11. Vincent
I knew when Wendy and I finally reunited, it would be intense, but part of my vision did not include her fainting in my arms. Granted, it was almost 4 AM, and we both had, no doubt, long days, but her unconscious body in my arms led me to believe fatigue wasn’t the reason. Wendy never expected me to be here, and quite frankly, I was still surprised I followed through with this plan. But I did it with zero regrets.
I was holding the love of my life again, and I had to make things right. As I looked down at Wendy’s peaceful face, her chestnut hair tumbling onto my limbs, something in me ached. It was a dull yet profound ache of guilt and remorse, of opportunities lost and words unsaid. The silence around us echoed our past—full of whispers we never heard, secrets we never shared. I brushed a lock of hair off her face, the touch eliciting an intense longing within me.
Suddenly, Wendy stirred in my arms, her eyes fluttering open. She stared at me for a moment, confusion etching her features. Then, realization dawned upon her, and she jolted upright so suddenly that she almost fell out of my grasp. She scooted away until her back hit the wall, clutching a hand over her heart.
“Vincent?” she breathed, her voice barely audible. But I heard it all too loud in the silence of the night.
“Yes.” My heart pounded as I watched a myriad of emotions flitted across her face—surprise, disbelief, fear, anger...and perhaps a glimmer of hope?
“W-What are you doing here?” she stammered, wiping the fresh sweat coating her forehead.
“Here, let me get you water,” I said, standing.
“No!” Wendy cleared her throat. “Don’t fucking move.”
“Wendy.” I frowned while I motioned to her trembling figure.
“I don’t need you to get me anything. What I need you to do is get out. And never come back.”
“You don’t mean that.” I stepped closer, and Wendy’s body recoiled against the off-white wall, stopping me from advancing. Her chocolate brown eyes dropped to the floor, refusing to meet mine, and it reminded me of our last night together. That red blindfold burned a permanent image in my brain, and whenever I remembered staring at her, all I wanted was to see her eyes one more time. Now, watching Wendy refusing to lift her orbs from the floor, the memory became a painful reality.
“You abandoned me three years ago.” Wendy’s eyes finally lifted, and they morphed into fiery daggers. “Stick to your plan and leave me again.”
“Wendy, you don’t mean this. I know you.” I pointed a finger at her forehead but didn’t move closer.
“Yes, I do. Now get the fuck out of my house.” The words exited her mouth breathily, still not attempting to stand.
“Wendy, you don’t mean that. Please, let me explain.” My feet moved before my brain could stop me this time, and I reached for her. My fingertips brushed Wendy’s arm, and she yelped, jolting me backward.
“No! No.” Her eyes darkened, and her chest heaved. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever fucking touch me. Not after what you did to me. Put me through. You don’t get to have that part of me. Ever again.”
I swallowed, the lump in my throat growing as reality sank in. Wendy wasn’t welcoming me back with open arms as I had foolishly hoped. She was shoving me away, her words like sharpened daggers stabbing my heart.
“I didn't want any of this, Wendy.” I exhaled. “I wanted to protect you.”
“Protect me?” she scoffed. Her lips curled into something between a sneer and a grimace. “By abandoning me in the most humiliating way possible?” Wendy’s hands flew up in the air, slapping against her legs. “And I still have no clue what you protected me from.”
“That’s why I’m here. I want to tell you everything,” I started, but Wendy kept shaking her head. “If you would just allow me to tell you what I was dealing with, you’ll understand.”
Wendy continued to shake her head.
“Come on, Wendy.” I ground my teeth. “Stop shaking your head and just hear me out for a second.”
And then Wendy stopped, but a shadow fell across her face. The kind that shut the other person out. And I was that person.
“Wendy.” The tremor in my voice betrayed my crumbling fa?ade. “Please...”
She shook her head, and I watched her swallow hard against the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“I don't want to hear it, Vincent.” Wendy’s gravelly voice rubbed me like gritty sandpaper. “You’re too late.”
“But Wendy, I love you...”
“No!” Her shriek pierced the room, silencing my protest. “There's nothing you can say that'll change anything.” When Wendy opened her eyes, tears spilled from them, and never had I wanted to bend to her level, kiss away the salty tears I caused, just to taste a part of her again. My heart shattered, the pieces like jagged glass ripping me from the inside out. A slow yet deserving torture. “Please, Vincent. I’m begging you. If you actually love me, you’ll leave. For good. And never come back.”
But my dumb brain and heart refused to give up. Refused to listen. “Wendy, if you just give me five minutes, you’ll see why I did what I did.” I swallowed, my throat clicking as I watched Wendy slip away from me, rocking back and forth like a scared child on the floor, hiding from the monster. “I needed you to hate me so you would never come looking for me. I had to protect you at any cost.”
And then she broke. Wendy’s head dropped to her hands, and her body convulsed from the violent sobs rocketing through her body. I wanted to run and shield her from the pain, but how could I even do that since I was the source? “Wendy.” I moved again, hovering over her shaking frame. “We can fix this. I'm still the same man you fell in love with, the man who fell in love with you.”
She looked up, her face red and tear-streaked, her eyes a stormy sea of hurt and accusation. “You're not. The man I loved never existed. He was a lie.”
“Wendy,” I pleaded, my voice cracking. “I’m so sorry.”
She continued to sob into her hands; the only sounds in the room were her heartbreaking cries and my echoing pleas that were falling on deaf ears. Her tears were like acid on my soul, searing through every layer of my defenses and leaving me exposed—raw and vulnerable in the face of her pain.
“Just please get out!” Wendy shrieked, using her fingers to shield her weeping eyes, and that was when I knew I wouldn’t get to see the features I fell in love with again…for now.
“Fine.” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll go.” I dragged my feet toward the front door, my heart sinking in its cavity. Her sobs followed me like a haunting echo, seeping into my soul and shattering it piece by piece. As I wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, I paused. “If you change your mind, I’m staying at The Pelican House.” I waited for any sound from Wendy but was met with her silence. “Goodbye, Wendy.” My parting words echoed hollowly in the empty room as I walked out of her home, wondering if I’d ever get to tell her my story. Not that I deserved the fucking chance, anyway.
Wendy was easy to follow the instant I saw her in New York. All I needed was her location from Zachary. I knew they were throwing Sadie’s birthday party at their penthouse, and the rest easily fell into place. Coming face-to-face with Wendy was the difficult part. I just didn’t imagine how hard she’d make it for me to re-enter her life, but I was a fool to think any inch of this journey would have been simple.
I got back to The Pelican House right at sunset. The pictures online didn’t do this place justice. The way the ocean-view balcony overlooked the Atlantic painted a dream, but what I was going through was a nightmare. I wanted Wendy back, but suddenly, the little voice telling me it was too late might have been correct all along.
I stood by the vast window and stared at the ocean sprawled out like a velvet quilt before me, its waves lapping quietly onto the shoreline. The sun was on the horizon, bleeding red and orange into the evening sky. It was beautiful, but all its beauty felt diminished without Wendy to share it with.
The phone in my pocket buzzedZachary. Swallowing deeply, I swiped to accept with one thought: not good.
“Hey, Zachary.” I was already gnawing my lip away, preparing myself.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Zachary answered in the calmest of voices.
And I knew he meant it. “Zach, just hear me out for a moment.” I held out a pleading hand.
Zachary ignored my request. “You came to New York after promising me you wouldn’t do anything to mess anything up. And you do the exact opposite.”
“Look, Zach. I’m sorry.” I shrugged to the air, wincing. When did I turn into such an asshole?
“Sorry? You’re fucking sorry? Do you know that Blair hasn’t spoken to me? Says she doesn’t know if I can be trusted now because I have been speaking to you this entire time.”
“Do you want me to talk to Blair?” I squeezed the bridge of my nose, fighting off a stabbing pain spreading behind my eyes. I hadn’t slept in twenty-four hours, and my body gave in to the fatigue.
“No!” The word was a whip cracking against my ear. “No. I don’t want you talking to Blair. God, Vincent! Have you really lost your fucking mind? What’s happened to you? I thought you were smarter than this?”
“I…” My voice wavered as I tried to formulate an answer. The truth was too cruel, too raw to admit even to myself. “I thought I could make things right.”
“Well, you didn’t,” he fired back. His anger echoed in the following silence, rising and falling in time with the crashing waves below me.
“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Vincent. You’ve ripped open wounds that had finally healed, and for what? So you could feel better?”
“Well, why did you think I was coming to New York? To stroll through Central Park? You knew I would do everything I could to track Wendy down.” I collapsed onto the brown leather recliner, begging my heavy lids to stay open.
“You promised me you’d stay away from Sadie’s party…” Zachary’s voice cracked, trailing off.
“Zachary. I’m sorry. There isn’t much more I can say, and I understand if you never want to speak to me again, but thank you.” I exhaled before sucking in a yawn. “Thank you for telling me Wendy would be in New York.”
“Where are you now?” Zachary asked, sounding like my old friend for a second.
I cleared my throat. “Newport.”
“Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me. Can’t you just leave Wendy alone?” And then the angry bull returned. “You are the biggest shit on earth.”
I pushed away an unhinged smile. “Not until Wendy hears the truth about why I did what I did. Then, whatever she decides, I’ll respect.”
“Is that a true promise?” Zachary taunted.
“I swear on my life.” My hand brushed over my chest, feeling absolutely nothing.
“Does that even hold any value anymore? Your life?”
Ouch, my face twisted. But, yeah. I deserved every harsh word. I was about to say something, but the line went dead before I could. I stared at the phone in my hands, the bright screen stinging my eyes in the dimly lit room. Zachary was right, and acting wrong was all I knew how to do lately. My head fell back, the phone slipping from my fingers until it thudded against the polished wood floors.
My body begged me to sleep, but it wouldn’t happen as long as my mind raced to figure out how to convince Wendy to see me. The quick buzz of my phone cut through my thoughts, and my eyes dropped to the device. I jolted upright, wondering if I was dreaming when I saw Wendy’s name splashed across the screen.
“Hello?” My voice was sharp, bordering on desperation. There was silence on the other end. The type of silence that was so absolute you could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears. “Wendy? You there?”
“You’re at The Pelican House, right?” Her calm voice broke through.
“Yeah.” I straightened. “It’s on the Cliff Walk.”
“I know where it is,” Wendy said, silencing me, but my tongue had other plans.
“You kept my number.” But, then, it hit me. She probably had it memorized, just how I had remembered her number by heart. We were impossible to erase from our lives completely, no matter how hard we tried.
A long pause settled between us. Too long. And I started to think I fucked up by saying that last line. I didn’t mean to sound cocky. I was genuinely surprised Wendy didn’t fucking lose my number after this stint I pulled.
“I’ll be over by seven tonight,” Wendy said. “See you then.” And then she hung up.