Chapter 15
Shock coursed through me, and I broke out in a cold sweat, numbing everything except the quiet thrum of hope pulsing beneath it. I never thought I would tell a single soul about the abuse I’d suffered at Cameron’s hands. I thought I would take it to the grave with me.
But now I stood at the edge of something monumental—raw, terrifying, and barely within reach. If they could pull this off, if even half of what they promised came true…I’d be holding Declan again soon.
Even better, I’d get to start over. Not the way people say it when they move cities or get a haircut. I meant really start over—with freedom, with safety. What that looked like, I had no idea, but the relief inside me screamed: finally.
“Would you like more, Tori?” Andrew was at the bar. Pasha had left, and my nerves hadn’t quite settled.
“Yes please, that would be nice,” I murmured, leaning back on the couch, loving the sound of my nickname on his lips.
As I looked deep into the fireplace, I could feel his eyes studying me. I tried to keep my face calm. My mind was racing. A rush of needs I wasn’t even aware I could possess coursed through me. Having agreed to his help, I suddenly felt a boldness I hadn’t ever thought possible.
I tried to warn myself that this was all kinds of wrong. He had a girlfriend. Under lowered lashes, I watched him walk over and sighed. Then, his handsome face was right in front of me, his eyes locked onto mine with a hungry and intense stare. His presence seemed larger-than-life tonight.
He handed me the glass, and I sipped it slowly, savoring the sweet taste. With him sitting so close, I couldn’t keep my eyes from wandering down to his lips. I wanted him to kiss me. Hard. To take away every awful memory I’d shared.
“You’re doing it again,” Andrew stated, humor lacing his voice.
“Doing what?” I asked innocently, setting the glass down on the coffee table.
“Staring at my lips.”
His tongue made a slight appearance on his lower lip, and then his face curled into a big grin. He swirled his drink in his hand. I lowered my eyes and let them trail down his body. Maybe his thought process would extend down further.
If I stared at his cock, would that be enough of a hint without me having to say the words? I wondered what it looked like in my hands. I’d had it inside me twice, so I knew it was thick and long.
There was a burning desire to kneel in front of him and unzip his jeans.
To take his cock out and study its every line, maybe even worship it.
This was such a foreign concept, though.
I never felt anything like this with Cameron.
A wave of dirty thoughts crossed my mind. I clenched my thighs together.
“Victoria?” Andrew called my name.
“Huh?”
“I said my eyes are up here,” he laughed as my face flushed with embarrassment.
My eyes crawled slowly up his body to his face once more, getting stuck on his lips. He set his drink down next to mine and took my face softly in one of his large hands.
Leaning in, he whispered, “I warned you before.”
His voice was husky, and then his lips were on mine, soft and gentle, lasting only a tiny moment. The way he rubbed the side of his thumb against my chin had me shivering. He pulled down on my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to him, accepting what he offered.
His tongue tasted like brandy and cinnamon. His lips were incredibly soft and full. Even the scruff of his beard was soft. My hand found his chest, and I rested my palm there. Lust shot through me when he pulled me closer and kissed me passionately.
My arm wound around his neck as he ran one hand up and down my back. Moving away from my mouth, he kissed down my neck. The air shifted, and the sound of his breathing changed.
It danced against my skin, causing me to shiver in anticipation. The need for more of this man drove me forward. My hand landed on his knee as he once more found my lips.
Desire skated through me. Boldly, I inched my hand up his leg and brushed it against his cock. He was already hard as steel. With a moan, his mouth opened, allowing my tongue to dance with his.
He hauled me onto his lap, and then his hands were pushing the dress up over my thighs.
“How often do you self-harm, angel?” he asked, taking me by surprise before kissing me again.
I pulled back. “What are you talking about?” My face burned.
Trying to push his hands away only irritated him. He grabbed both of my hands in one of his, and I froze. Using his other hand, he pushed the dress up further.
“Don’t, please,” I whimpered, filled with shame.
I gulped as he lightly traced the largest of the bruises on my thighs.
“These weren’t here before, so I know they’re new.” Taking a deep breath, he continued to caress them. I tried to move from his lap, and he barked. “No, you’re not running anymore, remember?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, hanging my head. “It helps sometimes when I feel overwhelmed.”
“Have you discussed it with your therapist?”
I considered lying to him, but he seemed to know whenever I did. I shook my head.
“Words, please.”
“No, Sir. We don’t talk,” I offered, burying my head against his shoulder.
He tried to push me back to see my face, but I resisted and leaned in harder. He got the hint, and his hands moved further up my dress until his fingers caressed my back. I sighed as goosebumps erupted down my arms.
“I’m not trying to be difficult, I promise. Can we talk about it tomorrow?” I asked hopefully.
“If you promise me, we will,” Andrew said quietly in my ear.
“I promise,” I offered, and then groaned as his hands found my hips and then cupped my ass.
“I’m going to hold you to that. There will be consequences if you don’t. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir,” I moaned as he pulled my body onto his hard cock.
His hands left my ass, coming around the front of my body, and making their way up to my breasts. My nipples pebbled, and I arched my back as he squeezed them through my bra.
“So nice. You know, we really shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmured as his lips descended on mine once more.
“I know. I’m married and you have someone at home waiting for you,” I murmured as his hands tightened on my hips.
“I was talking more about the fact that we haven’t had a proper conversation.”
“You and your need to converse. Most people consider your hands on me a perfectly acceptable form of foreplay. No words necessary,” I teased.
He laughed. “I was thinking about the fact that the last time we fucked, I hurt you.”
“Do you want t-to hu-hurt me?” I asked, unsure why the thought didn’t frighten me like it should.
Warmth spread through my stomach as I recalled how it felt the last time we were together. The way he stretched me and hit deep with each thrust.
“Not intentionally, no. If I’m honest, I never lose control when I play. Sadly, you’re my one exception. Not to mention I never play without a safeword.”
“Oh. Maybe we could go with something you’re used to hearing. Kinsley’s?”
He wore a cocky smile but didn’t answer, making me feel nervous. What exactly was his relationship status with this girl? Because his hands ran over my nipples once more, with no shame.
He didn’t seem bothered at all because I was asking him directly. Maybe it was an open-type arrangement. I was grasping at anything to make myself feel better about my feelings for him.
“You want to use my little pixie’s safeword?”
I shrugged as feelings of jealousy hit. His little pixie? Was it possible to hate someone you didn’t even know?
Moaning as he pinched my nipples harder, I answered, “Seems reasonable.”
While safewords weren’t something I was trained with or had access to, especially in my relationship with Cameron, I wasn’t ignorant about them. There were plenty of conversations other couples had about safewords during all the trips to the sex clubs he dragged me to.
“Does she use it much? With you?”
“She absolutely uses it with me. Sometimes weekly, other times not at all,” he crooned in my ear, making me shudder in anticipation.
Stupidly, I wondered what her limits were. “Are you going to tell me what it is?”
“Why?”
“So we could, um…you know…play,” I squeaked as he unclipped the clasp on my bra, freeing my breasts.
“You want me to play with you, angel?”
A shiver raced through me at the tone of his voice. I wanted nothing more in my life than to play with this man. My lips parted, and a choked moan escaped, followed by a desperate plea.
“Yes, so much. I know it’s wrong, but…”
His hands cupped my breasts, and the feel of his fingertips was heavenly as he kneaded the flesh. He brushed his fingers over my hard nipples.
“Don’t stop,” I begged as he rolled them. “I need more of you.”
Slowly, he dragged the dress over my head and threw it to the side. His eyes locked onto my chest. Did he like what he saw? My areolas changed considerably after having Declan. They were larger than before and darker. Seconds ticked by, making me self-conscious.
I shyly crossed my arms over my exposed breasts. He peeled my arms away, shaking his head. Ever so slowly, he leaned in and kissed my left breast as his hand fondled the right one.
My head fell back as his tongue darted out and lapped at my nipple.
Sucking it into his mouth, he growled deep in his throat.
Vibrations tickled my skin, and his teeth pulled gently on the tip.
Sharp pleasure pulsed straight down from my nipples to my pussy.
I wiggled on his lap as he sucked harder, pulling another moan from me.
“You make the cutest noises,” he murmured before lavishing my breasts with more attention.
My pussy throbbed with anticipation at being touched. I groaned, thinking about his face between my legs and his mouth around my clit.
“What are you doing to me?” I asked, feeling bewildered by him. “You’ve invaded my brain in ways that don’t make sense. I want…want…” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“What do you want? Tell me.”
The scent of him washed over me. I brushed his hair back from his face in a moment of intimacy.