23. Rowan
Rowan
I wasn’t sure how long it was supposed to take Milo to get to his colony and explain the situation, but every minute that passed with only silence and the dark cold had more fear and doubts raising in my mind. What if they didn’t let him leave again?
I knew selkies weren’t supposed to interact with humans. Or what if he was in trouble? What if those orcas came back and I couldn’t get to him in time? Milo had said this wasn’t their territory, but what did whales care about that?
What was I supposed to do if he didn’t come back? I couldn’t just dive into the water and start looking for him. I didn’t know where to go, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to see or hold my breath long enough to get there. He’d told me as much.
I didn’t like any of this. This was a bad plan. I shouldn’t have let him leave.
God, I just wanted to go back home with him and fall asleep in front of the fire. None of these daring rescue missions that needed reinforcements, and taking on who knew how many poachers and “other things,” as Panak had said.
What other things?
What else was out there? How could I protect Milo from it all if I didn’t know about it? What happened if I couldn’t?
How could I ever live without him now that I’d felt how bright life could be with him at my side? I’d only had him for two weeks and I already knew I couldn’t do a single day without him ever again.
I paced my boat, pulling my beanie from my head so I could run my fingers through my hair. I was entirely useless right now.
He’d not even been gone an hour, and I was already spiraling.
Get yourself together.
I exhaled heavily as my body sagged atop the fish box, my eyes casting up to the aurora sky. The colors shifted slowly, rhythmically. I’d always found them calming.
Inhale. Exhale. Trust him.
A minute passed. Another. I tried to focus on my breathing. Tried to center myself. My heart rate refused to slow. Each inhale fought me to be drawn in faster.
This wasn’t working.
With a grunt, I pulled up to my feet again, pacing the small distance my boat allowed.
Desperate for something to do, I grabbed my bucket, leaning over the edge to fill it with water so I could scrub my boat. I’d washed it since my last fish haul, so it wasn’t like anything particularly needed to be cleaned, but it was something to pass the time.
By the time I heard movement in the water, the boat was probably the cleanest it had been in years.
“Milo?” I called out into the darkness.
There was no response.
I scanned the water.
Searching.
Two pure black eyes were looking back at me.
A harp seal. But not Milo. I could recognize him even in seal form.
“Uh… hi there,” I called out.
The seal didn’t respond.
Two more black eyes were on me as another seal bobbed its head above the surface. Then another. When the fifth seal met me with that blank and expectant stare, my palms grew clammy despite the cold. Was this Milo’s colony? What were they waiting for?
“Um… I’m uh… Rowan. I’m with Milo.” I swallowed. “You can… come onto the boat if you want to.”
I scanned past them, looking for Milo as another pair of eyes surfaced. Still no Milo. They also didn’t move to get on the boat.
“I’m human, well you probably know that already, but I’m a good one. I’d never do anything that would harm Milo or his people.”
Silence.
“Selkie safe space,” I chuckled nervously.
Silence.
Yeah, that had been a stupid thing to say. I wouldn’t have responded either. Fuck, what was I supposed to say to them?
“Um, I don’t know what Milo told you… but… I want to help you with the poachers. I’m not sure how many of you there are, but as many as can fit on the boat are welcome.”
Silence.
I could feel the weight of their judgment as they assessed me and found me lacking.
“I know,” I said softly. “I’m… not much to look at. Not the best with words either, really. But… Milo… well, I know you aren’t supposed to interact with humans, but he says your goddess sent him to be with me. I’m not sure about that either.”
Good job, Rowan, really inspiring confidence here.
“Milo is… well, Milo deserves someone much better than me. I’ll agree with you there.
He’s…” I inhaled deeply. “Well, everything. He’s light.
He’s joy. He’s good. I might not be worthy of him, but…
with the permission of his people, and the goddess, I promise to do everything in my power every day to be good to him.
I’ll care for him. I’ll keep him safe, well fed, and warm.
I’ll provide for him. Whatever he wants, I’ll do everything I can to get it for him.
I’ll protect him. I won’t ever tell anyone about what he is.
I’ll never try to change him, or keep him from his people, or the sea.
He’s a free spirit. A beautiful, spectacular hurricane. ”
I smiled softly, feeling a warmth blossom in my chest that came with just thinking about my little hurricane. My savior. My Milo. My mate.
“I know it hasn’t been that long, but I know how I feel. I’ll be devoted to him with everything that I am. So please… please look past the fact that I’m a human, and see me for the man who’s well and truly fallen in love with Milo.”
The selkies watched me, their judgment still present. I wasn’t sure what else I could say to win them over.
There was a splash behind me, and I turned to see Milo pulling himself up onto the boat. Relief, hope, and warmth filled my soul as I went to him, wrapping him in my arms and not caring about the icy water dripping from his skin.
Milo’s hands smoothed over my neck as he pulled me down to him. Our lips clashed. He tasted like home. Milo’s tongue sought entrance and I granted it, met it with my own.
When we finally pulled back to breathe, our lips were pink and swollen. Milo gave me a wide grin. “You’re in love with me?”
I flushed. “Uh… yeah. Yes. I am. I probably should have told you that directly, before I told your people.”
“My people?”
I gestured my head toward the selkies behind us, and felt more heat rise to my cheeks remembering that they’d just watched us basically making out.
Milo tilted his head to the side as he looked behind me. “Those aren’t selkies, Rowan.”
“They aren’t?”
His grin grew wider. “Nope. Just seals. They can’t understand you.”
Well… that explained the silence.
Milo laughed before yanking me down into another kiss, just as passionate as the last. “I love you too,” he panted when we parted.
“Is someone going to help an old lady up, or do I have to do everything myself?” came a frail, feminine voice.
Milo was still grinning as he pulled away from me.
“This is my grandmother, Rowan. Aanaa Et’el. Leader of the selkies,” Milo said as he pulled a much much smaller woman up onto the boat.
She was just as naked as Milo, and I hadn’t considered the fact we were about to lead dozens of naked selkies in a mission to rescue Miki’s coat. I only had a moment to come to terms with it before something else he’d said became far more important. “Wait, leader of the selkies?”
“Yes. Queen of selkies.”
“That would make you—”
“Prince,” the woman interrupted, giving me a scrutinizing look.
I needed to sit down.
“And for the record…” Milo winked, then gestured out over the water. I turned in stunned silence to look out at the dozens and dozens of white-haired strangers with black eyes who were watching us. Far more than I was prepared for. “Those are selkies.”