31. A Long Month #2
He snorted. Listened to Dae’s breathing. Wondered what he was wearing. Missed him so much his stomach hurt. “Dae?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Why didn’t you video call?”
He didn’t answer right away. “I don’t know. I wanted to hear you.”
“I don’t get it, but I get it.” He could hear him in a video, but this seemed more intimate: their voices reaching out, their imaginations filling in the rest…
Dae took a long breath. “In the movie, the character digs up the garden, hoping her ghost will scold him. He wanted to hear her voice again. I guess I wanted to hear yours. No distractions.”
“Are you really okay?”
“Hmmhmm.”
“So does it work?”
“Yes and no. She doesn’t speak, but it turns out she ruined the vegetables because there was lead poisoning the soil. She was trying to save him.”
“That’s…nice?”
A soft chuckle that warmed Theo’s blood. “I’m not selling it very well.”
“If you want me to watch it, I will.”
“That’s okay.” A rustling came through the receiver, and Theo knew he was burrowing under the covers. “Theo?”
“I’m here.”
“I miss you.”
“Which was the point.”
He could hear his smile in his voice. “Which was the point.”
Theo must’ve been all swoony when he came out of the bedroom, because the three of them looked at him with varying reactions: knowing, grinning, and in Jordan’s case, misty-eyed melancholy.
“How’s Dae?”
“Miserable without me, as it should be.”
“He’s a good one.” She put aside her guitar.
“Yeah, I might keep him.”
It was an easy thing to say, an old joke passed down from generation to generation, yet it seemed to affect Jordan. She nodded. “Keep him, Theo.”
He shared a questioning glance with Avery to make sure she was seeing what he was. The concerned way her eyebrows dipped confirmed it.
He sat on Céline beside Jordan. “Babe, you okay?”
She nodded, smiling, but the corners of her mouth dropped as if they were too heavy to keep up. “Becks is gone.”
“What does gone mean?”
“She left a few nights ago. I don’t know where she is.
” She talked to her knees as if they were the ones asking questions.
“It wasn’t a fight, exactly. I mentioned the possibility of moving to a bigger apartment now that we’re both making more money, and she got weird about it.
Said we shouldn’t rush into a commitment.
And I said, are you talking about signing a lease or us?
And she got defensive and said that I turn everything she says into some harbinger of doom about our relationship. ”
Theo rubbed her back as she roughly wiped tears from her cheek with her sleeve. Avery took her hand while Caleb got her glass of water.
“I’m sorry,” Jordan choked out. “I’m ruining the night.”
“Poppycock,” Avery said. “This night is about being with friends, and that’s what we’re doing. Since when is friendship only about the easy stuff?”
Jordan buried her face in her hands, “I never tell you guys the shit she pulls because I know you already hate her.”
“We don’t hate Becks.” Theo almost sounded convincing.
“Every time I want to complain about her,” she said, her voice hitching, “I think about how it’s one more thing you’ll add to the list of reasons we shouldn’t be together.”
Caleb gave her the water. “What’s different now? Why tell us?” Jordan went somewhere in her head, and the glass started to slide out of her fingers. Theo caught it before it could spill. “Do you…” Caleb’s voice was exactly as soothing as it always was. “Do you think she won’t come back this time?”
A broken sound clawed its way out of Jordan’s throat, and Theo and Avery cocooned her as she sobbed. When she spoke again, her words were a soft, defeated monotone.
“It doesn’t matter if she comes back this time. I’m done.”
Theo wanted to tell her she was better off, that she didn’t deserve the doubt Becks planted in her soul, that she was a ray of pure light that needed to shine. But he didn’t say any of that.
He just held on.
??? ???
im at that cute cheese place u love want anything
#1 Client Extraordinaire
god i love cheese
But no
focus on your anniversa-date
I’m okay
Promise
love you babe
Jordan hadn’t been out since that night at the apartment. Becks returned after a few days, refusing to tell her where she’d been but saying they should put it all behind them and find a new place to live. Jordan told her they should find new places to live. Separately.
Kensington Market seemed extra Kensington that day.
More voices connecting, more food being shared, more colours pouring out of stores.
Theo stopped to buy ingredients and then practically jogged home.
He’d busied himself with work and all the live music shows he could fit into his schedule, but it wasn’t enough to stop him from feeling Dae’s absence in his bones.
But tonight, to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Theo’s fateful fire-escape confession, they were meeting in person for the first time since Dae had ‘moved out’.
Theo put away the groceries and decorated the fire escape with candles and flower petals, which were much harder to extract than anticipated and made him feel like a botanic murderer.
As soon as he heard the key turning, he went to the door like a golden retriever wagging its tail. Which is exactly how he pounced on Dae, covering his face with kisses before he could get a word out.
Dae laughed into his mouth, dropped his bag and picked him up as Theo wrapped his legs around his middle. He carried him to Céline and balanced him against her back, letting Theo push his jacket off his shoulders.
“Hello to you too,” Dae said, breathless.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Snacks full of refined sugar.”
Theo gasped and pulled him in for another kiss, crushing their bodies together. “I bought vegetables.”
“You didn’t.”
Theo nodded, proud.
“What colours?”
“All the colours, Dae. And come look at this.” He took his hand and brought him to the fire escape, turning off the lights as they went. The candles cast a glow over Dae’s face as he smiled, his dimples winking.
“Wow. You must really love me, huh?”