again. I will find a ten-acre strawberry patch and make you the king. Just please for the love of God?—”
Mweep.
Music to my fucking ears. “You dumb little daredevil—” I stop, remembering my promise as Spike begins to sneeze uncontrollably. Or maybe he’s coughing. I don’t know but he’s alive.
Setting my disdain aside, I pick him up and hold him against my bare chest. He’s shivering, trying to shake off the excess water.
Using my finger, I squeegee around his eyes and nose to help clean him up.
His little heart is going berserk, probably knowing how close he came to death.
Certain he’s okay, I try to set him back down, but he clings to me, desperate to stay in my embrace.
“Ah!” I hiss as his sharp nails scratch up my chest. “Fine, fine. You get two minutes, a thorough blow-drying, then you’re going back in your cage. We’re not ever going to tell Charlie what happened here tonight.”
I lie down on the concrete, letting Spike nestle onto my chest. It’s not long before his panicked breathing slows and his pulse calms. It’s like he’s steadying himself against my heartbeat. Curling himself up, his breathing falls into a steady rhythm and I can’t find it in me to disturb him.
I relax against the concrete as the pool lights switch to night mode. With everything low-lit, I can almost see the stars. I stay focused on the tiny dots of bright lights against the sky as my nemesis rests his disgusting wet nose uncomfortably close to my nipple.
“I got you, buddy,” I mutter, stroking his back. “But be warned, if you shit on me, you’re going swimming again.”