7. Torrid Love Affair #2
He peeled his clothes off and dropped them into his laundry basket, not bothering with a shower before crawling on top of his bed in his boxers, despite the discomfort of his sticky skin.
He needed to get rid of the gross feeling crawling through him, and he could think of no better distraction than release.
His hand slid down his chest, soft fingertips tickling and teasing as he imagined his usual standby: a nondescript, generic man kissing him, his neck, his chest, then dropping to his knees.
Theo’s fingers dipped beneath his boxers, and he started to stroke as the fantasy solidified, the man’s mouth moving up his inner thigh, Theo’s fingers tangling in his thick, dark hair, his back against the shower wall, Dae sitting on the edge of the—
“No.” His hand stilled. No, no, no, not that.
Stupid, tipsy brain. He closed his eyes, conjuring his generic man: handsome, tall, muscular, not in their bathroom, but instead in some fancy penthouse.
Right. Better. He began to stroke again, moaning a little at the thought of a mouth covering him, hands on his hips, his head bobbing, pulling Theo closer, his dark eyes gazing up at him, a freckle stark against his skin, his ass inching forwards on the edge of the bathtub, his knees on either side of Theo, holding him steady as he took him deeper.
“Oh fuck.” Not Dae, not Dae, not Dae.
But his hand wouldn’t stop, and his foggy mind wouldn’t expel the image of Dae, refusing to forget the feeling of his hands on his hips, their bodies pressed together at the party, or Dae’s breath against Theo’s skin as he whispered in his ear.
“Oh fu–fuck.” His stomach coiled as his hand sped up; Dae’s scent, his moans, Dae licking and sucking, his mouth warm and wet, hand roaming up Theo’s stomach to his chest, reaching his fingers into his mouth—
“Fuuuuuuuuuuck.”
Theo shook as pleasure shot through his body and then onto his hand. He lay panting and exposed, the rumbling base from across the road seeping into the air, pulsing around him, spinning the room.
The guilt hit hard and fast. He’d just touched himself to the thought of his best friend.
Dae.
His Dae, who only remained his because he hadn’t crossed that line and fucked everything up. Like, apparently, Dae knew he would.
This moment didn’t have to become a problem if Theo didn’t let it. It was the result of a weird day of weird tension and an even weirder party with weird fucking alcoholic desserts. It didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything.
He shot up and marched to the bathroom, closing his eyes to avoid the sight of the bathtub at all costs, and got into the shower to wash away every single minute of the past twenty-four hours. Tomorrow was a new, normal day, and he would be the most normal best friend who ever best-friended.
??? ???
He’d still been awake when Jason and Caleb returned (without Dae, which was so fine it was actually the most fine).
They’d been victorious in a ping-pong tournament that earned them a paper-maché trophy, which had been given a place of prominence atop the fridge, displacing all five boxes of cereal.
Which was why Theo walked into the kitchen in the morning to find Dae sitting at the table behind a cereal-box wall.
Lilting facts about butter emanated from his laptop, disturbed only by the mumble he gave in greeting.
Theo picked up the box of Captain Crunch to reveal Dae’s pallid skin and ruffled hair. A half-eaten toasted sandwich sat before him, smelling so delicious Theo almost changed his stance on breakfast.
Normal, normal, normal. “Why are your baking shows always British?”
“It’s soothing.” His voice was scratchy, which wasn’t even sexy at all.
“Do you need to be soothed this morning?” Dae didn’t answer, and the sane part of Theo fought with his natural instincts to pry.
But he was being normal, wasn’t he? Supportive?
Friends who had never gotten off to the thought of their friends asked questions about their love lives, didn’t they?
“I think someone got smooched last night. Now the only question is, by one person or two?”
Dae leaned his head back, eyes closed. “Is there anything I can do to make you let this go?”
“There is not.” He ate some dry Captain Crunch, wincing as it scraped the roof of his mouth. “Was it one smooch or two?”
“Can you please stop saying the word smooch?”
“One or two, Dae?” He should’ve just shut up. If he was being perfectly honest with himself, he’d admit that he didn’t want to know. But at the same time, he needed to know. Fuck, what was happening to him?
Dae sighed the sigh that Theo was beginning to think was reserved for him. His Theo-sigh. “One.”
Theo forced an excited gasp and sat down next to him. “Who?”
Maybe Kabir had been wrong. Maybe he’d misunderstood Dae last year.
Maybe Dae was straight after all, and the person he’d kissed last night had been Jacinda, and they’d have a perfectly happy heterosexual life together making gorgeous babies and having boring straight sex that had nothing to do with Theo, because it couldn’t, because they were straight.
Dae tapped pause on his computer and the accented voices stopped, filling the room with the kind of silence that could drown a person if they weren’t careful.
He seemed to be wrestling with himself, his shoulders tense, the muscles in his jaw working for no reason.
His t-shirt was fraying at the collar, the threads brushing against the back of his neck with every breath.
Theo had the strange urge to reach out and rip them off.
“Kabir.”
Fucking hell.
Not straight.
Theo’s stomach twisted like he’d been betrayed, which was ridiculous, so it must’ve just been the cereal. He closed the box and scowled at it before opening the Lucky Charms and scooping a dry handful of that into his mouth instead.
“What’s wrong?” Dae asked, studying him a little too closely.
“No, nothing.” His voice was way too high and squeaky. “No, I just…” He forced out a dumb laugh. “I’m just a little stung you never told me you’re bi. I had to find out from Torrid Love Affair, which, well, I guess now he’s your Torrid Love Aff—”
“No, he’s not. And what are you talking about?” Dae shook his head like nothing in the world made sense. “I told you and the guys first year.”
“Nuh uh!” Perhaps not a very dignified response, but there was no way Theo knew Dae was bi. That definitely would’ve hindered his (super successful) attempts to squash his crush.
“Theo.” Dae’s sigh was a bullet, short and pointed. “It was the Halloween party. You were trying to find me a hook-up for the night and asked what my type was?”
A hazy, alcohol-soaked memory surfaced: Dae dressed as Toad, his vest open, revealing his bare chest beneath, Jason and Caleb as Mario and Luigi, leaning into the huddle, everyone straining to hear Dae’s answer over the music and laughter, Dae saying something and Jason and Caleb nodding, eyes shooting to Theo, who had been too distracted by Dae’s exposed skin to focus on anything else, but couldn’t admit that, so he’d just nodded.
Shit.
“Wait.” Dae seemed to be having some kind of revelation. “Did you think I was straight this whole time?”
“I mean…yeah?” His cheeks were burning. His ears, too. Hell, his whole damn body was on fire.
“Theo!” Dae’s laughter was too joyous for the situation. “Are you messing with me? You really didn’t know?” Why did he seem so happy? “But you kept telling me to ask out my language lab partner.”
“Right, Toni. A girl.”
“Tony. A guy.”
“That is a unisex name, Dae!” How had he gone a whole year without realizing? Had he really been that determined to mark Dae impossibly off limits that he’d ignored every clue that he was queer?
“I—” Dae squashed his lips together in an attempt to wrangle his smile. He was having entirely too much fun with this. “I can’t believe you’ve…”
He trailed off, shaking his head with a soft smile.
“We’re getting off track.” Theo needed to contain this situation. Yes, Dae was bi, great, good for him and congratulations to the entire human population, but that didn’t change Theo’s mission. Dae deserved to be with someone amazing, and Theo was going to make that happen. “Kabir.”
Dae’s smile dropped. “What about him?”
“Did you like kissing him?”
Another Theo-sigh floated out of Dae as his amusement dissipated and he shrunk into himself. “I’m begging you.”
“Talking about social situations and getting input about it helps to alleviate social anxiety.” He’d read some books about it over the summer. “It normalizes…something, I don’t remember. Just tell me. Please?”
“Uuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh.” Dae melted into the chair, leaning his head back. The muscles in his neck strained and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
Theo closed his eyes, willing away the image of him on the edge of the bathtub, looking up as his mouth—
“Are you going to see him again?”
A quick shake of his head.
Shameful relief. “Because you don’t like him or because you’re shy?”
“Both.” He picked at his sandwich, ripping off a piece of the bread and placing it in his mouth slowly, like he wasn’t sure he actually wanted it. “We have that group thing today.”
Theo had forgotten about the group thing. “Why didn’t you like him?”
“Too forward. We’re meeting Jacinda and her roommates at seven. Do you still think we should go?”
“Yes. Did he make you uncomfortable?” His blood was running hot at the thought of Dae being forced into something.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, but if you said no, and—”
“I didn’t say no.” Exasperation poured from his very soul. “He kissed me, I kissed him back, then I stopped kissing him back, and he got the hint. Can we let it go?”
Be normal, Theo! Normal friends didn’t fixate on the people their friends kissed the night before. Even if the person they kissed was an ex-lover whom, if memory served, really knew what he was doin—
“Theo, are you with me?”