Chapter 5
It’s the simplest of words. Yet they hold enough power to completely rewire something in my chest.
I wouldn’t say it’s the first time a fan asked me to do something for them instead of sending love for the game, but this one…this landed someplace I couldn’t shake off.
Shadow: Unravel me, Dark Knight.
It was almost like a siren.
One that kept calling, echoing in my head long after I closed the app and slid into third period.
I don’t typically run through messages on the app between periods. I keep my head where it belongs. But we were being eaten alive out there by the Titans.
I needed something.
NHL prospect or not, I was desperate for reassurance. A reminder that I’m better than the loser I fear becoming every time I fail my team.
Proof I deserve where I’m headed. And what the fans are giving me.
Despite what everyone thinks, I read all the comments. Every single one. Some make me smile. A few make me laugh. Each one offers another drop of fuel I count on out there.
But none hit like hers.
I got back on the ice pumping with energy that felt new. If only not to let her down—Shadow.
Most fans jump on the app throwing words around—telling us what we want to hear. But she meant it. Everything about her message is deliberate. Down to the alias she used to the nickname she gave me. A dark knight is perceived to be flawed. Someone who buries vulnerability. An imperfect hero.
Both protector…and destroyer.
And for once—I’m not haunted by these facts.
Because she saw it. And still chose me.
Fuck, she made it sound like I was a hero.
A hero she called out to.
Under a name like Shadow.
It wasn’t until the roar of the crowd that I realized the game was over. We won.
And I had one fan to thank for it.
The only way I knew how.
“Andrews,” Coach calls when I step out of the showers, a towel tight around my waist and one around my neck.
He points a finger at me once he’s got my attention.
“I don’t know what that was, but next time, don’t save it for the final period.
Was a close call.” He praises one or two other players, then comments something about being grey by next season.
Coach Nolan isn’t old by any means. Thirty-nine. Eleven seasons with the Washington Capitals. Six years coaching at Northwind.
I idolize the man. Could have gone pro—they sure as hell pay more. But he chose to shape young players while they’re still focused on the game, not the contracts. He chose Northwind.
And we’re a bunch of lucky bastards to have him.
If only he’d come out for drinks with us once in a while. Heck, he might even get lucky. Not that he needs it.
Ever since his very public split, he’s been the Mountain West’s most eligible bachelor.
Odd choice for a guy with a permanent scowl.
When the locker room clears, I set my duffle bag on the bench, my phone flashing with three letters I haven’t believed in for years. I pinch the bridge of my nose, lifting the phone to my ear. “Hey, Mom.”
“Are you purposely ignoring me?”
“This important? I just had a game and I’m a little tired.”
“Game. It’s all you two ever cared about,” she mutters.
“Not this again, Mom.”
“You listen to me. Tomorrow night is important. Do you want your mother alone forever?”
If it means she’d leave me alone, I’m all for whoever or whatever she wants to screw. But I’m not okay with her getting married.
The woman still controls some of my dad’s estate. The last thing I need is for her to marry some con artist.
Because I want everything that belonged to him. Down to the very last tie. She took enough of him away from me when she drove him into a depression he couldn’t fight.
“Well?”
“No, I don’t,” I grit, convincing myself I’m not pleasing her, but that I actually mean it.
“Then do not miss another dinner with Richard. He wants to meet you.”
“Tell him to get in line,” I mutter.
“Kane.”
“I’ll be there.”
I hear her release a breath. “You know you’re just like your father. Always making me beg to spend time with you.”
“That was hardly begging, Mother.”
“It’d be nice if you brought a girl for a change.”
I clench my back teeth, wanting to ask her why she even wants me around now when I had to listen to her arguing with Dad about making her have children. She didn’t have children. She had a child. And apparently, that’s when her life went to shit.
I should seriously consider therapy.
But I turn to hockey. To my teammates. To the fans.
To the app that was just barely scratching the surface of making me feel worthy—because that’s how fucked up I am.
Until tonight.
Until Shadow.
And the unraveling I was picturing all through third period.
It’s like she sparked a kink in me I didn’t know I had.
The text had me rocking a semi the whole game. I wanted to know what else she’d say. I wanted to give her reasons to keep begging me to do things to her, while calling me her dark knight.
The locker room door bursts open. “Kane, still in here?”
I end the call with my mom and drop my phone in my duffle, tossing it over my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m coming. We headin’ to Lulu’s to celebrate?”
I’m not in the mood to celebrate. Never am. But it’s kind of an expectation at Northwind with a win.
“Change of plans. Titans are hittin’ up Lulu’s tonight, so unless we’re lookin’ for a fight, I say we go back to The Summit.”
Lulu’s has been the team’s hangout for years. Not surprised our rivals would end up there looking to settle a score after tonight’s loss.
The image of the gorgeous brunette with the Titans fan pops into my head for the third time tonight. There’s no way she was with that guy. She was way out of his league.
My guess? She’s dating one of the guys on the team, and he got roped into looking out for her.
Figures a Titan would let a groupie handle a man’s job.
If she were mine, you’d never find her lost in the crowd with another man’s hand wrapped around her arm. She’d be sitting home side, front row, right behind the glass. Where I can have my own eyes on her.
Not someone else’s.
Shaking my head, I let it go. I know better than to be jealous of a Titan’s flavor of the month. “Let’s go to The Summit—quick appearance. Then I’m calling it a night.”
He chuckles behind me. “Here I thought you’d be looking to stake your claim on what’s yours.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I keep walking and Hunter falls into step beside me.
“They’re going to our territory. Don’t you remember last time? The Titans captain tried to steal your thunder when he got on the ice in our arena. Skated to the glass, cupped his hand to his ear, and got your fans cheering for him. You damn near flattened McKenna at center ice before puck drop.”
I scoff. Like I’d ever forget someone trying to make me look small in my own yard. I’d barely settled into captaincy before he tried to swipe the glory right out from under me.
“Yeah, I remember. New captain, new target—and he wanted everyone to see me stumble. Too bad it takes a lot more to rile me up.”
He laughs. “That why you shut down the app for two games?”
Should’ve been five. “Not sorry.”
“It’s just a game, man. The louder they are, the better. Who cares who it’s for?”
“I do. Because next time our fans pull that shit, I’ll have them moved to the other side of the arena.”
Hunter shakes his head.
I know I’ve got issues. Insecurities. But he’s no saint either.
Two years ago, Hunter dumped his long-time girlfriend because she cheated on him.
Apparently, she thought guys off campus weren’t off limits—no risk of anyone finding out. Not only did someone find out, but they also managed to use the Send Me Love app to send him photo proof.
Another cold hard reason I don’t get involved. That’s why Hunter doesn’t mess around with the same girl twice—so long as he can keep track.
Just when you think you know someone, trust someone, it all blows up in your face.
And with nothing but hockey in our veins until we sign our contracts, there’s no room for anything else.