Chapter Two
Zara
My suitcase was stuffed so full, I was scared the zipper was going to break and I’d be buried under an explosion of clothes. My car wasn’t any better, filled to the brim with everything I’d need for the summer.
“I’m beginning to think you’re not coming back,” Zane said, throwing himself on my stripped bed.
I brushed my hair out of my face with a sigh. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. This is a summer job. I have no interest in experiencing Wyoming winters.”
He raised a doubtful brow. “Your suitcase says otherwise. Do you really think you need two pairs of heels?”
I scrunched my nose, contemplating, then nodded decisively. “You never know what could come up. I’m not going to be working all the time.”
“Still…” he swung his crossed leg, his flip-flop dangling perilously, “it’s Wyoming—and not even Cheyenne. Though it is a stretch to call that a city.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Since when are you such a snob? It’s not like Portland is the paragon of glamour.”
He flicked his fingers. “I just can’t see you so far from the coast. It doesn’t make sense. Can you explain this very abrupt decision one more time? Since you’re leaving me with Mom and Dad, I need to be able to talk them down when they start climbing the walls with worry about you.”
My brother was nothing if not dramatic, but that didn’t mean his point wasn’t valid.
We were a tight, close-knit family, and our parents were the definition of overprotective.
I loved them. Really, truly loved them. Since I’d split from Jackson, they’d been superheroes, offering nonstop support, checking on me every day, making sure I wanted for nothing.
That was why I needed to go somewhere I could breathe on my own. No matter how well-intentioned, sometimes their concern was suffocating.
I sat beside him, laying my head on his shoulder, and he reached for my hand, threading our fingers together the way he always did.
“You know how much I’ve always loved the Kelly ranch,” I said. “The summers I spent there were so uncomplicated.”
Before things got heavy. Before I grew up and made a string of bad decisions. I wouldn’t have said it was the last place I was happy, but it might have been the place where I could dial back into those days—when I was sure of who I was and where I was going. I needed that more than anything.
He huffed. “Because there’s nothing there.”
I poked his side. “Exactly, Zaney. Nothing but cattle, horses, and endless blue sky. That’s the point.”
He shuddered. “All that land creeps me out. I went once—never again.”
My brother was a city boy. Funny, since our mom was a nature lover. But our dad only spent time outside to be with her, so I guessed he’d inherited that gene from him.
When we were ten and eleven, they’d shipped us off to spend the summer with their college friends, Lock and Elena Kelly.
Zane had been completely miserable, but I’d lived my best life on their ranch, getting dirty and exploring with the Kelly kids.
The next summer, Zane’s refusal to go back was adamant, while I couldn’t wait to return—which I did, every summer until I was sixteen.
I lifted my head, drinking in my fill of his face. Zane had our mom’s blue eyes and long lashes, hooded by our dad’s heavy brow that always seemed a little suspicious. His bronze skin was so smooth it was almost unreal, even up close.
My brother was a beautiful person, inside and out, and I was going to miss him more than anyone.
I’d been missing him for years, though, all of my own doing.
My life with Jackson had become so chaotic, I’d distanced myself from pretty much everyone, not wanting them to see and question and know.
I’d been embarrassed and ashamed—still was, to be honest—and had barely been able to face any of them.
The second I walked out on Jackson, I was lucky my parents and brother had immediately opened their arms to me.
If they hadn’t...I didn’t want to think about where I’d be.
Still, I needed more...different. The last six months, they’d propped me up. It was time for me to figure out what standing on my own two feet felt like.
I dug my teeth into my bottom lip, considering my words.
“I need this reset—a summer away from everything, so when I come back, I’ll be ready to start fresh.
If I had to do it now…” I shook my head, “I can’t even think about what that would look like.
I’m not there yet. And a lot of my best memories happened during the summers I spent at the ranch. ”
“Mmmhmm.” He didn’t seem convinced, and I wasn’t sure there was anything I could say to make him so. “You could reset with Steven and me, you know. That offer will always stand.”
A blond head poked through the doorway. “Did I hear my name?”
Zane held his hand out and wiggled his fingers, beckoning his husband closer. “I was reminding Zara our guest room is permanently open to her.”
Steven crossed the room, taking Zane’s hand. His thumb went straight to Zane’s wedding ring, rubbing the smooth surface. “That’s true, honey. We love having you at ours.”
I hopped up, giving Steven a hug. He was an incredible hugger. Only a few inches taller than me, but stocky, with massive arms capable of lifting extremely heavy objects. He put them to good use now, wrapping me up tight.
“I’m most definitely going to take you up on that when I come back from Wyoming, since I’ll be homeless.”
Steven was a foreman at one of the docks our dad operated. A few years ago, Zane stopped in to have lunch with him, laid eyes on Steven, and never looked away again. They might’ve looked like an odd match on the outside, but besides my parents, I’d never seen another couple so in love.
Another reason I had to get out of here: I was still in my bitter divorce stage and refused to infect them.
Zane cleared his throat. “The offer might be rescinded if you don’t take your hands off my man.”
I squeezed Steven tighter. “But he’s so good at hugging.” Zane growled, and I laughed, releasing Steven. “All right. You can have him back.”
The two of them helped me pack the rest of my bedroom. I hadn’t lived in this apartment long, so there wasn’t much, and everything I did have was going into storage while I figured myself out.
Just as we were deciding whether to reward all our hard work with pizza or Chinese, our parents showed up carrying bags from my favorite Mexican place.
Mom bustled into the kitchen, brushing kisses on my, Zane, and Steven’s cheeks. Zane followed to help her dish the food onto paper plates as Dad greeted Steven, clapping him on the shoulder and kissing the side of his head. “How’s my favorite son-in-law?”
“I’m your only son-in-law now,” Steven quipped.
Dad didn’t miss a beat. “Nothing changed. You were always my favorite.”
“Amir, be nice,” Mom called from the kitchen.
He grumbled under his breath. “No need to be nice to that piece of shit, Zadie. Least our girl came to the realization before wasting any more of her life with him.”
She sighed. “Do we even need to talk about him?”
I waved. “If I get a vote, we never mention my very bad taste in men again. I’m aware my picker is broken. It’s in the shop being serviced.”
My dad came to me, taking me by the shoulders.
With my mom, brother, and me, he was a gentle man, but as I’d gotten older, I’d become aware outsiders had a different impression of him.
Even at sixty, he was an intimidating presence.
Tall and strong, his dark eyes were a black hole when he wasn’t focused on the people he loved, and his resting expression was a scowl.
But he always looked at me like I was precious and treated me the same.
“Nothing about you’s broken, baby girl. You got caught up in something, and maybe a little turned around, but that’s not your fault.” He leaned down, kissing my forehead. “You’ll take the summer, get your head on right, and see you were never the problem.”
I sucked in a shaky breath, my head falling to his shoulder. “Thanks for saying that. I was sure you were going to try to talk me out of going.”
“If I thought it’d do any good, I would.” His chuckle was a low rumble. “You’ve got your mind set on Wyoming. I get that. Only thing I worry about is you making the drive alone. Not a fan.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, hoping I sounded more certain than I felt.
It would be a long drive, farther than I’d ever done.
..the kind of trip I’d imagined taking with Jackson one day.
And while I’d be doing it alone, at least I could play any music I liked without worrying about him complaining and eat all the junk food I wanted without judgment.
“You will be.” He pulled back, tipping my chin up. “You’re gonna get out there, have your big adventure, find your path again, and set it right.”
“I hope so,” I whispered.
“I know so, Zara.”