Chapter 21
I knock on Tisch’s door before stopping by my room. She barely opens and I’m already apologizing. “I am so sorry.”
She’s in a black jumper and hoodie, her curly red hair wild but gorgeous. Her eyes flick over me, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“It’s cool. Gave me an excuse to sleep in. Besides, we never really picked a time. We just kind of said, ‘Hey, let’s grab coffee in the morning.’ Those things are never like legit plans. More like, come knock on my door if you wanna.”
I blink, then backtrack. “Oh—”
“Hang on, let me just grab my wallet and phone.”
I hang back and wait outside the door, glancing over at my own dorm and wishing I could swap roommates.
Tisch is already halfway through her iced coffee and I’ve barely touched mine. I’ve lost count of how many I drank already today, conscious of getting too jittery—more than I already am.
“So…” she starts, perking her brows. “Can we talk about how you’re in the same clothes as last night?”
I grin and stir my drink. “I slept over.”
She doesn’t look surprised. “In Kane’s bed.”
“Without Kane. He slept on the couch.”
She considers it for a moment, then nods. “That’s... actually annoyingly respectable. Kind of liked thinking of the enemy as an asshole, but,” she motions toward me. “For my new friend’s sake, I’m glad he was a gentleman.”
I smile into my coffee, still reveling in this new friendship thing, but don’t want to make a big deal of it.
“So, tell me about the kiss.”
“How do you know there was a kiss?”
“Because if there wasn’t, he drops from being annoyingly respectable to a loser and we all know Kane Andrews is no loser when it comes to the female population.”
“Well, it was nice but…” I bite my lip, nearly wincing as I decide to trust her with this. “It’s technically supposed to serve a purpose.”
“What does that mean?”
“It was his idea.”
“What. Was?” she deadpans me wearily.
I spend the next few minutes awkwardly explaining the mutually beneficial arrangement I made with Kane less than twelve hours ago.
And she…doesn’t laugh.
She barely even blinks.
Thoughts are playing around in her head and she’s paying attention to every note.
“Well?” I wince.
Her eyes suddenly pop. “Oh my God, I get your last message to him now.”
I exhale. “That’s it? That’s all you got?”
She straightens in her seat. “Well look, who am I to judge all this, but have you really thought this through? You know, without Kane’s biceps staring you in the face?”
Man she’s good.
“I have.”
“And you’re okay with this being purely a transaction?”
“Tisch, I’m attracted to him—which is kind of a prerequisite for this kind of thing. He’s the first guy outside my steamy romance books to make my body…react this way. I’m not in love with him, nor do either of us want a relationship.”
“Sweetie, I’m not judging. It…makes sense.” She reaches to touch my hand. “As long as you know what this is for him.”
She makes it sound like Kane is using me, when I know he’s not. Even if he were that cruel, I’m pretty good at picking up on that sort of thing. Not to mention, I feel like I’m getting the better end of the deal.
“We’ve sort of become friends.” I shrug.
She nods, the concern in her expression easing. It leaves a warm feeling in my chest, knowing I might’ve found someone who looks out for me here. “And now there are benefits to that friendship.”
“Temporary benefits,” I reassure her.
She leans back. “I’ll allow it. After all, I do have a superpower against Kane Andrews. I tell Jake he hurt my new friend from school, he’ll have all the ammunition he needs.”
“Is violence your natural go-to?”
“Loyalty is my natural go-to. Okay, enough with the negativity, when does all this sexy stuff start? Should we be looking at game schedules, making a wish list or what?”
I decide to keep the vending machine shenanigans to myself for a while—especially since I barely had a chance to catch my breath before meeting Tisch.
I’m about to tell her ‘tonight’, since I’m still not sure I’m on board with the cryptic lesson he’s got planned.
To respect yourself. To not let anyone intimidate you.
All the things he said about Shadow is wrong. She does hide. Her freaking name is Shadow. That’s not the name of someone who’s a badass.
As offended as I was at the time, I appreciated what he was trying to do. But that’s not what I signed up for. I already have a therapist. I don’t need this getting deep.
“I guess it started last night.”
“And I assume you’ve talked exclusivity?”
“What?”
“I mean if you’re helping him score, the least the boy can do is keep his dick in his pants when it comes to other girls.”
I blink. “Oh. I didn’t even think about that.”
“Didn’t you guys…plan this out, set rules?”
“I guess I just assumed…”
“Isla, Kane Andrews is quite the playboy—on and off campus. His name—and lips have even made it over to Highland U.”
I feign shock. “Fraternizing with the enemy?”
She laughs. “Doesn’t matter what school he goes to. He’s NHL-bound. He’s Lucas Andrews’ son and top five prospect.”
“All that stuff sounds so…”
“High-profile? Golden boy? The total package?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s his future. It’s fact. And…” She levels me with a look. “It’s probably why he doesn’t do girlfriends.”
“I’m not looking to be his girlfriend,” I say, sounding like a broken record. Only now, there’s a dull ache in my chest, like there was never a real chance to begin with.
After coffee, Tisch heads to the Drama House for her late-morning class, and I realize I’m a half hour late to Professor Dirk’s class.
Which reminds me, I need to run upstairs for my philosophy notes so I can keep working on my project with Miles. I’m obviously not going to class at this point, but that just means I’ll need to bring my A-game to this presentation.
It was worth it, though—chatting with someone so openly who isn’t my therapist. Bree never gave me textbook advice, but she constantly has my mental health goals in mind. So I always take it with a grain of salt.
With a deep breath and a reminder that I’m only going in for a shower, a change, and a notebook, I head up to my dorm room.
There’s an odd bubble in my stomach compared to the usual feeling of being around my obnoxious roommates.
Between the glorious sleep I had, breakfast with Hunter and Grey, the mid-morning spice session with Kane, and coffee with my new friend, I’m floating.
There’s nothing these two can say or do right now that will ruin that.
In fact, I’m feeling lucky enough to go back to the Student Housing to see if they’d be willing to switch my room next semester. Tisch will likely be on board. She doesn’t seem to like anyone on campus and for some odd reason, I’m the exception.
“Excuse us,” a deep voice calls from behind me.
I turn to find two men carrying a bed frame.
I press my back against the wall in the narrow hallway to let them pass.
Two more are behind them with a large dresser.
Typically, furniture items arriving on campus aren’t new.
They’re second-hand or from home. But these are nice, brand new and expensive looking.
I frown when they stop in front of my dorm room.
No way Chili and Olive gave themselves an upgrade. The two spend all their cash on weed and eyeliner.
I’m about to argue that they should double check the room number but stop myself, my voice getting caught in my throat. Better let them figure it out.
But I wouldn’t put it past those two to pretend they’ve been expecting it and let them in.
The door opens and Chili steps aside. Her voice flat. “Second door on the left.”
I frown before following behind the men. What?
Chili sees me, releasing an exhaustive breath. “Finally. Maybe now you can see to all these deliveries yourself?”
Olive is behind her, moving a laundry basket full of clothes into Chili’s room on the opposite side of the dorm.
“What’s going on?”
Chili’s brows perk nonchalantly. “Oh nothing.” Then flicks her gaze toward our other roommate. “Olive and I just wanted to live together. In the same room. Right, Olive?
She barely turns to us before walking into Chili’s room. “It’s all yours.”
I frown. “Why?”
Chili paces around the living room, cleaning up like she needs something to do. “Do I need a reason? The closet was a little tight for you so we’re making you more…comfortable.” She practically chokes on the last word.
A guy walks out of Olive’s room holding her beat-up old dresser with random stickers covering the scratches. “Where’s this going?”
Chili points behind her. “That room.”
I cross to my closet, pulse racing. My things are gone. The mattress. The bags with my clothes. My makeshift workspace—which was a cardboard box over my bags of clothes. “Where’s all my stuff?”
Chili eyes me. “Your room.”
Something’s not right. Something is very, very wrong here. “Why?” I snap.
Olive steps out and joins Chili in the center of the living room. The two facing me. “We want to be roommates. Real roommates. We haven’t been very welcoming…and—”
“Very welcoming? You wouldn’t even let me in yesterday.
You removed my mattress from that very room and shoved it into the closet.
I walk through a layer of smoke every night just to get to my room.
And you both threatened me if I complained.
Now you want to give me an entire room?” I swallow hard, my pulse pounding in my ears.
Standing up for myself never feels good, it pours out of me like this tidal wave that ends up leaving a mess of everything. Then the panic hits.
“Oh my God.” It crashes into me all at once. My stomach drops, my face goes hot, and a sick feeling crawls up my throat.
Shadow is a badass. She’s not afraid to ask for what she wants. She shows up. She doesn’t hide…in a closet.
I stalk back to my shoebox, opening it with a vivid memory of what it looked like when I left here yesterday.
And what he saw. “He was here,” I whisper, my blood running cold.
Chili perks up behind me. “Yeah, and look, we think it’s cool you and Kane are friends now.”
I blink, everything hazy suddenly. “What?”
“Kane Andrews, he told us not to say anything but we’re girls, right? We don’t keep anything from each other.”
I shake my head. “What—what did he say?”
I wait for my alias to slip from their lips. My hands shake with the inevitability of it.
“That you’re tutoring him and he considers you one of his closest friends and…” Chili’s jaw tightens, like she can’t seem to finish the sentence, so she turns to Olive.
“And that we should treat you with the same…respect,” Olive finishes.
Oh, I’m going to be sick.
“You alright? You need to sit down or anything?” Chili offers, stepping toward me.
“Don’t touch me,” I choke out.
Chili steps back, rolling her eyes, just as the men emerge from the second bedroom empty handed. “We got a few more things in the truck. Be right back.”
I shake my head, not finding the words to tell them not to come back with any more things because how can I possibly live here now?
When the door closes, Olive nudges Chili’s elbow and clears her throat.
Chili jerks. “Oh right. So, we thought this might be like a fresh start, you know. Hi, I’m Pepper. Please call me Chili. This is Olivia, aka Olive.” She smiles at me. “Should we call you…Lila Bean?”
“Just Isla,” I deadpan.
Olive, who’s been eyeing me suspiciously, speaks up. “How does a tutor suddenly become besties with the hockey team captain?”
“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug. “It’s Psych 101 so maybe…he needed an experiment?”
Chili nods. “Ah okay, see that makes sense.”
See all the smoke is settling in nicely in that head of yours.
Olive narrows her eyes. “But why was he here then?”
I don’t dignify them with an answer and walk into what’s now apparently my room.
I linger in the doorway, my eyes skimming over the new headboard, bed frame, dresser, and desk, like I’m witnessing the aftermath of a crime scene.
“Last one.” The guy shuffles around me with a long ivory rug.
Another one behind him with a brand-new bedding set. A lilac color. They roll out the carpet and leave. “Have a good one.”
I barely bother with a wave much less a thank you—which will probably haunt me later. But I can’t move. I can’t speak.
All I can think about is the betrayal I feel. The promise he broke.
In…two…three—wait. I snap my eyes open.
What would Shadow do?