3. Mali
“Delete. Delete. Delete.”
As I sat on my couch, coffee mug in hand, I scrolled through my camera roll. I tapped on every picture of Juda and deleted it from my collection. The freedom I felt to be done with our relationship reassured me I had made the right decision.
Today marked four days since we’d broken up.
The day after I broke up with him, I woke up bright and early to place his belongings in three large trash bags.
When he pulled up and knocked on the door, I ignored him.
He tried for a few moments before accepting his fate.
He threw the bags onto the bed of his truck and pulled off.
Relief washed over me when I realized Juda had actually left me alone.
We’d been dating on and off for a long time.
We’d gone through the motions together. He’d watched me go from a pimple-faced teenager to an adult with a real job and real-life situations.
He had a grip on me, and the more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I became.
No matter what we went through, he always won me over.
This time was different, though.
For a long time, I clung to our history, his familiarity, and my need for affection. Like an idiot, I ignored every red flag he proudly waved in my face—as if he knew no matter what he did to me, I’d always welcome him back with open arms. Not anymore.
Something snapped inside of me.
Everything changed.
For the first time in my dating career, I chose my peace over accepting scraps from a man who never truly loved me. Juda loved the idea of me, but his insecurities pushed us apart on more than one occasion.
The boy I fell in love with as a young girl had become a mean man—a possessive, insecure, scary man. There was a part of my mind that feared for my life with him in my home. Now it was all too loud to ignore.
After another scroll of my camera roll, I let out a satisfied sigh.
I placed the mug on the coffee table and sat back.
This was it. A fresh start would be good for my soul.
I’d get some time to fall in love with myself, enjoy my company, go out and let my hair down, and most importantly, feel safe in my home again.
Buzz. Buzz.
The vibration of my phone brought me out of my thoughts. I swiped down on the screen to see a text message from my best friend, Joylei.
Juicy Booty:
Girl, do I need to send SWAT over there?
Me:
Not at all, boo. What’s up?
Juicy Booty:
I haven’t heard from you in days. You tell me what’s up?
Me:
Life has taken a turn.
Juicy Booty:
Well, you usually tell me everything. What’s going on?
Me:
I broke up with Juda a couple of days ago. Needed some time to myself to work through the emotions. I didn’t mean to shut you out, but I’ve been going through the transition of reclaiming my time.
The three dots popped up, disappeared, and reappeared again.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I pictured the shock on her smooth round face.
Joylei had been my best friend since before I could wipe my ass good.
Our moms were best friends, and we clicked naturally.
I often liked to tell people she was my platonic soulmate.
When the dots disappeared a third time and her picture popped up on my screen to show the incoming call, I let out a soft giggle before answering.
“Hello, crazy girl,” I greeted.
“Cut the chitchat, bitch. What do you mean you broke up with Juda?” The volume of her voice made me shake my head.
“You don’t have to yell, girl.”
“Mali . . .”
I snickered. “Girl, I came home from work the other day, and Juda was on his drunken bullshit again. He kept accusing me of cheating, and I was just tired of the same bullshit. He got in my face, but I realized I pay all the fuckin’ bills, and no man is going to stress me out anymore. So, I told him we were done.”
Joylei let out a cackle. “Good fuckin’ riddance to that leech. He didn’t deserve you, girl. I want the next man to give you the world. I can’t wait to see you loved properly. I can’t wait for you to have real peace in your life, baby.”
I smiled softly. “I appreciate you, sis. I know you don’t like to be left out of the loop, but I really needed a couple days to sit in my decision.”
“How do you feel? Do we need a waiting to exhale moment and burn his shit or what?”
“Honestly? I’ve never felt freer. My heart is lighter, my soul is happier, and I’m overall in better spirits. It was long overdue.”
“Amen! We obviously have to go out this weekend to celebrate.”
A hum fell from my lips. “I don’t know if I’ll be in a party mood, but a bestie date can definitely get locked in.”
“Sounds good with me. I’m in dire need of a seafood boil anyway.”
“Ooo! It’s been a minute since I had some crawfish. Let’s do crawfish and daiquiris.”
“Now you’re talking my language. Lock me in after your shift on Saturday, or we can do Sunday Funday.”
“I’m down for a Sunday Funday so I can go out, have a good time, and make it home in time to get some sleep for work in the morning.”
Joylei laughed. “It’s a date. I can’t wait to see the newly single Mali in action.”
“Give her some grace,” I pleaded. “It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been single for real. It’s a learning curve.”
“You’ll be a natural.”
“You think so?” I asked.
“Definitely. Plus, you’ve got the life of the party as your best friend. You’re in good hands.”
A giggle filled the air. “You’re right. I’ve got you locked in for Sunday. I need to get up and get ready for work now, though.”
“Alright, I love you, boo.”
“I love you too.”
We hung up shortly after. As I stood up from the couch, a soft sigh slid from my lips.
“Everything is going to work out in my favor. This is the start of something beautiful.”
The shift went by in a blur of wet nose kisses, waggling butts, and gentle eyes.
I didn’t have any clients on the schedule, but I helped with walk-ins.
When I first arrived, I wanted to stay as busy as possible to keep my mind off of Juda.
The flow of customers helped suppress the fear of the thought that Juda would come and cause a scene.
The feeling lasted most of the shift, but now, with only thirty minutes left on the clock, I had relaxed completely.
“I just don’t get how people get upset at what someone else is doing. What I eat won’t make the next person shit, so why do folks get so animated when I tell them I put sugar on my grits? God forbid I want something sweet with my eggs and sausage.” Clareese crossed her arms over her chest.
Diego shook his head. “Honey, I’m not even from the South, and I know they don’t play about their grits.”
“And I don’t get it. Me and my sugary grits ain’t hurting nobody.”
I let out a chuckle as I tied the black-and-white bandana around Lucy’s neck. The fifteen-pound Chihuahua was a force to be reckoned with. She loved to have her nails painted and accessories added after her grooming.
“What do you put on your grits, Mali?” Clareese quizzed.
“It depends on what it’s paired with,” I replied.
“Now I’m intrigued.” Kira pulled the stool over and sat beside me. “Please elaborate.”
I shook my head and held the freshly groomed Chihuahua in my arms. I rubbed between her ears as I replied, “If it’s paired with fish or shrimp, then I’m not putting sugar on it. Paired with sausage, bacon, and eggs, I’m gonna sprinkle a little sugar on it.”
Clareese did a little jig. “I knew you were cool people, Mali. You see, this is why I love you. You’re the best of both worlds.”
“Hell naw!” Kira shouted with a laugh. “Mali’s tastebuds are trash just like yours.”
“Hey, Clareese was right. What you eat doesn’t make me shit. So, at the end of the day, you eat your grits how you want to, and I’ma eat mine how I want to.” I shrugged.
“You better say that, boss lady!” Clareese cackled with amusement.
“Y’all start cleaning up, hell. I don’t know how y’all end up on these controversial topics every shift.” I held Lucy in my arms as I cleaned up my work area.
“It makes the shift go faster,” Diego responded.
“Y’all are a mess,” I stated. As I tossed the empty shampoo bottle into the trash can, the front door chimed.
“That must be your mommy, Lucy,” I sang into the dog’s ear. We walked back out to the front, and the smile on my face instantly fell.
Nausea consumed me.
Anger and disgust coursed through my blood.
“Juda, what are you doing here?” I asked cautiously.
“I gave you a little time to cool off. Are you ready to work through this?” he asked with a smile on his face.
My mouth opened and closed several times as I tried to find the right response. “Wait . . . What?”
“We were both upset the other night and said things neither of us meant to say. It’s cool, though. I’m ready to fix this shit, baby.” Juda stepped closer to me, but I took a step back.
“Juda. I’m at work right now, and my client is coming to pick up her baby. Please don’t do this at my place of business.” My teeth gritted together as I tried to keep my voice even and void of the anger burning through my veins.
Lucy’s body visibly stiffened in my arms. She could sense my discomfort, so I continued to rub her ears as gently as I could. I didn’t want her to attack Juda. Chihuahuas were very territorial, and Lucy was no different. She would bark and nip at anybody she deemed a threat.
“Baby, I don’t want another second to go by with us at odds. I love you, and I want to come home.”
Before I could reply, the door chimed again. My eyes moved past Juda’s tall frame to look at Christina. She approached us with a bright smile.
“Hey, Christina. Lucy was a doll today.” I gave her my full attention.
I pushed the anger to the back burner to uphold the exemplary customer engagement I prided myself on.
I enjoyed leaving a positive impression with the clients who trusted me with their pets.
Juda’s presence wouldn’t change that. From the corner of my eye, I saw Juda’s jaw clench.
When I didn’t divert my attention away from Christina and Lucy, he made his way out of the entrance. I exhaled visibly.
“I’m so happy to hear it. My diva loves to get pampered.” Christina took Lucy into her arms, and the tiny chihuahua scattered wet kisses all over her cheeks.
“It’s always a pleasure to pamper Lucy. She’s one of the few smalls who let me paint their nails.”
Christina nodded with a smile. “I’m so glad she sits still for you. When I try at home, she fusses.”
“She’s a doll for sure. I look forward to seeing y’all again soon. Diego, could you close out Christina for me? I need to handle something personal outside.” I looked over my shoulder at Diego, who nodded immediately.
“Of course, Mali.” Diego walked over to the monitor to close out Christina’s bill.
The anger slowly returned to my body as I tossed my apron over the counter and walked outside. The sun greeted me and kissed my skin. The warmth usually comforted me, but the sight of Juda, leaning against his lifted truck with a scowl on his face, made my stomach churn.
“You better have a damn good reason for coming to my place of business and embarrassing me in front of my employees and clients. What the fuck were you thinking, Juda?” I asked in a low shout.
His dark eyes perused my frame as he crossed his arms over his chest, flexing his muscular build. “I didn’t embarrass you.”
“You did.”
“No, I didn’t. I pulled up on you to discuss a misunderstanding . . .”
I chuckled humorlessly. There was nothing even remotely amusing about the situation. “I’m not about to play this game with you. You being here is embarrassing, whether you like it, but that’s neither here nor there. I told you that night we were done, and I meant that shit.”
“No. You didn’t mean it.”
I tossed my hands up in frustration. “Juda, please get this through your thick-ass skull. We are done. There is no salvaging our relationship. I chose peace over the hell you put me through for the last decade. Delete my number, forget my existence, and never show up at my place of business again, or I’m going to call the cops and put a restraining order on you. ”
He chuckled—the sound made the fine hair on my skin rise in alarm. I balled my hands into tight fists.
“That’s cute.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The fuck are you talking about? What’s fuckin’ cute?”
“You. Thinking you can be done with me like you’re not mine forever.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “I’ll never be yours again, Juda.”
“We’ll see about that.”
The dark, scary gaze in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine.
I watched with bated breath as he climbed into his truck and peeled out of the parking lot.
The obnoxiously loud truck left a gray fog in its wake.
Everything associated with Juda made my skin crawl.
Now that I was no longer blind to his toxicity, I wanted nothing more to do with him.
As I walked over to my car, I leaned against the passenger door and put my face in my hands.
I let out several deep breaths to keep from crying.
The only thing I was certain of at the moment was that I couldn’t ignore Juda’s threats.
I listened to too many true crime podcasts not to stay on my p’s and q’s.
I need to change my locks. I need to let Joylei know this man has lost his fuckin’ marbles, and I need to install some security cameras . . . just in case Juda actually tries something.
I didn’t feel safe—at home or at work. We had a security system installed, but I wasn’t sure cameras and alarms were enough.
Juda was a bitch-ass nigga and wouldn’t dare cause a scene in front of law enforcement or other men.
Now that I thought about it, that should have been an indicator he wasn’t shit to begin with.
It might have seemed like an overreaction to some people, but I had to put myself first. I couldn’t let his threats fall on deaf ears and end up dead in a ditch somewhere.