Chapter 39
Nathan
M y phone lights up with a bright glare. Dammit , I left it on the dresser. It’s on silent but keeps going off, making my dark bedroom look like a rave. Carefully, I drag my body away from Spencer. She’s in such a deep sleep, she’s not remotely disturbed when I climb out of bed.
Grabbing my phone, I pad quietly out of the room. Thanks to the blackout shades, I had no clue it was already morning. Hodge has been calling every two minutes since six forty-five this morning. My stomach twists as I call him back. It can’t be good news if he’s blowing up my phone.
“Hey, boss.”
“What the hell’s going on? Eight missed calls.”
“I found something you need to know, but because of who is involved, I didn’t want to email. No paper trail.”
“Talk,” I grumble as I open my fridge, fishing out the jug of orange juice before grabbing a small glass.
“Ruby met with that contact again. I didn’t recognize him at first, but I asked another PI buddy of mine. It’s Zavala. An enforcer for the cartel. They send him all over to collect serious debts.”
“Serious debts?” I fill my small glass to the brim, as I try to unpack Hodge’s sobering update.
“A lot of cash or heads. Whatever they can pay with.”
“Why the fuck is Ruby meeting with the cartel?”
“I’ll do more digging, but probably because she’s trying to pay off something Peter owes. I bet he went to prison owing them. They got impatient, started harassing Ruby.”
“Who lives with Claire,” I grind out. “They can’t harass a single grandmother and little girl.”
“I don’t think his family situation is consequential.”
My blood goes hot with anger, and dread.
Violent drug cartels don’t get their reputation for mercy.
Whatever Peter got himself into, he got Ruby and Claire involved in as well.
“I remember Elise telling me Peter was an inside man for some crime organization. Is it possible he folded and told LVPD something that put his entire family at risk?”
“Not likely,” Hodge grunts. “Snitches are dealt with swiftly. There are cartel enforcers in every prison you can imagine. If Peter were a snitch, we’d know because he’d be dead. I’d bet my life this is about an unsettled debt. Ruby’s been hitting the ATM almost every two days, collecting cash.”
After a small sip, I slam my glass down on the island. “You’re just telling me this now? I told you to alert me of anything significant?—”
“I didn’t think anything of it until the fourth or fifth time, boss. She’s an old lady. Cash is a thing of the past for us, but baby boomers still like to fill their wallets with bills and butterscotches. I just ID’d Zavala this morning. I’m piecing this all together as you are.”
“Tail them both,” I order. “I want daily reports now. I also want you to keep an eye on Claire. If anyone suspicious sneezes within a mile radius of her, I want to know about it.”
Hodge sighs into the phone. “I mean…”
“What? Spit it out.”
“What’s your budget for this, boss? I’m one man. I’d need at least two more guys on payroll to keep up with all of them.”
Why is this man testing my patience so early in the morning?
“Hodge, let me be clear, when it comes to Claire, I have no budget. Got it? Just get it done. Eyes on everyone. Call me daily.” I hang up, fully aware of my misplaced aggravation.
I grit my teeth, picturing Peter’s face.
How much more damage can this fucker do?
How is his tyranny transcending Elise’s death?
“Good morning.”
“What?” I snap. I spin around to see Spencer cowering in place. “Oh shit,” I breathe out.
She’s only wearing my shirt from last night and her black panties. She must’ve just rolled out of bed and heard me on the phone. “Sorry, I didn’t—” she starts.
“Shh.” I take two paces forward and wrap her in my arms before she can retreat.
Rubbing her back soothingly, I murmur in her ear, “I’m sorry.
So sorry. I got a call that pissed me off.
Didn’t even realize who I was talking to when you came in.
” I kiss the top of her head repeatedly, inhaling the sweet strawberry scent of her hair.
“It’s okay,” she whispers.
“It’s not okay. I won’t allow myself or anyone else to ever speak to you in that tone.” I hook my finger under her chin and guide her gaze upward. “Okay? I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
She smirks. “I snuck up on you. Next time I’ll approach with snacks. Maybe hold out my hand so you can sniff it first.”
“So I’m an animal now? Hilarious.” I tap the tip of her nose and she scrunches her face adorably. She looks so satisfied this morning. I like this look on her.
“What was the call about? Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I regret my answer immediately. I’ve been carrying this on my own for so long, but I’m not sure how to lean on anyone else.
Her smile is half-hearted, but she nods as she pats my elbow reassuringly. “Okay, no problem. Can I make you some breakfast?”
“Wait.” I follow the intuitive tug in my gut. I need to tell her. “Yeah, I want to talk about it.”
We’re both surprised. After a beat, her expression works its way back to neutral. “That’s great too.” She hops up on the kitchen island and lets me wedge myself between her legs.
I hold on to the outside of her thighs, steadying myself. “I had a daughter once. I don’t know how else to explain it. You actually know her. She’s friends with Charlie.”
Spencer ducks her head. “Claire. I just found out she was Elise’s daughter.”
“You did, how?” I tilt my head, trying to remember who said what. I don’t think I ever mentioned Elise had a daughter. It’s not information I offer up easily.
“I talked to Finn.”
“You went to my friend for details about me?” I’m taken aback. That was audacious. Then again it’s Spencer. And I guess I have been a closed book.
She pokes out her tongue. “You’re cute, but not cute enough for me to stalk you like that.
Finn and his wife are good friends with my old boss, Lennox, and her husband, Dex.
I just found out about Claire last night.
I wanted to tell you, but there wasn’t much time for heavy conversations last night. ”
“How are you feeling, by the way?”
She pumps her eyebrows. “Rested and ready for more lessons… professor. ”
My hand scopes up between her thighs. “Yeah?”
She clamps her legs shut tight, preventing me from reaching my intended destination. “First, let’s talk though. What happened with Claire, I don’t fully understand. Why did they take her away?”
“Elise and I were engaged, not married. I always intended to adopt Claire, but getting Peter to sign away his rights was a long battle we were preparing for.”
Spencer blows out a heavy breath. “I hate to say this, but logic tells me… I mean Peter seems like he has the kinds of hobbies that are money motivated. You’re not exactly strapped for cash. You couldn’t pay him off?”
I tuck her hair behind her ear. “You don’t think I tried that?
Peter had a sick obsession with Elise. I don’t understand his sociopathic behavior, but he wanted to own her at all costs.
Not even money could dissuade him. And Claire was a pawn in his game to keep Elise within arm’s reach.
He didn’t care about her, nor did he want to take care of her. ”
“Then I don’t understand. Why didn’t Claire stay with you after her mom passed?”
My throat closes with anguish. “Ruby,” I manage.
“Ruby?” Spencer asks in a high octave. “Sweet grandma Ruby ?”
I gulp down my disgust. “Ruby has a hard time seeing her son for who he is. An addict. An abuser. Her perspective is the world happened to him . She doesn’t expect him to take any accountability for his actions. When he hurt Elise, she told Elise to be a better wife and try not to provoke him.”
“What. The fuck. Who says that to a woman?”
“Peter was all she ever had. I think she needs him to stay a saint in her eyes. And now, Peter’s out of prison, and his past is catching up to him. They’re getting involved with ruthless crooks. Claire might be in danger and I don’t know what the hell to do.”
Spencer smooths the worry wrinkles on my forehead with two fingers. “You miss her enormously, don’t you?”
“I do. But I imagine she hates me now. I told her I’d come back for her and I can’t figure out a way. When it comes to family law, money has no persuasion.”
“What if I invite her over to see Charlie? You guys could talk.”
My palms rest heavy against the tops of her thighs, almost squeezing, like holding on to her is grounding me as I continue down the list of why nothing about this can be handled with reason or fairness.
“Ruby is her legal guardian and has made it clear I’m not to have any contact.
If she were to find out… And besides, I don’t want to use Charlie. I could never do that to her.”
God it feels good to talk about it though. It feels good to talk to Spencer about it. I’ve been holding this all in for so long, I needed the relief. This helps. The care and concern in her eyes are genuine. The way she’s running her fingertips through my hair, comforting me.
“You’re a good man, Nathan. One who’s been through more than his fair share of pain. I’m so sorry.”
I cup her chin, steadying her face. I sweep her lips in a gentle kiss. “I’m in less pain these days.”
“Am I one of the reasons for that?”
I kiss her again, this time with more lust. I pull her bottom lip between mine and savor the feel of her softness—her warmness. “You’re not just a reason. You’re the only reason.”
Reluctantly breaking our kiss, she grabs my cheeks in both hands. “Thank you. For seeing me, even when I didn’t see myself.”
My lips brush her forehead. “We’re going to be okay.”
Spencer nods in agreement. “Anytime you want to see Claire, you let me know. I’m not afraid of Ruby’s reaction. My loyalty is to you. Say the word and I’ll bring her here.”
“Let me think about it.” It’s so tempting, but I’m still not sure how Claire feels.
Three years . She’s not a little girl anymore.
I don’t know what she remembers or what she thinks of me now.
“Hey, this is random, but have you ever seen Claire with a golden locket?” I pat my chest where it used to hang on me.
“It’s small and the chain is kind of thick. I know it’s a long shot but?—”
“Nathan.” Spencer’s eyes water, the reflection of the morning sun gleaming off her pupils. “Is it a locket in the shape of a heart? You gave that to her?”
I nod, hope swelling in my chest.
“She’s never without it. I know that locket well by now.”
Tightening my jaw, I try to control the tremble of my lips. All the emotion I’ve been suppressing for years erupts from the depths I thought I buried them in permanently. “Thank you for letting me know,” I say, weakly.
“My poor guy,” she whispers, touching my cheek. I meet her gaze and she drops her hand. “Or, I didn’t mean my guy. I meant…well, actually I don’t know what we are. It was just an expression…”
“Just an expression? So you don’t want me to be your guy?”
“No, I do. I mean, not yet. Unless you want to? Yes, if you want to, but if not…that’s okay too.” Her eyelids squeeze shut. “ Oh my God ,” she mutters to herself.
A crooked grin creeps over my lips. “You done?”
Eyes still closed, she nods. “Embarrassing myself? Mhm.”
I take her by the hips and scoop her off the counter.
She lands softly on her bare feet. I undo the singular button that’s holding my shirt she’s wearing closed.
Her breasts pop free and my mind goes blank.
All the worry, all the stress, the pain—it’s lighter around Spencer.
It’s easy to feel happy even in the midst of disaster.
“Come.” Clasping her hand, I pull her down the hall back to my bedroom. “Let me show you how yours I am.”