Chapter 27
Liz was careful not to hit her shoulder with the curling iron. She had an hour and a half until the engagement party, and like with most special occasions, she’d decided to do her own hair and makeup. In the runway shows of her collegiate fashion days, she always did the glam for her models, styled to match her handcrafted designs.
Her engagement party would be no different, though her hand certainly shook more with nerves today than it ever had when displaying her design capsules. Given the oceanic backdrop for tonight, she opted for loose, beachy curls. She’d found some small shells on the way back from the Jet Ski outing, and she braided a few into her hair. It felt earthy and grounded, like a promise to the beach forces: please, please, please let this go right.
She’d barely seen Cam all morning. At first, Liz was worried that he might wake up and cancel the entire party after yesterday’s fight. But his alarm went off early, and he was soon up and racing to check his family’s rental, to make sure everything was smooth before his parents and grandma arrived. The party was happening, and Liz wouldn’t be the one to object.
Cam needed to spend the rest of the day running around, he said, getting everything set up at the venue, helping his grandma iron her dress. Every time Liz texted, asking if she should be there, if she could lend a hand, Cam told her to enjoy the day. It was the last Saturday in Ocean Beach. Why should they both lose out on the final beach day because his family insisted on a party?
Liz bit her lip. It was rational, but Cam’s behavior still felt suspicious. Was he avoiding her because he didn’t want to crush her Domus dreams in front of their closest friends and family?
Looking in the mirror, Liz focused on applying her makeup in a natural style. A lip gloss that glittered in the light, a greenish eyeshadow that made her brown eyes pop. That would match nicely with Cam’s green suit. It was meant to be an ode to their prom outfits, all grown up.
Only this time, Liz wouldn’t be wearing green.
Instead, she carefully pulled a white dress out of the closet, slipping it from its garment bag like a knight taking off his shield.
It had been one of Roseanne’s suggestions. In the week following the wedding dress shopping debacle, Roseanne had emailed Liz late one night, or actually early one morning, with hyperlinked articles listing different ways to honor a deceased loved one on a wedding day. Their initials could be sewn into the fabric of a dress or a suit pocket. A piece of their jewelry could be wrapped around the ends of a bouquet.
Their own wedding dress fabric could be incorporated into the bride’s day-of ensemble. Her engagement party ensemble, too.
Liz had gasped when she read it. First, from the sheer shock of her future mother-in-law emailing at three a.m. But mostly because Liz couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought of it herself. Her mother’s dress. Her gorgeous mother’s gorgeous dress. Safely tucked in storage. Of course, she realized.
Ever since her mom had passed away, Liz had felt her creativity siphoning off. The colors had faded and left her one-dimensional and dry. Black and white and sad all over. But just because things felt broken, didn’t mean they had to stay that way. She could remember her mom while repaving her way.
Like most artists, Liz sometimes struggled to feel genuinely proud of her creations. Impostor syndrome a too-tempting headspace. Yet as she stepped into her engagement party dress now, a redesigned version of her mother’s gown, she had no qualifiers or caveats.
She had nailed it. The dress was perfect.
A knock at the door made her jump. Was it Cam? What would he say?
“It’s just me!” Maggie’s voice called.
Liz eased. “It’s open.”
“Just wanted to wish you luck before I go set up,” Maggie said as she walked in. “Holy shit! You look like a mermaid—no, a princess. A mermaid princess.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Of course. I love it. And oh my god.” Maggie paused as she admired Liz’s dress. “Did you make this?”
Liz nodded. “From my mom’s.”
“Are you kidding? I literally just put mascara on. Please don’t make me cry. Nope, I’m crying.”
“I think she’d like it. It’s so different from hers, but still sort of the same.”
“It’s incredible. She would be so proud of you, Liz. She is so proud, I know it.”
Liz looked at Maggie and smiled. “I know, too. Finally, I know.”
Liz found herself daydreaming in hypotheticals these days, thought experiments brought on by What would my mother do? What would my mother say? Her mom had been unpredictable and spontaneous, but she was consistent when it came to being kind. She was always forgiving. She believed in making room for everyone, despite their mistakes.
Nancy had known that Maggie had moved to LA, that the girls had lost touch the way so many childhood friends do in college, after college. But if she had known that Maggie had since returned and Liz wasn’t letting her in with open arms, that she wasn’t the one to be kind, to forgive—that would have broken Nancy’s heart the most.
Liz was grateful she didn’t have to worry about that anymore. Maggie was back.
And three seconds later, Quinn and Brenna were there, too. They hadn’t even bothered to knock, barging in with a bottle of champagne and pleas for Liz to curl their hair, quickly, if she had time, before they were all due to head to the party. In exchange for zipping up the back of Liz’s dress, she sat each of her friends down and shaped their hair.
It was something out of a Louisa May Alcott novel. Something Liz imagined all mornings would have looked like with sisters running around in her house. Shared bathrooms, shared clothes. Shared laughter and dreams. When it was half past five, Brenna, Quinn, and Maggie heaped side hugs onto Liz (her dress was one thing, but her hair had to stay perfect), and departed for the venue.
In the momentary quiet, Liz heard a tap on the window. Followed by another tap.
Peering through the pane, she saw Cam down below in his green suit with a handful of pebbles.
She searched his face as their eyes met across the distance. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. Some love requires hyperbole. A love that can move mountains, or a love that can fling you to the moon, to orbit Earth and never come down.
Liz and Cam’s love was plain and simple. It was unwavering. It was true.
How could she survive if he changed his mind?
She tried to control the pace of her pulse, the beating of her heart, as she walked downstairs to meet him. She was nervous and scared but also so deeply in love, she would have run right into the ocean if he’d asked her.
Instead, he picked her up and lifted her straight toward the sky. The best part of dating your high school sweetheart was the ability to drop into any memory, any emotion, at any moment, together. Right now, it felt like they were seventeen again, hearts unabashedly on fire.
“You look amazing. You are amazing,” Cam whispered, breathless.
“I missed you today,” Liz said into his cheek. He smelled clean and fresh.
“I missed you, too. I love you, Lizard,” he said, after taking a step back to really look at her. “I love your dress. I love your hair. I love your brain and your patience and your kindness and your laugh.”
“I love you more.”
“And I love your talent. This dress! I love your smile. I love your hands.” He pulled her close now, her fingers held in his own.
But then, Cam was kneeling. Kneeling on the ground.
“Hold on. What’s going on?” Liz’s heart skipped a thousand beats.
He put his hand up. “Let me say this, before I forget. I’ve been practicing it for hours.”
Suddenly, he pulled a new ring-size box out of his pocket.
Was this what he’d been keeping from her all day?
She didn’t have time to think or to process or to worry. She could only listen as Cam cleared his throat and started to speak.
“Liz, this past year has been remarkably hard. This summer hasn’t been much easier. Life is, well, it’s changing fast, and I lost sight of what to do. But I know that I never want a future that doesn’t have you in it. You inspire me every day, Liz. You make me think bolder, live bigger. I used to think we worked so well because we were always the same, but I realized this weekend, that’s not it. Not quite. Some parts of us are the same, sure, but we’re perfect because of how we’ve managed to change so perfectly together. How we’ve grown and ebbed and flowed in a lockstep of our own. And Liz, I never want to not be growing with you.”
“Me either,” she said, eyes wet.
“So, if that means you spend a year studying in Italy, then andrai a studiare Italia. I think I memorized that correctly but I’m not sure. The point is: I’m so sorry for how I reacted yesterday. How shaky this whole summer has been, with planning stress and my mom and all of our missteps. But more than anything, I hate that we lost focus on us, on how good we are together. So, I know we’re technically already engaged and everything, but I think we could both use a fresh start. Let’s do a redo. Will you agree to marry me? Again?”
Cam opened the box and Liz saw the most perfect ring. It was a rose gold band, with interlocking leaves and small diamonds throughout. It was exactly what Liz would have designed herself. Something beautiful yet simple at first, stunning when she had a chance to study it, when she saw it for what it was. Just like Liz and Cam.
The two of them had been through hell and back. Relationships are easy when everyone is happy, they learned. It’s not hard to get along when loved ones are healthy, when jobs are fulfilling, when paychecks reliably come through. It’s when life falters that relationships turn real. Turn true. Together, Cam and Liz had learned what couldn’t be taken for granted. They wouldn’t waste their time fighting, only forging ahead. The answer was obvious.
“Yes, Cam. A thousand times yes,” Liz said, breathless, pulling him up and into her arms, kissing him square on the lips. “I’m so sorry, for everything. I should never have kept the program from you. I haven’t been acting like myself this summer. I just know I love you, I can’t wait to marry you. I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too, babe. Me, too.” He kissed her hair.
Liz thanked every star above for planting the most patient, generous, loyal human right around the corner from where she’d grown up. She knew it again in that moment. How lucky she was, to never know a life without Cam.
“No more lies, I promise,” she whispered.
“I promise, too.”
She would hold tight and never let him go.
“I have one more thing to ask you, then,” he said, his eyes suddenly picking up a mischievous dance. “Mac? Think we better get this show on the road.”
“I believe it’s technically a wagon, not a show.” Mac suddenly appeared, calling out from down the street. “Sorry, I wasn’t eavesdropping. Not the whole time. Beautiful stuff, guys.”
Liz and Cam both laughed, blushing. “What’s the wagon for?” Liz asked.
“We weren’t sure if you had on a fancy long dress or something that you wouldn’t want to walk in,” Cam explained.
“The towels?”
“In case of dirt?”
“That’s so complicated and confusing and so thoughtful. I love it. I love you both.”
Mac beamed. “You guys are seriously so perfect for each other,” he said. “But you are also both so perfect for me. It hasn’t been easy, these past few years. But I’m finding my place. I haven’t missed PT in a month. Last week I signed up to coach an intramural soccer league at work. And that’s because of you guys. You inspire me to be better. You’re the greatest siblings a guy could have.”
“Mac, we just want you to be happy. Always,” Liz said as she squeezed his shoulder.
“I’m sorry if I ever made it feel like I wasn’t grateful for your help, or appreciative of your advice.”
“You couldn’t make us think that even if you tried,” Liz said.
“Love you, brother,” said Cam.
“Love you, too. Both of you,” Mac said. “Now, Cam. Ready to tell her your big plan? The real reason I’m standing here like some sort of proposal stalker?”
Cam’s eyes glistened as he flashed Liz the biggest grin she’d seen on his face all summer. “I think I have the perfect idea.”