Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Lilith
I ripped the last stitch with my teeth. Finally. I tore the seam open and pulled the slim piece of whalebone out of my corset. It was cream and made from whale baleen, bending easily without snapping.
Pressing my shoulder against the wall, I angled the end of the whalebone, about the width of my finger and as long as my forearm, into the crack between the door and the jam.
I’d already spent enough time trying to wriggle out through the hinged food pass.
My breasts were far too large—I was never going to get through.
So now here I was, trying the very last thing I could think of. There were four locks on this door. But if I could perhaps, by some miracle, slide the whalebone in the crack and dislodge at least one of the locks…that was progress.
A door slammed down the hall.
Surprised, I jumped. The whalebone clattered to the floor.
Heavy footfalls stalked toward me.
Heart in my throat, I backed away from the door. Was it an elder? Was I in even more trouble?
“LILITH!” His voice ripped from his body, harsh and guttural.
Castiel. My stomach dropped with relief so quickly I thought I might retch.
“LILITH, where are you?” He sounded ready to murder someone.
My heart took wing. “Castiel!” I shouted, banging on the door. “Castiel, I’m in here! Castiel, are you well?”
“Lilith?” His feet halted outside the door.
“Yes, yes, I’m right here!” Tears burned my eyes. “Gods, I’ve been so worried about you.” My hands shook as they rested against the door.
“Back away from the door, cirra. I’m breaking it down.”
I obeyed, scrambling as far away as I could.
“Ready?”
“Yes!”
He slammed into the door with a grunt. The door creaked.
“Mrs. Dalton has the keys,” I began, but he pounded the door again.
Something snapped. A sliver of wood shot away from the doorjam. I ducked, shielding my face with my hands.
Castiel breathed heavily. “Last one,” he warned.
The door burst open, hinges popping and wood flying. It fell on the ground, and I jumped on the stool in time to keep my toes uncrushed. My hand flew up to shield my face.
He stood in the doorway, chest heaving, wings slack behind him. “There you are. I’ve got you now.”
Joy bubbled inside me even while the light blinded me. I threw myself at him, arms outstretched. I struck his chest, promising myself I’d never let go of him. “Castiel,” I sobbed.
He grunted, toppling backward. Catching himself on the door frame just before he lost his balance, Castiel wrapped his other arm around me, keeping me close to him. “Lily.”
My cheek rasped against rough skin, so unlike how he normally felt. Confused, I pulled away to look at him.
My eyes adjusted, and shock rippled through me. He looked awful. One eye was bloodshot, the other fogged over. His face, arms, and chest were covered in rough, scaly, reddened skin. Other patches were shiny pink over his normally brown skin.
And his wings. They dragged on the ground, half the feathers gone. The half remaining were frayed and ragged, and the pink skin showing between the gaps looked irritated and inflamed.
I gasped in horror, my hand flying to my mouth. “What did they do to you?” Helpless rage balled into a scream in my throat. Tears scalded my cheeks. “How dare they.”
“Hush, cirra, hush.” He crushed me in his arms, heedless of his own pain, burying his face in my hair. “You’re alive. You’re unharmed. That’s all that matters.”
“Let me go,” I cried. “You’re hurt badly already. I don’t want to burn you more.”
“Let your tears burn me,” he murmured, voice savage. “I suffer them gladly. I need you here, with me.”
“You have me.” I pushed against him, trying to put space between my emotions and his scarred flesh. “Gods beyond, Castiel, how badly does it hurt? Does human medicine work on you?”
He chuckled—how, I don’t know, because he looked close to death in my eyes—and let me loose. Stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers, his eyes were soft and tender, a stark contrast to the violence his body held.
“I’ll kill the elders for this.” My eyes tracked over his marred flesh.
“I already did.”
My eyes widened and I stared at his face. “You did?”
He nodded. “They deserved to die for everything they did.”
I was reminded once again this seraph was a warrior, a man whose hands were used to wielding weapons and meting out justice.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into all this.” It was all my fault.
I should’ve kept my distance. Or gotten him the book sooner.
Warned him about the elders, even though I never thought they’d go this far.
But Castiel shook his head. “I’m not sorry. I found my mate, and that is everything.” He filled the word with such reverence it made me flush.
I traced the worst of the scars across his chest, a hair’s breadth away from his skin. “What can I do?”
“It will heal in time,” he said. “Remember the ayim I told you about? It has healing abilities. I need to find the sun and then it will heal.”
“How fast?” I demanded, guilt making me sick. If it wasn’t for me….
A choke caught our attention. We turned to see the other footman standing in the doorway, mouth open.
Castiel growled, making even the hair on my neck stand up in alarm. Violence hummed in the air. “You have two seconds to get out before I kill you, too.”
The man bolted. Part of me wondered why he was still here. But the more pressing worries about Castiel took over.
“We need to get you outside right now.” I twined my fingers in Castiel’s and tugged him toward the exit at the other end of the hall. The belltower, I thought, would be best.
Soon we stood outside at the back of the church, staring up at the tower.
Castiel stood straighter, seemed larger, already. I glanced at his wings. They were mostly intact, but there surely weren’t enough feathers to support both of us in the air. My hawk was struggling.
“I’ll go up the stairs,” I decided. But when I tried to walk away, his fingers tightened around mine.
I glanced back at him.
“You’ll meet me up there?” His face was so vulnerable, so raw, that my heart tried to beat right out of my ribcage.
I forced a smile. I couldn’t keep crying like a watering pot. “I’ll beat you there,” I promised, slipping my hand from his.
In the end, he got there first. He had to help open the trapdoor.
“I’m sorry,” I gasped as the door opened and sunlight shone in my face.
“What are you apologizing for?” Castiel reached a hand down to help me up.
“You shouldn’t be doing anything except healing right now.” I relished the feeling of his strong hand around mine, letting him draw me up beside him. As we sat beside the bell I ran my eyes over him.
His eye already seemed healed, his voice much smoother.
“If we complete the mate bond,” I blurted, “would that make you heal faster?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Likely not,” he admitted. “If you were another seraph, if you had your own ayim, then I would heal faster because I’d have your strength running through my veins, too. But—”
“But I’m human.” I slumped, sighing heavily. “I’m so sorry you’re stuck with me as your mate.”
Gentle fingers touched my chin, turning my face until I met his gaze. “Lilith, why would you say something like that?” His brown eyes were filled with such love it made me ache with longing.
“You deserve so much better than me.” All that love and kindness, all his protective and loyal traits—how I wished I had the strength to accept it earlier.
Understanding dawned across his face. He dipped his head, and I could see his flesh healing before my eyes. “Lilith, you are everything I would’ve hoped for in a mate, if I ever thought I’d be lucky enough to find mine. I love you.”
I sniffed. “It’s not just the mate bond thing making you do that?”
He shook his head. “Seraphim can refuse the bond. The consequences are unpleasant. But love and mating are two separate things. They are stronger together—everyone expects to find both in the same pairing—but I know even if you weren’t my mate I’d still want to make myself yours.”
“Castiel.” I took a breath, preparing to be brave. “I love you.” The words slipped out and I couldn’t take them back now. But I could trust Castiel with my love.
Awe filled his face. “You do?”
I nodded. “I was too frightened to admit it. When you told me I was your mate, the first thing I thought of was how it could go wrong—how you’d eventually resent being trapped by my side.”
He nodded in understanding. “I won’t be like your family. I know it’s easy for me to say and harder for you to believe, but—”
I kissed him, stopping his words. “I do believe you. This past day, locked in the prayer closet and hoping you were alive…I’m not going to let fear stop me.”
Castiel stroked a strand of hair from my face, his eyes so tender it made me feel safe and wanted in his arms. “You have a heart of courage, and I cannot believe I get to witness you grow into it.” He kissed me, and it tasted like blood and sweat and above all, love.
I opened myself to his kiss, welcoming his tongue as it swiped inside.
Our passion melded together, growing within us as we shared ourselves with one another.
The longer I kissed him, the sweeter he tasted.
And when he put his hand on my breast, it felt like a brand.
I was his.
He was mine.
He ran a hand down my arm, and my skin celebrated the sensation. His touch reverberated through my body. I gasped, leaning into his kiss.
His fingertips caressed my inner wrist, then swept down my palm to squeeze my fingers. He brought them to his lips to kiss, but paused and frowned.
“Lilith, what happened?” He turned my hand this way and that, looking at the fingernails torn past the quick, the scabs, and the dried blood caked in the creases.
“I was trying to get out.” I kissed up his jaw and flicked my tongue in his ear.
He nudged away from me, intent on the damaged fingers. “Let me heal you.”