Chapter 15
The Locker Room
Kane’s Shadow
Shadow: My co-worker just told me you booked me for the entire semester? Again, I don’t think you’re doing it right.
Shadow: Cancel them!
Kane19: But what if I’m so distraught over losing that I can’t focus on schoolwork? I might need the help.
Shadow: You need help NOW.
Kane19: No. I need to win.
Shadow: Just tell me what you want from me so I can scream into a pillow for ever taking Bree’s advice.
Kane 19: Who’s Bree?
I blink. Umm…
Shadow: My friend. I have a friend.
Ugh that was stupid. Where’s the edit button on this thing? At this point, I may as well have told him she’s my therapist. So yeah, Kane19, proceed with caution.
Shadow: My therapist. And my friend.
Kane19: Well now you have one more friend. So you’re here because of your therapist’s advice? I’d have pegged this more of a dare thing.
I frown when he doesn’t even seem to flinch at the fact that I’m seeing someone for my mental health.
Shadow: No one dared me. Can we get back to the tutoring hours thing? Cancel them.
Kane19: I thought we were past that. Remember, you said you’d scream into a pillow?
Shadow: Where’s the growling emoji on this stupid thing?
Kane19: Whoa. Okay. Don’t hate on the app, I just started liking it again.
Kane19: What’s going on? Is this really about the tutoring hours? Did I offend you?
Did he offend me? How could someone not find this offensive? My pulse races. And my fingers fly across the screen.
Shadow: I don’t need charity. I signed up to work. Not have one rich kid buy them all out because he needs a favor from me in return for the rest of the semester.
Seconds tick by. Then a minute. Then two. And nothing.
My stomach sinks as I re-read my last message.
Shit.
I set my phone down and inhale deeply, centering myself. In. Two. Three. Four. Out—
My phone vibrates.
Kane19: Shadow, this isn’t charity. If it’s bothering you this much, I’ll cancel them.
I just know that you don’t particularly like or want to sit across from strangers for three hours every weekend.
And I refuse to hang back and let you when it’s an easy solution.
And yes, it is for me. And I’m not going to apologize for it.
My face falls and my chest is tight. I offended him. This isn’t charity. He’s looking out for me.
And he’s right. I don’t want to sit across from strangers for three hours every weekend just to afford more than a roof over my head. The idea of it is daunting but one I thought I needed to push myself to do.
But even Bree didn’t seem impressed with the idea.
It’s a start, but making friends and forming relationships shouldn’t be work. It should come naturally, not be forced because both parties need something from each other and in reality, don’t really want to be there.
Before I have a chance to say anything, he sends another message.
Kane19: I’ve got to get to the arena. Do me a favor. Don’t send love tonight.
“Wait, what?” I whisper, glancing up nervously.
I did offend him.
My cheeks heat and my heart sinks when the automatic message pops up that he’s left the locker room.
My instinct is to text Bree and see if she’s available tonight, because of course I’m not going to the game.
Not now.
Kane19 made the decision for me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuuucckk.
Not this again.
“Chili. Olive. Open up. This isn’t funny.” I jiggle the knob of the door again.
“Go away. We’ve got company. Don’t you see the sock on the door?”
“That’s not how this works. The sock is for your bedroom, not the whole dorm room.”
“We’re…having a bigger party.”
I hear a guy’s voice and what sounds like someone’s ass being smacked. It’s followed by a shriek and a giggle. “One sec,” she tells whoever that was.
“Where you going?” I hear him call.
The sound of bags shuffling comes from the other side of the door before it swings open halfway.
Chili pokes her head out. “Come. Back. Later,” she growls.
I blink back. “Chili, I live here too. I’ll just slip into my closet and you can keep—”
She scoffs and glances back. “Uh, yeah, no. You don’t want to be here.” She lowers her voice to a hoarse whisper. “It’s big girl stuff.”
I deadpan her. “Let me in. The library is closed and it’s cold outside.”
“Bitch, go to the Knights game. You’re already dressed for it.”
I frown and look down. Oh my God. I’m still wearing Kane’s jacket.
Is that why Fletcher thought we were dating?
“Oh, this came for you.” She shoves a package at me. An open package. What the hell? I didn’t order anything.
Oh no.
My eyes widen.
Chili points at me. “And that’s exactly why you’re not ready for whatever’s going on here.” She starts to close to the door, then peeks out again. “But hey, let us know if you’re ever curious. The boys wouldn’t mind an innocent brunette in the mix.” She winks and shuts the door.
I’m still standing outside in shock, holding the teal battery powered accessory I ordered from the site Bree sent me.
I pull apart the paper bag to peek inside. Yep. There it is, wrapped in clear plastic, no less. All seven inches.
I bang on the door. “Opening someone else’s mail is a felony.”
To my surprise, it swings open a second later. “Yeah, but we charged it for you, so…you’re welcome.” She winks and shuts the door.
I growl.
“Hey, you alright?”
Ugh, do I look alright? I blink up, finding a familiar face. And it takes me a minute to remember where I’ve seen her before.
“Tisch. From the library?”
I scrunch up the package and shove it in my bag. “Right. Right. Hi. I remember you.” I struggle with the zipper and feel her watch me. “Did you um…find…fuck.” I yank it again. “Everything you needed that, gah—day.”
She rushes over to assist. “Easy, easy. And hey, you’re not working right now, you don’t need to be so…polite. You could totally tell me to buzz off or whatever.”
I look up. “What? No. I’m just having…”
“Roommate issues.” She nods, glancing at the closed door.
My eyes widen. “You saw what happened?”
She winces. “Not reall—yeah, kinda, most of it,” she points to another door down the hall. “I’d offer for you to crash at my place but I’m heading out. Hockey game.”
“Oh.”
“That a team jacket you wearin’ or store swag?”
“Um…it’s a friend’s, actually. I forgot to give it back to him.”
She nods. “To Kane Andrews?”
“Uh…”
“Sorry, I caught you lookin’ him up that day and now you’re…wearing his jacket.”
“It’s not like that,” I insist.
She smirks and holds out her elbow. “Tell me about it on the way.”
I glance over my shoulder, stomach in knots. “Maybe we should just sit farther back.”
“And get a good view of the student body rather than the game? Nonsense.” Tisch waves me off and shoves the bucket of popcorn into my hands.
“It’s just…so close.”
“Yeah, well, hopefully no one claims them, if they do, we’ll move further back.”
“Wait, you didn’t buy tickets?”
“And fund athletics when the drama department can barely afford new curtains? No way, this place already makes way too much money.”
Fair point.
I settle into my seat and watch the players warm up. Kane’s not out yet, but a few other Knights are. Making slow circles, stretching their shoulders, rolling their necks.
The other team skates out now, their jersey colors familiar. “They’re playing the Titans again?”
“Yep,” Tisch says. “And they’re out for blood. Knights won the last one.”
I frown. “If you’re not a fan of athletics, why are you here?”
“I’m a fan of my twin brother, Jake McKenna, he’s the captain. Number thirty-one.” She points him out with a smile.
“Oh. Your brother…is a Titan.”
“Yep. Wouldn’t be caught dead at one of these otherwise.”
“I shouldn’t be here, either,” I tell Tisch as the lights dim and the game is about to start. Since I wasn’t allowed in my own room to change or even grab a jacket, I’m still wearing Kane’s captain jacket.
I’m overly aware of people glancing at me, trying to decide if it’s his or from the shop.
Judging by the looks, I’m willing to bet they’ve never seen one like it except on him.
Definitely not paranoid this time. People were staring as we made our way through the crowd and down the aisle.
On the short drive over in Tisch’s “tiny but mighty” car, as she calls it, she managed to get me to spill the tea on how I ended up with the Knights captain’s jacket.
So I told her everything. And honestly, talking to her was almost easier than talking to Bree, probably because she’s not picking apart everything I say.
Something about Tisch makes me feel…unjudged.
Like no matter what comes out of my mouth, her expression won’t change.
Maybe it’s because of how perfectly content she seems with being unpopular because she’s from our rival school.
She just…rolls with it.
“Don’t sweat it, Bambi.”
I frown.
She flicks a glance my way “Cause you’re like a deer in headlights, sometimes? No?” She grins.
I shrug with an accepting smile. “Cute.”
She cocks her head with a pointed look. “Accurate.”
I hold my phone tight in my hands as the jumbotron prompts us to use the Send Me Love app with social media sound effects. The crowd cheering around us.
Do me a favor, don’t send love tonight.