Senior (The Dillinger Chronicles #1)

Prologue Senior

SEVERAL YEARS AGO…

“I’m seeing someone.”

I turned my head in Stephanie’s direction. She couldn’t have just said that while I was laying my naked ass in her bed. She’d called me over here last night and things went the way they always did the last couple of years.

The relationship had ended. The feelings…

well they would always be there. But the sex…

damn. Neither of us could let that go. We’d always had great sexual chemistry.

Shit, that was the reason we had Deuce’s ass.

More than that, though, Steph was a good friend.

Dare I say she was my favorite baby mama?

I met her when Blake and I were heavy on the block. Back when our father was making us work our way up to taking over for him. Imagine that. Being the sons of a kingpin but working as a corner boy.

It wasn’t shit to us though.

We were born and bred for that shit. Just two young niggas making a dollar outta fifteen cents. That hustler’s spirit dwelled deep in us back then. Females thought we were handsome ass niggas but didn’t want to give us any play because of where we fell on the totem pole.

Steph was different.

Then I found out she went to my school. To say that I was smitten was an understatement.

Every nigga in our class wanted her, but she wasn’t having it.

I was convinced that all she needed was me.

She was so damn fine and had my ass sprung.

I mean, I was thirsty as hell for her. Every time she walked past me on the block while making her way to the corner store, I abandoned my post to follow her.

There I was trying to buy her the whole damn store, and she only ignored my ass.

She made it clear that she had her own money because she had a job and wasn’t interested in me trying to impress her.

I’d quickly learned that I had to come with more than flashing my money if I wanted her.

So, I struck up real conversations with her about real shit.

I made an effort to get to know her and found that I really did like her.

Before I knew it, she was mine.

As happy as I was about that shit, somewhere along the line, we fell off and just never got back right like I thought we would.

We’d been off and on most of our adult lives.

I loved her. Even through my relationships and kids with other women, she’d always been the one that got away.

I’d asked her to marry me countless times and she always said no.

Her telling me that she was seeing someone was throwing me for a loop.

“The fuck did you just say?” I asked, sitting up.

She repeated that bullshit with ease. “I’m seeing someone.”

“How long?”

“Casually for a few weeks now. He wants to get serious, and I think I do too.”

“What the fuck, Steph? What about us?”

She laughed as she sat up. “There is no us, Stanley. We’re too damn old to be sneaking around, anyway. We have a grown ass son, and you have Maddie. Didn’t you say she was the love of your life?”

“I do love Maddie, but you damn well the love of my life has always been you.”

“No, it was me then Allison, then Tavia, then Maddie. And in between the four of us, I’m sure there’s been more. I accepted a long time ago that we weren’t end game.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“How is it bullshit when you moved on and fell in love every time we broke up?”

“You kept leaving me. I was the one trying to make things permanent. I’ve proposed to you six times Stephanie. Six times with six different rings. You’re the one who kept saying no.”

“Stanley, I only want to get married once. I love you, but I’m tired of the make up and break up routine we’ve been on since we were kids.

I want something solid and you know as well as I do that we are everything but that.

I wish it could have been you, but it’s not.

Why is this such a big deal? You didn’t care when Allison and Tavia got married. ”

“They aren’t you. Do I love them? Yes. But I was, am, and always will be in love with you.”

She palmed the side of my face with a smile.

“You know, I will always love you. But it’s high time that I put me first. He’s a really good man, and I want to see where things go with him. Let me have that.”

“So… was this a goodbye fuck?”

“Yes. You know it’s not too late for you to find the real love of your life and settle down for once. I want you to be happy, too.”

I grabbed her wrists and kissed her palms. “You make me happy, baby. If you want me to leave Maddie, I’ll do that.”

She shook her head. “It’s bad enough we’re doing this, Stanley. She doesn’t deserve this. Both of us are wrong as fuck and you need to let her go if you’re gonna play with her heart. I think it’s best if we end this for good.” She leaned in and kissed me softly. “How about one for the road?”

I frowned. “I don’t like this shit.”

She rolled over on top of me, straddling my lap.

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

Like the sucker I was for her, I fell in line with her request. Maybe we were too old for this same song and dance, but I was living in the era of my shoulda, coulda, wouldas. I’d spent most of my life with this woman.

I’d never love another the way I loved her.