5. Secret Weirdo
Secret Weirdo
The mailbox was empty save for a cute little envelope bearing a hand-drawn logo with tiny creatures climbing all over it: Bob Is Not Your Neighbour.
Theo hadn’t expected it to arrive so soon.
It was lucky no one else checked the mail but him.
The last thing he wanted was for Caleb to see his name on the package.
He’d bought three stickers: a fluffy fur-monster with the caption, It’s the humidity, a boat-like creature with rainbow sails and the words, Get in, loser, and a bug-like creature with an absurd amount of limbs saying, Don’t squish me! I pay my taxes too!
Taking the stairs two at a time may have been a mistake because he was out of breath when he knocked on Dae’s door.
“Hey, if you don’t tell me to screw off by the count of three, I’m coming in.
Three, two…” He opened the door to find Dae at his desk with the notebook he’d obviously just slammed shut.
Which was fine. It didn’t make Theo wildly curious at all.
“Here.” Theo gave him the stickers with a smug air of accomplishment. “Slap these on your computer and you’ll have something to talk to Caleb about. Ad nauseam.” Dae stared down at them with the tiniest fragment of a smile. “What?”
“Just…” His smile grew ever so slightly, but no dimples yet. “You accusing someone else of being chatty.”
Theo recognized that his flair of joy at being teased by Dae Moon was disproportionate to the moment, but he couldn’t help it.
“If my help is unwanted, I’ll leave.” He reached for the stickers, but Dae pulled them away.
“Your help is wanted, but I can’t put these on my laptop.”
Another flair. Radiant joy. “Say that again.”
Dae’s head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. “I can’t put—”
“Not that part.”
He let out a half-frustrated-half-amused huff. “Your help is wanted.”
“One more time.”
A squashed smile. “Theo.”
“Okay, fine.” The bed creaked as Theo sat down. He was tempted to crawl under the covers, but figured they weren’t exactly there yet. “Why can’t you put them on your laptop? Are they too silly for the insufferably mature Dae Moon?”
“No.” A tiny breath of a word.
“Too childish? Too whimsical? Too quirky?”
“They’re my drawings.”
Theo’s brain was too busy thinking of more synonyms, so when Dae’s words finally penetrated his consciousness, he let out a very dignified, “Huh?”
Dae handed him his notebook, and there they were: the adorably wacky characters with their charming, weird catchphrases. Dae was Bob Is Not Your Neighbour.
Theo’s cheeks ached with the force of his smile. It felt like, after spending so long borderline obsessing about him, he had a chance at understanding Dae Moon. “What does the name mean?”
“I was fourteen. I thought it sounded funny and mysterious.” Dae fidgeted with the sticker in his hand, giving it his full attention. “Do you, um,” he said as an adorable blush exploded on his cheeks, “like them?”
“Of course I like them, but I like that my friend is a secret weirdo even more.” Dae tried so hard not to look happy: tight lips with his gaze focused on his hands.
Theo wished he could flip whatever switch existed inside him that would allow him to just show how he was feeling.
But he had to focus on one mission at a time.
“You know you’ll have a friend for life if you tell Caleb you’re Bob, right? ”
“No.” His eyes shot to meet Theo’s. “Don’t tell anyone, please.”
“Okay, okay, pinky swear.” Dae reached out his hand and Theo tried not to laugh. “Figure of speech, Dae. Do I get to know why we’re not taking this very obvious and simple route to friendship?”
He bit his lip, his teeth sliding across the surface, making Theo very grateful for the open window and the breeze cooling down the suddenly warm room.
But then Dae swivelled away, turning his chair so all Theo saw was the top of his head poking out from behind it.
“He interprets them in his own way, right?
If he knows who draws them, it'll change the way he sees them.”
“Are you Doctor Claw? Why are you turned away?” He didn’t answer. “That was an Inspector Gadget reference.”
“I got it.”
“Are you regretting telling me about this?”
His voice was so soft, Theo could barely make it out over the sounds of students passing by the window. “Yes.”
That stung, but Theo tried not to take it personally. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No.”
The sting was replaced by something warm and confusing. “Can I look at the pictures while you process?”
“Sure.”
He curled onto his side and flipped through the notebook, chuckling at the particularly funny drawings.
This glimpse into Dae’s brain was intoxicating, and Theo wanted more.
He was just so…weird. It was fascinating to see the evolution of the pictures.
No wonder he was always scribbling in his notebooks; there were pages and pages of drafts before settling on the final version.
Theo was so engrossed in the drawings that he didn’t notice Dae had turned around. When he finally looked up, he found Dae studying him. Theo waited for him to say something, but as usual, his thoughts remained a mystery.
“I love these, Dae. You’re a mad genius.” Dae’s blush was irresistible, and Theo vowed to make it happen as often as he could. “If it’s your site, then you sent these. You knew I ordered them.”
Dae nodded. “I figured Caleb made you.”
“There’s postage. Why not just walk them down to the mailbox?”
“I don’t physically make them in the dorm. I send a file to a comic shop downtown and they produce them and ship them out.”
“Cool. You’re like, an entrepreneur.” Why did every piece of information about Dae only make Theo more intrigued? “Okay, well if we’re not using this to bond with Caleb, then you have to start knitting. I’m afraid there’s no other option.”
“Or…” He bit his lip again and Theo shifted on the bed trying to keep his body under control. “I could cook you all dinner?”
Theo sat up so fast, it made Dae tense. “Yes. Amazing. Tonight?”
He nodded, so Theo opened their roommate group chat.
don’t eat dae is making something
Jason
Caleb
Ohhhhhh what are we having?
Dae
That depends. Can you guys handle spicy?
For a white guy
Jason
Caleb
I think so?
Dae
I’ll go easy on you.
Theo offered to help, which resulted in him chopping garlic while Dae did literally everything else.
Theo had seen him cook before, but now, his concentration was next level.
No recipe, no measuring, no talking. He played music from his phone and bobbed his head as he moved around the kitchen.
The songs ranged from classic rock to upbeat alternative to K-pop.
Jason and Caleb instinctively fell in line when they returned, silently setting the table and patiently waiting as the savoury smell made them all ravenous. Finally, they sat down at their small table and dug into one of the most delicious noodle things Theo had ever tasted.
“It’s called japchae,” Dae told them. “My mom makes it better.”
Everyone except Theo was eating with chopsticks, which made him feel lame, holding his dumb fork. “Someone teach me how to use those.”
Jason shook his head. “How did you grow up in Toronto and never learn how to use chopsticks?”
“We didn’t eat out a lot. Just teach me.”
He and Caleb demonstrated, but then Dae took pity on him and positioned his hand, putting one chopstick firmly in the crease of his thumb, and the other in his fingers, like holding a pencil.
His fingertips were rough, and they dragged across Theo’s skin in a way he tried and failed to ignore.
Where was that autumn breeze when he needed it?
“Thanks,” he croaked, gently pulling his hand away, “I think I got it.” He managed to pick up some noodles, which was exciting until they slopped back down onto the plate.
“You’ll get there.” Dae said in an almost-whisper, and Theo finally realized that his cheeks were pink again. He tried not to stare. That blush was going to be the actual death of him.
Luckily, Caleb had news that demanded their attention. “I found Sticker Girl. The one I met during orientation.”
They all gasped and listened as Caleb told them about how he’d noticed her at music club auditions. Her name was Avery, she played guitar and bass, and her instrument case was also covered in Bob is Not Your Neighbour stickers.
Theo actively did not glance at Dae when he mentioned that. “You said you found your first one at a comic shop, right? Why did you keep buying more? What do you like about them?”
In the corner of his vision, he saw Dae go very still as Caleb put his chopsticks down, staring off into space, actually considering his answer.
“You know when something happens to you, and you feel like, ‘oh man, no one is ever going to understand this,’ and then you find someone who does, and it’s like, this huge relief?
I know this sounds dumb, but the art on those stickers is sort of like that.
I don’t know.” He shrugged, seeming a bit shy.
“They’re like, a bit lonely, but in a way that makes me feel like we’re all lonely together. Does that make sense?”
Theo hadn’t thought of Dae’s drawings as lonely, but there was a melancholy feeling about them.
“Was that too cheesy?” Caleb laughed, picked up his chopsticks again, and shoved a bite into his mouth.
“No.” Jason clapped him on the back. “I need to check out this website.”
“Me too,” Theo said. “Sounds like Bob is Not Your Neighbour owes you a marketing fee, Caleb.”
“Just spreading the joy, fellas.” Another dazzling smile. “Just spreading the joy.”
The conversation moved on, but Theo noticed Dae listening more intently and making more eye contact. He didn’t even go into his room that evening as Jason taught Theo how to play Mario Kart (okay, yes, he caved) while Caleb knitted.
“This one’s for you, Dae.” Caleb held up the forest green square. “Natural tones suit you.”
For the first time since they’d moved in, Dae gave him a genuine, dimpled smile. “Thank you, Caleb.”