Chapter 17
Sydney on a Saturday night was a whole different world than Wattle Vale.
Ellie watched the ferries trundle across the harbour from Emma-Jane’s little balcony as the sun set beyond the Opera House.
She drew in a salt-laden breath of air. Released.
Glanced at Katie, seated nearby, wrapped in a faux mink blanket, eyes closed.
“This is good, right?”
“So good,” Katie murmured, before opening her eyes and giving Ellie a small smile. “Thanks for making this happen.”
“Hey, thank Emma-Jane. She’s the one who has opened up her flat and given up her time alone with Jordan.”
She sighed. “I don’t deserve this. I’ve been so selfish.”
“Mm, it’s easy to get caught up in our own world sometimes. And you know we love you.”
“At least some people do.”
“Some people,” meaning some other people did not. Like Jason Willoughby. Who still hadn’t made any effort to connect. It was like he’d dropped off the planet.
“Look, if God wants you with Jason, don’t you think He’ll make a way?”
Katie’s bottom lip trembled. “And if He doesn’t?”
“Then He’s obviously got someone better for you.”
“But I don’t want someone better.”
“Katie, since the man is ghosting you, then yes, you definitely do. You can trust God, okay? He’s got good plans for you.”
Which may or may not include a husband in her future.
Which was definitely not something she would say to Katie today, but was something Ellie was slowly starting to think about herself.
What if there was no guy for her? Was that the end of the world?
Could God be trusted if Ellie were not to have a husband or a family?
If God had good plans for her, then why did she try and narrow God’s good plans down to this one thing: having a husband and a family?
Maybe God had something else in mind for her.
He might want her to get a job far away or be a missionary, and a husband and a family would just get in the way of that.
Maybe there was something even more astounding, something she’d never dreamed of, just like that verse about how God could do exceedingly abundantly above all she could ask or imagine.
Why did people always shrink down God’s plans to look a certain way?
Like Christians needed a standard blueprint for their lives to be considered “successful.” God was bigger than that.
Bigger than her hopes. Bigger than her dreams. And while she might feel this eddying swirl of disappointment, still the promises of God were enough to keep her head above water, like a life vest while she bobbed around the sea.
None of this was something she could share with Katie just yet.
Or even Emma-Jane, who might not appreciate her matchmaker app being regarded as a tool to fuel a narrow vision of what a Christian’s life should look like.
Still, faith called out each night before she went to sleep, begging her to trust God, and if no man was God’s plan for her future, then she’d pray to be okay with that.
The door behind them opened, and Emma-Jane joined them. “So, are you two ready for some fun?”
Katie shook her head. “I just want to stay in.”
Emma-Jane glanced at Ellie and shrugged. “Look, Katie, I know you’re feeling sad, but hey, a bit of distraction might be good for you. We could go to the movies, or eat whatever food you wanted, or see a concert, or go dancing—”
“I know I’m lame, but all I want to do is watch that true crime show on Netflix,” Katie murmured.
“That doesn’t make you lame,” Emma-Jane said, ruffling Katie’s hair.
Even if it did make her a little dark. But then Katie had always liked her gothic whodunnits, and this series with its focus on solving historical mysteries seemed to tick all of Katie’s boxes.
“Well, in that case, we could order in Thai and watch it with you. We do have the concert tomorrow afternoon after church.”
“Do you want to call Jordan to come watch it too?”
“Hmm, I might call him and see if he still wants to go out. He won’t have gotten too far, and I could meet him there.”
“I feel bad for breaking up your date plans.”
“Hey, it’s not broken, just delayed a little, but we might still be able to sort it out. If Ellie doesn’t mind staying here with you.”
“I’ve got Charlie. He’s good company,” Katie said, as Emma-Jane’s cat wove between their legs before leaping up onto Katie’s lap, like he sensed she needed a cuddle.
“I’m happy to stay. Just point me in the direction of the nearest takeaway Thai menu.”
Five minutes later, after ordering chicken and cashew nuts (Ellie’s go-to) and pork in plum sauce (Katie’s), plus a selection of sides, they were on the living room couch, watching Emma-Jane’s stylish self slip into high heels. “I’ll be back by midnight!”
“Else you’ll turn into a pumpkin.”
“Good thing Jordan loves pumpkin,” Emma-Jane winked, then departed.
“It was good that Jordan was able to change his plans yet again,” Katie murmured.
“Blessed are the flexible, for they bend and don’t break.”
Jordan had come by train early this morning to run with Emma-Jane; then the two of them had hung out until Ellie and Katie had arrived midafternoon.
He’d stayed until sunset, then caught a train home, cancelling his planned evening with Emma-Jane, until he received a call from her encouraging him to get off at Central Station and catch another train back to meet her at Circular Quay.
“Jordan is a good man,” Ellie continued, without thinking.
Katie’s breath shuddered, and she realised how it might be received.
She grabbed her sister’s hand and gently squeezed. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Okay?”
“How can you know that?”
“Because God is in control.”
Katie nodded, then settled into watching the show while Ellie made rice to go with their meal. She didn’t believe in paying for rice they could easily make themselves. Sensible as always.
Forty minutes later, they’d enjoyed their meal, and Katie’s blinks were getting longer. Ellie bit back a smile, watching her sister’s head loll as she defiantly tried, like a small child, to stay awake.
Ellie moved the plate containing the last spring roll from her sister’s blanket-covered stomach, as it was in danger of falling to the floor. “Hey, you can watch the rest of this tomorrow after church.”
“Want to watch it now,” Katie mumbled.
“Okay then.”
She let her sister continue, but the subject matter didn’t really interest her. But the talk of forensics and detectives reminded her of someone else. “Do you remember Chris Brandon?”
“Who?”
“That detective we sat next to at the murder mystery weekend.”
“Oh. Him. What about him?”
“I reckon this is the kind of stuff he’d do.”
Katie peered at her. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
As tempted as she was to try and distract Katie with thoughts about another man, she knew Katie probably wasn’t ready just yet. Who knew if Chris Brandon was even still single? Although he had seemed quite interested in Katie.
As the show continued, she went onto her social media sites and looked up Chris Brandon. Nothing. Which wasn’t surprising, considering he was a detective and probably didn’t want the world knowing his business. But still, he’d been a nice guy, and it would be good to touch base with him again.
Hey God, it would be great to see him again. But not my will but Yours.
The screen continued to flicker with images. And again her thoughts flicked back to Ethan, about whom she’d prayed a very similar prayer.
And although she’d prayed that God would take away her feelings for him, still they persisted.
Lord, I don’t know why I still feel this way. Please help me to get over him. It would be nice to see him again and feel nothing. And maybe one day it would be nice to feel like she could congratulate him on his engagement and actually mean it.
But that would take more faith than what she had right now.
She sighed, ate the last spring roll, and sank into the lounge.
“There are so many people here,” Katie complained as they made their way along the Opera House concourse to where the free concert was being held.
After going through security, they found space on the steps, and quickly sat, claiming their spots.
They were in the unticketed area, on top of the tiered steps, which allowed them to see the band probably a little better than some who had paid for the premium seats.
The band, one of the iconic Australian groups from the 1980s, might not be their usual cup of tea, but they’d grown up listening to a number of their songs, thanks to the music her parents played in the café kitchen.
And it was a buzz to be here amongst the living—not dissecting memories of the dead like on Katie’s TV shows—and enjoying the sunshine in sight of the Harbour Bridge.
It was almost like she could finally relax, like God had gifted her this day to say Hey, it’s not all doom and gloom. I’m still with you. You can trust Me. She’d even seen Katie crack a smile or two as a particularly iconic song was played.
“Do you two remember Mum and Dad dancing to this one?” Emma-Jane asked as “Electric Blue” was performed.
“Dancing? Dad?”
“Maybe it’s because I’m older than you, but I still remember them dancing in the kitchen whenever this song came on.”
“Maybe I was too young to remember.”
“Come on. It wasn’t that long ago,” Emma-Jane scoffed.
“Nope. I’ve got nothing.”
“Me either,” Katie said.
“Do you think she’s making it up?” Ellie asked Katie.
“Probably. She and Liv like to do that, to pretend they know stuff and create false memories.”
“Hey, we’ve never done that,” Emma-Jane protested, grinning at Ellie.