Chapter 34
KANE’S SHADOW
The Locker Room
Kane’s Shadow
Shadow: I’m not sure. What does it look like?
Kane19: It looks like something you better be wearing when I look into the stands and find you tonight.
Kane19: Also, it’s got my name and number on it. A little red heart on the bottom.
I smile down at the Sharpie-inked shape on the side of the jersey. He did tell me he signed it—but that my name wouldn’t be on it. And that I’d know it’s mine.
My stomach flips and I think I just fell for him a little harder.
Shadow: Okay, I think I know which one you’re talking about.
It’s the first game I’m showing up in Kane’s jersey, and I’m surprised at how excited I am for it. If we were at the Northwind Arena tonight, the place would be packed with his jerseys, and me wearing one wouldn’t be as noticeable.
But we’re at Highland tonight. The Titans arena. So the Northwind crowd isn’t expected to be as full. Still, there may be quite a bit in our visitor section.
But I’m ready to be Kane Andrews’ girlfriend.
And the app…seems to be working itself out.
With everyone believing that Shadow is a made-up alias to get people talking about Send Me Love.
Basically—a marketing stunt. Some saying it may be a way for Kane Andrews to brand it and sell it to his NHL team.
So, I’m pretty much…dare I say…safe.
Something I haven’t felt in years.
Kane19: See you soon.
We stayed in New York overnight and got back late Saturday. It was so late we both passed out after a quick shower. Which leaves me aching for him tonight. He seemed hungry for me this morning too but had to meet with the team early and then head to the arena on the team bus.
It’s cold out. I’m in leggings, the jersey, and a wool coat Kane bought me because my jacket was apparently “like wearing a T-shirt in Montana”.
I hop into Tisch’s car.
“I’m so relieved you’re coming tonight. My brother’s been bothering me about tonight’s game for weeks. And he’s pissed I’m sitting with my school.”
“Glad to see you not in a Titans jersey, but won’t your brother be mad?”
“Nah. He’s used to it. I didn’t wear them when I went here, don’t plan on starting now. His team’s a bunch of jerk faces that don’t deserve my support. Still hope he gets signed at the end of the year, but you won’t see me cheering for them tonight.”
I chuckle. “That’s a relief. I don’t need the extra attention as the girl who brought the Titan fan with her.” I wink.
“Getting more comfortable, are we, Bambi?”
I laugh. “Just let me know when it’s too much.”
“Impossible.” She glances between me and the road. “You’ve got an interesting selection of friends for a quiet girl. The Northwind hockey team and the school outcast?”
“Interesting is one word.”
“Oh. And the Coach’s daughter, apparently. Who knew that chick was cool? We need to make her a habit we can’t break.”
“Agree. Also, the guys are really into her. I’m curious to see if Maddie’s into any of them.”
“How could she not be?” Tisch mutters.
I perk my brows at her.
“Oh, don’t give me that look. They’re all pretty fucking hot, which is like stupid rare.”
“Okay, this is the first time I’m hearing anything like this out of your mouth. Tell me more.”
“Okay. Um…Cole Leman, obvs. The guy looks like he can pull off a leather jacket, ride a motorcycle, and do my taxes.”
I laugh harder. “I totally see it. Also, Hunter has a bike.”
“Ugh. I know. It’s probably also contaminated. I’ve seen about a hundred different girls on it. And that smirk he’s always got, nauseating.”
“Okay, not Hunter. What about Greyson?”
“Now we’re talkin’. Guy who can cook and stretch his thighs like that during warmup? Sign me up.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve seen it. Are they allowed to…do that?”
“Ha. It’s why I go. Also because Jake will bitch to our parents if I don’t come.”
We laugh and talk about boys the entire hour drive and take a few selfies along the way.
I haven’t done this in so long. Since junior high, when I had friends and a life. When my chest wasn’t thick with anxiety being around people, and I wasn’t constantly keeping my head down.
This feels different. It’s freeing, almost like I’m living in someone else’s body. But someone vaguely familiar.
Someone I’ve been keeping away. Like a woman with amnesia finally remembering who she is and where she came from. What kind of person she was before the traumatic blow to her head.
“You alright?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“You worried about people finding out you’re Shadow?”
I don’t want to say yes, but…I am. I only nod in response.
For tonight’s game, I’m going to send love on the app as Isla19. A simple message, nothing dirty.
Hunter says it’s a sure way to throw off anyone who might be suspicious.
Greyson laughed and asked Kane which one he’s going to heart.
My boyfriend had to think about it for a moment, like he was actually choosing between two different people. Then he winked at me and said, ‘They can fight it out.’
“Is your phone charged?” Tisch asks.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“You do realize that you’re stuck being my friend forever now, right? Because if you’re not and I ever meet your brother, I’ll tell him you’ve been cheering for the other side.”
“Nice, Bambi. Real nice. You know I’ve got something on you too, though, right?”
The Titans arena is somehow louder than ours.
Maybe it’s because I’m walking straight into it instead of hiding somewhere in the upper concourse. Or maybe it’s because everyone knows today’s a big one.
Either way, the noise hits first and hard.
Students in our familiar blue and silver jerseys pour through the entrance while music pounds through speakers.
I slow without realizing it. Like I’d somehow missed my seat in the back.
Tisch bumps my shoulder. “Already? Keep going, we’re up front. I know this place like the back of my hand. Row A is way down.”
“Sorry,” I breathe.
She hooks her arm through mine. “You good?”
“Sure, of course. I’m great. Just getting hot.” I take off my coat and rest it over my arm, following her.
She steers us through the crowd like she’s done this a hundred times. Moving like the arena belongs to her. While I move like I accidentally wandered into someone else’s family reunion.
The jersey, now on full display, probably isn’t helping. “Jesus, this school is…”
“Roudy and obnoxious? Yeah, I know. Theatre department sucks too. Stay close though, fans here aren’t known for being careful down the aisle.”
“Don’t have to ask me twice,” I mutter, gripping her arm tighter.
A group of guys who don’t exactly look like ushers, watch us come down the aisle. They’re all wearing Titans merch, jerseys and red hoodies. One guy points and it almost looks like it’s at me. His friend follows to where his finger is pointing, his eyes landing on me, then quickly away.
Get over yourself. They probably recognized the hot redhead beside you.
The same group of guys move about and point to someone else coming down the stands.
I follow out of curiosity and it’s someone else wearing a number nineteen Northwind Knights jersey.
I want to rip it off the blonde and tell her to choke on it. But then another side of me wants to ask if she wants to sit with us. We’re on the same team here, after all.
“Eyes up.” Tisch mutters.
“They’re up,” I tell her.
“They’re looking at someone behind us.”
I glance back to the guys up front, still flicking their gaze at us. “Those guys look like they’re looking for someone.”
“Oh. That’s the posse.”
“The what?”
“They’re lookin’ for trouble. Any reason to start a fight. They’re not going to find one here. Come on. Let’s sit. These are the seats Kane sent us.”
The crowd grows thicker. More jerseys. More painted faces.
“Tonight’s gonna be ugly,” someone chirps.
A group of girls in our school’s colors squeeze around us. “Excuse us.” One of them glances at my jersey, then offers me a small smile before following her friends.
Yep. All in my head. It’s all good. We’re just all on the same team here. That’s all.
We take our seats and they happen to be in front of the girls from our school. One taps my shoulder. She has a warm smile when I turn to face her. “Hey, I’ve seen you around campus with Kane Andrews. You his girlfriend?”
“I’m uh…”
“She is,” Tisch yells. “Now, back off, blondie.”
I elbow Tisch. “She’s kidding. I am, but it’s fine. I’m Isla.”
From the corner of my eye, the creepy Titans guys start to pile out, as if they got what they came for. It’s a relief. They were weirding me out.
“I’m Leslie. This is Cortney and Susan.”
Courtney—the one also in a Kane Andrews jersey—gives me a half-hearted smile, eyeing me like I’m nothing special. “Hey.”
I feel myself flush and quickly rattle off, “Okay, well, enjoy the game.” I turn back, wincing.
Tisch taps my knee. “You did good, Bambi.”
I’m supposed to do this every day for as long as we’re dating? Be the girl everyone looks at like they’ve seen him do better?
I settle the ball in my chest. I can deal with that. Probably.
That wasn’t so bad. Awkward, but not terrible.
Our seats sit just above the glass. Close enough to hear skates carve the ice. Close enough that when Kane looks up…he’ll find me immediately.
My stomach flips.
I look down at the red heart drawn at the bottom of my jersey. Small enough for me to know it’s there and for others to think it’s a ketchup stain.
Heart.
Shadow.
“The app. I almost forgot,” I whisper to Tisch.
She looks around and gives me the all clear.
I click on the app logo. My thumbs pause when I scroll through his fan page. I decide to do my new username first, Isla19. I already know what I want to say.
But the second I start typing, something cold and wet lands all over me, making me shriek.
“Oh my God.” A girl in front of me panics. “I am so sorry. I was just trying to squeeze past you.”
I look at the ginormous size of the spilled cup that completely drenched my front.
I stand. “Christ, what is that, a triple XL?”
“I do love my Diet Coke,” she winces. “Here, I’ll help you get cleaned up.”
I hand Tisch my phone, which is also soaked, and my purse. “Can you hold this for me? I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll come with you.”