Septembers

14. Haunting Melodies, Burnt Cheese, and an Announcement

Haunting Melodies, Burnt Cheese, and an Announcement

Rob ended up being Handsy Booth Guy, which Theo wasn’t crazy about in the first place, so when his texting turned boring, Theo told him he was becoming a priest and called it a day.

The weekend ticked by slowly. He couldn’t concentrate on homework, and not even a movie night with Jordan could hold his focus. She was in her fifth year because she’d switched her major again, insisting hospitality was seriously it this time.

Her new apartment off campus was the classic student experience: a bachelor that was so tiny, she had to put her couch directly beside the bed, creating one giant, amalgamous cushiony surface.

They were snuggled under a fuzzy blanket, straining their vision to watch her tiny laptop. She nudged him a few times, telling him to pay attention to ‘the best part,’ of which there were many, but it didn’t work.

“What’s wrong?”

“With me?” He struck an unconvincing pose. “Nothing, ever.”

She threw a piece of chocolate in the air, missing her mouth by a lot. “Where are your boys this weekend?”

“Dates. Well, not Dae.”

“Never Dae.”

Theo huffed. “What does that mean? He had a girlfriend.”

“Oh right.” She shook her head, slightly dumbfounded, as if the idea of Dae with a girlfriend was unfathomable. “I barely see Jacinda around anymore.”

“They broke up over the summer.”

She gasped, twisting her body to face him, gossip mode activated. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” And it killed him. “They didn’t tell me.”

“Huh…” She disappeared inside herself for a moment, then nodded. “Good for her.”

Theo let out a pffffttt. “What makes you think it was Dae’s fault?”

She levelled him with a stare that he refused to interpret as anything other than her own broken heart. Becks had messed with her for years, coming in and out of her life when she wanted a pick-me-up, but always, always leaving again.

“What about you?” Perfect deflection. “When are you getting back out there?”

“I’m not ready.” She put on a dramatic pout. “My heart is broken. Mend it, please?”

“I don’t know the first thing about mending broken hearts. I’m usually the cause.”

Her eye-rolls were the stuff of legend: exaggerated to the point of physical comedy. “I’ll do us both a favour and pretend you didn’t just say that.” They stared at each other, thinking, then at the same time said, “Ice cream?”

“That would require us venturing into the outside world, though.”

“Ugh, hard pass.” She leaned over the side of the couch to get her guitar, Dottie Hinson, which was never far out of reach (not that there was room in her apartment for anything to be out of reach).

She often strummed as they chatted, though something about this moment felt different, her attention more focused as she softly hummed a melody.

Theo had a sense that magic was about to happen, so he stealthily got out his phone to record.

She sang one of her songs, slower than the original, and a thousand times more devastating, changing key in the bridge, and bringing it home with a sad, powerful ending.

She was breathless, her cheeks flushed and expression free, like she wasn’t in the room anymore, instead floating in some alternate reality made of pure sound. When she finally came back, she blinked at him, then clicked her tongue. “Theodore!”

He’d forgotten he was holding the phone. Forgotten where he was. The song had touched some part of his soul that needed to be touched. He ended the video and launched himself at her, careful to hug around the guitar. She would bludgeon him to death if he harmed Dottie.

“Jordan, that was— It was like you— How did…”

“Keep at it. You’ll finish a sentence someday.” Her words were dismissive, but she was positively sparkling. She’d done something special and she knew it. “Delete the video.”

“Hear me out.”

“No.”

He was moved, excited, desperate. “Jordan, the world deserves this.”

She gently placed Dottie Hinson on her bed, then twisted towards him again with crossed arms. “You know how I feel about my online presence.”

“I’ll disable the comments. I won’t include your name. I’ll blur your face. Please let me post this.”

She chewed her lip, her leg bouncing under her. “No one will even watch it.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about.”

She rolled her eyes, then circled back and rolled them again for extra effect. “This is so stupid. It was just a dumb song.”

“It was glorious, and you know it. Look what you did to me!” He held out his arm to show her the goosebumps.

She stared at him—hard—for a nerve-wracking eternity, then sighed. “Okay, fine.”

He whooped and immediately went to YouTube.

“Not right now, Theo! I don’t want to see it happen. And don’t tell me if people watch. I’m serious.” Her stern, pointed finger took up the majority of his vision, and he had to swat it away. “Not a word. Or even a smile or hug. I don’t want any body language on the subject.”

“Got it.” He crawled off the couch-bed and threw on his coat.

“You’re leaving? We haven’t finished the movie.”

“It’s a romcom, Jordan. Spoiler alert: They overcome whatever is standing between them and live happily ever after. Goodnight, Rockstar.”

Her eyes rolled again. It was possible Jordan had the strongest eye muscles on the planet. “Bye, Current Best Friend.”

??? ???

Dae was back by the time Theo got home. He, Jason, and Caleb sat around the kitchen table picking at nachos. The open windows did little to air out the smell of burnt cheese.

“A gathering. Perfect.” Theo took out his phone, his blood still pumping on overdrive. “You guys need to see something.”

Caleb offered the plate to him as he sat. The nachos were soggy, but whatever. Theo never refused cheese. “First, Dae has an announcement. We were waiting for you.”

Dae’s hair was chaos, as if he’d been pulling at it. “It’s not an announcement. I just have something to tell you.”

Caleb gave him finger guns. “Pretty sure that’s an announcement, bud.”

“Okay. Well. The thing is…” He slowly spun his World’s Best Nephew mug with his fingertips, watching the rippling tea as if reading his own future.

Then he heaved a deep breath, and his words came out mushed together.

“I was on this waiting list, and I got in, and it’s kind of a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I’m going to go, but I’ll pay for the room until you guys find someone. ”

Theo’s body was reacting to the words—a boulder forming in his stomach and his skin going clammy—before his brain caught up.

“Start again.” Jason leaned his elbows on the table. “Where are you going?”

“Korea.” Dae said the word as if it wasn’t bringing complete devastation.

“Whoa,” Caleb said as Jason asked, “For how long?”

“A year.”

“A year!?” Oh shit, that was Theo.

Dae barely flinched, his focus still on the tea. “It’s an exchange program with Seoul National University. My mom had me apply in the summer so I could experience Korea more than a few weeks at a time.”

“You didn’t say.” He hadn’t told them. Hadn’t told Theo.

“I didn’t get in, so I didn’t think it mattered, but someone dropped out, so…” The words were small, the vowels hurried and the consonants muffled, like he didn’t want to be understood.

Caleb was shaking his head, his jaw slack. “Korea.” It was more a sigh than a word. “That’s so cool.”

Cool? Their friend was leaving for a year, and Caleb thought it was cool?

Theo stood, not really meaning to, but his body wouldn’t stay still.

Jason asked questions like, where would he live, did he have friends there, and would he take the same classes?

Theo tried to listen to the answers, tried to keep his expression supportive, but there was a distracting rushing in his ears.

“That’s, um…” His throat was so dry. “It’s really great, Dae. I’m excited for you.”

“Thank you, Theo.” His face was hard to read, like he wanted support but was disappointed by it.

“You better send us pictures.” Theo threw everything he had into making his voice encouraging. “I want to see every delicious meal you eat.”

“Of course.” A small, dimple-less smile. “I know your priorities.”

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tom—” He stopped himself from sounding outraged. “That’s so soon.”

“I’m a week behind, so I have to catch up. My dad is picking me up in a few hours.”

A heavy quiet filled the room, and they stayed buried under it for a while, letting the fact that he was really leaving settle over them. Then Jason and Caleb went to get boxes, leaving Theo to help Dae sort his stuff.

He tried his best not to sulk up the stairs. “What time is your flight?” He didn’t care; he just didn’t want to drown in the crushing silence anymore. He didn’t even pay attention to the answer. “One sec.”

He disappeared into his own room and shut the door, taking long, deep breaths, digging in his closet for the gift-wrapped box he’d hidden. Dae had been there for him so many times. It was time for Theo to suck it up and be there for him.

Dae’s room was the same as they’d left it a few days ago, the sheets rumpled where they’d slept, the water glass still on the bedside table.

“I was obviously going to wait until your actual birthday, but you’ve given me no choice.”

Dae took the package like it was a bomb. “Do you want me to open it now?” He seemed legitimately scared, so Theo shook his head, watching as Dae tucked it safely into his bag. “Are you angry?”

“No.” The word came out too fast for either of them to believe it.

“Not angry, just surprised. And sad. Sadprised.” He tried to catch his gaze, but Dae was very intent on packing.

“But I am happy for you. If this is what you want, then… Well, I’m happy for you,” he repeated lamely, because he had no idea what to fucking to say.

Then the truth just stumbled out. “I’ll miss you. ”

“I’ll miss you too.” Voice soft. Back turned. Shoulders tense.

This time, Theo couldn’t help it, he had to try to melt away some of that stress. He seemed to accomplish the opposite when he put his hands on Dae’s shoulders and massaged, working his way towards the back of his neck.

“Theo.”

“I can’t let you get on a plane like this.

” It felt like putting his bare hands on a live wire.

He slid his fingers down his back, smoothing down his t-shirt.

Then, of their own accord, his hands circled Dae’s waist and clasped at his stomach.

Dae could probably feel his heart kicking at his back and his body reacting to him.

That should’ve made Theo pull away, but the thought of not hugging him was worse than any embarrassment or fear of crossing a line.

“Don’t forget about me.” His words came out squeezed, ground-up, and wounded.

“How could I?” Dae tipped his head back, leaning into Theo, and they stayed like that, gently swaying, until the front door opened, and Jason and Caleb stomped up the stairs.

Theo pulled away, wiped his wet face, and helped his friend pack, feeling his absence grow with every item they put in those damn boxes.

??? ???

have you forgotten what I look like?

Dae

I’m sorry, I bought a new phone, who is this?

your distractingly handsome and hilarious old roommate

Oh, hi Jason!

The sun glared off Theo’s screen, so he had to squint to see the picture Dae sent of a giant Toblerone.

He dared him to eat it all before the flight, but Dae didn’t respond.

Probably boarding and had to turn off his phone.

Or his hands were busy stuffing chocolate in his mouth. Theo hoped it was the latter.

He was walking to Jordan’s, easing his aching heart by scrolling through the comments on the video of her song. In his desolate grief, he’d forgotten to disable them, and woke up to the video going borderline viral.

“Look alive, Theo.” Jacinda was walking towards him, her hands up as if about to steer him away from traffic. Which he was definitely about to walk into.

She was the picture of autumn vibes with ripped jeans, a light cardigan, and her curly hair swaying with the slight breeze.

“Thanks.” He shoved his phone in his back pocket, mentally vowing not to walk-and-scroll. “Um, how are…things?”

They both winced. There was no avoiding the topic. “Things are okay with me, Theo. How are you?”

“Fine.” The lie came out as a squeak, and her expression made it very clear she didn’t believe it. “Okay, I will be fine. Someday.” She kept staring at him. “Once he’s back.”

She nodded, seeming proud that he eventually made it to the truth. “Did you guys talk?”

“Um, not really? He said he was on the waiting list and just got in.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did Dae tell you why we broke up?”

Holy shit, here it was. He was finally going to get answers. He scooched closer to her as a woman walked by them, bubbly pop music leaking from her headphones. “No, he didn’t.”

Jacinda seemed to war with herself but then shook her head and squeezed his shoulder. “If you need to get some ice cream and cry to sad music, you know where I am.”

What? He’d never been denied gossip for this long before. “You’re really not going to tell me?”

But she was already walking away, giving him a wave over her shoulder. “See you around, Theo.”

His phone buzzed, and he took it out to see a picture of Dae on the plane holding the fancy sketchbook Theo got him for his birthday.

Thank you.

i expect a creature inspired by me

I’m not sure how to capture ‘incapable of texting with proper punctuation.’

I won’t miss you at all

text me when you land