Chapter 9 #2
“Maybe I have a selfish ulterior motive for sticking around until you feel like you’ve got your shit together enough to let me get closer.
And when I say closer, I mean in a naked and screaming way - because other than that specific adventure, I feel like I’ve become closer to you than any other woman I’ve ever known. ”
As Roscoe spoke, he pushed away from the shelf and edged closer, inch by inch, until I was pressed against the opposite shelves. I stared up into his intense blue eyes and swallowed hard before I managed to croak out, “What’s your ulterior motive?”
“I am spending all of this time getting to know everything you’ll share about yourself so that when Santa delivers your permission slip, I’ll be right there.
I”ll be the first person you think of to put those plans you’ve got in motion.
If I’m not, I’ll deal with it, but talking to you every day and seeing you almost every evening is the highlight of my life - a life I thought I was happy with until I met you. ”
“And now you’re not happy with it?”
“Not unless you’re beside me, Serana.”
“Oh.”
Roscoe tipped his head forward until our cheeks were almost touching.
“I’m a very patient man, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear.
“I’ll wait for you as long as you want me to.
But just know that the reward at the end of your self-imposed celibacy adventure is going to make both of us very .
. . very . . . happy. We’re gonna end up on Santa’s naughty list for the next year or two.
Actually, considering all the things I’m planning to do with you - and to you - we might end up with a permanent spot on it. ”
I swallowed so hard I was sure the sound echoed. But before I could get my brain online to form a coherent sentence, Roscoe asked in that same sexy whisper, “Do you think I should buy that Cajun seasoning or use the spices we have at home to make my own?”
“Huh?”
As if he hadn’t just blown my mind, Roscoe lifted his head and turned to face the spice selection we’d been perusing before this conversation. He reached for a bottle and held it out toward me. “Check out the ingredients, and tell me what you think.”
“About the spice mix?” I managed to ask, although it sounded a lot more like a squeaky hinge rather than my normal voice.
“Yeah.”
I swallowed hard again and cleared my throat before I reached for the bottle and said, “My guess is that whatever you do is going to be perfect.”
The corners of Roscoe’s mouth slowly turned up into a wicked grin, and his blue eyes seemed to be glowing when he said, “I’ll do my best.”
When he turned back toward the shelf I tried to catch my breath, but the question running through my mind wouldn’t let me calm my racing heart.
Why the hell had I arbitrarily decided that a year was the right amount of time?
Why?
◆◆◆
“I need you guys to stalk some people for me, but I don’t want you to ask me thirty-nine questions about who they are or give me any details about what you find unless it’s something horrible.”
Moe’s eyebrows got higher and higher as I spoke until she was just as wide-eyed as Taylor who was sitting quietly beside her. Taylor asked, “If cyberstalking is your new hobby, then why do we have to look shit up for you?”
“My new hobby?”
“Yeah. Moe’s got bingo, and you’ve got .
. . What would you call that? Diet stalking?
Stalking-lite? Oh! Second-hand stalking!
Right?” When Taylor looked at Moe, she just shrugged, so Taylor smiled at me and said, “We’ve all got our faults, so you do you, Boo Bear, but let me make it clear I’m not going to do anything illegal for you, even if someone deserves it. ”
“I’m not asking you to do anything illegal; just a few searches,” I assured my friend.
“Write down their names, last known locations, and anything else that might make them easier to find,” Taylor instructed.
“This clearly isn’t her first rodeo,” Moe quipped.
“Tell me you haven’t looked up your exes to make sure their lives are miserable,” Taylor ordered.
Moe grimaced before she asked, “Is it bad that I hoped they were fat too?”
“Sounds reasonable to me,” I said as I took Taylor’s pen and started making a list.
“All of these are Gonzales,” Moe said as she watched me list out my family members one by one. “Your family?”
“Parents, brothers, and sisters.”
“You’ve got family?” Moe asked.
“Did you think she was abandoned at a fire station and then raised by wolves, or what?”
I rolled my eyes at Taylor’s question. “Yes, I have family.”
“How did I not know that?”
I shrugged, and Moe slapped the desk before she said, “What else have you been holding out on?”
“Nothing that I can think of. It’s not a state secret or something.”
“Weren’t you two cellies for years?” Taylor asked. When I nodded, she looked at Moe. “How did you not know she’s got brothers and sisters?” Then she looked at me. “And why the hell don’t you know where they are?”
“I haven’t talked to anyone in my family since before my arrest.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
“That’s fucked up,” Taylor mumbled as she pulled the piece of paper closer to her. “So, you want me to find them, but not tell you about them?”
“I’m considering getting in touch with my mom, but probably not any of my siblings. You might not be able to find some of them on social media because they’ve served some pretty long sentences. I’m sure a few of the others have gotten out and gone back in a few times since I last heard anything.”
“Your whole family has been locked up?” Moe asked, her voice full of shock.
“Not my parents. I don’t think either of them has ever even had a traffic ticket.”
“Then how did you . . . all of you . . . turn out this way?” Taylor asked.
“That’s a nature versus nurture question we may have to ask Dr. Hamilton.”
“I get why you might avoid your siblings,” Moe said, “but why haven’t you talked to your parents?”
“Well, for one, I’m not even sure I’d be allowed to talk to my siblings since I’m not supposed to be cavorting around with felons.”
“Except us because we’re special,” Taylor said with a grin.
“Yeah. Special. That’s it,” I teased. Since I’d already put most of my business out there, I added, “I had an older sister who died of a drug overdose, so she’s not listed.”
“Damn. You’re all addicts?” When I nodded, she said, “That’s definitely something Dr. Hamilton could sink her teeth into, I’m sure.”
“I’m still pissed that you never said anything to me about them!” Moe complained. “What the fuck, Serana?”
“I was ashamed,” I admitted.
“That you had addicts in your family, or that you’d become one yourself?” Taylor asked.
“Both.”
“I get that,” Moe said sadly. I’d never heard such sadness in Moe’s voice as she admitted, “I haven’t ever gone home because I don’t want to see how people look at me now.”
Repeating what she’d said to me, I slowly nodded and said, “I get that.”
“You two are depressing as hell - not just because of what you’re saying, but because you’re voicing all the things I don’t want to admit. It’s making me twitch,” Taylor admitted. She picked up her phone and sent a text, adding, “We’re gonna have an impromptu meeting.”
“Just the three of us?”
“Nope. I called in the big guns,” Taylor said suspiciously.
A few seconds later, I heard a door open in the back. Dr. Hamilton appeared in the doorway with a frown and asked, “What’s going on?”
“I think we need a quick group session if you have the time.”
“Is everything okay?” Dr. Hamilton asked.
“It seems that two of your patients had a breakthrough, so I thought I’d share the moment. You’re welcome,” Taylor announced cheerfully.
Dr. Hamilton looked up at the ceiling and sighed before she said, “Come into my office, ladies. Let’s see if we can figure out what Taylor’s done to your psyches.”
“I didn’t do anything!” Taylor argued as she stood up and walked around her desk. “Why am I the one in trouble?”
“I have to have someone to blame. You’re the one smiling, so I picked you.”
Taylor shrugged before she said, “That makes sense.”
Dr. Hamilton sniffed and said, “Of course it does.”