Chapter 21
Twenty-One
Lilith
“Lilith, come here!” Elder Nelson barked.
Startled by the harsh tone, I looked up at him.
He leaned on his cane, peering down at me. “Lilith, he is not a Herald.”
It was so unexpected I could only blink.
He nodded sadly, though his eyes threatened violence. “Did you know, my dear? Were you hiding the enemy’s lies from us?”
What enemy? I shook my head.
He looked over my head to the young men. “We should not assume the bar on his door will hold him. Take him away.”
I turned, my knees tangled in my skirts. I tried to push myself off my hands and knees, but the elder’s cane suddenly appeared, blocking my path.
I watched, horrorstruck, as the young men struggled to grab Castiel, still vomiting and abdomen surging, and drag him away. “Where are you taking him?” I demanded.
“Fret not, Lilith.” The condescension dripping from his words curdled my blood. “It shan’t kill him. Saltwater might be poisonous to his kind—whatever his kind is—but I saw them walk away from a fall that was hundreds of feet.”
I had to do something. I took a few breaths, regaining control of myself and struggling to put my thoughts back in order.
“I don’t understand.” I pushed myself to my feet. “Please, what makes you think he’s an enemy?” I had worn a blank expression for so many years it came like second nature.
His ego didn’t let him consider the possibility I was hiding my true reactions.
“If we learn you have been hiding this information from us, you will be severely punished,” he warned.
“You may be but a woman, one who does not study the precepts, or notice the discrepancies and missteps this…this… creature committed. But that means women need a firmer, guiding hand, hm?”
I stared, barely hearing him as I tried to make sense of what was happening.
“He’s not a Herald of our god Erlik. And will be dealt with accordingly. That is all you need to know for now. Go home, Lilith. We will question you later.”
Something in me snapped, and in a rage I did something incredibly stupid. I fought back. For the first time in a decade, I didn’t smile and tell him he was wise.
“No!” I ran. “This is wrong! Erlik surely didn’t tell you to do this.”
His face changed, going from indulgent shepherd of souls to furious tyrant. “Lilith!” His voice cracked like a whip. “You forget yourself.”
Heedless of his final warning, I raced through the door and back into Castiel’s room. Drops of blood splattered the ground, mixed with a few frayed feathers, giving me a trail to follow.
“Get back here!” Elder Nelson’s voice echoed behind me, faint with distance and age.
For a heartbeat my heart filled with savage glee. Was it this easy to defy them? Why had I let myself believe these men held the power of life and death over us? I was younger, faster, perhaps stronger than every single one of the elders, especially now Absalom was gone.
I charged into the corridor and saw the tip of Castiel’s wings around a corner. “Stop!” I yelled. Speeding around the corner, I grabbed Castiel’s foot.
Three men hefted Castiel’s weight, fighting to maneuver him through the narrow hall. He writhed, pushing against them, but his normally brown face was pale and he wasn’t making any progress.
I wrapped my hands around his ankle and tugged. “You can’t have him!”
“Lily,” Castiel gasped, his eyes bloodshot from he retching. “Go, Lily.”
“Not without you,” I grunted, bracing my feet and leaning backward.
“Lilith!” a familiar voice snapped.
I glanced up and realized the third man was Elder Tomes. Rage flickered, licking up the sides of my face. Him. Of course he was a part of it. He’d been at Mirkwold, at the beginning.
He glared at me. “This is hardly becoming behavior! Stop this rebellious spirit or there will be consequences.”
I didn’t care. I feared nothing more than losing Castiel. Baring my teeth at the elder, I said, “I won’t believe your lies anymore. You’re serving yourself, not the congregation.”
His face went white with rage, even as he forcibly bent one of Castiel’s wings and pinned it against a wall.
Castiel went gray.
“Stop hurting him!” I shrieked, helpless with rage.
“That’s enough of that.” Elder Nelson’s voice rose about the commotion, much closer to me than I expected.
Hands grabbed me and jerked me back.
I lost my balance, and my fingers slipped from Castiel’s foot. I spun, scrabbling at the hands. “Let me go!” My hair tangled around my face. I couldn’t see who was holding me.
“What do you want to do with her?” one of the men asked, voice tight with effort as I kicked and twisted.
“Prayer closet,” Elder Nelson decided. “Back of the church to the right.”
I shoved my hair out of my face, and his eyes pinned me with their malevolence. My veins froze with fear.
“Whatever rebellious spirit has found a way into her heart must be cast out.”
“No!” Anything but the prayer closet. I couldn’t help Castiel if I was locked in there.
Pleasure filled Elder Nelson’s eyes though his mouth remained in a firm, frowning line appropriate for a spiritual leader. “You must learn to submit, Lilith, to the will of Erlik. Three days of prayer and fasting should bring you back to the holy path.”
Three days?
“Please!” I tried to drop to my knees. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
You’re right. I listened to the lies of the false Herald.
I believed his untrue words and I let pride creep into my heart.
I repent of the pride. I remember now. You speak with the voice of Erlik, and I will listen to you.
Please, not the prayer closet.” Fighting never worked—why had I let my panic override my common sense?
I could not fight.
I could not flee.
It was too late to not be involved.
And I’d ruined my last chance of pleasing him.
“When you have rediscovered your gentle and quiet spirit you may resume your duties serving us.” He frowned. “We will also look into finding you a husband. This willfulness has grown because you’ve been without a leader and protector.”
The man dragged me away.
“Please!” I wept, my knees and legs banging to the floor and corners of walls. “I’ll be good. I believe the elder. I was confused for a moment, but I believe him, I do.” I scrabbled to grab hold of anything, but all I succeeded in was the stabbing pain of splinters.
My pleas rolled off him like water. When he arrived at the narrow wooden door I was too exhausted to fight any longer. I panted, skirts tangled and stockings torn.
He held my wrists with one hand as I slumped at his feet, gasping for breath, his other hand unlocking the closet.
Then I was tossed inside.
I hit the ground, biting my tongue so hard blood pooled in my mouth from my knees hitting the wooden floor. Before I could whirl and break for the exit the door slammed in my face.
Metal jangled and clinked, the telltale sounds of all four locks sliding into place. Fear made me gasp for air even as despair settled in my gut like a millstone.
I shut my eyes, clutching my head. Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic. Breathe like Jo showed you.
My sister had been punished with a night in the closet several times, and they had taught me how to breathe evenly, to calm my emotions after an unjust argument with our parents. I thought back to their voice, listening to the echoes from the past.
Slowly, slowly, my heartbeat returned to normal. My mind twisted and turned, trying to make sense of what had happened.
What was the elder’s plan? Were all the elders in on it? I fumed, fear and anger twining around my heart. How could I have been so blind? It was my fault the elders knew about his weakness regarding saltwater.
“Fuck!” I spit the word into the stale air, not caring for once who heard me. I bowed my head, gripping my hair with my hands, trying to think of a plan.
Surely Elder Nelson was correct—drinking saltwater wouldn’t kill Castiel. He was a seraph. He was stronger, faster, his senses were better. He had ayim to heal him. He should be able to break free of them as soon as the ayim was finished healing his stomach and throat.
I pushed myself to my feet, opening my eyes to total blackness. Stretching my hands out, I mapped the shape of the prayer closet. It felt smaller since I’d last been in here. That one time as a youth was more than enough to cure me of ever fighting back again.
Yet here I was.
The room was truly a closet—perhaps six feet by six feet. From what I remembered, a waste bucket sat in one corner of the room and a stool in the other. The stool held two books and a gas lamp. There was no blanket, no window, no pillow, nothing to provide comfort.
With shaking hands I groped in the dark until I found the lamp and the striker. Carefully I lit the wick, then replaced the glass cover. My stomachache eased as light filled the tiny room.
I glanced down at the books. One was a worn copy of Erlik’s precepts, and the other was a collection of Prayers for the Wayward Heart by one of the Grimshaws. My lip curled in disgust and I dropped them on the dusty floor.
No way of escape, no food for three days. I sighed, trying to think.
I have to save him.
The thought of me saving Castiel was laughable. Especially now I was locked away. The elders would tell my mother where I was, but she wouldn’t even think to ask them for mercy on my behalf. The elders did what the elders did, and the rest of us submitted.
I hoped Castiel would break free any minute. I didn’t know what I could do, but I had to try.
Blood seeped from under my broken fingernails.
I winced, putting them to my mouth to soothe the pain.
My back and shoulders ached, and I’d have bruises there by morning.
Pacing back and forth, I tried to consider what they would do to him.
Why they were doing this. Or—what if he already had freed himself and flew away without me?
Fear struck my heart at the thought. I examined the door: the crack, the hinges, the knob, the locks. It was impenetrable.