Chapter 6
I blinked wildly, feeling an intense desire to confess the one day I tried to forget. How was this man able to draw me out so quickly? The more I let him in, the more connected I felt.
On every level, this was much easier than I thought it would be. The day we’d spent together had been everything. I hadn’t tasted that level of freedom in years. And now, here I sat in the teahouse with him, feeling beautiful and so damn normal.
My mind drifted. Each of us girls had something horrific that happened during our captivity. Mischa’s would be the day she was buried alive and the other time when she was gagged and whipped. Autumn’s would be that fateful day when she was subjected to her favorite fan’s desire to brand her.
Winter’s had to do with large dogs. I’d overheard her being taunted by the Mask on several occasions, and he frequently brought his dogs to visit her, locking her in with them. I shuddered violently, knowing the evil he was capable of. And mine…mine was drowning in the lake beside the castle.
“Maybe a little, but it’s only because I almost drowned, too. I have a major fear of large bodies of water,” I said.
Immediately, his arms went around me, and a small sob escaped my lips.
“Shhh, it’s okay, trust me, I understand. The thing is, whatever your experience was, it didn’t end there. Neither did mine. We were the lucky ones.”
He rubbed my back as I laid my head on his shoulder. Inhaling him up close had a soothing effect on my jumbled nerves.
“I’m sorry. I think I’ve ruined the date already. I’m pretty sure one of the rules I read earlier was not to get emotional,” I said, pulling back, feeling foolish.
“We’ll let it slide this time, especially since I’m the one who started it. It looks like they’re getting ready to begin,” he teased and held my hand.
The warmth of it and the moment we’d shared lingered. My breath hitched as a hush settled over the room. The emcee took the stage, tapped the microphone, and offered a welcoming smile. Person after person went up and bared their hearts and souls.
I lost myself in the creativity that flowed from the stage. I was so inspired by the bravery and felt a tear fall after the last person spoke about the heartache of losing someone they loved. The look in Andrew’s eyes when they met mine told me he’d felt it, too.
“That’s all the scheduled poems for this evening. We’re opening the room to anyone else brave enough to share. Any takers?” The emcee announced.
“How about it, Victoria?” Andrew looked over, his blue eyes sparkling.
Somehow, they made me feel brave. I gulped, thinking about my mother and gran, how much they would have enjoyed something like this. The poetry pieces tucked away in my journals back home were ones I had memorized. I thought about how I’d never have this opportunity again. Could I?
“You don’t even have to come up. I’ll bring the microphone to you,” the emcee said, walking toward us.
Heads turned our way, and I looked over at Andrew. He studied me. The chatter and clicking sounds of cups and glasses sounded all around me, making it hard to concentrate.
My palms grew sweaty, and my heart raced. I closed my eyes and imagined a tiny dancing mouse. She’d been so brave the night of the rescue. It wasn’t like she had a choice to dance, not really, but despite the pain, she gave it her all.
Maybe in her honor, I could do something similar. Shakily, I took the microphone from the man, nodded, and stood. Clearing my throat, I dug deep to find an inner strength I didn’t know I possessed.
Seasons come, and seasons go,
weaving the fabric of time.
And no matter their distance,
they’re forever intertwined.
Hidden away, a castle sits,
in a faraway land.
Come listen for a spell,
and I’ll try to help you understand.
Four distinct animals sit on an old carousel,
Bound to the turn of a merciless spell.
Spiraling seasons, they rise and they fall,
Trapped in a nightmare with no end to it at all.
Upon the Swan, with a fierce embrace.
Sits a young girl, misunderstood, hiding her face.
On this merry-go-round, she silently cries.
Contemplating last night’s choices,
as more of her dies.
Today I imagine her smiling,
and dancing unashamed.
Living a life completely reclaimed.
She’ll soon give way to none other.
Then to the season we like to call Summer.
Clutching the Seahorse,
with hair the color of wheat.
Wishing that one day they,
all might once again meet.
She clings to the dream, a way to cope.
Is it so wrong to hold out hope?
Tossed in the sea of life,
regretting choices she’s made.
Wishing upon the evening stars,
that it’s all just a charade.
But then, time gives way,
to the season not forgotten.
And with it comes the breeze,
and bright colors of Autumn.
Seated upon the Rabbit,
hair dark as the night.
Sits a young girl,
bathed in the dying light.
Her silence she wears,
like a shroud, secrets so cold.
A carousel of whispers, her story untold.
In my dreams, she is no longer quiet,
but loud and carefree.
Painting pictures for the world to see.
Shadows grow longer, and time slows its pace,
As Autumn gives way,
to Winter’s snowy embrace.
Seated on the fox,
with eyes that shine no more,
Sits the last of us,
completing the carousel’s circle of four.
Her freckled face filled—
with misery and such sorrow.
I want to whisper,
to just hold on until tomorrow.
Today, I hope she’s living her life unrestrained.
Wild and carefree and completely untamed.
You see, seasons come, and seasons go,
Weaving the fabric of time,
And no matter the distance, they’re forever intertwined.
As I finished the final line, my voice broke, an echo of the emotion I was feeling. The microphone seemed to capture the last breath of my words, holding them in an embrace of sorts before releasing them to the crowd. I paused and looked at Andrew.
My heart pounded in my chest as the crowd applauded. A sense of relief washed over me. The emcee approached and took the microphone with a respectful nod, and I took my seat. The nervousness was still there, but there was also a sense of accomplishment and pride.
For you, Mischa.
I sent a silent dedication to the little mouse. Wherever she was, I hoped she was living her best life. Andrew’s eyes met mine with a heat that set me aflame. He pulled me close, his arm draped around me.
The warmth of his touch was electric, and I was hyper-aware of his presence, of the comforting steadiness of his breathing next to me. I nestled into him, memorizing the rise and fall of his chest.
The scent of his cologne, the pressure of his body near mine. I stole a glance at him. The startling desire in his eyes made the moment incredibly intimate.
“I know I shouldn’t, but damn, I need this,” he whispered before slipping his hand into my hair, holding my head in place.
My body shook as fire raced through my blood at his words alone. His lips brushed against mine, soft and sweet. I sighed, relaxing into him and losing myself in the sensation.
The softness of his lips and the way his hand gently pulled at the strands had me shivering. An inexplicable sense of euphoria pulsed as he continued kissing me. And man, could he kiss. It was passionate—powerful. And it consumed me.
All the pent-up emotions I’d held in all these years flowed into this one moment. I traced his cheekbones and the immaculate line of his beard. At my touch, he pulled back. His control slipped for a brief second, and he looked like he wanted to devour me.
With his forehead touching mine, he kissed me chastely once more on the lips. Lost in a sea of sensations, I briefly wondered if I was dreaming. Maybe I was under the bed at the house, stuck in a fantasy. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Then his lips found mine again, and his hands tangled in my hair.
This time he pulled hard, and a growl crawled up his throat as he deepened the kiss.
No, this was real. I moaned into his mouth, surrendering.
Someone cleared their throat, and I wanted to scream because it instantly snapped Andrew from wherever he had been.
“We should probably get back to the hotel,” he said, lowering his eyes to my lips.
“Yes, I think that would be a good idea,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking.
He watched me with those intense, thoughtful eyes. I loved that there was no malice in them. He stood and helped me to my feet, his hand protective as he wrapped an arm around me.
Was it wrong that I felt like we shared a secret? He pressed his hand firmly against the small of my back and guided me from the teahouse.
Outside, the night air was cool and refreshing. A light breeze ruffled my dress. The sound of our footsteps echoed against the sidewalk. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for me and waited until I was safely inside before closing it and walking around to the car.
He slid into the driver’s seat, glancing at me. His expression was tender and reassuring. With a knowing smile, he turned the key in the ignition. The engine’s soft purr filled the space. Moonlight painted his face, and I lowered my gaze.
“You doing okay?” he asked before pulling out into the street.
I nodded, feeling warmth spread through me. “Yes, thank you for tonight.”
“No, thank you. I really enjoyed spending this time with you.”
A part of me wanted more from him, as wrong as it was. It was a foolish desire that would only end in heartbreak. I couldn’t stifle the emotions, no matter how much it would hurt when I walked away. I glanced at him and saw his cheek twitching. My heart sunk.
Did he regret the kiss earlier?
All of my insecurities rose to the surface. I hung my head in shame, feeling dirty. Andrew’s light touch on my knee startled me. My head snapped up. I waited in anticipation to see if he’d do anything else and sighed as he removed his hand from my knee to shift gears.
When it returned, it was markedly higher and much firmer. He grinned slyly as he shifted the material of the dress and slid his fingers upward, brushing against my bare skin. My breathing hitched and then grew shallow as he inched closer.
Don’t do it.
I warned my body not to react like a whore. And in the exact same moment, my thighs spread slightly, and I shifted, giving him access to my body.
What was the harm in indulging? Cameron said I could after all. It was all in the name of the game. I let out a tiny moan as his fingers brushed my pussy through the thin material of my underwear.
“So you opted to wear them, then?” His voice was low and sexy.
“How could I not? They’re so pretty. I’ve never owned anything like them, honestly.”
He looked confused, but continued to tease me. Every one of my nerve endings was in full responsive mode, and his feather-light touch had me wet. Embarrassed by the evidence of my arousal, my face burned.
At least it was dark in the car. He found what I really wanted him to—my clit. He brushed against it through the fabric, all his efforts focused on it. Everything around me faded away.
Andrew increased the pressure, and a small groan tore free. Arousal coated my knickers, and his finger slid easily along my slit. I couldn’t help but roll my hips into him and whimper.
With a growl, his fingers toyed with the pretty bow at the waistband before dipping inside. I held my breath as his long finger slid downward over my clit. He chuckled low. Every hair on my body responded to the sound.
“You’re so fucking wet, angel,” he hissed.
He parted my lips with zero effort, causing me to shudder. I whined with pleasure as he slipped easily inside. My pussy opened eagerly to his expert touch, and that euphoric sensation soared once more through me.
He added another to the mix, and my pussy swallowed the long, thick fingers. My head fell to the side. I watched his face as he drove, whimpering as he curled them inside and rubbed against that special spot. His nostrils flared as I clenched my pussy.
“I love how tight you are and how your pussy is trying to keep my fingers inside you,” he crooned.
The heel of his hand rubbed against my now swollen clit, and I rocked my hips against him, completely lost in the growing sensation. He was going to make me come. It was curling low in my belly, the feeling of it. I wondered if he’d believe me if I told him I’d only ever come with him.