Chapter 24
24
I woke covered in dew. Droplets beaded in my hair and eyelashes and made my bare skin prickle with cold. I shifted and winced at the soreness between my legs.
Oh.
I pushed myself into a sitting position and looked around. It was just after dawn, and light gilded the forms of sleeping, naked faeries all up and down the slope. A blackened circle of grass was all that remained of the fiery boundary Drustan had raised last night.
He lay beside me, one arm flung over his head, chest rising and falling slowly. His eyes twitched beneath his lids as he dreamed.
I raked my gaze over his bare chest and then his bare lower half. I hadn’t seen that part of him clearly last night. In the daylight it looked soft and small, nothing like the hard intrusion of the night before. I knew something of male anatomy, but curiosity burned through me—if I were to wake him and arouse him again, what would it look like under the light of the rising sun?
Temptation called, but I couldn’t afford to find out.
I staggered to my feet and hunted for my skirt and top. While I could stumble into Earth House later than normal without arousing suspicion, the longer I stayed out here, the more likely it was I would be caught. Firelight and the mask still tied to my face had given me an aura of mystery in the darkness, but in the bright light of day, with the glittering powder washed from my body by dew and sweat, I probably looked very human indeed.
I cast one last, lingering glance at Drustan before hurrying away.
As I descended back into the claustrophobic confines of Mistei, my mind grew sharper, the fog of sleep and wine beginning to fade.
I had slept with Drustan.
Drustan, the Fire prince. One of the five most powerful faeries in the kingdom. I had taken him into my body with barely any conversation beforehand. I had moaned and scratched him and gone utterly out of my mind with lust.
My face heated at the recollection. Would he judge me for what I’d done?
I pushed the ashamed thoughts down. Did I judge him for what he’d done? No. He’d lost all inhibitions, and it had been beautiful. The only reason I doubted myself was because I was thinking in human terms. I was remembering the Elder’s staid, judgmental sermons, rather than trusting myself and my instincts.
The dagger stirred in my hair, a gentle warning that someone was approaching. Luckily, a door to the catacombs glittered nearby, and I slipped inside.
My body ached in unfamiliar ways as I descended a set of narrow stone steps.
I wasn’t a virgin anymore.
The realization didn’t feel as profound as I’d thought it would. Virginity would have mattered if I’d ever wanted to marry a man from my village, but what use did it have here? I’d never really wanted to marry, anyway. Human men had always been so…dull. Controlling and small-minded.
I remembered Drustan’s hot hands, the flicker of fire over his skin, the spicy taste of his tongue in my mouth.
I didn’t regret it.
I was nervous about facing him again, though. I cringed to remember how I’d scratched and bitten him like an animal, although he hadn’t seemed to mind. He’d even thrown his head back in ecstasy later that night, on the second time we’d joined. I’d left a purpling mark on his shoulder where my teeth had sunk in. With his healing powers, it had faded quickly, but in that moment I’d felt fierce, primal, and possessive. You are mine , that bite had proclaimed.
He wasn’t mine, though. Maybe when it was just the two of us in a circle of flame on a night devoted to pure hedonism, but not in real life. He was a prince and I was a servant. He was Noble Fae and I was human. He had power; I did not.
Oh, but if I did have power, the things I would do…
Back in my room, I changed into a nightgown, removed my makeup, and dragged a comb through the tangle my hair had become after hours of Drustan gripping it. As I finished, I heard movement in the other room.
I knocked softly on Lara’s door.
“Come in.”
She was lying in bed, also in a nightgown, smiling dazedly at the ceiling. I exclaimed when I saw the bruises peppering her skin. Her left eye was swollen nearly shut.
I rushed to her side. “What happened? I can bring a compress.”
She batted my hands away. “I’m fine.” She sounded happier and more relaxed than I’d ever heard her. “Did you have fun? I lost track of you.”
She didn’t know I’d slept with Drustan. I thanked the stars for that. “I did,” I said as casually as I could manage. “I danced and drank until dawn. What about you?”
She stretched and winced at the motion. “It was incredible. I fought and drank and shouted…and I kissed so many people, and then I hit every single one of them.” She giggled. “They hit me back, but I always won.”
“That doesn’t sound fun.” I studied the bruises. “Maybe we can take revenge on the ones who hurt you.”
It was the kind of thing I would have said to Anya if someone had been cruel to her, but back then my revenge would have been a small prank or some sort of public humiliation. I was startled to realize that now I was thinking in terms of actual violence. Had living among the Fae changed me, or had this viciousness always been within me?
“No.” She struggled to sit upright against her pillows. “It was what I wanted. It was what they wanted. Kenna, I’ve never felt so powerful in my life. I could do anything last night.”
She was beaming, so I hesitantly smiled back. “Did the fire tell you to hit people? You said it told you to be strong.”
Her eyes went dreamy and distant. “It was the strangest thing. Time seemed to stand still while I was jumping, and then something—maybe the Fire Shard, who knows—asked me what I wanted, and somehow the answer was there. I was tired of being weak. So it told me to be strong and take what I wanted.”
The power to break all the rules , Drustan had panted in my ear when I’d asked what the fire had shown him. To have anything I want without limits .
My deepest desire had been to be loved and touched—to be valued. To feel free at last after an upbringing in poverty and my recent months as a servant. To take what I wanted, just like Drustan and Lara.
I took her hand, gentling my grip when I realized her knuckles were bruised. She would heal soon—not as fast as Drustan, but definitely faster than me. “I’m happy you got what you wanted,” I said, and I meant it.
The candidates met for a late lunch to cure their hangovers. Lara had felt fine after eating a hearty breakfast, but Edric and Karissa looked nauseated. I hadn’t seen what any of the other candidates had done, since I’d been too busy keeping an eye on Lara and then experiencing my own darkest fantasy.
I blinked hard, trying to keep my eyes open. I’d slept for a few hours that morning, but it hadn’t been nearly enough.
Aidan cast me an amused glance. “Did you have fun last night?”
I smiled nonchalantly. “Yes. Just stayed up too late drinking.”
“You know, I didn’t see you at the servants’ gathering last night. Where were you?”
“I went to a smaller party.” A party of two , I thought, and suppressed the urge to giggle. Goodness, I was tired.
Aidan raised his eyebrows. “That’s the face of a woman with a secret.”
“It was nothing special.”
“Darling, I hate to tell you, but that means he didn’t do a very good job.”
I couldn’t help it. I snorted with laughter and had to clap a hand over my mouth and nose to contain the sound.
Aidan grinned. “So? Who was it?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, still trying to repress my giggles. “All I did was drink.”
“Sure.” Aidan rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.”
“And you? Did you…meet anyone?”
His face shadowed, and I immediately regretted the question. “No. I just drank.”
Was he parroting my words or telling the truth? I couldn’t pry deeper without inviting him to interrogate me as well. I glanced at Edric, wondering what the Fire candidate had done last night.
“Oh, he did.” Aidan had caught my glance.
“I thought you weren’t a mind reader.”
“I only read desires, darling, which is why I know you have a secret.” He winked. “No, I speak purely as someone who recognizes when a friend is prying where they have no business.”
A friend. Something inside me warmed at the words. “I’m just curious.”
“And you must think me a fool. Keep prying, though. I think I like the sympathy.”
I heard the edge of pain beneath the humor, so I squeezed his hand. “Whenever you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
“I share when you share.”
“So never.”
We both laughed.
The doors to the dining room opened. I glanced up, and my stomach tumbled as if I were falling.
Drustan.
He looked sleepy, but somehow his heavy lids only increased his charisma. He was sex incarnate in a carmine shirt that opened to mid-breastbone. My cheeks burned and my heart increased its frantic pace as his eyes swept the room and finally landed on me.
“No,” Aidan whispered, sounding utterly scandalized. “Kenna, you absolute witch, tell me everything.”
I ignored him.
Drustan’s eyes traced down my body and up again. He gave me a slow, lazy smile that made my stomach turn over, and then his tongue darted to the corner of his lips; a small, careless gesture, but I knew what it meant.
“Great Shards.” Aidan sounded like he was about to pass out.
“Candidates.” Drustan turned his attention to them. “Did you enjoy your first taste of Fire House’s favorite holiday?”
Murmured assents and nodding heads met the question, although a few winced and rubbed their temples as if the motion had worsened their headaches.
“When will the trial happen?” Una asked. “I thought the announcement was supposed to be last night.”
“It already happened.” Drustan winked.
The uproar that followed was almost comical.
“What do you mean, it already happened?”
“Did we pass?”
“Oh, Shards, I’m going to be sick.”
Garrick stood, planting his hands on the table and pinning Drustan with an angry glare. “We weren’t told the rules.”
“What was the test?” Karissa looked terrified. She traded concerned glances with Talfryn, which surprised me; apparently the two worst performers had formed a bond, despite their initial hostility. He, too, looked petrified at the thought of failing whatever the test had been.
I frowned, considering what I’d seen. What could the trial have been? There hadn’t been any announcement…
But the fire had been magical, and it had given everyone who jumped over it a very clear command. The trial had been dedicated to hedonism. If the candidates hadn’t succumbed to their wildest desires…
Drustan confirmed my suspicion. “The fire told you what to do. A true Noble Fae values pleasure and instinct as much as anything else. If you showed the fire you were capable of seizing what you wanted, you succeeded.”
That sounded like an extremely easy test considering my experience last night, but I was surprised to see dismay on a few faces. Talfryn looked devastated, although Karissa was suddenly smug. Wilfrid, the male Void candidate, looked anxious, as much as he ever let emotion show through his habitual reserve. Then, to my surprise, I noticed Una sitting stone-still, alarm evident in her stiff shoulders and widened eyes.
Was it a coincidence two of the three failures had come from Void House? They supposedly embraced chaos, but every Void faerie I’d met, including Hector and Kallen, most often exhibited a demeanor of cold control. It didn’t make sense. All the other houses I could summarize in a few words, but Void had proven contradictory and opaque.
I almost smacked my forehead. Contradictory and opaque. Just another way to say chaotic and dark. Perhaps I understood them after all, as much as I ever would.
“Enjoy your meal.” Drustan exited without another glance in my direction.
I exhaled, my shoulders drooping as he left. Should I be relieved he hadn’t acknowledged me again? Or upset? I had no idea how women behaved in these situations.
I refocused on the tables, where the candidates were hotly debating exactly how much commitment to hedonism they’d needed to show and whether or not it had been fair of Fire House to test them without sharing the rules.
“I suppose you don’t need to worry,” Garrick told Lara. “I saw you last night. You were attacking faeries like an animal—when you weren’t sucking on their tongues.” The words were stinging, clearly meant to humiliate.
Lara met my eyes across the room, then lifted her chin. “I did. And I would do it again. Are you jealous, Garrick? Maybe you want me to hit you, too.”
Gytha and Karissa crowed in delight, and Edric clapped Lara on the shoulder. She met Garrick’s gaze defiantly, with no shame on her face.
I had never been prouder.