Chapter 22
It was one thing to dream about the man she had long admired returning to her life.
It was quite another for the man of her dreams to see the reality of what she was like.
And nothing said reality like looking in the mirror and realising her eyes had slitted to unrecognisable size and colour, while her nose had expanded to twice its size from all the crying and sniffling she’d been doing.
How Ethan could say he wanted to spend time with this was beyond her.
But maybe that was how attraction worked: The externals didn’t matter as much as the inner connection.
All those inner qualities one person appreciated about another.
All those invisible ties crossing and recrossing, braiding together like a rope.
A strong rope that could not be easily broken.
And with God at the centre of both persons, well, what a strong cord that could be.
Yet she still couldn’t believe he still wanted to talk to her, with her red eyes and snot infestation on his collar after her epically awful breakdown earlier. Ugh, she was so gross. And yet, he hadn’t seemed to mind. Had seemed relieved that she hadn’t pushed him away again.
And now he was waiting in the living room while she fussed with her hair and makeup so she didn’t look quite so bedraggled as before. Yet she didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard either. Especially not when he’d said he’d appreciated her realness and lack of artificiality.
She finally gave up trying to look perfect and tiptoed down the hall.
Traced the cover of The Nonesuch she’d placed on the side table.
Peered into the living room to see him smiling at the silver-framed photographs on the mantelpiece.
They were probably dusty. Probably embarrassing.
But they were normal pictures of her sisters and herself, even if the most recent one had likely been taken more than fifteen years ago.
A floorboard squeaked and Ethan swung around. “You looked cute.”
Cute?
He held up a frame. “This one. You looked like you were dressed as Winnie the Pooh.” He pushed up his glasses. “Was it a dress-up day?”
“No. I chose to dress like that every Thursday when I was twelve.”
He snickered. “You’re funny.”
“You’re weird. What kind of question was that anyway?”
He replaced it. “I don’t know. I guess my family never had dress-up days like that. We tended to dress up to look like the perfect people in Dad’s political photos, not because we were having fun.”
Poor Ethan. She took a step closer to him. His gaze lowered then instantly shot up. She raised a brow.
“You look different than before.”
“I was aiming for less red.”
“You achieved that. And achieved something more.”
“What’s that?”
He held out a hand, tugged her closer. “You’re beautiful.”
She smiled. “You probably need to change your prescription.”
He shook his head, removed his glasses, then popped them on the mantlepiece. “I can see just fine. Especially this close.”
Her head tilted, her skin prickling as he lifted a hand and tucked a chunk of magenta hair behind her ear. “Did I mention I like this colour on you?”
“No.”
“I like this colour on you.”
She smiled. “Do you now?”
He nodded. “Now. And forever.”
Then he drew closer still, and she was very glad she had just brushed her teeth as his face lowered to hers.
And while she’d never kissed a guy before, it was like her body knew what to do, her eyes drifting closed, as she felt his hush of breath on her face, before his lips tentatively brushed over hers.
Oh. She sighed, then slid her hands up his shirt, and he hummed deep in his throat and wrapped her more securely in his arms, his mouth finding hers again. Then again. Again and again.
Then his lips were clinging to hers as heat rushed up from within and passion took over, forcing her to wrench away, surprised at such intensity.
His eyes were half hooded. “Was that too much?”
“That was just right.”
His lips curved on one side, and then he leaned in to kiss her again. But this time with feather-light kisses.
“I don’t want to stir things too much,” he murmured against her mouth. “Not when I’m enjoying this with you.”
She had to know. “So … am I kissing okay?”
“Oh, Ellie. Kissing you is like when a parched man in a desert finds a glass of ice-cold water. Perfection,” he mumbled, before diving in again.
She pressed in closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, sliding her hands up to his head, tugging him lower. She might never have kissed before, but it seemed she knew exactly what to do.
His gaze was hazy as he looked at her, and she suddenly remembered how her sister and Jason had looked, and realised just what kind of kissing they must’ve done to look this way. Which made her realise the kind of kissing she was doing now was probably not helpful if she didn’t want to go astray.
She leaned back, studying him. “I think it’s fair to say I quite like you.”
“How strange. I quite like you too.”
She giggled—she, who never giggled! “In fact, I quite like you an awful lot.”
“I feel exactly the same.”
“Is that so?”
“One hundred percent so. One thousand percent, even.”
She stroked his slightly stubbled jawline. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Thank you for not letting yourself be given up on.”
She laughed. “I don’t know if what we’re saying makes a lot of sense right now, but I don’t care.”
“It makes sense to me. I think you are amazing, and I’m so glad that you’re letting me show you that. Just a little.”
She bit her lip. “And your family won’t mind?”
He shook his head firmly. “Like I said before—they’ve treated me in a way that is not loving, so I am trying to be wise and set some boundaries with them.”
“Good.” And she snuggled close to his chest.
Having grown up with a family who was cool, aloof, and all about agendas and appearances, Ethan felt it strange and liberating to be with a family very much the opposite.
The Bennetts were warm and engaging, their straightforward affection shown as much by their good-natured teasing as it was in their hugs and kisses.
Even Mr. and Mrs. Bennett seemed to still like each other, which felt so odd to him.
He had few memories of his parents’ mutual affection, and most of the parents of people he knew who were still together seemed to tolerate each other at best.
But he could see how when people put faith and family first, rather than politics and pride, it could lead to feeling secure enough that they didn’t have a need to try to be something they weren’t.
Like he and Ellie. She kept smiling at him, relaxed, even when teased by her sisters.
Another sister, Emma-Jane, had made a surprise visit, along with her boyfriend, Jordan.
She’d expressed surprise at not connecting the dots and realising the man she’d met at a few city functions was Ethan.
“But now that I do know, well, I’m happy to spill the beans on anything you want to know about Ellie.”
“Hey!” Ellie protested.
“It’s okay. She’s always been the sensible one, so there’s not a lot to tell.”
“Everybody always says that like it’s a bad thing,” Ellie grumbled. “I’m not so very sensible, not always.”
He gently squeezed her hand. “I think it’s very reassuring to know there are no skeletons in your closet.”
“Is that because you don’t want your dad to be embarrassed?” Katie asked.
A hush fell over the room, and he realised this was something that needed to be said here, now, so all the Bennetts heard.
“My father has an agenda a mile wide. And it’s no secret that he’s looked for ways to improve his public image and boost his ratings in the polls.
And while my family might have schemed with Lucinda and her family to try and make that happen, it was never my intention to do that.
” He looked at Ellie. “Lucinda’s mother has a few months left to live, and she told me that she and my mother wanted Lucinda and I to marry. ”
Mrs. Bennett frowned. “But didn’t you say that your mother was a Christian?”
He nodded.
“Is Lucinda?”
“She’s said she claims faith, but I don’t see it in her actions.”
“Hmm. Do you really think your mother, a good Christian woman, would hold you to something so ridiculous as wanting to see you married to a woman who doesn’t truly follow the Lord?”
Huh. When she put it like that, it did seem weird.
And now that he thought about it, perhaps in saying “care for Lucinda,” Mum had meant to speak the truth to Lucinda so she could truly be saved.
Like a kaleidoscope, the pieces shifted, and he could see anew.
Guilt lifted. His heart squeezed. Had some of this mess been his fault, after all?
Well, obviously it had. But could his misinterpretation have added to things?
“To thine own self be true,” Mrs. Bennett continued, “and follow God. Not your mother’s wishes, not your father’s whims, but walk in God’s will.”
“Well said.” Mr. Bennett shifted on the couch and reached towards the tray on the coffee table holding leftovers from the day.
The family with the missed booking had not returned, necessitating a lot of extra work for nothing.
Although, given the fact that Ethan had showed up here with Charlene still in tow, and Emma-Jane and Jordan and their cousin Annabelle were visiting too, the leftover food was perfect for an impromptu party.
And while there was no truffle-dusted anything here, he again appreciated the humble informality. It was honest food, delicious and filling. Just like the Bennetts who had made it.
“So, what happens if Ellie gets the job in Canberra?” Katie asked.
“Job?” He turned to Ellie. “What job?”
She told him about an upcoming interview, which drew new determination. Very well.
“It’s called a long-distance relationship,” Emma-Jane said.
He shrugged. “Or I could get a job in Canberra too.”
Ellie turned to him. “What? No. You have a job in Sydney.”
“I decided when my father threatened my chance at promotion that I didn’t really want to work in an environment that would allow for that. So I’ve been looking for a new job, plus I’ve been investigating starting youth pastor studies. I really enjoy knowing that what I’m doing makes a difference.”
“Aw.” Katie’s exclamation of approval was echoed by her mother.
“Katie has about ninety-nine percent of Mum’s DNA,” Ellie stage-whispered.
“I can promise you I only have about one percent of my dad’s,” Ethan replied.
“Good to know,” she said, studying him.
“Good to know.”
For a moment, the world faded, and there was nothing except Ellie and Ethan.
Her smile, the light in her eyes, everything about her drawing him like a moth to a flame.
But he didn’t care if he was burned. The old him needed to be burned away.
All the old practices and mindsets needed to be cast off and his attention focused on what God wanted. Just like Mrs. Bennett had said.
He squeezed Ellie’s hand, then lifted it to his lips, pressing his mouth there. “Thank you for letting me come today.”
Her smile tilted. “I don’t recall having much of a choice.”
“You could have kicked me out.”
“I could have as soon as cut off my own arm,” she admitted quietly.
“I’m glad you have both arms,” he said.
“Me too.”
“What are you two talking about so seriously there?” Katie asked.
“Oh hush, child. Leave them be. It’s good to see your sister happy,” Mrs. Bennett said.
And judging from the kiss Ellie gave him when it was time for him to go, she was very happy indeed.