Chapter 41
CHAPTER
FORTY-ONE
I’ve been home from Mum’s for a week, and Adhira and I have adapted to a routine that makes my type-A heart soar.
I think it does the same for her, making the roughest parts after her infusions a little less daunting.
So the fact that she hasn’t emerged from the bathroom yet, after what must be the world's longest shower ever recorded, has the hairs on the back of my neck rising.
I knock on her door for the third time, shaking my shoulders out before pushing inside, ready to rush out if she’s asleep.
Her bed is made, untouched since this morning.
I pound on her bathroom door, fear stealing my breath as I wait for her reply, but I hear nothing save for the sound of water pelting the floor and… whimpering? Is she crying?
“Adhira, what’s going on?” I plead, growing antsy as the moments pass without an answer.
I knock one last time before I turn the knob, throwing the door open and bolting inside, finding her crumpled on the shower floor, a curtain of hair covering her face as she clutches at clumps of her dark strands.
My heart swoops low, and it takes far too long for my brain to catch up.
I whip a towel off the holder, nudging the shower door open and climbing in behind her, reaching forward to shut off the water.
She doesn’t even flinch, too exhausted to react to my presence as I wrap the towel around her slim frame.
“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on,” I whisper, lowering myself to the floor, ice-cold water soaking through my joggers.
“My h-hair,” she says on a hiccup, chin tucked to her chest.
“What about your hair?” I think I know the answer, and while I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk about it, this is a conversation we need to have because it feels bigger than hair loss.
“It’s falling out,” she whispers. “And I’m falling apart.”
My heart aches for her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” I murmur, clenching my eyes shut and wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace, covering more of her with the towel.
I drag in a breath through my nose for four beats, hold for four, and exhale through my mouth for six.
I repeat the technique five times before opening my eyes, getting to my feet, and tugging her up and into my arms.
“You’re going to make everything wet,” she whines, and her complaint would make me laugh if I didn’t feel so damn defeated.
“Would you like my serious answer or a sad attempt at making you smile?” I ask, carrying her to her bed and setting her down, walking backwards to the bathroom to grab her robe and hairbrush, refusing to take my eyes off her.
“You’re not a very funny person, but let’s go with the latter,” she says with a small shrug.
I return a moment later, sliding the robe over her shoulders and turning my head so she can slip the towel from her body and cover herself. “Hey now, Lyla and Ellie happen to think I’m the funniest person on the planet.”
“Was that the joke?”
“Hardy, har, har,” I tease, working the towel through her hair, cringing as strands slip from her scalp, this most recent infusion thinning it far more than the others had.
“Well then, your sisters need to get out more.” She takes the towel from my hands, dropping it to the floor beside the rubbish bin with the clumps of her hair she’d been holding in the shower. “Go on, what was your unimpressive joke?”
I smirk, leaning in to speak in my most sexy baritone, which I’m sure has zero effect on her. “I’m sorry this is the first time I’ve had you this wet, baby girl,” I purse my lips, holding back my laughter, “but I’d be glad to make it up to you some other time.”
I pull back to find Adhira’s skin flushed, her lips sucked into her mouth, and her shoulders shaking in silent protest. She releases her lip, and it’s like a dam breaking as her cackling laughter booms through the small space.
My blood hums in approval. She smacks my bicep, shaking her head as the last throes of her laughter die down.
“You’re right, Elijah. Your flirting is a joke. ”
I wrinkle my brow, pulling away. “Ouch,” I say, wringing out my right hand. “That burns.”
“You’ll get over it,” she quips, turning to give me her back, which I take as an offer to let me brush her hair.
It’s something she knows I enjoy doing. It makes me feel like I’m taking care of her, but what she doesn’t realise is how much she takes care of me by allowing it.
There's a fine balance between constantly being needed by everyone to the point that it seems to be all I have to offer and fulfilling my own need to do things for others.
One makes me feel worthless; the other grounds me.
Adhira has found that balance with me, and my feelings for her have grown because of it, veering so far outside friendship that I fear losing pieces of myself along with her if she were ever absent from my life.
I start at her ends, just as I would with my sisters, working the brush up to the roots and letting the long strands hang loosely down her back when I’m finished.
Now seems as good a time as any to show her what I'd been working on before finding her in the shower. “I have a surprise for you,” I tell her, and she peers over her shoulder at me.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mm-hm, come on,” I urge, standing and reaching out a hand for her to take.
She shakes her head gently and moves to her door, giving me just enough time to shove the wad of hair I’d removed from her brush into the bin, then snatch the bag out and tie it in a knot to dispose of in the kitchen.
“Go stand in the living room with your eyes closed,” I instruct, shuffling around her to get rid of the bag.
When I return, I flip on the balcony light and open the door.
“Open your eyes,” I whisper, watching as her lashes flutter open.
Her eyes catch on the surprise: A metal stand holds a wide cream hammock with hanging knots and crystals attached to the ends that I’d installed earlier.
I revel in the gentle smile curving her lips, sliding the glass door open and stepping out for her to follow me.
She comes willingly, clutching her robe around her as we lean against the balcony, staring out over the city with the last remnants of the setting sun glowing on the horizon.
I flick my gaze behind us to the hammock, catching her gaze as she watches me.
“I’m sorry it’s not big enough to give you space, but I’d really like to test it out with you.
” My voice is husky and low as I speak the words that I know might result in rejection.
She doesn’t speak, allowing her actions to inform me of her decision.
She pushes down on the centre of the hammock, unceremoniously heaving herself in and rolling to one side before beckoning me over with a wave of her hand.
My desire to be near her doesn’t wane; I do as she asks, rolling in beside her and relishing the press of her cool skin against my overheated flesh.
She flips over to face me, and my fingers flex with the desire to drag her leg across my lap, desperate for more of her body against mine.
But as always, I refrain, keeping my inner animal at bay.
I give in to this overwhelming feeling in the only way I can.
The worry for her future and my need to be a part of it tears through me as I reach out to caress her cheek with the tips of my fingers.
“Tell me to stop,” I plead before I can make contact, my heart thundering against my ribs as the fear of losing her steals my breath away. I need her to push me away so I don’t shatter if I lose her.
Who am I kidding? I’ll shatter anyway.
And Adhira never does as she’s told. Reaching up to capture my hand in hers, she whispers, “Please, don’t stop.” Her eyes are wide beneath dark lashes, and who am I to deny her? I’m a mere mortal in the presence of a goddess.
Her hand drops from mine, landing on my chest, electricity zipping through me as I focus on her, cataloguing every swirl of her fingers and hesitant touch. I lean closer, pressing my forehead against hers, breathing in her warm, honeyed scent.
“You’re so beautiful,” I breathe out, not bothering to stop the words flowing from my lips.
Something flashes behind her eyes, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.
She leans back from me, and my heart clenches with worry that I’ve just pushed her away with three simple words.
But it comes crashing back into place as she tugs off my glasses, reaching over the side of the hammock to place them on the small table.
Her forehead presses against mine again, and warmth blooms in my chest at the much-needed contact. I release a sigh of relief. She plants her icy palms on the sides of my neck, and I suck in a startled breath.
“Sorry,” she murmurs. “Cold hands that match my glacial heart, I suppose.”
Something twists in my chest, and I feel gutted by the knowledge that some part of her believes those lies.
“Adhira, you’re the complete opposite of all the lies you’ve believed about yourself—you’re warm beyond belief, and my entire body blazes from the simplest touch from you.
And if the people who labelled you with those falsehoods had been listening, they’d know that every word you speak contains multitudes.
Just because you don’t speak in flowery riddles doesn’t mean you aren’t giving pieces of yourself away with every word.
” I shake my head with a huff of exasperation.
“You say exactly what you mean, never leaving anyone in the dark unless…” I pin her with a pointed stare.
“Unless you think it’s for the greater good.
And I hope that someday soon, you’ll realise the only future you’re beholden to is your own. ”
She swallows, holding my gaze with such fierceness that I’m convinced she can do anything she sets her mind to, even win this war against her own body.
Her fingers tangle in the soft material of my Wyvern Warriors shirt, dragging me flush against her chest, and I’m certain a kiss from her would be the purest form of ecstasy. As if sensing what I need, her lashes flutter closed, and she presses her lips to the corner of mine.
It's barely a kiss, and somehow it's still the most incredible, awe-inducing experience of my life, permanently lodging my heart in my throat as she settles into my arms and cements my desperation for more of her.
“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever known, Elijah Elliott. Inside and out.”