Chapter 12
Twelve
Castiel
I pushed myself off the ledge and spiraled in the air above the lane. Few humans thought to look up, so I had a nearly private view of Lilith as she hurried to the edge of the neighborhood, toward the main road that connected with the rest of Lownden City.
At a gas lamppost she paused and glanced up.
The sight of her pale face in the growing dusk hit me like a boulder to my chest. My body reacted, my heart kicking up speed, my vision narrowing on her, my senses tingling, and my cock hardening.
If she is my mate…what do I do? Should I even tell her?
The kiss yesterday haunted my dreams. It had been the best kiss of my life, which frightened me.
This was supposed to be a flirtation. It would be like ripping my heart out of my chest to fly away from a mate bond, but she didn’t seem to be interested in anything beyond that kiss.
This was her home, and the cult made my skin crawl.
“You have an odd look on your face,” she teased, breaking my melancholic thoughts.
I grinned, banishing my angst. Worrying never solved a problem. I didn’t want to spend energy dwelling on the issue when it wasn’t something I needed to address yet. “I’m admiring you.”
She flushed, and then she had an odd look on her face. “Passably pretty,” she muttered under her breath, not realizing I could hear her.
Most of the women I’d been intimate with—and plenty of the men and the alton, too—preened when called beautiful. But Lilith was all prickles, like a cirra cloud with jagged edges. I didn’t know what to make of that.
“I brought you a cloak.” Lilith gestured upward, holding a bulky cloth in her hands. “It was Absalom’s. He is—was—a large man, so perhaps it will cover your wings.”
“Thank you.” I drifted lower, holding in place so I was a few feet above the cobblestone lane. She held it up to me, and I folded it under one arm. My wings beat in quick, shallow bursts to keep me steady but also keep my wingtips out of the muck of the street. “Are you ready?”
Her eyes sparkled and she nodded. “This is exciting, isn’t it?”
I couldn’t hold back my smile. “Let’s get moving before someone misses you.” My wings pushed down against the air, my primary feathers nearly brushing the ground, and lifted me above the roofline. High enough people wouldn’t see me easily, low enough to be near Lilith.
Her sweet scent drifted up to me, and my mouth watered.
Focus, I told myself. Book, not woman.
It took nearly an hour to get through the streets and to a wealthy neighborhood with white townhouses five stories tall.
Even though night was falling, the streets were still crowded.
Lownden was a busy city. Several times I nearly swooped down and scooped Lilith into my arms to get away from the bustle of the crowd and speed our process.
But I didn’t. I wouldn’t take her in my arms again until she trusted me to do so. It galled me that I had frightened her the first time, and shame burned hot in my chest, tucked below my heart, that I would treat my mate so roughly.
At the time I’d thought she might be an enemy, but that didn’t excuse it. If I could go back…
Finally we reached a large white townhouse on a square. Lilith glanced up at me, and I nodded reassuringly as I drifted to the ground. The sun dipped below the roofs of buildings around us.
She glanced at my feet. “You have no shoes.”
I shrugged. “Left them behind at Mirkwold village. I didn’t realize I’d be here long enough to need them.”
“I’ll see if I can find some,” she promised.
Touched, I had the urge to stroke the back of my fingers down her cheek and embrace her with my wings. Instead I put my hands on my hips, cleared my throat, and nodded at the house. “Fallon’s home?”
Lilith nodded. “Put your cloak on.”
I gave her a look just to show I didn’t like being told what to do, then wrapped the cloak around my shoulders and crest of my wings.
Lilith fussed around me, straightening the cloak and smoothing out the wrinkles so it covered me as best it could.
It was mundane and domestic and absolutely heavenly.
Eventually she stepped backward with a sigh. “I suppose that will have to do.”
I struck a dashing pose. “How do I look?”
Lilith snorted, then giggled. “So vain, Seraph, so vain.” But the look in her eyes was admiring. My blood heated as she raked me with her gaze.
She took the lead, walking around the edge of the house to what she called the servants’ entrance, and knocked.
I stayed back in the shadows, close enough to protect her but not so near it would alarm any servants.
The cloak stretched tight against my wings, rubbing against my feathers and making me itchy and uncomfortable.
The first servant was a tall young man. He eyed Lilith, clearly wondering what she was doing here at nightfall. “May I help you?”
“Yes.” She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes. “I am here on behalf of the elders of the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints. May we speak with Lord Fallon?”
The man’s jaw dropped and his eyes turned glassy in the face of Lilith’s beauty. “I, um, I’m not supposed to let anyone in. I…” He rubbed the back of his neck, oblivious to the way my hands had fisted at my sides.
Lilith doesn’t like gawking. Stop looking at her! But I held my tongue, even though a possessive jealousy swept over me, making my heart pound.
“I can get the butler?” he finished with a weak smile, hating to disappoint her.
“Very well. I’ll wait here.”
When the door had shut and the servant gone to get the butler, Lilith glanced back at me with a wry smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to get what you need. Then you can leave.”
My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I needed more time.
How do you tell someone they’re your mate? I ground my teeth. I’d never imagined a conversation like that. I thought if I had a mate, that seraph would recognize me at the same time. No explanations necessary.
Please, skies and stars, give me more time.
Lilith was still staring at me, waiting. Oh. I hadn’t answered her.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you, Lilith. I will not forget all your help. You’ve done us a great service.”
Her eyes dulled. She looked down and scuffed her boots. “I’m glad I could help.”
My heart lurched at the dejected tone. I need to tell her. I can’t have her unhappy when there’s so much more to us than she knows. “Lily.” I stepped forward and opened my mouth, though I had no idea what was about to come out.
She glanced up at me. “Yes?” Her voice was a whisper, and it made the hair on my arms and the tertiary feathers lining my shoulderblades stand up on end.
“Lily, my cirra, I need to tell you—”
The door opened, spilling a line of bright, golden candlelight across her body.
A man of medium height and portly belly stood before her, looking down a rather large nose. “If you have a message for Lord Fallon, I will pass it along.”
Lilith stepped forward. “I’m from the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints. I was sent here to see if I could show our visitor the library collection.”
The butler sniffed. “Visitors are not allowed without invitation. Especially to see his special collection.”
I growled low in the back of my throat.
“It’s important,” Lilith insisted. “This is a Herald.” She gestured at me, still half-hidden in the shadows. “He wishes to inspect—”
I cleared my throat, cutting her off. I didn’t want any of this to get back around to the elders.
I couldn’t put Lilith in jeopardy. I’d already learned of the prayer room and flogging from an overeager Elder White.
I didn’t know if it would happen to Lilith if the elders found out she’d been helping me under their noses, but I wasn’t willing to find out. “Pass a message along, will you?”
The butler’s face jerked toward me, his eyes narrowing. “You’re a…Herald?”
“Yes, straight from Lord Erlik,” Lilith insisted. “Tell Lord Fallon we will be available any time tomorrow to view his collection. He doesn’t have to be there. The Herald is happy to bestow a blessing on all humans who assist him.”
The butler thought it over for a second, then nodded. “If he allows it, I will send a note to the elders tomorrow.”
Lilith’s shoulders sagged with relief, and it touched me that she cared so much. Or she wants you gone, a voice in the back of my mind taunted. “Thank you. We’ll be waiting for the note.”
The butler shut the door a little too fast for my taste.
Lilith turned around and sighed. Shadows flitted across her face. “I’m sorry, Castiel. This whole experience must be so frustrating for you.”
No, it isn’t.
I stilled, struck by the realization. Not a piece of this was frustrating.
Well, any interaction with the elders was horrible. But most of my time was spent with Lilith.
“Actually,” I said, my wings tightening against my back. “I would do this every day if it meant I spent more time with you.”
Lilith’s cheeks turned rosy and she glanced away. “You’re exaggerating, Castiel. You don’t have to flatter me to get my help. I want to help you.”
I stepped forward, setting my hands on her shoulders. “You have a very strange and contradictory sense of your worth and what draws people to you.”
Lilith opened her mouth to argue, revealing that pink tongue and those white teeth, and I couldn’t hold back. I dipped my head and kissed her, reveling in the warmth of her soft, plush lips.
“Mmmph,” she got out, and her body went lax and soft. She leaned into me, and my cock immediately noticed her lush curves and breasts pressed against the hard planes of my body. The stupid cloak was difficult to maneuver in, or I would pull her closer and wrap her legs around my hips.
Lilith broke the kiss, a dazed look in her eyes, her cheeks flushed and her breathing unsteady. “What was that for?”
“Because I wanted to,” I said simply. What other reason was there?
“Not…not because you like the way I look? Or because I’m here helping you?”