5. Koi #3
“With a mother like you, any baby we have will be perfect.” Marcel slid off the bed, jogging around the bed to my side. “You are so beautiful.” He pulled me up. “Let’s go on and have this baby.”
For a few minutes, I lay my head against his chest while he massaged my back.
“Koi, do you want to tell me about what’s going on?”
“Did you not hear me? I think I was clear enough,” I sucked my teeth. “You just want me to repeat it so I can understand what I’m saying. I know these tactics.”
“Sassy, much.” She set the iPad down. “What? How do you want to do this? Talk like girl friends? That seems to be the only way you speak now,” Rae smacked her lips. “You need to be real with yourself, but I’m not gonna lecture you.”
“Good.” I folded my arms over my chest, letting out a deep sigh.
“But right now we are not in friend mode and you’re paying so I suggest you speak up.” By now Rae had gotten up from her chair, walking over to the water machine in the corner. “Or you can waste your money.” She took a sip from her cup, shrugged and sauntered back to her chair.
“He fucked my cousin who has hated me all my life and now she’s on life support and her newborn is his kid,” I groaned.
“This is a shit show. The man I gave years to has played in my face.” I felt the tears welling in my eyes.
“He also came to my job today acting up. All because I told him he needed to go.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this. All of these are valid reasons to want to turn to drinking, but Koi you are better than that. Space and a peace of mind is what you should be striving for, not the bottle.”
“Have you ever been in my shoes?” Silence. “I didn’t think so and then I can’t have a healthy baby, but this bitch goes and has a child by my man first. A healthy child. A boy,” I chuckled. Not because it was funny but because it was better than me crying.
“And all of that is extreme. I can’t tell you what to do but I can give you the advice I’d want someone to give to me.”
“Yea.” I stood to my feet, walking back and forth in front of Rae. “So now you think the breakup should be a mutual agreement?”
“No. If you want out, you leave, but you make sure he knows that. Don’t drag him along.” I swallowed hard. Yes, I wanted this nigga out of my face, but the idea of actually being alone and single had me panicking. “This would be new.”
“And why is hearing or saying the word new scary to you? The look on your face says it all. It’s okay to experience something new, you might like it.
” I didn’t know if Rae was being friendly or if the slant of her eyes and the smirk on her face was her flirting.
Either way, this session needed to hurry up and end.
Forty-five minutes never felt this damn long in my life. I swallowed hard, eyes fixated on Rae. The alarm sounded, allowing me to relax a bit.
“Until next time.” She laid her iPad down. “Go home, get some sleep and tomorrow tackle the day, but if you don’t want to deal with your family and their shit tonight, don’t. Fuck ‘em.” She stated matter factly. “You gotta start putting you first.”
“You’re right, but now that the session is over, I can breathe. Goodnight.”
The day was long and drawn out. Annoyed, lonely, and horny, I drove from Rae’s office in Manhattan to my condo in Yonkers.
The whole drive home I prayed that Marcel was not at the house.
My tolerance for bullshit right now was at an all-time low, and he was like a gnat that didn’t know when to stop.
“Hello,” I answered the phone, agitated. I had pulled my car into the parking lot when my mother’s name flashed across my screen.
“I’ve been calling you. What is this that I hear about Marcel and Rika? What the hell is going on and why didn’t you call me?”
“For starters, mother, I didn’t call because I already knew what type of issue I was gonna have to deal with.
And honestly, I don’t have the mental capacity for the “I told you so’s and the I should have known” bullshit.
” Cursing at my mother wasn’t on my bingo card for this year, but something had to give.
She had to know I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything more than I had to.
“Wow. So, you feeling yourself, huh? I didn’t hurt you nor did I disrespect you, but I hope whatever you feeling will pass.
But I tell your hot ass, one thing, don’t come crying to me with your bullshit.
” She ended the call before I could even respond.
I deserved that, but today just wasn’t the day to feed into anything.
I tossed my phone in my bag, grabbed my keys, and stepped out of the car.
“Koi,” my heart almost jumped out my ass.
“What nigga? Damn. Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Like where did you come from?” Marcel stood off to the side with a bouquet of roses. If we were on better terms, I would have blushed at his gesture, but today, he could shove those roses down his throat and choke on ‘em for all I cared.
“I was just coming to grab some things, but I wanted to give you these.” I cut my eyes at him before waving him off.
“Go take them to ya’ dying baby mama. She seems to need them more.
And secondly, we are not about to make this back and forth a habit.
Get more than one outfit.” As harsh as my words were, they were the truth.
Rika’s stupid ass had done the ultimate betrayal, and if she pulled through, I was going to make sure that I had my day with her.
“Koi, I’m trying to give you time to work through this, but you know I don’t want that bitch, and we are damn near married. You willing to throw all this shit away?”
“See, that’s the problem. I don’t care if you don’t want to be with her or not.
You threw it all away the day you crawled between her funky legs.
Shit, I’m shocked that neither of us ended up with something, but I won’t stick around to see how this plays out.
” I brushed by him, bumping his shoulder extra hard, dropping the flowers to the ground. “So please, stop popping up here.”
“I live here, too!” The sweet talking guy he was a few moments ago was gone. “You ain’t gonna just throw me out. I said I’ll give you space. We're gonna figure this out, but you're not just kicking me out of the place I paid for.”
“Marcel, please. Diqué, you paid for it.” I let out a slight laugh.
“You paid for it cus that’s what fiancée’s do.
But now that you’ve gotten caught cheating and brought a kid into this world, you go make a life with your family.
One that includes leaving your keys here and signing over the condo to me. ”
“I wish the fuck I would.” Marcel was about to piss me off. I walked away, leaving him standing there. The shit that he thought was okay had me second-guessing if I was this pushover bitch. There was no way that he thought this shit was normal. But then again, I did put up with a lot.
He trailed behind me like a lost puppy. His breathing and footsteps had me screwing up my lips in disgust.
“Please do not bother me,” I told him as soon as I unlocked the door. I retreated to my bedroom, skipping past my usual routine of dropping my purse and keys on the counter. “And I mean it. I’m not in the mood.”
“I heard you the first time. Damn.”